Emancipating Andie (33 page)

Chase walked toward the end of the bar, and as he approached her, her eyes slid over him and then away without the slightest sign of recognition. He took a steadying breath, thinking maybe he would be lucky and she’d be too drunk to remember she was mad at him.

But when he stopped in front of her, she shook her head. “Go away, Chase.”

“No.”

Her eyes flashed to his. “Fine,” she said, picking up one of the empty shot glasses as she tilted her head all the way back, trying to drain the remnants of a shot she’d already taken. After a few unsuccessful seconds, she slammed the glass back on the bar. “Then I’ll go.”

She turned away from him, grabbing her purse as she called out to the bartender. “Excuse me, Billy? Barney?”

Chase stifled a smile. “His name is Bailey.”

“Barney?” she called again. “Can I get one more of these?” she asked, waving an empty shot glass in the air as she tried to gather her purse with her free hand.

Chase turned toward Bailey, shaking his head imperceptibly as he moved his fingertips back and forth over his throat, and Bailey nodded once before he said, “Sorry sweetheart. We already had last call.”

“Fair enough,” she said before she turned and fumbled with the straps of her purse, trying to gather her things.

“You know what you don’t know about me, Chase?” she asked suddenly before she yanked the purse off the stool and looked up at him. “I
love
Lemon Drops.” She shrugged flippantly as she added, “I do. I
am
a liquor kind of girl.”

This time he couldn’t fight his smile. “I can see that.”

“And you wanna know something else about me?” she said, standing from the stool with her bag. She teetered but grabbed the edge of the bar to steady herself before she turned to him. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

She pushed past him as he said, “I can see that, too.”

Chase watched her attempt to storm out of the bar, stopping every few seconds to grip the back of a bar stool before she continued. He reached in his back pocket and grabbed his wallet, throwing some money on the bar and saluting Bailey before he followed her out the door.

After a few steps Andie stopped abruptly as she whipped around to face him, and he halted.

“And here’s something else you don’t know about me,” she said, only this time her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. “I am
not
a terrible person.”

Chase exhaled, his expression turning serious. “I know that.”

“No, you don’t, and you
suck
because you don’t!” she said, taking a quick step toward him and poking him in the chest hard enough to send him back a step. “You said we were a match because we’re both terrible, and I’m not terrible!”

Andie took a step backward before she continued, her voice trembling. “Because if I was, it wouldn’t be breaking my heart that he’s sad right now. If I was, it wouldn’t have been such a battle to let myself have you in the first place.”

Chase’s chest instantly tightened at her words.

“You’re right,” he said softly, taking a tiny step toward her. She immediately took a step back, stumbling slightly as the back of her foot slipped out of her high heel.

“And I shouldn’t have to explain that to you,” she said dismissively, the words running together in places as she tried to get her foot back in her shoe. “I shouldn’t have to convince you that I’m good.”

“You don’t have to,” he said, taking another small step toward her.

“You should just know!” she yelled, whipping her head up as she lost her grip on the shoe, her foot still half out of the heel as came down on the pavement. She swiped the hair out of her eyes before she shook her head. “I don’t even know who you were back there. I
hate
who you were back there.”

Chase nodded, taking a tiny step toward her. “Me too.”

“Because
you’re
not terrible either,” she said, trying to get her balance before she pointed at him. “I wouldn’t feel this way about you if you were.”

“Andie,” Chase said, and she shook her head.

“Why do you act like an asshole if you’re not an asshole? Why do you act like that?”

He closed the rest of the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest.

“I don’t want you to act like an asshole,” she said firmly before she pushed him away. He took a step back as she added, “And I don’t want to be happy that you’re here right now.”

Andie reached down to her shoe, her other arm flapping at her side as she tried to get her foot back in, and Chase stepped forward once more, steadying her before attempting to take her in his arms. She pushed him away again, but this time with less force.

“And I don’t want to love the way you smell,” she mumbled before she reached back down. With a frustrated huff she ripped her shoe off and dropped it to the sidewalk, standing unevenly as she crossed her arms and lifted her chin, looking up at him. She was trying so hard to be defiant, but her eyes were all vulnerability.

Chase stepped forward and bent down, scooping up her discarded shoe. On his way back up, he brought his arm behind her knees, knocking her weight out as he stood with her, cradling her against his chest.

She gripped the front of his shirt. “And I don’t want to feel this way when you hold me,” she said, all the fight gone from her voice.

Chase rested his chin on the top of her head as he walked toward his car with her in his arms.

“And I don’t want to be with you anymore,” she mumbled against his shirt.

He tilted his head down, pressing his lips to the crown of her head.

“Did you hear me? I said I don’t want to be with you anymore,” she whispered, tightening her grip on his shirt as she buried her face into his chest.

“Close your eyes, Andie. We can talk more when we get home.”

“Okay,” she sighed against him, and by the time they reached his car, her weight had fully settled in his arms, and she was out cold.

He placed her in the car and buckled her seatbelt before he quietly slid into the driver’s seat, careful not to disturb her. But as he drove them back to his apartment, it became very clear that nothing short of an explosion would rouse her now.

Chase pulled up to the curb in front of his building and walked around to Andie’s side, lifting her up and laying her over his shoulder to free one of his hands for his keys. He hadn’t taken two steps toward the front door before he heard a gurgling sound, and something warm and wet hit his back.

He froze, closing his eyes.

“Shit,” he said, just as another round of wet heat poured down his back, and he shifted slightly, bringing Andie down from his shoulder and holding her up with one arm while trying to pull her hair back with his free hand as she continued to vomit into the street.

When he was sure she was finished, he picked her up bridal style and walked up the three flights to his apartment as quickly as he could while trying not to jostle her. As soon as they were inside, Chase laid her on his couch before going to the bathroom and removing his soiled shirt, tossing it into the tub. He was right about to rinse it out when he heard the same gurgling sound from before, and he grabbed the wastebasket and ran from the bathroom, dropping to his knees in front of her just in time for her to retch over it.

Chase brushed the hair out of her face and whispered reassuring things to her, although she was clearly beyond hearing him.

After several minutes Andie flopped back onto the couch, her arms splayed at her sides and her eyes closed, and Chase noticed the vomit on the front of her shirt. He placed the bucket on the floor and carefully pulled her arms out of the sleeves before cradling her head with one hand and pulling the shirt up over it with the other.

He returned to the bathroom with the pail and her shirt, dropping it into the tub next to his own before he began to clean them both.

After rinsing everything down and laying the shirts over the curtain rod to dry, he went rooting through his medicine chest for some aspirin. She was somewhat coherent after getting sick the second time, and Chase was able to coax her into swallowing the two pills with a few sips of orange Gatorade.

And then she went completely limp on his couch in her bra and jeans, snoring slightly.

Chase stood over her for a minute, shaking his head with a tiny laugh.

“I think I served my penance tonight. What do you think?”

She snored in response.

He laughed again as he removed her jeans and tossed them over a nearby chair. Then he grabbed his soccer shirt from the coffee table and gently pulled it over her head before putting her arms through the sleeves.

Chase lifted her from the couch and moved her to the recliner so he could pull the bed out. Once he had set out the blanket and pillows, he picked her back up and laid her on the mattress before he climbed on, lying on his side to face her.

And he stayed that way, with his head resting on his arm, watching her until the sky outside turned pink with the rising sun.

Chase opened his eyes, blinking against the brightness before he turned his head to the side. She was sitting up, her legs pulled into her chest and her chin resting on her knees as she looked down at him.

“Hi,” she said softly.

Chase slowly rolled on to his side, looking up at her. “Hi,” he said, his voice rough with sleep.

It was quiet for a moment before she said, “Your eye looks terrible.”

He nodded. “It feels terrible.”

A silence fell over them again, and Chase propped his head up on his hand, looking her over. Her face was slightly pale and she had a little smudge of makeup under each eye, but other than that, she looked as beautiful as ever.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Not as bad as I should be.”

“Yeah, well, you puked most of it up, so that always helps.”

Andie cringed as the tiniest bit of color bloomed on her cheeks. “Sorry,” she whispered.

Chase smiled. “Plus I gave you some Gatorade and aspirin before you officially went down for the count. Regurgitate, rehydrate, medicate. The drunk man’s trifecta.”

The corner of her mouth lifted in a halfhearted smile before the room fell silent again.

Chase sat up, and her eyes followed him. “Where did you go last night?” he finally said. “Did you walk all the way to Ripley’s?”

Andie looked down, playing with the edge of his comforter. “I couldn’t find my keys. I figured I left them up here, but I didn’t want to come back up and see you.” She glanced up at him before she looked away sheepishly. “I got a cab.”

“They were outside on the sidewalk.”

She nodded softly. “I dropped my purse when I was coming down the steps. I didn’t see them fall out.”

“Well you scared the shit out of me.”

Andie looked at him before she lifted one shoulder in a shrug, and Chase sighed.

“I guess I deserve that,” he murmured. He reached up and ran his hand through his rumpled hair before he asked, “What do you remember from last night?”

Andie lifted her chin off her knees, moving to sit cross-legged. “I remember drinking my body weight in Lemon Drops. I remember standing outside of Ripley’s with you.”

“That’s it?”

She looked down at her hands. “Everything else is a little fuzzy.”

Chase watched her intently as he said, “You told me you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”

Andie’s eyes flitted to his before she looked back down at her hands again.

Chase swallowed, suddenly terrified to ask his next question. “Is that true?”

She licked her lips nervously, keeping her eyes trained on her fingers as she spoke. “You made me feel like this was wrong. And as much as I didn’t want to hurt Colin, I never felt like being with you was
wrong
.” She took a small breath, finally looking up at him. “So if you really believe that…then no, I don’t want to be with you.”

“Andie,” he said, placing his hands on the bed and leaning toward her. “Do you have any idea what you did to me last night when I thought something happened to you?”

She pulled her brow together and opened her mouth to protest, but he stopped her. “No, let me say this. When I thought you were hurt, I swear to God, I couldn’t breathe. I
literally
couldn’t breathe. It was like my body wouldn’t work. I couldn’t think at all, and I just kept moving in these pointless circles…” he trailed off shaking his head. “I have never felt so out of control in my life.”

Chase exhaled heavily, running his hand down his face before he said, “And outside Ripley’s, when you told me you didn’t want me anymore, I couldn’t even feel the pain of that because I was just so goddamn happy you were safe.”

Her expression softened before she dropped her eyes to the bed.

“And I couldn’t even sleep last night because I just kept thinking that if this were really the last night you were going to be in my bed, I didn’t want to miss one second of it.”

Andie lifted her eyes to his, and this time they were welled with tears. He moved toward her on the bed, taking her face in his hands.

“I messed up last night. I wasn’t thinking, and I messed up,” he said, swiping his thumbs under her eyes as the first tears fell. “I can’t promise you that I’ll never be an asshole again. But I can promise you that I don’t mean it. And I can’t promise you that I won’t ever make mistakes, but I can promise you that I’ll learn from them and do whatever it takes to make it right with you again.”