Embrace, Entice, Emblaze (35 page)

chapter
twenty- nine

“Take care, then, that the light in you not become darkness…”
LUKe 11:35

“Angels!” Steph said, practically bouncing up and down in her

chair. “No way! Wait, this
can’t
be real…”

We were sitting in the food court at the mall. It had been a strategic move on my part, putting her in her comfort zone.

After the trials, whatever it was that had prevented me from

telling Steph and Dad about the whole Grigori thing seemed to

dissipate. Whatever— or whoever— had been interfering with me

had stopped. I had made the choice to tell Steph and hoped it

might help me build up to telling Dad…one day.

At fi rst Steph had laughed. She thought it was some elaborate

joke. It wasn’t until I’d retold the story, in full, several times and fi nally pushed up my sleeves and put my arms on the table that she started taking me seriously. Th e sudden addition of markings on my wrists, which on close inspection proved so inhuman that only Embrace_FinalINT.indd 295

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the extraordinary was acceptable, left her momentarily stunned.

Once she recovered and I swore truth on our very friendship, I sat back and let her mind battle it out between logic, evidence, and trust. I think it was trust that held the winning card, and from there, Steph pretty much took care of the rest of the conversation, asking a million questions and examining my wrist markings in

awe. It was a relief to be with her again and out of the intensity that now surrounded almost every facet of my life. A breath of much-needed ordinariness.

“So, let me get this straight…” she said for the hundredth

time. “You’re part angel and now you have powers and you can

heal
people
?”

“I can only heal Lincoln.” I glanced around the food court. Kids our age were milling around, not a worry in the world. Well, maybe that wasn’t entirely true— being a teenager is tough most of the time— but I was willing to bet not many of them were dealing with my lot.

“Because he’s your destined partner,” Steph continued. When

we’d first sat down, she’d slurped at her iced coffee, attacking the scoop of ice cream bobbing on the top with her straw. But now it sat untouched and Steph leaned forward on the edge of her seat, staring at me with wide, unblinking eyes.

“Yep.”

“Holy crap, Vi! If you’re bullshitting me, you better say now!

You’re telling me you actually went on some mystical quest and

met a good angel and an evil angel?”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that, but sort of…yeah.”

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“Jesus.”

“No. He wasn’t there,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. I

wasn’t sure if I was doing it for her sake or mine. I couldn’t believe she had taken everything so well to this point.

“You’re not going to go all religious on me now, are you? If you tell me you’re joining Sunday school, I don’t think I’m going to cope.”

“Trust me. Church is way down on my list of places to visit.”

“But you
are
going to become a Grigori?”

“It’s already done. It’s a one- way ticket.” I tried to sound on top of it, but Steph could sense my sadness.

“Vi, I can’t believe you’ve been going through all of this on your own. It’s kind of shitty you didn’t tell me sooner, but I get it too.

We’ll work it out. Sure, it’s not your everyday kind of problem, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up your life as you know it.”

“I just can’t pretend that I’m normal, no matter how much I

want to.” I rolled my sleeves down, masking the now permanent

reminder on my wrists. Steph viewed my markings from a cosmetic point of view and thought they were fantastic. They
were
beautiful.

They would be more beautiful if I could take them off, though.

She smiled sympathetically. “You’re still
you
, Vi. I know things must seem crazy right now, but maybe doing normal stuff is exactly what’s going to give you sanity.” Her eyes brightened. “Starting tomorrow night!”

Trust Steph to find a silver lining. “What’s tomorrow night?”

My words dragged with suspicion.

She gave me her best innocent look, which of course meant the

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exact opposite. “You and I are going out. There’s a party at Hades and my brother has spare tickets.” She flipped open her phone and started texting. “I get that things are crazy, but you need to do something fun and forget about all this stuff for a while.”

It didn’t sound like such a bad idea. “Is Jase playing?” I asked.

“Yep, and he promised me he could put some names at the door

if we wanted to go…” Her phone beeped. “And,” she said, reading the message, “it’s all organized: four golden tickets!” She slapped the phone closed.

I let a smile creep onto my face at the idea of a normal wild

night with Steph. “I suppose one night out wouldn’t hurt.”

“Exactly! I’ll call Marcus and see if he can come. Maybe you can bring Phoenix.”

“Oh, yeah…”

I hadn’t actually seen Phoenix for a couple of days. After the

trials and healing Lincoln, I had asked for some breathing space, just to clear my head. It had been good to go into a semi- lockdown at home, to have some time to myself.

“There’s probably something I should tell you about Phoenix.”

“What? Don’t tell me he’s a Grigori too. I’m starting to feel like an outcast!”

“No. Definitely not a Grigori.” How exactly did I say this? “He’s kind of, sort of…an exiled angel,” I said, my voice sliding up an octave with each word.

“WHAT?
Phoenix
is an angel? You’re
dating
an angel?”

“An
exiled
angel,” I corrected.

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It took a few moments of frozen shock before she started again.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. Was he good or evil?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, not fully understanding.

“Ah…hello? I mean, when he was all halo and wings.”

I rolled my eyes at her.

“You know, was he one of the…whatever you called it, light

ones or dark ones or whatever? Which one was he?”

Alarm bells rang as Steph’s words hit home. Exiles were exiles. I mean, once they were on earth, they all kind of went into the same bag, but that didn’t make their pasts count for nothing. Angels of light and dark were very different beings.

“I never asked.” I spoke in a daydream.

“What do you mean,
never
asked
?”

There was a pause before I snapped to. “Of course he was light.

He’s been amazing. Trust me, I’ve met a dark angel and he’s nothing like that. He was an angel of light.” Even as I said it, I could feel the stirrings of doubt. I pushed them aside. “Phoenix isn’t like other exiles anyway; he’s different.” Again, I realized I didn’t know exactly what that meant. “I’ll call him tonight and see if he’s free,” I said, putting a stop to my runaway thoughts.

Steph watched me for a moment, tapping her fingernails on the

table, then blurted out, “Look, I understand why you’re so hurt by Lincoln, but are you sure it’s the right time to get involved with someone else? You might not have ever really
been
in a relationship with Lincoln, but in some ways you two were like an old married couple. You were in love with him— completely.”

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I really didn’t want to have this conversation. It felt like I
couldn’t
have it in a way.

“You’re the one who told me I should be having fun. Anyway,

right now, the main thing I feel for Lincoln is
hate
.” The words had come from my mouth, but it didn’t feel like me talking.

“Wow, Vi, okay, I feel the rage. I get it, Lincoln’s on the shit list, but does that mean that Phoenix is the one you want to be with?” It was a question I’d been starting to ask myself before the trials too. But since we’d come back, something had changed. I was less inclined to doubt him now.

“He’s good to me, he looks after me when I need it, he’s honest, and…we…” I blushed.

“
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!
You had SEX with him!”

I had a feeling she was enjoying the new slant on biblical

references.

“It kind of just happened,” I said in a low voice, trying to remind Steph that we were actually in a public place and I didn’t want the whole world knowing I had lost my virginity to an exiled angel.

“
It
kind
of
just
happened?
The flu kind of just happens; sex requires consensual dirty thoughts and the extensive removal of clothing! I want details, and when I say
details
, I mean the good details, not the gross details.” She screwed up her face and we both laughed.

“Actually, it was strange. Don’t get me wrong, Phoenix was amazing.

He has obviously, you know…Clearly it wasn’t
his
first time.”

“Yeah, yeah, he’s a sex god. Surprise, surprise. So what’s the

problem?”

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“Nothing I guess. It’s just…He has this ability to make every-

thing seem much more intense. He takes me away…It’s a rush

and…kind of scary. I feel like I lose myself to him.” My mind

drifted to the images of the fire encasing us and the golden strands wrapping around us both.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

It was a logical question. I answered quickly before I could let the doubt set in. “Good. It was good, I think.”

“Well, I suggest you keep it to yourself for now. I wouldn’t like to be around if Lincoln finds out.”

I covered my face with my hands and sank into my chair.

“No way!” Steph almost fell off her seat in disbelief.

“He figured it out.” I cringed, peeping out from behind a

few fingers.

“
Christ
almighty!
” She smiled at her words. I rolled my eyes.

“Okay, but in all seriousness, what did he do? Was Phoenix there?

Did he hit him? Who’s stronger out of the two? Is it a fair fight?” She was rambling on so fast I could barely make out her words.

“Actually, it was awful. He told me he loved me and that he had dreamed about how we would be together.” I told her about the

candles and the lilies. She looked around wistfully.

“
Oh. My. God!
That is so…What did you say?”

“It’s a little hazy now, but I think I told him…that I hated him.” Steph leaned forward and actually looked worried. “Wow, not

really into subtlety at the moment, are you? That doesn’t sound like something you’d say to your worst enemy, let alone Lincoln.”

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I was a bit confused myself. “Maybe not. But every time I think of him or I’m around him lately, I just can’t stop all these feelings of anger and hate. I mean, it was bad when I first found out he’d been lying to me, but since coming back from the trials, it’s like I can’t escape them, like they’re controlling me.”

“Hey, I’m all for a little venting, but maybe you should try letting go of some of the hate. You know, deep breaths or something. I

mean, it sounds like you’re not going to be able to avoid each other for long, while doing the whole save- the- world thing too.”

She had a point, and more than that, I actually agreed with

her…in theory.

We spent most of the afternoon hanging out. Steph filled me in

on her own love life, which was full- steam ahead. She and Marcus were officially a couple. He satisfied Steph’s long list of requirements and he pretty much worshipped her. According to her, all

was as it should be. She offered to carry on keeping me company, but after the tenth text message from Marcus, I pushed her onto the bus to go meet him.

Feeling the urge to be a little spontaneous, I bought some new

clothes. They weren’t my usual style, but since everything else in my world had changed, why not my look? I even went and had my

hair cut. It was nice to try something different, and it gave me a new sense of confidence.

By the time I walked into the apartment, it was dark. Dad was

sitting on the couch reading an architecture magazine. He closed it and sat up a little when I came in.

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“Hello, stranger. It seems like we never see each other these days.” I knew I was going to have to explain my lengthy absences. The

problem was, I still hadn’t figured out what I was going to say. We hadn’t even crossed paths since before the trials.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so caught up with work, sweetheart. I know I haven’t been around much, but if you still want to catch up over dinner one night soon, I’d really like that. How about Thursday next week?”

I relaxed and almost laughed. I’d forgotten that Dad pretty

much existed in his own world. I decided it was a good thing.

“Sure, Dad. Next week sounds fine. How about we go Italian?”

“Great!” He went back to his magazine.

I made coffee and a potato chip sandwich and headed to my art

studio. With a blank canvas, coffee in hand, and Florence and the Machine playing on high, things seemed almost normal. I even

managed to fit in a quick call to Phoenix, inviting him to meet me at Hades the following night.

After speaking with him on the phone, I felt much better.