Embracing Danger (26 page)

Shane leaned forward so his palms were flat on the table and he could look into the older woman’s eyes. “I’ll be around. I won’t give up. I’ll be pushing this with every law enforcement official that will talk to me until the day you take your last breath. I’ll get justice for Susannah…and Arden. You stole her mother away from her, and for that you will be held accountable either by a court of law or by the court of public opinion.”

Turning on his heel he also walked out, anxious to get to Arden. She’d confronted the worst and now it was time for her to heal. He’d be there every step of the way, holding her hand and loving her.

‡

T
he numbness that
had been so welcome before had speared its icy tendrils into every pore and cell of Arden’s body to the point she feared she’d never feel anything ever again. She’d expected to be in excruciating emotional pain, but she felt nothing. Nothing at all.

Shane had brought her back to his home and placed her in front of the fireplace, a glass of whiskey in her hand. She’d said little since they’d left her grandmother…no, Elaine Graham. That woman didn’t deserve to be called family or even a human being. She’d callously extinguished her daughter’s life and for that she’d lost the right to belong.

Kneeling next to her, Shane stroked her hair and cheek, although in her state she could barely feel his fingers. “You’re going to be okay, baby girl. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but one day. You’ll wake up one morning and suddenly things won’t looks so bad and you’ll find that you’re happy. You’ll want to make plans for the future and you won’t think about the past so much. I know that seems far away but it will happen, and sooner than you think.”

She couldn’t picture such a day but she trusted Shane to speak the truth. The fact was she was more concerned about this moment than some future she couldn’t picture. Because right now it felt as if she could go a few rounds with a boxing champion and never feel a scratch, bruise, or broken bone. It was like she’d taken ten times too much cold medicine and she was looking at herself from the outside as a spectator, not participating in her life but simply watching it.

Slamming the glass down on a side table, she turned and clutched at Shane’s shirt, the material crumpling in her grip. “Kiss me.”

Confusion flickered over his features but he did as she asked, pressing his warm lips to her cold ones and letting his tongue trace her lower lip before giving it a nibble.

She felt nothing.

“Harder. More.”

Jerking him closer, their lips met again and she ground her body against his in an effort to create some sensation, whether unpleasant or pleasurable. At this point, she didn’t much care which.

She bit down on his tongue and he groaned, pushing her back to the rug, his muscled body covering hers. Her nails dug into his shoulders and she wrapped her jean clad legs around his waist to keep his weight pressing her into the floor.

Shane’s lips wandered over her jaw and down her neck, stopping to nip at a spot on her shoulder before soothing it with his tongue. She moaned in delight, welcoming the sensation of pain and then pleasure, her arousal quickly building.

Reaching down, she clawed at the fastening of his jeans, desperate to pull them off and have him inside of her. He sat back on his knees and covered her hands with his own, his expression puzzled and concerned.

“We’ll get there. Slow down.”

He didn’t understand. She tugged again at his shirt, ripping at the buttons until they flew across the room and skittered on the hardwood flooring. His bare and tanned chest called to the baser instincts driving her and she licked a line from his sternum down to his bellybutton, eliciting a groan from somewhere deep inside of him.

“I can’t wait.” She looked up at him, hoping he could see the need in her eyes. “Don’t make me beg and don’t tease. I feel so numb and only you can make me feel something. Take me now, fast and hard. I don’t want you to be gentle. Please.”

Understanding flooded his gaze and he nodded as his fingers insinuated themselves between sweater and skin. The heat from his palm seared her flesh and she welcomed it, pressing herself even closer and reveling in the white hot flames that seemed to lick along her veins, melting the frost that surrounded her heart.

He stripped her shirt and then her jeans before tugging at his own clothing. She didn’t wait for him to add her bra and panties to the ever-growing pile of clothes on the floor, pulling them off and tossing the unwanted barriers away. She couldn’t wait to be skin to skin with Shane, his hard body as close to her as possible.

Cursing, Shane managed to extricate himself from his socks and Arden didn’t waste a second. She flew at him, shoving him onto his back and attacking his nipples with her mouth and tongue, drawing a ragged moan from his lips. His grip tightened on her hips and she wriggled her bottom in approval as she straddled his thighs, his already hard shaft pressing against her wet slit. She rubbed herself against him before reaching down and wrapping her fingers around his length.

“Wait, baby.” His hands stayed her movements, his brow wrinkled in thought. Thinking was way overrated at a moment like this. “Don’t we…I mean…shouldn’t we…play a bit?”

He was hot, hard, and ready, pulsing with every beat of his heart and she was impatient and dying to feel him inside of her. Foreplay? Unneeded and undesired.

“No time,” she replied calmly, levering up on her knees before lowering down slowly, his impressive girth stretching her walls almost painfully. In truth, she could have used a little foreplay but she’d wanted this. It wasn’t hurting but it was uncomfortable and she whimpered as she took the last inch, completely and totally full. “Need you now.”

His grip on her bottom wouldn’t allow her to move until his impalement was much more pleasurable. Her desire to move overtook rational thought and she leaned forward, her palms splayed on his rock hard chest. “Hard. Rough. Make me feel it. I want to be thinking about this tomorrow.”

For a moment, she thought he might deny her but then he nodded, his fingers sliding up her spine and around her ribcage to cup her breasts, his thumbs rubbing back and forth over the hard tips. “Take what you need. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Because he loved her and she loved him she was confident that he would never truly hurt her. His protective instincts were in full swing and she could feel him holding back as she rose up and then slammed back down, letting her swollen clit rub against his groin. It sent a streak of lightning up her spine and down her legs and she did it again and again, throwing her head back and moaning Shane’s name until she was hoarse and dangling on the edge of the cliff.

Bracing her hands on his chest, she gyrated her hips in a circle so that he hit every sensitive spot inside of her, raising her arousal into the clouds. His fingers plucked at the pebbled tips of her breasts, giving them a rough pinch every now and then. Her toes curled at the bite of pain with her pleasure and she urged him on wordlessly by arching her back in silent offering.

Sweat trickled down her back and her thighs burned and ached as she rode Shane, desperate to find her release. How this man read her mind she didn’t know, but he must have. Reaching between their bodies, he found the sensitive button, pressing and rubbing with his thumb until the tight coil in her belly unwound and pleasure exploded, humming through every atom of her being.

Shane found his own completion, his rough hands tangling in her hair when she collapsed on his chest. He folded her into his arms, stroking her back soothingly and whispering silly, loving words.

As the pleasure ebbed away, she realized they’d been successful. The numbness that had dogged her for days had receded and the pain she’d expected was beginning to grow and expand. Holding onto Shane, she closed her eyes and pressed her head to his chest. He would keep the bogeyman away, at least for now.

But hiding behind Shane wouldn’t solve this.

She had to face it head on.

*     *     *

“Are you hungry?”
Shane asked as they stretched out on the couch to watch some television later that evening. “I think I have some ice cream if you’re in the mood for dessert.”

Arden shook her head and burrowed farther into his chest. “I’m full. And tired. Maybe I should go home so you can get a good night’s sleep. I know you have to go into the office tomorrow. I’m sure they’re missing you.”

“I was able to keep up with things,” Shane shrugged, flipping through the channels until he found the weather. “I am beat and as soon as I see what the weather is going to be then we can hit the sack. Notice I said we. You’re not going anywhere. We sleep together now.”

The tension in her shoulders would have been imperceptible to anyone but Shane. He knew her too well and this wasn’t going to be something he liked.

“I’ll spend the night then.”

The silence hung heavy around them. So much was unsaid and his frustration grew as she continued to stay quiet.

“You can talk to me.”

Her fingers stroked his bicep through the cotton of his shirt and he heard her exhale on a sigh, her breath warm on his skin. “You’re going to be angry.”

Shane struggled to sit up, dislodging her from her comfortable position so he could look her in the eye. Her gaze was downcast as if the pattern on the sofa cushions was the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen, and Shane crooked a finger and placed it under her chin, lifting her face so she was forced to look at him.

“I might be mad or might not. Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?”

Pulling her knees up to her chest, she wrapped her arms around her legs, hugging them close, possibly to feel protected or perhaps to shut him out. Neither one was good as he didn’t want to think she felt threatened by his closeness nor that she wanted to be alone. “I’m leaving in the morning. I’m going back to Chicago. I want to get to know my father…David. I think it’s the right thing to do.”

Shane stood, his hands tightening into fists. He couldn’t lose his temper or beg her to stay. Neither reaction would make him look sane or convince her not to go. He needed to stay calm and reserved, making his case with logic, not emotion.

“Then I’ll have them gas up the jet and go with you. I can work remotely just as I have been.”

He knew her answer before she gave it. Her gaze dropped again and her cheeks turned pink. “I think I should go alone.”

He’d been pacing back and forth but he came to a halt. “I thought we were done with being alone. I thought we were a team now.”

Burying her face in her hands, Arden choked down a sob. “We are a team and I do love you. I want you with me all the time but…”

“But what?”

He didn’t care that the words came out terse. His anger was rising and he could feel the heat on the back of his neck.

“I’m a mess.” Arden threw her arms in the air, a groan on her lips. “I’m messed the hell up, Shane, and you know it, so don’t pretend you don’t. My grandmother is a murderer, my father isn’t my father, my mother was shot, and my uncle is my biological dad. Come on and cut me some slack here. I need to find a way to deal with all the shit that’s been thrown at me these last weeks.”

He held up his hands in surrender. He couldn’t argue her point but he could argue her method. “You’re right. You’ve been through the wringer and endured more than any human should have had to since Ben disappeared. But you don’t have to deal with this all by yourself. I can be there for you.”

Her eyes were shiny with tears. “Actually, I do. I need to know that I can stand on my own two feet and kick this in the balls. This is my emotional journey, Shane, not yours. This is my battle to fight and win. I love that you want to help me but this isn’t your war. If I can’t do this on my own then I’m no good for us. I need to come to you strong and independent, not needy and weak. I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt that I’m with you because I want to be. Not because I
need
to be.”

Shane wanted to yell. Scream. Beg. Reason. Anything that would get her to stay or a least allow him to go with her, but that determined little chin was lifted even as a tear slid down her cheek.