Emerald Desire (Emerald Trilogy) (10 page)

He walked to the sideboard. With shaking hands, he poured a brandy and downed it in one gulp, still the trembling persisted. He refilled the glass and lifted it high, his eyes seeming to bore through the ceiling to Dera's room. "To you, my wife," he toasted aloud. "May you keep your promise to me or suffer the consequences."

Dera descended the marble staircase with feelings of trepidation. She was mistress of Fairfax Manor, but even the polite nods from the servants did nothing to alleviate the feeling that she was an intruder.

She hadn’t slept well. Thoughts of her husband and their situation crept into her mind. No matter what Avery had done to Quint or the Flannery family, she found it difficult to hate him. She didn't know what she would say to Avery once she saw him, so she decided not to say anything about their wedding night. The silent wound he bore touched her heart.

She found him in the library, his gray head lowered over the ledgers. He looked up when he heard her. She nodded at him, a touch of becoming shyness in the tilt of her head. "I'm sorry to intrude," she said. "I hadn't realized you were busy."

"Nonsense, my dear. This damnable accounting can wait." Getting up, he tossed down his quill and went to meet her at the doorway. He touched her hand to his lips. "You brighten my day, Dera. So far, the morning hasn't gotten off to a tranquil start, but seeing you compensates for the unpleasantness of it."

Dera dimpled prettily and warmed at his compliment. She looked around the room, liking the coziness of the overstuffed chairs and the colorful carpets, but especially admiring the shelves of books.

“
You have a great many books," she commented.

"Yes, quite an adequate selection. Would you care to see?"

"Very much," she breathed. He led her to the shelves so she could peruse the titles for herself. In reverence, she touched the leather covers, almost fearful that they would disintegrate. Not since London had she seen a book that was intended to be read. Mandy had taught her to read and given her a deep love for the printed word, but at Timothy's there were no books to read for enjoyment or knowledge. Only Timothy's account books had kept her mind occupied.

"Have you read a great deal?" Avery asked her.

"Not really, but I did read some as a child. You have the works of Shakespeare!" she voiced her delight.

"A great man of letters. Tell me, which of his works do you prefer?"

"I've read only a few of his plays, but my favorite is Hamlet.”

"How so?"

Dera rushed on without thinking. "Because Hamlet was a handsome prince whose uncle killed his father, usurped the throne, then married the queen, and Hamlet was filled with vengeance…" She stopped short, thinking of Quint, but Avery had no idea that their situations were nearly parallel.

"Do you think such a thing could happen in real life?" he asked her.

She turned and studied the gold leaf covers. "Perhaps," she replied.

“
Dera, you are a delightful surprise. Not only did I marry a beauty, but I find you're a person who is starved for knowledge. Any time you wish, you may use my library."

"Thank you," she answered, but her enthusiasm was quelled by their discussion.

He went to his desk and put the ledgers in the drawer. "I hate fooling with figures. Very boring."

"I always did the books for Uncle Timothy. If you wish, I could help you."

"Nonsense, my dear."

"Really, I would like to."

"Dera." His tone hardened a bit. "You're my wife, and as my wife, I won't allow you to handle any of my business or estate affairs.”

"Oh," she said meekly. "Then may I take over the running of the house?"

"I already have an excellent housekeeper for that."

"What are my duties then?"

“
Duties?" Avery looked blank. "You're to be a dutiful wife and obey me in all things. If I had wanted a clerk to do my books, I'd have hired one. But I married a beautiful and charming young woman to serve as my life's companion. As I told you last night, anything you desire shall be yours. You are to be a beautiful ornament at my side." He rubbed his hand across his brow and lowered his eyes. "Of course, you weren't meant to be a piece of fluff but to bear me sons. However, under the circumstances..." He glanced up. "You do understand?"

"Yes," Dera answered and wondered how she would fill the hours before she was called upon to be an ornament for Avery's arm.

"Fine," he said in relief. "Now go and dress in your warmest cloak. I have a surprise for you."

She did as she was bid, and when she was ready and Avery appareled in his fur lined coat, he led her outside.

"Bitter cold," he remarked and took her elbow to help her over the icy ground, which was just beginning to melt in the weak morning sun.

"Yes," she agreed, but her heart lurched in her chest when she realized where they were headed. The stables. Quint. She didn't think she could endure seeing him so soon after her wedding.

In the semi darkness of the stable, the fragrant smelling hay evoked bittersweet memories. Avery looked around. "Flannery!" he called. In a moment, Quint appeared.

Stubble grew thick on Quint's chin and his coat was a size too small for him. In comparison to Avery's rich and immaculate attire, Quint resembled a beggar, but he still had the power to stir the blood in Dera's veins. She couldn't meet his steady stare.

His stormy gaze swept over her, then rested on Avery. "Aye, my lord?"

"The mare, Flannery."

Quint went to one of the stalls and led out a chestnut colored animal with a tawny mane. The horse stood perfectly still in front of Dera and Avery.

“
For you, my dear. She is a very gentle and docile animal. Call this a belated wedding gift," Avery said.

She didn't trust her voice. "I can't believe this is for me. I've never owned a horse, though I have ridden before." She reached out and stroked the animal's nose. "You're too kind," she said.

She touched Avery with her gratitude. He enjoyed giving her things because she was so unspoiled. "What will you call her?" he asked.

"Darcie is a pleasing name."

Avery addressed Quint. "Whenever my wife wishes to ride, have the horse ready for her."

"Aye, my lord."

Avery touched Dera's arm. "Let's be getting back. This cold is going right through my bones."

She nodded and patted Darcie one last time. She cast a sidelong glance at Quint. He stood by the horse with a surly expression on his face.

"Good day to you, Lady Fairfax," he said, turning his back on her and leading Darcie to her stall.

Avery and Dera returned to the house. He helped her off with her cloak. "Your cheeks look hotter than a blazing hearth, Dera."

She put her hands to her face in an attempt to cool her cheeks, but her hands were also hot. Her whole body felt as if it were on fire. "I chafe easily," she said, but she knew the cold air hadn't caused her condition. It was seeing Quint again and being so near to him. Her heart beat rapidly; her pulses pounded.

"You better rest, lest you become ill," Avery advised with a worried frown.

"Yes, I shall." She left him and went upstairs to the security of her room and noticed a strange woman moving about, putting her clothes in order. "Where's Katie?" Dera asked.

The woman curtsied. "Begging your pardon, ma'am. I'm Anna Morrison. If you're Lady Fairfax, I'm to tend to your wants from now on as your personal maid."

"My husband told me you would be arriving from London. I'm pleased to know you."

"And I you, my lady." Anna straightened, and Dera saw a woman about twenty years older than herself. She was as plain as an uniced cake; her hair was brown and short and streaked with gray in places. Her eyes were kind and Dera instantly liked her.

That night, Anna prepared Dera for bed. She brushed Dera's long hair and fluffed it about her back. "My, but you're a pretty one. Even in London, I never worked for such a beautiful lady."

Dera laughed. "I'm not a lady, Anna. Before Lord Fairfax set his eyes upon me, I was the niece of his overseer.”

Avery knocked on the door and poked his head in. "May I come in?" he asked.

"Of course." Dera dismissed Anna and rose to greet him. She wore a simple blue wrap that enhanced her natural beauty more than any elaborate gown.

“
How do you like your maid?” Avery inquired.

“
She’s nice and quite competent. Thank you for hiring her.”

“
You’re more than welcome.” Silently he reached into the pocket of his dressing gown and withdrew such a dazzling necklace that it almost blinded Dera with its brilliance. “Turn around,” he said and clasped the necklace about her neck.

“
Oh, my lord,” she whispered in disbelief and looked into the mirror. The diamonds lay against the beauty of her fair skin, flashing their cold fire.

“
Happy Christmas, my dear.”

She turned from the mirror. “You’ve given me so much and I’ve given you nothing.”

“
Not true. Your fair self is gift enough. I like to indulge you.”

She went to him and put her hands against his chest to balance herself. She leaned upward and her warm lips touched his. “Thank you, again.”

“
Dera.” His tone was tender, but his eyes belied that sentiment. He pulled her against him and kissed her passionately. A part of her became aroused at the physical contact, and she wrapped her arms around him.

“
If you want me, I’m yours,” she said, surprising herself with the words.

He groaned in anguish and held her tighter. “God knows how much I want you, but I can’t. Wasn’t last night proof enough for you?”

"I'll help you if you tell me what to do."

He hung his head low, a woebegone expression replacing the passion, and loosed his hold on her. He couldn't bear the thought of failing again, of being humiliated once more. Gently, he kissed her forehead. "Sleep well, my dear. I shall see you on the morrow." Releasing her, he left her room and headed for his own, where he took a huge brandy bottle from his bedside and contented himself with drink until blessed oblivion overtook him.

Dera removed the diamond necklace and lay against the cool sheets. She held the stones against the warmth of her body, but they offered only cold comfort. Wanting to help Avery wasn't enough. She realized her predicament. She could do nothing for him. Somehow over the years, a part of him had been destroyed, and she had no idea how to aid him. It saddened her to see him so unhappy.

Her eyelids grew heavy, she drifted into a half sleep. She imagined that Avery stood above her bed, naked and starved with passion, kissing her until the heat of desire overtook her. She pressed against him, aching for fulfillment, for consummation. He lifted his head from her breasts, but Avery's face had disappeared. Quint, with desire shining in his eyes, was now above her. She didn't know where Avery had gone, and she didn't care. Quint moved into her. She felt herself swirling, longing for the inevitable.

A branch blew against the window pane. Her eyes opened, expecting Quint to be with her, but as she sat up, she realized she had been dreaming.

She clutched the diamonds so hard while asleep that their imprint was left on her palm. She placed the necklace on the bedside table and tried to sleep. For the rest of the night she listened to the wind howling outside as she tossed and turned. Her body ached for Quint, her soul suffered. Without Quint, she was incomplete and she doubted if she would ever feel whole again.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The new year brought the first snowfall. To Dera, the estate looked as if it were out of a fairy tale. The entire landscape was swathed in a white counterpane of ice, and icicles that hung precariously from the bare tree limbs glistened in the sunlight like shiny daggers.

Avery worked busily in his library and Dera was bored sitting by the fire, counting stitches all morning. She remembered as a child how excited she had been by the first snowfall. She wanted some of that excitement now.