Emma (24 page)

‘Touch my daughter or Emma again,’ Gran said, ‘and I’ll make sure you won’t live the year out, Richard Gillows.’

‘What are you going to do – put a curse on me? They say you’re a witch,’ Richard sneered mockingly. ‘Maybe they should have burned you years ago.’

‘Aye, happen they should,’ Gran said. ‘I’ve never used my powers for evil yet, Richard Gillows, but there’s a first time for everything. The next time you hurt my girl, you’ll feel a pain in your belly. The pain will grow and burn your insides, and you’ll lose your manhood. If you persist in your bullying, you will die within the year.’

Gran’s voice sounded so odd. I had been summoning the strength to get out of bed and stop their argument, but something made me fall back against the pillows, unable to move even a finger. I shivered, feeling cold all over. Gran really did sound as though she was cursing him.

‘You’re just a senile old woman,’ Richard shouted, but his voice too was strange, as though he half believed her. ‘Damn you! And damn that little whore in there!’

I heard the sound of heavy feet as he stamped along the hall and down the stairs. For a moment there was silence, then a muffled thud as he slammed the door of the shop behind him.

Gran came back into the bedroom. Her eyes glittered, and I knew she had relished the scene with Richard. She looked younger and was definitely pleased with herself.

‘That should make him think twice. And if it doesn’t, I’ll give Greta something to put in his dinner – not to poison him, mind. Just to make him feel a little sorry for himself.’

‘Gran!’ I stared at her, half shocked, half amused. ‘You wouldn’t – would you?’

‘If it was the only way to stop him hurting you.’ She glanced at my mother. ‘It’s been done before, I daresay. There’s more ways than one of drawing the tiger’s tooth. I’ll do what needs to be done for your sake, Emma. And your mother will do the same.’

Mother wouldn’t look at her, but her manner was guilty. I remembered Father’s illness at my wedding and wondered. Surely she wouldn’t have … not deliberately? Was it possible that my mother had put something in Father’s food that day? No, she couldn’t have. I dismissed the idea hastily.

I looked at Gran doubtfully. ‘You haven’t really put a curse on him, have you?’

She chortled with delight, her eyes screwing up with laughter. ‘Only if he thinks I have, love. It’s all in the mind. You can curse some ’til you’re blue in the face. Harold would have laughed his head off. I had other ways of dealing with him. But there’s some frighten themselves. If Richard wants to believe I’ve cursed him, he’ll mayhap bring on the symptoms I’ve put into his mind.’

‘Oh, Gran …’ I wasn’t sure what to believe. ‘You’re a terrible woman.’

‘I look after those I care for,’ she said. ‘Richard knows he only has to leave you alone. Nothing will happen unless he hurts you.’

Her eyes glittered suddenly, and I felt a coldness go through me. Father had died of stomach pains and sickness – could he have been poisoned?

No, surely not! Not Gran. Not my mother! Both had wanted to protect me – but surely neither of them would have gone to such lengths for my sake? I certainly hadn’t wanted him dead.

‘Well, I’ll be off, lass.’ Gran bent stiffly to kiss me and then the baby. ‘If Richard starts on you again, just you let me know.’

I nodded but said nothing. I would need to be careful not to let her or my mother see any bruises Richard inflicted in future. He was a brute but I had no desire for his death – or the trouble their meddling might bring down on our heads.

‘He won’t,’ I said, smiling at her. ‘Things will be better now the baby is born. He was just jealous, that’s all.’

‘I’ll see you out, Ma.’

My mother followed hers from the room. I could hear them whispering together at the top of the stairs, but their words were indistinct. A few minutes later, my mother returned. She was smiling, and I thought she looked relieved, as though a weight had somehow lifted from her mind.

‘What have you two been hatching out between you?’

‘Nothing. Nothing at all, Emma.’ She shook her head at me. ‘Your Gran knows a lot about herbs and things, love, but she wouldn’t hurt anyone. Not really. Besides, curses don’t kill people, that’s old wives’ talk. Like she said, it’s all in the mind. Just harmless nonsense. It might make Richard think before he lashes out next time, but that can’t be bad, can it?’

‘No, I don’t suppose so,’ I said, but I was uneasy. ‘I just think it’s best not to stir things up. I wouldn’t want anything horrible to happen – to any of us.’

‘It’s not going to happen, Emma.’

‘I meant what I said, Mum. If Richard hits me again, I shall leave him. I’ll have a bit put by soon, and I shall be able to work again. We could go somewhere together. You could look after James while I work. We could manage.’

I thought regretfully of the money Jon had given me. I had made up my mind not to take any more from him. While I’d believed it was from Paul, I had felt justified in accepting it, but now I couldn’t. Jon owed me nothing. He had already done far more than I could ever have expected.

Mother looked at me thoughtfully. I could see something in her eyes, some hesitation. ‘Yes, we could go whenever we liked,’ she said. ‘But we must have one last search for those gold coins, Emma. You’ve been too tired to bother much lately – but I’m sure they are here somewhere. And they belong to you. Why should we leave them for Richard – or a stranger if he sells? And you would have to sign or he’d never leave you in peace.’

‘They belong to us, Mum. You deserve them as much as anyone.’ I smiled at her as my son began to whimper. ‘Give him to me, will you?’

She reached into the cot, placing the child in my arms. Her expression was a little odd as she looked at me. ‘All I want is for you to be secure and happy,’ she said. ‘It doesn’t matter about me. It was always for you – always for you, Emma.’

She watched for a few moments, then turned and went out, leaving me to nurse my son.

What had she done for my sake? She had expected Father to leave me most of his property – but would she have killed for my sake?

I prayed that she had not. Father had been harsh to us both, but I believed in my heart that he had cared for me in his way – and perhaps he had once loved my mother. Jealousy and endless quarrels had turned that love to hatred over the years. And some of the blame for that must lie with my mother.

Had she punished him at the end for his harsh treatment of her by putting something in his food? I recalled the fear in her eyes when she’d realized he might be dying.

‘I never wanted him to die, Emma.’

I had wondered at her fear then, but now I thought I understood. It was possible that she had tried to make him ill – so that he wouldn’t have such a hold over us. Yet I did not believe she would deliberately kill.

Not my mother. Not Gran. It would be too horrible. A wicked evil crime – committed to protect me …

I lay thinking about it for a while, then I slept. When I woke it was to laugh at myself and my foolish imagination. Gran had played a silly joke on Richard, that was all.

The room smelt of flowers. There was a vase of early daffodils on the dressing table, and a small jug of snowdrops by my bed.

As I stared at them, thinking of the message of hope and reborn life such flowers always gave, the door opened and Richard entered. I was surprised to see that he was wearing his best suit and his hair was slicked down with oil. He gave me a sheepish look as he apologized.

‘I bought you some flowers,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry, Emma. I shouldn’t have hit you like that – and I shouldn’t have said those things.’ He took some money from his pocket and laid it on the table beside the bed. ‘I’ve spent a few pounds – but that’s your money.’

‘Thank you. I’ll use some of it to order stock we need,’ I said, knowing I had to meet him halfway. I didn’t want this marriage, I wanted to be free – but Richard would never give me a divorce. ‘Why can’t we at least try to get on? I don’t mind that Father left the shop to you – but I can’t run the business properly if you take all the money. And that means it will eventually run out.’

‘I’ll do better,’ he promised, obviously subdued. ‘I never meant it to be this way. I’m a devil with the drink in me, always was. Me ma said I’d end up bad – just like my father.’

‘What happened to him?’

‘He died drunk in a ditch. Ma had him buried on the parish. She said he was worthless, and that I was like him.’

‘Sometimes you are,’ I said, meeting his eyes steadily. ‘But we might have been all right together if you hadn’t started to get drunk all the time.’

‘I could try again,’ he said, looking shamefaced. ‘You look after the money, Emma. Run the shop the way you want. I’ll stick to my wages – and I’ll try to keep sober.’

‘If you do that, Richard, we’ll manage.’

His hand moved towards me, then fell back. ‘Jealousy is a terrible thing, Emma. It drives a man mad.’

‘Yes, I know that, Richard. But you have no need to be jealous of Paul. It was just a young girl’s foolishness, that’s all. All I want now is a proper life – the way you promised it would be.’

‘What about the money his cousin has been sending you?’

‘I’m going to tell him not to send it anymore.’

Richard nodded, accepting my word.

‘We’ll go out, once you’re well enough,’ he said. ‘To the pictures and dances, like we did at the start.’

‘And you must promise not to hate James. Promise me you will be all right with him, Richard?’

‘Aye, I’ll try,’ he said and turned away. Then he looked back at me. ‘I’m going out to see a friend. I shan’t get drunk. I promise you, Emma.’

‘I don’t expect you to be a saint, Richard – just a man I can respect. Let’s try to be good to each other – please?’

He nodded, but didn’t speak again before he left. I was thoughtful as I lay back against the pillows. What had brought about this change of heart – surely not that foolish curse? Richard couldn’t really believe Gran had the power to make him ill – could he?

Perhaps I’d been right all the time. He had been jealous of Paul’s child growing in my womb. And maybe, if we both tried very hard, we might just manage to salve something from the wreck of our marriage.

The doctor wouldn’t let me go back to work for two weeks after the birth. Mother and Ben shared the shop work between them, and Gran came to see me every other day.

I told her Richard had apologized, and that we had agreed to try again.

‘That’s right, lass.’ She grinned at me. ‘It’s wonderful what a bit of a fright will do sometimes.’

It was obvious Gran thought Richard’s transformation was a great joke. In a way it was amusing, because the change was so marked. Although a little awkward and subdued, he was trying very hard to please me. He had brought more flowers and fruit from the market, even a fancy cake from the baker’s down the road.

I smiled and thanked him, yet I was conscious of a deep sadness. If he had been like this all the time, we might have had a good marriage by now – instead of pretending.

I would never be able to trust Richard again, not deep down in my heart – nor could I love him. He was trying very hard, but suspicion lay just beneath the surface. I sensed it was just a matter of time until it all started to crumble.

Three weeks after the birth of my son, I was in the shop putting out boxes of cigars and jars of sweets that had just come in. Ben had gone to have a cup of tea upstairs with my mother when the doorbell went and someone came in. I turned to see Sheila Tomms standing at the counter.

‘How are you, Emma?’

‘I’m fine,’ I said. ‘You haven’t been in since I started back in the shop.’

‘No …’ She glanced up at the shelves. ‘Oh, good, you’ve got my favourite toffee pieces in again. Sorry I haven’t been to see you, I’ve been busy.’ She laid a little parcel on the counter. ‘I’ve knitted a bonnet and booties for you.’

‘Oh, that’s nice of you,’ I said, unwrapping them. ‘They’re lovely, Sheila. Thank you.’

‘I’m getting married next week. I’ve come to invite you and Mrs Robinson – and Richard, of course. If he wants to come.’

‘Oh, that’s lovely,’ I said. ‘I’m sure Mum would like to come. I’ll ask Richard what shift he’s on – but I shall come anyway.’

She looked at me oddly. ‘I haven’t seen Richard in the pub so much recently. Are things better between you two now?’

‘Yes.’ I turned away to weigh her sweets as I told the lie. ‘We get on all right.’

‘I’ve wanted to tell you, Emma …’

‘Yes?’ I waited as she hesitated, looking uncomfortable. ‘What is it – something I ought to know?’

‘You’ll probably hate me for it.’

‘No, I shan’t. Is it about Richard?’

‘You know …’ She bit her lip. ‘Or are you just guessing?’

‘There was something between you and him once – am I right?’

She nodded, her gaze dropping. ‘I’m not telling you to be vindictive. It’s just that I heard he was rotten to you – hit you before the baby was born. But if you’re getting on better—’

‘You might as well tell me now you’ve started. It won’t spoil anything. I’m not in love with him. I never have been.’

‘The baby – the one I’d thought of aborting?’ I nodded and she frowned. ‘It was Richard’s. I’d been seeing him for a while – until he started talking to your father in the pub and got grand ideas. I knew he wouldn’t marry me, but I threatened to tell you if he didn’t pay for the abortion. He went mad, hit me several times. That’s why I cleared off out of it.’

‘Yes. I thought it might be something like that.’

‘Did he tell you?’

‘No – but he was very angry about you. I knew there had to be a reason. And you’d told me why you went away. I knew you thought you were having a baby, and I sort of thought it might be Richard’s.’

Sheila hesitated again. ‘Do you remember that girl they found in the river – the one people thought might be me?’

‘Yes.’ I was puzzled. ‘What about her?’

‘I saw a picture of her in the paper. She looked a bit like me – or she would in the dark. She could have been mistaken for me. It just made me think …’

‘I remember everyone thought she was you at first.’ I felt a coldness at the nape of my neck. ‘You don’t think …?’