Embrace Me At Dawn (45 page)

“
You kept everything?” He’d never thrown out her things in a heartsick rage while wishing her to hell?

He regarded her with solemn blue eyes. “I always hoped you would come home.”

That made her heart swell, her knees go weak. She pressed a tentative hand to his chest. “Do you still feel that way?”

His expression looked unreadable, closed. “I Called to you. You’re having my youngling.”

She shook her head. “You Called to me in desperation, to keep me alive. I’m having your youngling because Morganna willed it. Neither fact means that you want me here.”

Bloody hell, so much had happened between them. Could they ever mend their relationship enough to be happy together again?

He grabbed her fingers and kissed them fiercely. “Do not tell me what I want, Anka. I
know
.”

She worked up the courage to step closer. “There are still obstacles between us. I realize that we didn’t communicate enough when we were previously mated. I allowed my insecurities to silence the truth because I feared losing you. Since then, given all that’s happened with Mathias and Shock…I’m not certain how we put ourselves back together.”

His mouth pursed tightly. “Have you given up on us, then?”

With her clothes still hanging in his closet and her heart still belonging to him? “No. It won’t be easy, but…” A terrible thought occurred to her. “Have you?”

“
I’m angry and hurt that you kept the truth from me. I’m saddened by your insecurities. I never imagined that you felt less than comfortable. I never want you to feel anything but special. Only time will tell if we can truly rebuild the faith we once had. But right now, I’ve no intention of letting you go.”

Relief swept through her. She released a pent-up breath. She’d been more than half afraid that her betrayal would eat away at Lucan’s feelings for her. “Then we’ll get through this together. But now, I must talk to Bram.”

“
Why? The bastard sent you back to Shock and tried to come between us. I’d rather not give him another opportunity.”

Her face softened. “He also asked you to train me so we could spend time together and work out our problems, didn’t he?”

Lucan grumbled. “He’s still the last person either of needs to see now.” He stalked up behind her, blocking her path. “You’re not fighting, Anka. That’s final.”

“
We may not have that choice.” She tore a T-shirt and a pair of jeans from hangers, then ducked under his arm and marched to the dresser to pull out some clean knickers and a bra.

Morganna had given her the special gift of this youngling—for her own purposes, yes. But Anka resolved to protect it at all costs. That meant taking matters into her own hands before someone else took them from her.

Lucan grabbed her arm. “You will not risk our youngling for your revenge.”

Giving up on revenge would be logical. Bind to Lucan, focus on her coming youngling, and put the past behind her—yes. She would try. But if she gave up the vengeance altogether, would she always be bleeding and furious inside? Would she be raw and broken and unable to move forward if she didn’t at least have some hand in bringing Mathias to his knees, the way he’d brought her to hers? What kind of mate would that make her to Lucan? What kind of mother to their precious daughter?

“
That’s not my plan,” she promised.

“
Bollocks! That willful look on your face says otherwise.”

Lucan was worried, and rightfully so. He’d lost everything once, too. Now they both had even more to lose. “I will trust you to take care of us. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

His glower told her that he didn’t like having his words used against him. “Good. Then stay home. I’ll put a protection spell around the house—”

“
Because that worked so brilliantly last time,” she said as she struggled into her clothes. She knew the words would wound him, but the truth mattered more than sparing his feelings, no matter how scathing. “We can’t sit idle, Lucan. This is bigger than what we want. Come with me to talk to Bram, and I’ll explain.”

She exited the bedroom as Lucan was sliding on his jeans and searching for a shirt.

“
Explain it to me now!” he shouted.

If she did, he would only object to her plan. Undermining him wasn’t her objective, and she didn’t want to risk her youngling. But they didn’t have the luxury of sitting idle. And as much as she wished otherwise, Anka wasn’t sure she could face her future before being at peace with her past.

“
Come with me. I swear, I’ll explain there.”

Anka tried to teleport out of the house. Lucan’s magic blocked her.

He smirked. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“
You’re not being reasonable. I have some information about Morganna that Bram and the others must know, and I only want to explain it once.”

“
So you can find some way to get involved. No.”

She drew in a breath, trying to keep a lid on her temper. “I understand your need to protect, but now isn’t the time to behave like a bloody brick wall.” Lucan was doing a damn fine imitation, raising a brow and still refusing to budge. “Right, then. I don’t want to do this without you, but since you won’t even listen, you’re forcing me to go on my own.”

He could magically restrict who teleported in and out of the house. But once outside, he wouldn’t be able to block her. She strode out the bedroom door, toward the front. From the foyer, she spied Caden kissing Sydney in the kitchen.

“
Stop her!” Lucan demanded, hopping into his shoes and carrying his shirt.

Anka didn’t wait to see if little brother followed. Marching outside the house, she emerged into crisp morning air and gray skies that, not surprisingly, portended rain. She stood ready to teleport out when someone grabbed her wrist. She whirled.

Caden glared at her with narrowed eyes. “Let’s get one thing straight. If you break his heart…” Suddenly, he fell silent. His jaw dropped in astonishment. “You’re carrying his youngling?”

“
Indeed. And you’ll do what if I break his heart? Beat me up?”

“
No.” He looked quite cross. “I’m not the sort to hit females. But I will do everything in my power to stop you from leaving now. You and Lucan need to work your differences out. He’s been fucking miserable without you.”

She had heard that Lucan and Caden were quite close now. She wasn’t keen to come between them, especially when Caden had sacrificed so much to care for Lucan these past few months.

Her gaze softened. “I’ve been unhappy without him and I’ve no desire to hurt him. We’ll work it out, I swear. But he must see reason. Get him to Bram’s.” She tugged free of Caden’s hold as Lucan came bounding through the front door.

“
Anka!”

She teleported away before either of them could say another word.

As she emerged onto Bram’s lawn, she threw out her chime. A scant moment later, the barriers eased to admit her. A
whoosh
sounded behind her. She cast a glance over her shoulder. Lucan and Caden were hot on her heels.

“
Anka!” Lucan shouted, his blue eyes pinpoints of fury. She was definitely going to get an earful. “You are
not
fighting.”

“
Not unless I have to,” she tossed back and entered the house, darting for Bram’s office.

The air resounded with Lucan’s and Caden’s magical calling card. They sent it quickly, more than once.

She reached Bram just before he let the brothers in. His head snapped up. In an instant, his eyes widened. “I’ll be bloody damned. You’re—”

“
Expecting a youngling, yes. Lucan knows. I need you to gather everyone and listen to me for ten minutes. If you let Lucan stop me before I’ve explained, I may not be able to help the cause.”

Bram sent her a considering stare. “You can’t help anyway. I’ve put the war over my friends more than once, and Lucan despises me now because of it. If I let you fight pregnant, he’ll bloody kill me. The answer is no.”

“
I know how to release Morganna’s potion—and maybe kill Mathias at the same time.”

Pushing out of his chair, Bram leveled a disbelieving stare at her. “What?”

Lucan’s and Caden’s chimes continued to sound incessantly.

“
Is there a reason you’re not letting them in?” Sabelle called down the stairs.

“
In a minute!” Bram shouted and turned back to her.

“
You heard me,” Anka answered. “Let Lucan and Caden in, then gather the others. I’ll explain.”

He hesitated, shrewd blue eyes dissecting. “All right, then. I’ll give you ten minutes. If I’m not convinced, you’ll go home with Lucan and stay there until the youngling is grown!”

As Bram sent an urgent text to all the warriors, he admitted each who arrived inside the protections surrounding the manor. Lucan and Caden barged in, several others right behind them as Marrok made his way down the stairs, to the office.

“
This is how you trust me to take care of you? Running out and not listening to a bloody word I say?” Lucan’s expression thundered, dark brows slashing over angry blue eyes.

“
I’m only asking that you listen to me.” She placed a hand over his drumming heart. “I have information that everyone needs to know, and I only want to say this once. Please.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw. “You’re not telling everyone about every
thing
, are you?”

Anka bit her lip. She understood Lucan’s reservation about telling a roomful of people about her bloodline. Anyone with a future ax to grind could report her, and she’d be dragged away forever, tortured, then likely killed. But if they were going to save magickind, then her one life couldn’t be more important than all the others.

“
Fuck me!”

At the sound of the familiar, furious bellow, Anka turned. She peered up into familiar sunglasses, taking in Shock’s grim, taut mouth. As he stood in the doorway, glaring, he looked ready to tear apart the mansion’s roof with his bare hands, shingle by shingle.

“
You’re carrying his youngling?”

Even from behind the sunglasses, she saw Shock’s stare was as focused as a laser. He looked stunned…and shattered.

Nerves knotted her stomach. “As you can see.”

He zipped around to find Lucan hovering ever closer.

“
And you Called to her,” Shock said. “But Anka hasn’t spoken the Binding yet?”

“
I haven’t,” she murmured, feeling Shock barge into her head.

There really hadn’t been an opportunity to Bind to Lucan. They needed more time to work through their difficulties and learn to communicate better before they both committed to forever. And she let Shock know it. She owed him the truth.

Lucan curled an arm around her. “But she will.”

“
Children!” Bram whistled, getting everyone’s attention. “Anka has the floor now. No one—and I mean no one”—he glared at Lucan and Shock—“interrupts. Or I’ll throw you out. Go ahead, Anka.”

She stepped into the middle of the circle of warriors and reached deep for her courage.

“
Thank you, Bram. As you all know, we must have three beings to retrieve the potion that will kill Morganna: blood from the lines of both Merlin and Nimue, which we have in Bram and Mathias, and a second generation washerwoman.” A general rumbling of assent rolled around her, and she pressed on. “Our problem has been finding a banshee who is also a mother, correct?”