Embrace (24 page)

“Isaac,” I began. “About yesterday. I don’t—” Ugh. I sucked at putting my feelings into words. I took a slow breath and told myself I could do this.

He didn’t wait for me to gather my thoughts. His shoulders slumped forward. “I’m sorry for what I did. You have no idea how sorry. I knew Kevin wasn’t in control. I could taste it. I shouldn’t have let myself become so upset, but it’s like I told you, I would have done whatever it took to keep you safe. At the time, safe meant taking Kevin down.”

I bit my bottom lip to keep from saying,
Oh my God
, out loud as I realized how truly lucky Kevin was to be alive. “You can’t do that,” was all I managed to say.

He laughed, loud and dark. “Could have, and probably would have if you hadn’t jumped between us.” His velvet brown eyes met mine. “You shouldn’t have done that. We almost killed you.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Your heart stopped.”

“Oh.” That would explain the nothingness. “But it started again,” I said as if we were talking about his Jeep and not one of the most important muscles in my body.

He snorted. “After several minutes of CPR and several jolts of power. Madison, for a moment there, you weren’t responding. You were dead.”

I wasn’t quite sure what to say. I settled on gratitude. “Thanks—for saving me.”

My response earned another dark laugh from him. When he stopped, there was no trace of humor in his beautiful face. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to see me again. Just say the word and I’ll go.”

I wanted to know what was with everyone that morning. For the second time that day, someone I cared about was offering to walk out of my life. Did they really believe I needed them less then than I had the day before? Hadn’t my actions been proof enough that I needed them both alive and in my life? My temper fueled my response.

“Why do you think I hurled myself between you and Kevin?” I snapped. “It wasn’t because I wanted to know what an electrical conductor felt like.”

“No.” Isaac lowered his gaze. “Is that really how you feel?”

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific than that,” I said. “I was sort of being fried at the time.” I held my breath and waited for his reply, knowing full well what he was referring to.

I forced myself not to look away when his eyes met mine with fierce determination. I hoped that determination was to get the words out and not anger.

“Love for Kevin.”

I winced and fought to keep my expression neutral.

He continued, “You feared you had already lost his friendship and would lose even more if he continued to battle his powers against mine.”

So far, he was right on target. “He’s a friend. I care about him.”

“You have similar feelings for me.” I didn’t miss how he left out the
L
word.

Isaac watched me expectantly. I needed to put what I felt in my heart out in the open and trust that things would fall into place. I needed to tell him just how important he was to me, that I loved him.

“After what you’ve seen, do you have to ask? I’ve only known you a short time, and yet my feelings for you go all the way to my core. You make me whole.” I let out a nervous laugh and continued to babble on. “I didn’t even know I was missing a large piece of myself, and the thought of losing you scares the crap out of me. It twists my insides into knots. You had to feel how much I need you and that my biggest fear is losing you. You had to, because I felt that same thing from you.”

“Need.” The word rolled off his tongue with contempt. I flinched at how it sounded. Cold. Necessary. Not at all warm like the word I hadn’t said. “You feel whole because you’ve embraced your powers, not because you met me. And as nice as it is to be
needed
, you can learn more about your powers without me.” He stood. “Our relationship had its obstacles anyway.” Isaac looked through me as he spoke. “Kevin was lucky you stepped between us. He’s alive today because you did. It’s better for everyone if my—” He paused, clearly searching for the right words. “If my emotions aren’t complicated like that.”

“What? Wait!” My breath came quickly. Panicked. Even knowing my fear of losing him, he was dumping me. “Please don’t do this.”

I wasn’t sure if the obstacles Isaac referred to were our powers colliding if we didn’t suppress them or Kevin. But I did know what would happen if his emotions were
complicated
.

“Then promise me you won’t embrace the dark. Promise me, and then you can’t,” I begged. I could feel a hole ripping open in my chest knowing he was about to walk out of my life.

“Madison, I can’t make that promise,” he replied dryly.

“Can’t or won’t?” I whispered.

“Won’t.” Isaac’s gaze grew fierce. Adamant. “The promise I made before stands. If we are apart, I won’t be tempted.”

His words played back in my mind:
I’d do whatever it took to keep someone I care about safe—expose what I am, harness my anger, let my darker side take over.

“I don’t want you giving away your soul for me. Ever. No matter what the reason. Not even a little piece.”

“I think it’s best if I’m not tempted,” he repeated. “Don’t you? You say you feel the same for me as I do for you, but I don’t think that’s true.
Need?”
He said the last word as if it were toxic. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “It’s better we don’t complicate each other’s lives. It’d be too much work.”

The sound of my heart breaking echoed in my ears.

“Isaac,” I choked out. He stiffened, hands balled at his side, and his eyes closed as if he couldn’t stand to look at me. “Don’t do this, please. It’ll kill me if you leave.”

Isaac turned away from me without opening his eyes.

“Please, Isaac.” I’d let my heart guide me when it came to him, yet I couldn’t say three little words out loud.

It took three tries to get the words out; they kept catching in the back of my throat. He was at the door when they finally made it to my lips.

“I love you.” I wasn’t sure I’d spoken loudly enough to be heard.

Isaac stopped, his back still to me.

“I love you,” I said louder.

His shoulders relaxed a little. “Don’t say it because you think that’s what I want to hear.”

How could I have been so stupid? I’d spent so much time worrying that he didn’t feel the same way about me that I’d never stopped to consider he would need to be reassured of my feelings as much as I needed to be of his. He’d all but said the words to me before, and my replies had always fallen short. Now that I’d said them, it was easy to spill my heart to him. I got up and stood behind him.

“I’m saying it because it’s true. I love you, and I was so afraid these feelings I have for you were a product of our magic or even the thrill of being in a new relationship, but now I know it’s more than that. It scares the crap out of me, feeling this strongly for someone I barely know. It scares the crap out of me knowing just how hollow I’d be inside if you weren’t in my life.” I rested my hand on his arm. “It’s not the powers that make me whole, it’s you. I’ve been so afraid to even admit it to myself. But I do. I love you.”

Isaac turned to face me. Whatever he saw on my face caused his eyes to soften and his jaw to relax. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. He spoke into my hair. “I love you too. I needed to hear you say it. If I’m going to risk being shocked when we kiss or giving in to the dark to be with you, I need to know it’s for the right reason.”

“I do.” I craned my neck so that I could see him without having to step back. “Forever, but you have to promise me you
won’t
give into the dark.”

His lips brushed mine. “No. I will promise you I won’t use my powers to hurt someone you love if I can avoid it, if I have any other option available to me, but I will not promise to stand by and do nothing if you are in trouble. The promise I made to you yesterday stands.”

I would have to be careful never to need that kind of protection, then, because I knew arguing wouldn’t get me anywhere. His tone had shown no sign of yielding.

“That’s enough, for now,” I whispered.

His powers wrapped around me like the wings of an angel. It was a feeling I never wanted to be without.

Chapter 20

Life Goes On

K
EVIN
C
ALLED
M
E
T
HAT
N
IGHT
, as promised. He was glad he’d visited, relieved to be able to talk to others about the powers he had and happy to know they couldn’t bubble over anymore. I think one day he will decide he wants to embrace them. When that time comes, he’ll be back to learn how to control them.

I didn’t mention this out loud. Instead, I kept the conversation to what he’d been up to for the last few weeks. He told me about basketball and Megan, his girlfriend. She sounds nice. I’m truly excited that things are going so well for him.

Ever since the festival, school has seemed downright boring. Emma has been admitted to the hospital and is in for an extended stay behind the solid white door on the fifth floor. We figure her time there depends on just how much evil she’s done. I’m willing to bet it will be a long, long time. To be safe, in case she gets out one day and makes another deal in exchange for powers, we dug up the poppet and made a new one that included a few strands of Emma’s hair and a piece of the shirt she’d been wearing.

The events from the day of the festival have seemed to humble Paige. Her appearance hasn’t changed, but like I said before, black suits her. She’s even kept some of the confidence she’d gained while having the powers—only without the smug attitude that had made me want to yank her hair out. She apologized to Kaylee and me, saying she’d never meant for it to go as far as it had. She seemed to want to mention other things, but didn’t. We forgave her because that’s what friends do, although we have no intentions of hanging out with her or anything like that. Paige had ruined any chance of that happening when she’d stuck by Emma’s side.

Mark didn’t know about the powers or what had really happened to Kaylee and then later in the classroom. And his crush on me faded after he asked Sarah out and she said yes. Not that I’m complaining. Having a not-so-secret admirer is definitely more trouble than it’s worth, and I can tell by the silly grin that takes over Sarah’s face whenever his name comes up that she really likes him.

Josh and Isaac gave a small amount of their powers to Kaylee, just enough to allow her to protect herself should she ever need to. I wanted to give her some of mine too, and I wasn’t the least bit happy when I was told I’m not strong enough. Boys, always thinking they’re the stronger sex. I would do it anyway, if I knew how.

I don’t, which suits Isaac just fine.

Mr. Chapin had a weak moment and gave me two generous Bs on the essays I’d handed in on Monday. With the homework I had turned in last week, it pulled my grade up to a seventy-one percent, a small miracle I am grateful for.

As for Isaac and me, we’re taking the time to get to know each other. A bit backwards considering we’re in love.

Friday, I met him in front of the double glass doors to the parking lot.

“Want to go for a drive?” he asked.

We had spent every afternoon of the week at his house, studying and practicing magic. A drive sounded nice. We ended up at the lighthouse.

“Life seems a little slower without the threat of evil classmates and curses,” I commented as we climbed the winding stairs to the top.

“Don’t tell me you miss that?”

“Not really.”

We stepped onto the landing. Wispy white clouds brushed a powder blue sky. The breeze was light, pulling my long hair away from my face. The sunlight sparkled off the water like a sea of silver and white confetti.

Isaac took my hands in his, lacing our fingers together, and backed me up until I was pinned against the windows. His mouth tugged upward into the sly grin of a fox.

“Want to try again?”

The air between us sizzled with our magic, mingling vanilla and spearmint with chocolate and strawberries, dancing with excitement. It heightened my senses so much I could just make out the steady beat of his heart. It was the polar opposite of mine, which broke into a sprint the moment the heel of my sneaker bumped the solid wall. I was sure he could hear it. His grin stretched to a smile.

“Sure,” I replied, doing my best to pretend it was no big deal. Something we did all the time with no effort at all. Like normal couples. Only, we weren’t so normal.

“You need to concentrate.”

“I know.” And I was focusing on every bit of him, from how the sunlight revealed golden highlights in his dark hair to how his thumb drew small circles on the back of my hand.

He stepped even closer, so that there was nothing but the fabric of our clothes separating us. I tried not to think about how his chiseled chest would feel if he lost the shirt or how my thigh had ended up between his. My fingers curled tighter around his hand.

“I think we could start a fire with the amount of energy circling us,” he commented. “You’re going to have to do better than that.”

“It’s not just my powers I smell,” I pointed out.

“Okay.” And just like that, the scent of vanilla and spearmint vanished. He nibbled my ear. “Your turn.”

He wasn’t playing fair. He never had, and I secretly loved that he didn’t. I closed my eyes and focused on unpleasant things, like how much homework I had to do when I got home and how I was behind on my chores. I tried, I really did, but my mind was too busy wondering where his mouth would end up next. Right then he was skimming my collarbone.

“You’re not helping,” I muttered.

He made one last pass over my neck, up to my ear, before releasing my hands. He placed his against the windows on either side of me.

“Sorry.” His eyes met mine. No longer smoldering. More playful. “Take your time.”

He didn’t look the least bit sorry, and not having him touching me did not make it any easier to gain control of my racing heart, nor did it stifle the elated tingling that coursed through me. His gaze dropped to my lips.

“You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you wouldn’t do that,” I said.

“What?”

He knew damn well what. “How am I supposed to concentrate with you looking at me like that?”

“I can’t look at you now?”

“Of course you can look at me, just not like
that
.” I waved my hand up and down to indicate everything about him, from his sultry gaze to his close proximity.

Isaac laughed. “Madison, you’re over-thinking this. Take a deep breath.” He waited for me to follow his instructions. “Pull your magic in, and then let out the breath.”

I did.

His fingers tilted my face upward. His mouth found mine, kissing me softly at first. Then he slid his hand to the back of my head while the other moved to the small of my back. Mine were resting on his hips. His tongue brushed mine, ever so lightly. I rose to the balls of my feet, enjoying the moment, which lasted longer than our last kiss.

Then it happened. A hint of power licked my fingertips. I tucked it behind my subconscious. He pulled me closer. My insides warmed right behind my belly button a moment before my power burst free, shooting through every part of my body. The spark of it colliding with Isaac’s carefully concealed power was bright enough to see through closed eyelids. We jerked apart.

“Sorry,” I whimpered.

He bit his lips between his teeth and held up a hand, indicating he needed a moment. My tongue felt as if I’d pressed it to a nine-volt battery. Several seconds passed.

“You did better than the last few times.” He smiled at me, but I could tell his mouth still stung too.

I gave him a
You’re just trying to make me feel better
look.

He snaked an arm around my waist and pulled me close again. “No. Really. I bet if we’d timed it, we made it twenty-three seconds, and the jolt only rattled half my teeth this time.”

I whacked him in the arm. “Not funny, Isaac!”

I tried to push away. He tightened his hold on me. “I have an idea. One that should keep us from frying each other’s brains in an attempt to get a kiss.”

I stopped struggling. “And what might that be?”

We’d practiced for a week, and it hadn’t gotten any easier.

He kissed me, a quick peck. “I’ve been thinking.” He kissed me again. Briefly. His lips on mine barely a second.

“Go on,” I coaxed, dying to know this idea of his.

“We’ve been going about this whole closeness thing all wrong.” He lips met mine again and were gone.

“We are?” I cocked my head to the side, intrigued. “Do tell.”

He kissed me. Another peck, really. “We’re over-thinking the whole process.”

“You’ve said that already.”

“No.” Another peck. “I said
you
were over-thinking before.” His lips brushed mine. “I’m willing to admit that we both are.”

“How honorable of you.” My tone was serious, but I couldn’t hide my smile.

Another fleeting kiss.

“Have I told you you’re an excellent kisser?” he asked.

This time when he kissed me, his tongue skimmed mine. My reply, which would have been no because he hadn’t told me that before, came out as more of a moan.

“So I figured—” another peck “—if we don’t worry about the long seductive kisses and go for the quick passion, we might stand a chance.”

“I like that.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. Kissed him. “And I think—” another quick kiss “—it might just work.”

Embraced in Isaac’s wings, I decided that change wasn’t such a bad thing. It actually gave flight to a whole new world I couldn’t wait to explore.