Embittered Ruby (43 page)

Carmen nodded. Made sense in a backward sort of way. Which was consistent with much of what she had learned about God. He didn’t always do what she expected. But yet it held true.

“And, Carmen, realize that you’re a work in progress. You’re not going to be perfect as long as you walk this earth. So give yourself a bit of a break. Not a license to sin, but freedom to live. Rest in your forgiveness. Savor it. Don’t let your desire to earn it suck the joy right out of it. You can’t earn it. Thankfully, it’s already paid for.”

Ah. There it was. Carmen let those words roll over her.

“So what does someone have to do to add to the graffiti wall? Do I have to wait until I graduate?”

“Oh no. It’s just whenever someone has something they’d like to indelibly imprint on the walls of this place as an Ebenezer.”

“A what?” Carmen just wanted to go crazy with some spray paint and make a symbol of what she’d learned.

Donna nodded. “Yeah. It’s a great story. Israel went through a lot of trouble because of their own disobedience.”

“I can already see the connection.” Carmen smirked.

“Hold on. It gets better.” Donna grinned. “Samuel became the priest and judge, and Israel repented. After that God kept them safe. Samuel wanted a way to remind the people of how when they turned their hearts toward God, He poured blessings and safety into their lives; so he put up a large stone in the place where they began their surrender. And that Ebenezer stone remained there to remind the people of their fresh start and God’s covenant with them.”

“Wow. That is pretty cool. So can I have my turn?”

“You’re ready?”

“Yep.” Carmen stood up. “Where’s the paint? You have red, right?”

“We have every color. You’re going to do this now?” “Why not?”

“Okay. Follow me.” Donna led her to the electronics room and closed the door. There on the wall behind the door were shelves packed with all kinds of spray paints, brushes, markers, and whatever she might need to create her art.

“Take whatever you need, and then have at it. I’ll leave you to your ponderings so I don’t get in the way of your creative energy.”

“Thanks.” Carmen dropped to the floor by the metallic paint and selected ResplendentRed Glitter. Six other flat colors, and she had what she needed. She put everything in an empty cardboard box and pulled the door closed.

Should she sketch it out first? Or just go for it? As she climbed the stairs, she looked in detail at some of the others. She’d be just fine without sketching it. It would be more abstract.

She selected the wall section to the right of their bedroom door. How much room was that? Best guess…about two feet to the corner. Perfect.

First the cross. Carmen made a gradient yellow sunburst in the center of the wall canvas then added a brown slash from the floor up about four feet. Next came the cross beam from the edge of the door frame across to the corner. How did that look? She stepped back.

Good, except for…Carmen added some darker brown shading and shadows to the edges of the cross. The cross with the sun shining through it, symbolic of Christ’s love for her and her awakening to new life. Perfect.

Now for the other important lesson. Carmen stared at the wall.
Come on, inspiration
. What did she want to say with this part? People are people. At the cross there’s no color or status. That’s it. Unity.

Just below the cross beam, she used peach paint to spray a hand reaching out toward the cross. Then from the other door frame, she used her darkest brown to spray another hand the same way. From the bottom up, a light-brown hand. And from the top, yet another shade of brown. In the center of them all, right on top of the cross, Carmen sprayed a heart.

That’s awesome
. Carmen stepped back, proud of the work, but even more proud of the internal work it took to have the right to paint that graffiti for all to see.

But she wasn’t finished yet. She grabbed the red-diamond glitter paint and added a pair of ruby slippers at the foot of the cross.

“There’s no place like home.”

1.  Describe the various ways Carmen faced loss in the early chapters of this book. How did she handle it?

2.  What prejudice does Carmen experience that is directed toward her? Does she see it clearly?

3.  How did she land on a slippery slope of sin? What happened?

4.  Once she realized what she was doing, how could she have stopped it? Would it have been better to prevent it completely? How could she have done that?

5.  What was the final event or catalyst that led her to seek help at Diamond Estates? Do you think that was the right choice at that time? Why or why not?

6.  In her first few weeks there, was Carmen open to the guidance she received at Diamond Estates? How do you know?

7.  What led her to run away? What was she seeking?

8.  When she ran away, was she farther from God than before she arrived at Diamond Estates or closer?

9.  During the course of the entire book, what prejudices does Carmen direct toward others? How does she come to face the truth about herself?

10.  How many ways can you identify prejudice in
The Embittered Ruby
? How about in your own life?

11.  What does God say about His love for people of different ethnicities, social statuses, body types, and income levels?

12.  What is the overarching message of
The Embittered Ruby
?

A
re there any spirits in this room with us?” Joy Christianson stared at Raven, her face glowing in the candlelight from the black tapers to either side of the game board on the floor between them. Raven’s eyes drifted shut, and her fingers danced atop the same wooden triangle that lay motionless beneath Joy’s.

The tallest candle flickered, casting a somber spotlight, illuminating the letters that would spell messages from beyond. The flame bent to the left as though a birthday child begged for a wish.

Peeling her gaze from the candle, Joy followed her new friend’s instructions and squeezed her eyes shut, leaning back against the bed. It was Raven’s house after all. Her house, her rules.

The game piece—that’s all it was, right?—trembled and then slithered across the Ouija board. Joy’s eyes snapped open, and she jerked back. “Very funny, Raven.” Joy inched away as though gnarled fingers would reach from underneath, grab her ankles, and pull her to the great beyond. “I don’t even believe in this stuff.” She slid her hands under her legs. No way she’d put them back on that thing.

Raven raised one eyebrow and cocked her head. “Oh? You don’t, huh? Then I don’t suppose that’s your heartbeat I can practically hear all the way over here? What about the rapid breathing and”—she yanked on Joy’s arm and inspected her hand—“sweaty palms?” She returned to the ready position and waited. “People aren’t usually scared of things they don’t believe in.”

Something was out there. Beyond reality. Joy could feel it in her bones. But did she want to communicate with whatever—whoever—it was? “I don’t know Ray. I…I might not be ready for something like this. Besides, it’s just a game.”

“It is so not just a game.” Raven shrugged. “You can think that if you want to. But then you might as well play if it’s only for fun.”

Okay, now what? Joy could play along and pretend she didn’t believe in it, or she could admit her terror and leave Raven’s house immediately. The whole Ouija board thing was probably totally fake, but then why the shivers, and most importantly, why did that thing move?

Perfectly explainable. The shivers were simply a product of her own nervousness, and the triangle thingy moved because Raven pushed it on purpose.

Raven flipped her dark brown hair behind her shoulder, though the top layers fell in front of her pale face like a dark curtain. She placed her fingers on the triangle’s wooden edge and tipped her chin toward Joy. “Come on. What are you waiting for? There’s activity here, and I’m going to prove it to you.”

“What are you saying? You think there are ghosts or…what?”

One corner of Raven’s mouth curled up. “Or something like that. Let’s go.”

Joy pushed the sleeves of her fuzzy pink sweater up to her elbows and gathered her long hair into a ponytail, rolling a hair tie from her wrist to secure it out of her face.

Deep breath. Only a game.

Reaching her hands toward Raven’s, Joy barely let her fingertips rest in position. Her bright pink nails glared a contrast to Raven’s black ones just inches away. The candle teased the big black stone in Raven’s skull ring with glints of light. Joy trembled.

“Oh great sprit here tonight, will you identify yourself to us, please?” Raven slowly opened her eyes and gazed into the dancing candle flame nearest the door.

Joy begged her muscles to lift her fingers from the game, but she couldn’t move. What if something were there? What if—

Joy’s fingers jerked an inch and then gently glided along the game board as the triangle headed toward a letter. Raven, again? Or did something more sinister propel it? She stared at the fingertips across from hers. They didn’t appear to be applying any pressure to the planchette at all. Yet it continued to move.

“We mean no harm. Who is with us here?” Raven’s voice sounded strange. Calm. Gravelly.

The bedroom door stood open only a few feet away, letting a bit of a glow into the dark room from a nightlight near the hallway bathroom. Joy could make a mad dash, but she’d have to jump over the candles and the game to get to the door. And then what? She’d be out in the strange, empty house with all the worked up spirits while Raven stayed back and made friends with the nice ones? No thanks.

The glass part of the triangle stopped over a letter.

“M,” Raven whispered.

Was it okay to talk out loud? The thing continued moving after a brief pause. It paused over the letter E. “Me? Is that what it’s saying? What does that mean?” Joy shook her head, blond wisps sticking to her lip gloss. “I’m done. Seriously this time.” She stood and reached over Raven’s head to flip on the light.

“For now.” Raven licked both thumbs and forefingers and squeezed the flames, extinguishing them with a sizzle.

“No, for good. I’m done messing with this stuff. It freaks me out.” Joy shivered and pulled her sweater tight around her body.

Raven shrugged as she folded the board and slid it under her bed. “There’s not a lot you can do about it now. You’ve had a taste, and you’ll want more.”

“Hey! Joy’s back.” Coach Templeton waved from the other side of the volleyball court.

Several players stepped aside as Joy jogged toward her trying not to inhale the familiar gym aroma so she wouldn’t totally lose it. What was it about smells that stimulated emotions more than the other senses?

“Good to have you back.” Heather patted Joy’s shoulder.

“Yeah. Glad you’re here.”

“Right. Me too.”

Joy nodded, but kept her eye on Coach. It was the only way she’d get through the practice. She ducked under the net and met Coach mid-court.

“How you holding up, kiddo?”

Way to go right for the jugular
. Joy’s eyelids were hummingbird wings as she fought back the ever-present tears. “I’m good, I guess. I mean, look at me.” She gestured the length of her body. “I’m perfect. But Melanie…well, she’s another story.” The tears rolled down Joy’s cheeks. She could do nothing to hold them back.

Coach slipped an arm across Joy’s shoulders and steered her toward her office. “Go on in and have a seat. I’ll be right in.” She turned toward the team stretching on the court. “Lauren, you’re the…um…new captain…so put everyone through some drills. I’ll be right out.”

New captain. Melanie’s position. She’d loved that the team had thought so highly of her to vote her as captain. Well, why not? Mel was the best person Joy ever knew. And Melanie felt the same about Joy. They’d sure told each other plenty of times. Until two weeks ago.

Coach Templeton closed the door, sealing out the sound of bouncing balls and shoes squeaking on the gymnasium floor. Noises that reverberated until they blended into one perfect sound called volleyball. Would Joy ever love the game again? Could she let herself love anything again?

“So. How are you, really?”

Dead inside. Alone
. “I don’t know. What you’d expect, I guess.”

“I can imagine how hard this must be.”

Joy nodded. Coach couldn’t possibly imagine. Not unless her best friend had committed suicide. Not unless she had been the one to find her dead and then have to break the news to her best friend’s parents? No. Probably not. That stuff only happened in Lifetime movies. Or Joy’s life.

“Are you seeing anyone?” Coach almost whispered.

Joy recoiled. “You mean like dating?” What kind of question was that? Like Joy would ever date again.

Coach shook her head. “No, no. I mean like a counselor.”

Joy shrugged. “My parents offered. But the pastor said it’s nothing we can’t handle with God. Thinks I don’t need counseling.”