Emerald Fire (Christian Romance) (The Jewel Series) (23 page)

NEARLY
a week later, Maxine sat at her drafting table in her studio, a blank sketch pad in front of her. For the first time in her life, she could not find the inspiration to draw out her feelings. For over a decade, she’d used her gift of art to purge the demons from her mind, a cleansing ritual that worked nearly every time. Now, though, the pencil lay still in her hand and the unblemished page stared back at her, a stark white, mocking blank space.

“Well, God,” she muttered, “I’m here. And I’m trying to be still. But I honestly just don’t know how.” She grabbed her remote control and pushed the button for music. Instantly, the sound of the Newsboys filled her studio. The speakers lining the ceiling flooded the surround sound of a ticker tape parade falling like a million pieces. She had spent a good portion of the last week purging her secular music collection and trying on different bands and different sounds. She loved hard, thumping music, and found herself pleasantly surprised at the different Christian offerings.

A restless feeling had sent her into her studio this morning. This was day three that she had holed up in her apartment. By noon every day, after baking some amazing bread or dessert, or cooking some rich stew that she promptly froze because no one else was around to eat it, she wandered into her studio. Inspiration never came, though, so she found herself going through her paintings and drawings, cataloging them, remembering times she painted them, reminiscing over her life.

She knew one thing. She would not passively allow an annulment. She loved Barry, deeply, truly. She longed to be the wife he deserved, the wife he may not even know he desired. How to go about that, though?

Her mind wandered, and she thought of ways to communicate to him, writing him a letter, sending him an e-mail, showing up at his office. Nothing appealed to her, though. As she thought, her hand moved of its own accord and she very quickly recognized what she drew. Barry’s house. She filled in the bricks, added the trim, drew his Jeep in the driveway. One word went through her mind as she worked. “Home.”

THE
next day, Maxine found herself back in the front pew where she had spent so many hours praying that day not too long ago. Today, she waited for her turn to join Robin and Tony on the chancel stage as they dedicated baby Tony to the Lord. She still found herself waiting for an answer from God about what she should do, but the more time she spent in solitude with Him on her knees in prayer, the more confident she felt that He would answer in His good time.

As pastor called the family, she and Sarah climbed the steps of the chancel stage. As she walked toward Robin and Tony, she was pleasantly surprised to see Derrick and Barry walking toward them from the other side of the chancel. Unlike Robin, Tony had no family. He treated Derrick and Barry like brothers as much as if they had been born to the same mother. The O’Farrell’s, the youth minister of the church and his wife, also joined. They had fostered Tony through his early Christian life, rescuing him from the streets and providing a home for him.

Going through the dedication ceremony, Maxine could not help observing Barry. His face remained very stoic, and she silently prayed that God would take advantage of his presence for this ritual to convict him about his withdrawal from God’s love. He seemed unaffected by any of it and refused even to meet her eyes. After the ceremony, after the family returned to their seats, she watched him leave the sanctuary. Unlike the day of his wife’s funeral, she did not follow him. Instead, she listened to the sermon and felt a door in her heart open up. After the sermon, she found herself joining the wave of people going to the front of the church and fell to her knees before God and felt more doors open and His answer poured into her heart.

MAXINE
rushed home from church, skipping the family lunch. She burst through the door of her apartment and tossed her purse and keys atop the desk next to her phone. Taking her Bible to the couch with her, she sat with her back against the arm and spoke to God. “I know what I think You want, but since I’m a little unschooled at listening to Your voice, I sure would like some confirmation. I hope I’m not doing something wrong by asking. Thank you for answering my prayer. Now, just to be sure, please help me confirm. Thank you.”

She closed her eyes and opened her Bible, then opened her eyes and read at the first passage she saw. She read of Ruth, who mustered up her own courage and went to Boaz. In that moment, Maxine knew that what she felt stirring in her heart had come directly from God.

SIX
o’clock Monday morning, Maxine rang Barry’s doorbell. She waited a few moments and rang it again. And again. Finally, he answered. He wore jogging shorts and a sleeveless shirt. His muscles bulged against his sweaty skin and she knew she’d interrupted his morning workout.

“Hi,” she greeted with a smile.

“Maxi,” he said with a surprised look on his face. He looked past her, to her car in the driveway next to his Jeep, then back at her. “What are you doing here?”

“Freezing, for one.” She stepped forward and he stepped backward until she crossed the threshold and shut the door behind her. “That’s better.” She peeled her red knit cap off and shoved it in the pocket of her gray wool coat. Her gloves followed, then she unbuttoned her coat and slipped it off her shoulders. “Did I interrupt you?”

He looked down at his attire then shrugged. “I was just finishing up.” He turned and started walking away. “I’m not really set up for company right now, Maxi.”

“I’m not exactly company, Barry.”

He nodded with a half shrug. “Care for some tea?”

“I’d prefer coffee,” she said, trailing behind him. She stepped into the large great room, with its huge stone fireplace and plush furniture. The stairwell leading upstairs flowed to her left, and the balcony above revealed three closed doors. Barry continued walking through the room and through a swinging door into the kitchen, and Maxine followed right behind him.

A breakfast nook overlooked a snowy backyard. Stone floors and three walls of windows made the room kind of chilly. The large granite island, the commercial sized gas stove, and the double ovens in the wall made Maxine want to get cooking.

Barry pulled a cup from the cupboard above and filled it with water hot from the kettle on the stove. “I don’t have coffee,” he said. “I have tea. If you want some I’ll be glad to make you some.”

Maxine waved her hand. “No thanks.”

He added a tea bag to the cup and turned to face her fully. She slipped into a bar stool at the island and smiled at him. He stared at her for a moment then said, “Why are you here, Maxi?”

“Well,” she began, excitement bubbling through her chest until she feared it would spill out of her and make her unable to form coherent words. “I’m here because I’m your wife. And as your wife, I should be living with you.”

He stared at her for five long seconds. Finally, he blinked and took a sip of tea. “Really?”

“Really.”

“And what if I say I don’t want you to live here?”

Maxine hopped off the bar stool and came around the island until she stood in front of him. “I’d say that if you didn’t want me here, or anywhere else for that matter, that you’d have moved heaven and earth to get those papers to me to sign. I’d say that I know how I feel.”

She put one hand over his heart, the other hand on his shoulder. She watched his eyes flare at her touch and could see the physical restraint he had to exercise over himself. “I’d say that I love you as a wife should love her husband. That I’ve missed you like you wouldn’t believe these last three weeks, and that I prayed and prayed for God to tell me what to do, and every indication of an answer pointed me to this house and me coming to you. This is where I belong, Barry. Here. With you.”

He put his hands on her shoulders, but didn’t pull her close. Instead, he kept her from stepping any closer. “We can’t be together, Maxine.” he said, but she cut him off.

“We’re already together. We’re married. You haven’t changed that. I don’t want to change it. I want to live as your wife.”

“People will say …”

“People will always say, no matter what. Barry, listen to me.” Despite his resistance, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. She leaned forward until her head lay against his chest and she could hear his heart beat beneath her ear. “We are one. It’s that simple.”

He didn’t wrap his arms around her. He didn’t pull her closer. He didn’t kiss her. He didn’t sweep her away. All of those things she secretly wished he’d do. But he also didn’t push her away, so she took that as a positive sign. She smiled as she stepped away from him. “I have movers coming this afternoon. They’re bringing some things I want from my apartment. Obviously I don’t need a lot of the furniture, but there are some pieces I plan to keep.” He merely raised an eyebrow as he took another sip of his tea. “I’m going to need a key. If you don’t have a spare, please let me borrow yours so I can get a copy made. I’ll be here when you get home from work tonight, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

He stared at her for one heartbeat, then another, then pulled open a drawer. He rooted around until he found a key which he tossed on the counter. “That was Jacqueline’s.”