Eminent Love (12 page)

“Come on, let’s get your stuff upstairs.” I grabbed her hand and led her inside.

Once we made it to the bedroom, I closed the door behind us and set her bag down next to the dresser. The guestroom wasn’t as extravagant as the master suite, but it was still twice the size of mine, complete with a whirlpool tub in the connecting bathroom.

“So I’m staying in here?” She fidgeted with the zipper on the front of her jacket.

I closed the distance between us and helped her out of her coat before hanging it on a hook on the door. “Yes. My mom says you must sleep here…so here you must sleep.”

“Yeah, my parents would’ve probably done the same. I guess I should’ve expected it. I mean, it’s kinda disrespectful to your parents if we sleep together in their house.”

“My dad didn’t say anything about us sleeping in separate rooms. All he said was you had to sleep in here.” I stood in front of her and gently held onto her hips while observing the nervousness in her expression. “He never once said I had to sleep in my own room.”

“Because I think it’s implied you’d sleep in your room, Creed.”

I pulled her body flush with mine. “Do you not want to sleep next to me?”

“Of course I do,” she said with a rush of air. “But what if they come in here and catch you in bed with me?”

“Layne…they won’t come into your room. They don’t even come into mine.” I kissed her forehead and then reached down to grab her bag. “Go into the bathroom and change your clothes. I’ll be in bed waiting for you.”

“I just got here. And it’s New Year’s Eve. Why are we going to bed so early when you have a houseful of people downstairs?”

“You’re tired. It’s written all over your face. We can go downstairs and talk to a bunch of strangers, or we can get in bed—where it’s warm—and talk to each other until you fall asleep. It’s up to you, but my vote is staying up here alone. I missed you.”

I could tell she wanted to say something else, but instead, she took the bag, went to the bathroom, and closed the door behind her. I knew it was rude of me to keep her up here after she’d made the trip down, but I didn’t want to share her. After almost a week with only phone calls, I wanted her all to myself.

By the time Layne came out in a modest, two-piece flannel pajama set, I was already in the bed beneath the covers. She climbed in on the other side and crawled to the middle where she curled up next to me. As soon as I had her in my arms, it was like my body completely calmed. At peace.

“Did you drive here?”

“No.” She sounded so sleepy, worse than she had before she changed her clothes. “A friend from school drove me. Her boyfriend lives about thirty minutes away and she offered to bring me. I was supposed to be here earlier, but she wasn’t ready to leave when I was. And then she wanted to go to her boyfriend’s place first. I didn’t think I’d get here in time.”

I propped myself up on my elbow and pulled her closer until my face hovered above hers. “I’m just happy you’re here.”

When I leaned down to take her lips with mine, it was only supposed to be a quick kiss. I hadn’t expected her to lock her fingers behind my neck and keep me there. I don’t even think she expected to moan into my mouth. And before we knew it, my body completely covered hers. My quick kiss heated up and left us burning with untamed desires.

Logically, I knew I should’ve pulled away. I should’ve climbed off her until we both calmed down. But the way she moaned, the way her hands ran over my shoulders to my chest, cleared my mind of any logic.

And then she lifted her butt and grinded herself against my rock-hard erection.

It wiped out every single thought that didn’t include getting her naked.

Normally, she would’ve slowed down when my fingers met the skin on her stomach, but instead, she pushed into me again. I gripped her hip, digging my fingers into her soft skin, and thrust my pelvis forward until my hard-on pressed firmly against her. We’d never gotten this far, and it should’ve made her stop me, but it didn’t. She fisted the material of my shirt at my chest and pulled me impossibly closer.

My fingers returned to her bare abdomen and skimmed the warm skin until I had her breast cupped firmly in my hand. I’d done this before, but over her shirt—never beneath it. Instead of freezing, turning rigid beneath me, she arched into me, pushing her chest against my hand. When I ran my thumb over her hardening nipple, she released another desperate moan.

And I couldn’t hold back any longer.

I pulled away, earning a panting gasp from her, and deftly unbuttoned her top until her entire chest was completely bared to me. I didn’t waste a second before closing my lips around her taut nipple and attending to the other with my free hand. Layne writhed beneath me. Breathy moans rolled past her lips, consuming the air around us until it became the soundtrack to our moment together.

She gripped my shirt and pulled it over my head. It was hurried and frantic, showing her desperation. Desperation unlike I’d ever seen erupting from her before. But I didn’t question it. I pressed my bare chest against the warmth of hers and possessed her mouth once more. The tips of my fingers skimmed along the sides of her breast to her hip. I barely touched her skin, but it was enough to leave her rolling her hips against me. As soon as I dipped my fingers beneath the waistband of her pajama bottoms, ready to pull them off her, she pressed her hands into my shoulders and held me at bay a few inches.

“The door…” Her words were breathless, airy, almost panicky. “Is it locked?”

I glanced from her wide eyes to the closed door over my shoulder. A dense cloud settled over me, and I found myself lost over what to do. She didn’t want me to stop, only to lock the door, but I knew what would happen if I did what she wanted. We wouldn’t stop. She’d let me take her, and I wouldn’t have the strength—or desire—to say no. I turned around and peered intently into her eyes, begging her with my own to let me see the truth. I needed to know the honest thoughts running through her head. Not the ones clouded by lust or controlled by raging hormones. I didn’t trust myself enough to make this decision alone. Nor did I trust her to make the right one with the weight of desire overshadowing her rational thought process.

My chest heaved wildly as I stared into her steady gaze. She appeared confident, in control, sure of what she wanted. I, on the other hand, couldn’t have been more insecure, indecisive, or confused if I tried. I knew what I wanted, but being the one to inflict pain on her was a terrifying thought. Instead of filling the space with words and risking breaking the spell, I decided to wait her out.

When she locked her fingers behind my neck and brushed her lips slowly against mine, I melded into her. Any doubt I had over her not being ready vanished when she whispered, “Lock the door, Creed.”

I pulled my lips from hers, took one more glance into the shining pools of blue, and climbed from the bed. My heartbeat pounded in my ears with every step I made toward the door. My nervousness made no sense to me. It wasn’t like I’d never had sex before. This wouldn’t be my first time.

But it was
Layne’s
first time.

And she’d chosen to give her innocence to
me
.

Although I’d had sex before, I’d never taken anyone’s virginity. Even my first time had been with someone more experienced. I could use logic and assume what to expect, but I had no personal knowledge of it. I knew it’d be uncomfortable for Layne. And I didn’t want that. I never wanted to cause her any discomfort. It’s one of the reasons I never got carried away with her—aside from never wanting to pressure her. I knew this day would come, and the longer we went on, the more in love with her I became, the harder it was to accept being the one to inflect pain on her.

I flipped the lock on the handle and waited a moment, taking in deep breaths with the bed behind me. I needed to pull myself together. The mattress creaked, and the sound was enough to break through my hesitation. I turned to face her, expecting her to be where I left her, but I found her standing next to the bed. Her top had fallen off her arms, and she stood in front of the nightstand in nothing but her long, flannel pajama bottoms. The light on the table casted an ethereal glow around her.

She stole my breath away.

I strode across the room to the woman who owned my heart—every part of me. The warmth of her bare skin on mine alleviated the chill in the air and sent a rolling fire through my body. She ran her palms along my chest, over my shoulders, and into the hair on the back of my head.

“If this is too weird for you—being in your parents’ house—we can wait until we return to your apartment. I’m ready, and there is no expiration date on my decision. I told you I wanted to wait for the right time. I didn’t mean it had to be the right date or the right location…just
right
. So whether it be here or two nights from now in your bed, I don’t care. Because I’m absolutely in love with you and can’t fathom not sharing every part of me with you. I have no doubts, Creed.”

M
y body felt heavy
, but my eyes had popped open, ready to move on with my trip. I checked the time, noting I’d only been out for four hours. I needed more rest, but I couldn’t seem to fall back asleep.

The shower helped. My mind had been, stimulated with excitement, although my body hadn’t quite caught up. Not only did the hot water wake me up, but it gave me the chance to relieve the sexual tension my dream of Layne had caused. It only took a few minutes, a few strokes of my hand, to empty myself once I closed my eyes and imagined the way she looked that night.

So peaceful.

So angelic.

That one memory had come to me often in my sleep, and had been the reason for waking up many mornings with aching balls and a throbbing dick. It was just more intense this morning because I knew, somewhere deep in my subconscious mind, I was on my way to see her. And it made it more real than any other time before.

The entire routine of showering, brushing my teeth, and changing my clothes took me less than thirty minutes, and I was out the door.

The clerk at the desk seemed surprised when I stopped in to check out. It was barely midnight and I hadn’t gotten there until after six. It made me wonder how many people stopped in to sleep for only a few hours before leaving again. It may have been a small town, but from what I saw in the few short miles off the interstate, it appeared to be a pretty place to visit.

As I made my way out, I thought about bringing Layne here sometime.

In the parking lot, I noticed a couple getting out of their car. For whatever reason, they caught my attention and I couldn’t turn away. Their license plate showed they were from Florida, and by the way they touched and regarded each other, they appeared to be newlyweds. I imagined they, too, were on a long road trip and had pulled over to sleep for the night.

I took one last glance at them, wondering if they may have been on their honeymoon, and then I got back in my car. It wasn’t like they were the first couple I’d seen together since Layne left, but it made me think I’d been blind to love without her. The idea of not having her in my life left me incapable of noticing the way a man looked at his significant other, or the way she reached out to hold his hand. And now, with the prospect of Layne’s love filling the void in my chest again, it made it easier to appreciate what others had.

It made me even more determined to get it again.

And then the reality of it all came crashing down. I had no idea what I’d find in California. I had no idea how long she’d give me, or how fleeting our moment could be. But I was desperate. I’d take a day, a minute, a second. Even if our time is spent in silence, spent with her hating me, I’d take it. Because at least I could see her one last time. I could capture the image of her in my heart and hold onto it forever.

I hadn’t done that when she left.

Then

I
kissed
the smooth skin beneath her bellybutton as Layne shivered under me, her legs trembling on either side of me. I wanted to slowly make my way up her body, but she wouldn’t give me the time. She locked her hands on both sides of my head and aggressively pulled me up her body until our lips met.

She must’ve tasted herself on me, because she took control and licked the seam of my lips. Subtle moans reverberated through her chest as she ran her fingers through my hair, pulling me closer, even though I couldn’t possibly get nearer.

Her hips tilted. My eager erection met her heat, and I methodically rolled my hips, running my shaft between her folds. Her moans grew slightly louder, but they were quiet enough that the noise from outside would drown her out, even if someone pressed their ear to the bedroom door. Yet I didn’t want to take a chance, so I kept my mouth over hers, swallowing every sound she made as she found release.

Her breathing turned frantic and her thighs clamped around me. I knew she hovered on the verge of another orgasm. Even though she had grown more comfortable with me back at home, I had never seen her get off before tonight. I never went there with her. She hadn’t ever told me not to, but I hadn’t wanted to take the chance. I never wanted to do anything that might’ve caused her to go further before she was ready. So I’d kept my hands to myself.

But not tonight.

Tonight I’d started out strumming her clit like a guitar with my fingers, drawing out her first orgasm. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. And once she came down from that high, I’d made my way between her legs with my lips and tongue. The memory was seared into my brain, and I knew I would replay it in my mind every day. And now, with my shaft sliding against her clit and bringing her to the verge, I pulled my lips from hers so I could peer into her eyes as she fell over the edge again.

She shuddered beneath me and released a breath across my face. A thin gleam of sweat lined her forehead and made her glow. I needed to see her happy and at peace, content and blushing with pleasure, because if we followed through with this, she would more than likely be in pain.

I held still and stared into her eyes, silently seeking permission, waiting for her to tell me to stop. But she never did. Her gaze met mine, and then she gave me a short, yet confident, nod. A full puff of air passed my lips as I shifted to line myself up with her entrance. I never once glanced away or closed my eyes. I kept my focus on her while I settled in place and eased the crown of my dick inside.

I stopped and waited for her to exhale, and used the time to garner my own control. Her smooth heat was almost unbearable; she was so tight, I didn’t think I’d be able to fully penetrate her. The heaving in her chest slowed, but the tremors racking her body intensified. My heart ached for her and I wanted to stop, but she carefully undulated her hips and encouraged me to keep going. I moved my hips a little more, gaining another inch or so until her nails dug into my shoulders.

Her eyes squeezed closed and she sucked in air through gritted teeth. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. But when I pulled away enough to see her entire expression, everything in me turned cold. Discomfort was expected, but she appeared to be in agony. Deep creases accentuated her brow, turning her forehead into valleys of excruciating pain. She clenched her teeth so tightly, the muscles in her jaw flexed wildly. And her face—normally a soft creamy color—had turned fiery red from the way she held her breath.

“I can’t do this to you,” I whispered against her lips.

Her fingernails dug in deeper and her eyes flew open. “No. Don’t stop. I want this, Creed. I want you. Please, just get through it. Stay with me.”

I pressed up on my elbows to square my sight with hers. “I’m not going to just
get through it
, Layne.” My words were harsh as they seeped past my tight lips. “I want to be with you more than I’ve ever wanted anything else in my life, but I refuse to hurt you. This isn’t the way it should be. It shouldn’t be about getting ‘through it’ as if it were some kind of exam.”

A tear appeared out of nowhere and slid down the side of her face before disappearing into her hair. “I know…but there’s no way around it. Once we get through this part, once you’re all the way in, it will get better. I’m not asking you to hurry up and finish. I only want you to push past this part, so we can enjoy the rest.”

I nodded, trusting her against my instinct. I inhaled deeply and lowered my lips to hers. “I love you, Yen.”

“I love you, too, Yang.”

As soon as she seemed to calm down, I trailed my fingers in feather-like strokes along the side of her body from her shoulder to her hip. Her arms and legs began to quiver, but I was sure it had more to do with the way I touched her than anything else. After a moment of worshiping her with my fingertips, I slowly and carefully pulled my hips back, stopping when only the tip of my erection remained inside her. My mouth crashed to hers at the same time I pushed into her.

She gasped against my lips and her fingernails bit into my skin, but I didn’t move away from her. I’d passed her resistance and settled my pelvic bone against hers. Flesh to flesh. Heat against heat.

Her chest pressed against mine with every pant bursting past her lips. I tried to use my hands and mouth to calm her, but nothing seemed to work. I had hurt her, and there was no way to go back and change it. I wanted to make it better. But I couldn’t.

Suddenly, Layne slid her hands from my shoulder blades to my waist and guided me up and away from her. I thought she wanted me to stop, so I slowly started to ease back. I only managed to pull out a few inches before her grip on me tightened, adding resistance to my movement, and then she tried to encourage me to slide back inside her.

Back and forth.

In and out.

Slow and gentle.

And as I studied her face, watched her peer at me through shuttered lashes, I realized something. This may have been her first time, but it was mine as well. It was the first time I’d ever
made love
to someone. I’d always thought the term was ridiculous and for older people especially, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was about emotion, a bond, a connection with someone else. It was sex, but it went beyond the shallow depths of gratification.

It was
our
first time.

Every time I sank fully into her and my pelvic bone met hers, she made a sweet purring sound. I wanted to hear it again and again. So as I moved into her, I made sure to grind against the spot that gave her so much pleasure. The more I rubbed against it, the more she moaned, and the tighter she became inside.

I wouldn’t last.

I was barely holding on.

She whimpered when I lifted myself onto my elbow, adding space between our chests, but once the pad of my thumb covered her swollen clit, my name became a moan on her lips. Her eyes closed and her head burrowed deeply into the pillow. It only took a few circles of my thumb and several thrusts of my hips before she exploded around me. Her already tight grip on my dick clamped down even more, strangling me with her core.

Her jaw slackened around the harsh air escaping her lungs. I waited until she completely released her breath before I gave in. I wanted to be gentle with her, but as my own orgasm took over, my thrusts turned harsh and frenzied. If it’d hurt her, she didn’t once let me know. Instead of flinching or grimacing, she held me tighter until I’d emptied myself and fallen on top of her.

Her fingertips grazed my spine as we lay together, both trying to control our breathing and rapidly beating hearts. I knew I had to get up. I couldn’t stay on top of her forever, but I didn’t want to leave the cocoon of her warmth. By the time she shifted beneath me, I knew I had to move.

I kissed the tip of her nose and gently pulled out. “We need to get cleaned up. Stay right here, I’ll be back.” And then I got off the bed, thankful we’d been in this room instead of mine where the bathroom was down the hall.

My mom had really gone all out when setting this up for Layne. She had lavender scented bath salts next to the tub, and a bottle of lavender bubble bath. I turned on the hot water, assuming it’d help relax Layne, and opted for the salts over the bubbles. My mom had even hung a heavy robe on the back of the door. Pride filled my chest at seeing the care my mother had taken in making my girlfriend feel comfortable. It all came in handy after what we just did—although I’m sure my mom hadn’t anticipated that happening.

After I flushed the condom, I went back to the room and pulled Layne by the hand from the bed. I led her into the bathroom and turned off the water. She let me help her over the ledge of the tub, and then faced me with an easy grin on her lips. “Aren’t you gonna get in?”

My mouth opened and shut without anything coming out. Finally, I shook my head and answered her. “I thought you’d want to relax and soak by yourself. You’re probably sore…and stuff.” I wanted to kick myself for how stupid I sounded. This was Layne, the same girl who comforted me time and time again. Eased my stresses and soothed my soul. Yet I fumbled with words and acted like I’d never been around a girl before.

“Creed,” she called to me in her sweet and gentle tone. “I’m not asking you to have sex with me in the bathtub. I only want to spend more time with you. I can’t very well relax in here if you’re out there.”

The tightness in my chest evaporated and I was finally able to pull in a full inhalation. I climbed over the ledge and slowly eased into the hot water with Layne’s back against my chest. She settled between my bent legs and rested her head against my shoulder.

It instantly became my new favorite way to hold her.

“Have you found a place to live yet?” I asked while running the washcloth over her chest.

“Not yet. My dad is taking us out sometime this week to look at places.”

I didn’t speak for long seconds, letting the silence drift over us. I knew what I wanted to say, but I needed a moment before uttering the words. It wasn’t because I was scared or nervous over her reaction—or possible rejection. I needed a minute because I wanted to commit this exact moment to memory. So many things had changed tonight, and I knew more would come soon. I couldn’t wait for what the future would bring, excited about the next steps we’d take together.