Authors: David Williamson
HELEN
enters.
HELEN
: I don't think I'll ever get tired of this view. Come and have a look. The eighteen-footers have got their spinnakers out.
MIKE
: Colin turned down eighty grand today.
HELEN
: Colin?
MIKE
: I've been hearing stories that he's really down on his luck. Nothing's been happening for him. I get on the phone to LA and convince them he's a top writer, which is bloody hard given his current track record. I call him in, offer him the job and he calls me a harlot.
HELEN
: Why?
MIKE
: Because the story's being relocated to Tennessee.
HELEN
: A story's a story wherever it's set.
MIKE
: Exactly.
HELEN
: I can understand why he might be a bitâ¦
MIKE
: What?
HELEN
: Reluctant to work for you.
MIKE
: I can't.
HELEN
: Now your roles are reversed. It would be a bit hard.
MIKE
: So he throws away eighty grand just to spite me? It's insane.
HELEN
: Any luck with âLesbian Nuns'?
MIKE
: Got it through last week.
HELEN
: You didn't tell me. Did you have to change the script much?
MIKE
: A bit. Only one of the nuns is allowed to be lesbian, and it's got to be a tendency. Not consummated.
HELEN
: Mike, that's crazy. Isn't the whole point of the story that there are a
lot
of lesbian nuns and they're suffering a hell of a lot of guilt?
MIKE
: Honey, you sit at my desk day after day and try and get any film through the American system and you'll realise that what I've done is a bloody miracle.
HELEN
: Can't they show the
truth
of anything just for once?
MIKE
: Jesus, honey. We get enough truth in our lives. We don't want it up there again on our screens.
HELEN
: I know the commercial logic, but occasionally I'd like to see the truth!
MIKE
: The only truth that matters in this situation is that they have the money and if they ask me to change nuns into astronauts and lesbians into doughnuts, I will make them a movie about astronauts eating doughnuts. They ask. I give. It's called commerce; it's grubby, and it's how I paid for this view. If you don't like it, well go back to Dri-Tot Manor.
HELEN
: I just can't believe people wouldn't be interested in a movie about the
real
situation.
MIKE
: They probably would, but the men who have the money don't
believe
they would. And that, I'm afraid, is an end to it.
MIKE
and
HELEN
exit.
COLIN
enters and sits reading. The doorbell rings.
COLIN
frowns and goes to get it. It's
KATE
with a suitcase.
COLIN
embraces her with passion.
KATE
: Kids in bed?
COLIN
: [
nodding
] Even Penny. Sorry you didn't win.
KATE
: I knew we wouldn't. Still. [
She shrugs
.] That was a warm welcome. I'm surprised.
COLIN
: So am I. I was planning to be cold and distant.
KATE
: Bad time while I was gone?
COLIN
: Awful. Shopping without lists is a major trauma, and our daughter's been a monster.
KATE
: You said on the phone she had a new boyfriend.
COLIN
: Yes.
KATE
: He goes to an ordinary high school?
COLIN
: Yes.
KATE
: That should make you pleased.
COLIN
: He was kicked out of his private school for selling dope in the toilets.
KATE
: She told you this?
COLIN
: No, I listen to the phone calls on the extension. How was the Dorchester?
KATE
: Overrated.
COLIN
: And the garden gnome?
KATE
: [
embarrassed
] Oh, I, er, didn't see much of him. He found himself a native.
COLIN
: Black lady?
KATE
: English rose. How's work?
COLIN
: On to the second draft of the screenplay. No money in sight.
KATE
: Tell me something cheerful.
COLIN
: I'm very glad to see you home.
KATE
: [
to the audience
] And I was very glad to be home. Ian didn't find an English rose. He found me, but what Colin doesn't know won't hurt him. I'd been promoted, I'd been unfaithful, and the marriage was back on an even keel.
COLIN
: I did some thinking about the future while you were away. Did you?
KATE
: [
guiltily
] Ah. No. It was all a bit frantic.
COLIN
: I thought we should go back to Melbourne.
KATE
: Melbourne? But Colinâ
COLIN
: [
interrupting
] But then I changed my mind. Do you know what made me change my mind?
KATE
: What?
COLIN
: I was waiting for a taxi in the city and there were two derelicts asleep on benches. A City Mission van drove up and a young guy went across and talked to them without any hint of judgement, and took them somewhere safe and warm.
KATE
: How does that relate to Melbourne?
COLIN
: That young guy doesn't dream of waterfront mansions. He gets a couple of hundred dollars a week, a handful of people know that he's a good human being, and as far as he's concerned, that's enough.
KATE
: What are you telling me, Colin? You're going to work for the City Mission.
COLIN
: No. I'm not as good a human being as he is, and after the film deal you did on
Black Rage
, neither are you. The incident reminded me of something Elaine said. Don't blame the city. The demons are in us.
KATE
: So we're going to stay in Sydney?
COLIN
: Yes.
KATE
: [
drily
] Good. Now that we've settled our future, and you've established that we're both evil, do you think we could go to bed?
KATE
exits.
COLIN
stands by himself. Cocktail chatter is heard in the background.
MIKE
enters and walks up to him.
MIKE
: Finally got that film of yours up.
COLIN
: Yes, we did.
MIKE
: How were the reviews?
COLIN
: Very good. Excellent.
MIKE
: I only saw the one in the
Herald
.
COLIN
: That was the only bad one.
MIKE
: Pity. That would've been the most important one for you.
COLIN
: Not really.
MIKE
: Meant to catch it. Didn't seem to be around long.
COLIN
: It did eight weeks.
MIKE
: Eight?
COLIN
: If I'd wanted to run for a year I'd've written
ET
.
MIKE
: Won't be much return for the investors.
COLIN
: We're hoping for an overseas sale.
MIKE
: Wish you luck.
COLIN
: The American reviewers seemed a bit cool to
Sister Nun
.
MIKE
: Crying all the way to the bank. Had a six-million US presale.
COLIN
: I read that you're cutting back on production.
MIKE
: [
swallowing a tablet
] It's been tougher than we expected, but we're getting there.
COLIN
: No plans for
Black Rage?
MIKE
: We've put that one on the back burner. Poor black kid making it is big news here, but it happens every day over there. Be hard for you to get a new movie up now, I suppose?
COLIN
: It's always hard. Having problems with Equity I hear?
MIKE
: Storm in a teacup.
COLIN
: I heard they were axing your next movie unless at least one Australian got a lead role.
MIKE
: They've got their head in the sand. How can I pre-sell our movies to the States with unknown actors in the lead? [
To the audience
] Why does the Film Commission invite him? Everyone in the industry knows his last film was a disaster. Eleven thousand in its first week and it went down from there. He'll be lucky if he ever gets another film up in his life, poor bastard. Can't help feeling sorry for him. I just wish the papers would start employing critics who like what the public like for a change, instead of giving losers like that the good crits.
COLIN
: [
to the audience
] Why does the Commission keep inviting him? If he knew the contempt he was held in by all the people in this room, he'd never show his face around here again. I can't bring myself to hate him anymore. He's a figure of great pathos. The only thing that makes me angry is the money he makes. I don't want to be rich, but it's sad to see the dollars go to turds like that, while
serious
filmmakers beg and scrape.
MIKE
: Take care.
COLIN
: You too.
MIKE
and
COLIN
nod at each other and turn away to face the audience. They stand there shaking their heads, assuming with never a doubt that the audience is on their side. As they share this certainty with the audience, the lights fade.
THE END
Also by David Williamson:
The Indecent Exposure of Anthony East
You've Got to Get on Jack
Celluloid Heroes
The Perfectionist
Sons of Cain
Collected Plays Volume I:
The Coming of Stork
The Removalists
Don's Party
Jugglers Three
What If You Died Tomorrow?
Emerald City
Top Silk
Siren
Money and Friends
Collected Plays Volume II:
The Department
A Handful of Friends
The Club
Travelling North
Brilliant Lies
Sanctuary
Dead White Males
Heretic
Third World Blues
After The Ball
Corporate Vibes
Face to Face
The Great Man
Up for Grabs
A Conversation
Charitable Intent
Soulmates
Flatfoot
Birthrights
Amigos
Operator
Influence
Lotte's Gift
Scarlett O'Hara at the Crimson Parrot
Let The Sunshine
Don Parties On
Rupert
Copyright Details
CURRENCY PLAYS
First published in 1987
by Currency Press Pty Ltd,
PO Box 2287, Strawberry Hills, NSW, 2012, Australia
[email protected]
www.currency.com.au
2014 edition published in 2014 in association with Griffin Theatre Company
First digital edition published in 2014 by Currency Press.
Copyright: © David Williamson, 1987.
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1968
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Any performance or public reading of
Emerald City
is forbidden unless a licence has been received from the author or the author's agent. The purchase of this book in no way gives the purchaser the right to perform the play in public, whether by means of a staged production or a reading. All applications for public performance should be addressed to Cameron's Management, Locked Bag 848, Surry Hills NSW 2010; email:
[email protected]
ePub ISBN: 978-1-925210-12-5
mobi ISBN: 978-1-925210-13-2
Typeset by Dean Nottle for Currency Press.
Cover photograph by Brett Boardman. Cover design by RE:.
Front cover shows Marcus Graham.