Embrace, Entice, Emblaze (106 page)

“Linc?”

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“Yeah?” he replied.

Stay!

“Thanks.”

A look passed over his face, and he watched me for a moment

before saying, “It’ll all be okay.”

I hoped desperately that he was right.

I slid between the sheets and rolled onto my side, listening as the door closed softly, followed by a lengthy delay before footsteps drifted away down the hall.

I spent the next hour biting my lip, half sitting up, wanting

to go out and see him, then flopping back onto the bed, settling instead for burying my head under his pillow and breathing in the deliciously tormenting scents that were all him.

At one point, I actually made it out of the room and into the

hall. But after a few steps, I could hear that he was awake himself, pacing around the living room, and I found myself sneaking back into his room, closing the door behind me, and cringing when it clicked. He’d know I’d been out.

I waited, half expecting him to come and confront me or some-

thing. But he didn’t and eventually I stopped being a maniac and, exhausted, slipped into a much- needed few hours of sleep.

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chapter
ten

“No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are
made. Destiny is made known silently.”

aGNes De MILLe

I woke Th ursday morning to fi nd my clothes, clean and folded, at the end of the bed. I knew he’d done it during the night and almost laughed out loud at how pathetic we were.

I got dressed and headed out to the living room. Spence was at

the dining table “drinking” a bowl of cereal. Lincoln was on the couch, asleep.

“You want some?” Spence off ered quietly, trying not to wake Lincoln.

Th ere was a part of me that strongly suspected he was not asleep.

Th e man was a warrior of warriors— I doubted he’d sleep easy with other people up and about around him. But I wasn’t about to fi nd out. He at least deserved that from me.

“No,” I said. “I’m going for a run, and when I get back, we’ve

got to go to school.”

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“Not me.” He looked me up and down. “And not you, dressed

like that.”

“Yes, you are. I need your help. And I have a spare uniform at

school.” I wrinkled my nose at the thought of the uniform that was stuffed at the back of my locker. It probably smelled like old bananas.

Spence groaned. “Eden, school isn’t for me, and right now, with everything going on, Griffin’s hardly going to bother checking if I’m going or not.”

“I don’t care if you turn up. I just want to make sure Steph does.” Spence put down his spoon and looked up, the first sign of

interest showing. He loved a plan.

“I need you to show up as Steph, walk around for a bit, and

make sure people see her complaining of a headache. It’ll be easier to cover for her that way.”

“Won’t they call her mom if she gets sent home sick?”

“Yeah, but if we’re there before classes start, then she won’t have signed in. People will just think she decided to go home and the teachers won’t bother calling her mom. They’re all scared of her mom anyway.” It was true, and with the school dance coming up

and Mrs. Morris one of the main contributors, they already had to deal with her more than they liked.

Spence considered this and, from the shrug and final two

gigantic slurps of his cereal, seemed to agree it was a good idea. He nodded while still chewing. I rolled my eyes as I went out the door.

“Have I told you how much I love your devious streak?” he

called after me.

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Jessica shirvington

I called Dad on the way to school and let him know Steph and I

were back safe and sound and that we were going straight to class.

He sounded relieved, but there was that something in his tone that I was hearing more and more— doubt. He ordered me straight

home after school. I wondered if it was Caroline, if somehow she was pointing out to him that he seemed to be missing something

fairly major. Caroline had always looked at me like she knew something was going on.

By the time we arrived at school, Spence was under a Steph-

glamour. If I hadn’t known better, it would have totally fooled me.

He had everything down— her spritzy blond hair perfectly styled, well- fitting shorter- than- regulation- length uniform, even her low-slung backpack, worn that way to counter the fact it was always jam- packed with books.

Seeing Spence as her brought everything to the surface, and

I couldn’t help but throw my arms around him. I missed her so

much. I had to get her back in one piece. Inside and out.

Spence seemed to realize and hugged me back. “She’ll be

okay. And”— he squeezed me a little tighter— “I’m sorry, Eden, I shouldn’t have said those things last night. I’ve got your back— you know that, right?”

“I know.” And I was counting on it too. If the time should come, Spence might be my best hope of taking Phoenix down.

————

The morning went smoothly, and after Spence had made sure a

good number of teachers and students had seen Steph complaining 106

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of a headache and cramps— his own contribution, thinking it

would piss Steph off— he bailed.

I stayed around, making sure the story stuck, telling people

she’d gone home for the day. No one questioned it. Steph was one of the trustworthy ones.

I went through the rest of the day impatiently, frustrated that I couldn’t be doing more. I knew Griffin and the others would be working on a plan, a way to get Steph back and keep the Scripture safe, and I hated that I wasn’t being more helpful. Instead, I

had to endure double English and Lydia Skilton’s hyperactive

response to beating me at track. After Spence’s show- off tactics in basketball, I figured I shouldn’t draw any further attention to our group.

My last two periods were free study, so I took the chance and left early. Kids did it all the time and teachers never really bothered to make a big deal about it.

I called Griffin and asked him to meet me in private. Hesitant, but clearly intrigued, he agreed. I waited for him outside school.

As Lincoln’s Volvo came down the street, I thought for a moment that Griffin had brought him along, but when the car pulled up, he was alone.

I jumped in. “Thanks, Griff,” I said, taking a look in the back, just to be sure.

I asked him to drive me home. I knew I had to see Dad and

somehow find my way back out before tonight.

“So,” Griffin said, when we pulled up outside my place, breaking 107

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Jessica shirvington

the uncomfortable silence. There was so much to talk about but

both of us had needed a moment. “What’s going on?”

I played with the key ring hanging off the zipper of my school

bag. “I need you to help me strengthen my defenses.”

“More combat training?”

“No. Not those defenses. I…I need to be stronger around

Phoenix. Keep him…out.”

“Oh.”

I couldn’t look at Griffin. I was ashamed that Phoenix affected me the way he did and I hated to admit it. But for Steph’s sake, I had to.

“I think that is one defense you’re going to have to develop on your own, Violet. It’s not that I don’t want to help you; it’s just that…well, your connection to Phoenix is unusual, as it was originally made by choice.” He hesitated, like he didn’t really want to go on.

“Griff, I need to know this stuff.”

He nodded. “If you want to defend yourself from him, I suspect

the key is in truly
wanting
to. There is a part of you, perhaps buried so deep that you’re not even aware of it, that is choosing to let him in.”

“That’s not true— I hate him!”

“I believe that. But that’s not all you feel for him.”

I wanted to be mad, say something hurtful to Griffin in return.

I didn’t know if he was right, but I wasn’t sure that he was wrong either. There
was
a part of me, a part I tried to ignore, that thought 108

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of Phoenix from time to time. I always shut it out but it was still there, longing for escape to that place no other living creature could take me. The bliss.

It wasn’t real. It was completely fake. But that’s also why I desired it, and as things got harder, even though it was him who was making them that way, I still felt lured by the prospect of escape. It wasn’t
Phoenix—
it was what he could do.

Guiltily, I looked at Griffin. “Don’t tell…”

“I wouldn’t,” he said, impressing truth into his words.

I nodded. “Does it ever get any easier?”

Griffin smiled solemnly. “We are soldiers in an eternal war,” he said, as if that were answer enough.

“How are you doing, anyway?” I asked.

“You mean Magda?”

I shrugged, nervous to be raising the subject. No one had heard from Magda since the day she’d stormed out. It had been awful for Griffin to discover she’d been allying with exiles and deceiving him for so long.

He looked out the window, keeping his expression blank.

“What’s done is done. Magda is no longer one of us. Looking

back, I don’t know that she ever really was. To be Grigori, you don’t have to believe in God, you don’t have to want world peace”— he sighed— “but…you have to believe in humanity, in our rights to

exist and be free. Magda took that right from too many people.”

“Do you think you’ll ever see her again?”

“I hope not, because if I do, it won’t mean anything good.”

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“Will you…?”

He looked at me now. “Find another partner?”

“Yeah.”

His hands ran around the steering wheel thoughtfully.

“Theoretically, until one of us dies or makes a formal request, Magda and I remain partners.” He sighed again. “I’ll get a new partner, eventually. I believe in the system. There are some who choose not to, deciding instead to be part of the cleanup crew, be teachers, or be one of the Rogue, but none of that’s for me. Anyway, I’m not ready yet.” I shifted in my seat to face him more directly. “Who are the Rogue?” He hitched a shoulder and dropped his hands from the wheel.

“Grigori who are not part of the system— they’ve either left their partners or not taken a new one after their partner has died, but for whatever reason, they choose to go out alone. Not part of any particular territory, preferring simply to roam, they work on their own set of…flexible rules.”

I could tell Griffin didn’t think much of the Rogue, but the

concept fascinated me. The idea that there were Grigori out there just living their own lives. I wondered what they did if they were hurt, since they wouldn’t have partners to heal them.

“So they don’t answer to anyone?” I asked.

“Yes and no. Most of them work on a contract basis in return

for income and other resources, but they don’t consider themselves part of any team and are unreliable at best.”

“Is that what my mother became?” I’d always wondered what

her role had been after she’d married Dad and moved here. Griffin 110

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had been in the city by then, but he’d sworn to me he’d never

crossed paths with her.

“No. From what I understand, your mother was always loyal to

the Assembly, but after losing her partner and finding your father, she had taken…an extended leave.”

————

I was still thinking about my conversation with Griffin when I

opened my apartment door and saw Dad sitting at the dining

table. With Caroline. He had papers strewn across the table and was tapping away on his laptop while she sat close beside him,

passing him documents. I failed to hide my surprise. He’d said he’d be waiting for me when I got home, but I wasn’t convinced he’d

actually be there. And in as many years as she’d been working for Dad, he’d never brought Caroline home.

“Hi, Dad. Hi, Caroline,” I said carefully.

“Hi, Violet,” Caroline said, chirpier than usual. She played with one of her long, caramel curls, nervously picking up another piece of paper. She knew her being there said something.

Dad finished whatever he’d been typing, took the next docu-

ment from Caroline, and looked up.

“You’re early. Are you okay?” he asked, following textbook

parenting and not acknowledging the fact that we had a guest, as if it were normal practice.

“Yeah, study period. I’m sorry about last night. We really hadn’t planned on being home late and we did try to call,” I said, following textbook daughter vagueness. Also ignoring Caroline.