Embracing Danger (9 page)

She whirled around to face him. “Trepidation, yes. Fear, no.”

His mouth slowly turned up at the corners. She was damn beautiful when she had a head of steam going.

“I stand corrected.”

She fell back into the seat, one leg crossed over the other, tugging down the waistband of her jeans and exposing a strip of creamy skin on her belly. “I can see right through you, you know. You did that on purpose.”

He hadn’t been trying to hide it but if he wanted to he could have. Quite well, as a matter of fact.

“Yes, but look at you now. Your eyes are sparkling, your skin has flushed pink, and you’re more alive than you’ve been since the night of the party. When I first saw you that night I thought I might have to give you CPR. You’ve been walking through your days half-alive.”

Her smile faded and her gaze dropped to the table between them. “Growing older can be hard on a person. Not all of us live a charmed life, Shane.”

Never in his wildest dreams had he thought of his life as charmed, although he knew he was a lucky son of a bitch to have been born into the Anderson family. Not just because of the wealth but because they were people who truly knew how to love.

“Maybe you’ll tell me about the last several years sometime.”

She lifted her eyes to his, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. “You want to hear about…my marriage…my life? Why?”

Because he was an idiot who couldn’t get enough of her even if it broke his own heart into thousands of pieces.

“Because I care,” he answered simply. “Because talking about it might help. I’m your friend, remember?”

It was better than not having her in his life at all.

She didn’t answer for a long moment. “I doubt you’d be interested but thank you for the offer. I think I’m going to close my eyes and try to take a little nap before we get there. It’s been a long day.”

Shane nodded and Arden reclined the seat and closed her eyes. He ought to do the same but his mind was whirling at a hundred miles per hour. Thoughts of the past and the present collided and visions of the future made his chest hurt. He wasn’t what she wanted and he couldn’t even be a listening board for her. Reminding himself once again that she’d left him, he picked up the newspaper from a side table and began to sightlessly page through it. This trip wasn’t going to be some kind of fairy tale where she miraculously changed her mind and declared her undying love and devotion.

That only happened in movies.

‡

I
t was late
when they arrived at the hotel in Indianapolis. Arden yawned as Shane paid the taxi driver and picked up their bags. She’d given him a token protest but he simply walked by her to the front desk as if she hadn’t spoken. Trailing after him, she couldn’t help but admire his wide shoulders and powerful arms that so effortlessly carried their suitcases.

Within minutes, they had checked in and opened the door to a lovely suite on one of the upper floors. Shane dropped the luggage off to the side and shrugged off his jacket while her eyes zeroed in on the bed. One bed. Her expression must have given her away because he rolled his eyes and walked over to the large windows that overlooked the city.

“Relax. There’s another bed in the loft up there.” Shane pointed to the top of a stairway tucked into the corner of the room. “Do you want to sleep up there or down here? I’m beat and ready to hit the sack.”

Arden attempted to act nonchalant, leaning against the bar. “Of course there is. I knew that.”

He was openly laughing at her and she didn’t think her next action completely through. Pulling her paperback from her purse, she launched it at his head. His quick reflexes allowed him to easily duck the projectile and it fell harmlessly to the floor after hitting the wall and bouncing off.

She’d only made him grin wider and at that moment he looked so much like the young man she’d fallen in love with. Optimistic and fun, he had a smile that could light up a dark day.

“Now that’s what I like to see, a little fire and spirit. I’ll take the bed upstairs. There’s a small bathroom up there as well so this one is all yours. Night, Arden.”

Grabbing his suitcase, Shane took the stairs two at a time and disappeared up in the loft area. She stood there for a few moments and listened to the sounds he made – unzipping his suitcase, kicking off his shoes, and then the sound of water running in the shower.

Gulping, Arden quickly turned away and dragged her own bag over to the bed, determined not to think about Shane taking a shower.

Naked. Soapy.

She smacked her forehead and groaned, saying a silent curse that Shane Anderson still had the ability to get her all hot and bothered. She’d been married and yet here she was acting like a teenage virgin getting her first look at a man’s bare body.

And what a body it was.

She remembered quite well how he’d looked like a Greek god then and probably ten times better now. He’d filled out some and the way his muscles moved and bunched under his shirt had her fanning her face. She was burning up at the mere thought of Shane taking a freaking shower. She’d passed sad and was all the way to pathetic. It would be even more humiliating if he ever found out how long it had been since she’d been intimate with a man or even worse, how many times she’d fantasized about him over the years.

Shaking her head in self-disgust, she retrieved her pajama shorts and a t-shirt from her suitcase and headed for the bathroom. Ten minutes later she was tucked up in bed, her teeth clean and her body exhausted. Up early for school this morning, she’d had a long day and despite everything she’d learned this week she easily fell asleep.

It was the thunder that woke her up a few hours later and she sat straight up in bed, the air knocked from her lungs. She reminded herself to breathe as she crawled across the mattress and reached over to the heavy drapes to tug them aside. A flash of jagged lightning lit the sky, blinding her for a moment and then another loud rumble of thunder had her scrambling back under the covers. She hated storms and had never been able to get used to the sound and fury.

“It’s a real doozy, isn’t it?” She hadn’t heard Shane’s soft footsteps come down the stairs, but he was suddenly standing right next to her bed wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. Holy moly, did he look amazing. Time had not only been kind to Shane, it had been downright generous. He was gorgeous. “Are you okay, princess?”

The lightning illuminated his form, throwing shadows over the dips and planes of his muscular body. She sucked in oxygen as she shook her muddled head, trying to find the ability to form words and sentences. She was a complete mess and it wasn’t just the storm that had put her in this state.

“I’m fine. I’m okay.”

Her voice came out squeaky and she heard his snort of disbelief. “You’re a terrible liar and always have been. Do you want me to turn the television on or something? It might drown out the thunder.”

Obviously he remembered her fear of thunderstorms. They’d once been trapped in the Anderson horse barn for several hours while a storm howled outside. Shane had found a pleasurable way of distracting her but she couldn’t allow that to happen tonight. Not that he’d want to. She’d seen the beauty on his arm the night of the charity party and Arden was well aware she couldn’t begin to compete with a woman as sexy as that.

He didn’t wait for her reply, reaching for the remote on the nightstand and pressing a few buttons. An old black and white movie came on and captured Arden’s attention from the noises outside.
The Thin Man
was one of her favorite films and it was a perfect distraction.

“William Powell and Myrna Loy, huh?” Shane chuckled and set the remote back down on the table. “Good choice. Can I make her ladyship a cup of tea or get her a soda to enjoy while she watches?”

Grabbing a pillow and hugging it to her chest, Arden pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around her legs. If Shane wanted to play the commoner to her royalty she was going to let him. “If there’s a ginger ale in that mini-bar I’d love one.”

The suite had a wet bar in one corner with a small refrigerator to the side that had been fully stocked, according to the woman at the front desk. Sitting back and watching the story unfold, she heard two cans pop open and then Shane rejoined her, sliding her soda on the table next to her.

“Here you go.”

He headed toward the stairs, presumably to go back to bed and that little voice inside of her told her to keep quiet and let him go.

She didn’t listen.

Arden hated storms and she didn’t want to be alone. The fact was now that she was used to seeing Shane she liked having him around. She’d missed him, honestly. They’d been more than lovers, they’d been friends too. He could make her laugh and make her feel safe all at the same time. It had been a long time since she’d felt that way and she craved it whether it was right or not.

“You don’t have to go upstairs. I mean, if you don’t want to. You can watch the movie with me. I know you like this one.”

His steps paused and she waited, holding her breath and questioning her own sanity. Being his friend – just his friend – was harder than she’d ever imagined it would be but she was determined to make it so.

“I guess I could watch it again, at least until the storm dies down.”

For a moment she thought he was going to hop into bed with her and stretch his long frame out on the mattress, but instead he settled onto the loveseat and propped his bare feet on the coffee table. They sat in silence for a long time and Arden was surprised at how comfortable the entire situation felt. There was no awkwardness or wishing she was somewhere else. It was just her and Shane doing something they’d done dozens of times in the past.

“Another?”

A commercial was on and Shane was pointing to her now empty can of soda.

“No, if I drink any more I’ll be up all night for a completely different reason.”

He tossed both of their empties in the trash can and then came to stand by the bed. “I’m going to head up. Are you going to be okay if I do?”

The storm had died down and now there was just rain and wind against the windows. Her fingers played with the corner of the pillow as she fought down the urge to ask him all sorts of questions that were none of her business.

She wanted to know if he’d missed her.

If he ever thought about her.

But she didn’t ask him any of those things. Instead she smiled up at him as if her heart wasn’t twisted in her chest until she almost couldn’t breathe.

“Thank you,” she said simply. “It helped having you here.”

He pulled the drapes closed again, shutting out the lights from the city below. “You should get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow.”

Tears pricked the back of her eyes and she dragged her gaze away so he wouldn’t see. She could never let him know how he still affected her. And if she wasn’t over him after all this time, he probably always would.

“Good night, Shane.”

“Night, Arden. Call me if you need me.”

She didn’t hear his bare feet on the carpeted stairs but she knew that he was in the loft. His scent, clean and citrusy, was fading and she took in a lungful of air to try and hold on to it. She didn’t have much left of him and this was one thing she could have and he’d never know.

Sliding down under the covers, Arden left the television on, its sound soothing to her overwrought nerves. Her lids fluttered closed and she let thoughts of meeting a family she’d never known lull her to sleep and crowd out visions of the man who slept so peacefully upstairs.

So close, but he might as well be on the other side of the planet.

*     *     *

Arden was trying
to fucking kill him.

Shane moved restlessly in bed, throwing the covers off of his overheated body. He was trying so hard to be just a friend to Arden but it wasn’t easy. Even tonight, it had taken all the willpower he had not to slide in bed next to her and pull her into his arms. He wanted to protect her, care for her, and love her. He wanted to be the man she turned to when she needed…anything…everything. But that was never going to happen.