Elliot and the Pixie Plot (16 page)

Fudd flapped his arms wildly to balance himself away from the mud, but it did no good, and he fell forward. A half second before he landed, however, he poofed himself away, poofing back almost instantly at a safer distance from the mud, though still within Elliot’s light.

“My apologies for the delay,” Fudd said. “It’s very hard to find you in this darkness.” He glanced back at the Shadow Men. “So this isn’t going well.”

“Stay as close to me as you can,” Elliot said. “We’re surrounded, but they can’t touch me in this light. The more I sweat, the more the light is gone, though. I need your help to get out of here.”

Fudd inched closer to Elliot. “I assume the gripping mud wasn’t part of your plan.”

“Of course not.”

“Oh, good, because I couldn’t help but think what a terrible plan that would have been. Like a rabbit hiding in the trap to escape the hunter.”

“Just get me out of here!” Elliot scowled.

“Right away, Your Highness. Give me your hand.” After a few grunts and several groans, Fudd pulled Elliot from the mud. Then he asked, “What do we do next?”

“Stay close and let me think,” Elliot said. Warm mud dripped from his clothes, pulling the glowing potion off him with every drop.

Fudd didn’t need to be reminded to stay close. He pushed so close to Elliot that there was no room for air between them.

Fudd tapped Elliot’s shoulder to get his attention. “Back in Burrowsville, I’ve been reading about Kovol. Patches reminded me about the story with Kovol. She’s right. Either Kovol is awake, or he soon will be.”

“Kovol’s awake?” Elliot shuddered. “That sounds bad.”

Fudd shrugged. “If you think it’d be bad for the entire human race to collapse and be ruled by an army of the undead, then, yes, I suppose it is bad.” He paused for a moment, then added, “I can help.”

“I might not want any more of your help,” Elliot said. “I’m not sure I can trust you.”

Fudd looked at Elliot as if he’d been slapped. “Your Highness?”

“Mr. Willimaker is gone. The Fairies took him until I get Kovol’s”—Elliot paused and wondered if the Shadow Men were listening—“until I do something for them too. Did the Fairies contact you?”

Fudd’s eyes widened and he drew his hands together. “Can we talk about this when we’re not surrounded by hundreds of creepy Demon servants?”

“Hundreds? Mr. Willimaker told me there’d only be fifty.”

Fudd shook his head. “Based on the numbers here, I suspect there’s closer to fifty thousand Shadow Men in Demon Territory.”

A trickle of sweat rolled down Elliot’s cheek. He wiped it free and saw the light so dim around his body that the Shadow Men could now get within inches of him. He began backing away with Fudd on his toes at every step.

“The flashlight,” Elliot whispered.

“Not yet. It’s for the darkest of dark places.” Fudd’s voice shook as he spoke. “I’m afraid there are darker places ahead of you.”

“It’s dark enough. I can’t see where we’re going.”

“Your light is almost gone,” Fudd said. “But I can’t poof you away. My magic is too weak right now.”

“Last night, Mr. Willimaker made a cold fire in his hand. Are you strong enough to do that?”

“Yes, but it’s not enough light for the two of us.” Fudd glanced up at Elliot. “The Fairies did ask for my help, but I told them no. After the Goblin war, when I said I’d never again betray you, I meant it. You are my king.” Fudd flattened his palm, and instantly a spark of fire appeared on it. He placed it onto Elliot’s hand, who thought it was surprisingly cool amid all the heat created by the Shadow Men. It gave off enough light to surround Elliot, but the light wasn’t enough for Fudd. “This will only burn for a few minutes,” Fudd said. “Run fast.”

Elliot shook his head. “What about you? Make more fire.”

“I can’t. Not yet. I’ll run in the other direction. Without a light, the Shadow Men will follow me instead of you. I’ll run for as long as I can and then poof away.”

“Don’t get caught,” Elliot said. “That’s a king’s order.”

“There won’t be much time, so don’t you get caught either. That’s a friend’s order.” After a short bow, Fudd poofed himself away. He must have reappeared at a close distance from the Shadow Men, because Elliot heard him yell, “Hey, Shadow Men! You can’t catch Brownies or Goblins or Elves. You’re so slow, you can’t catch yourselves!”

Almost instantly the Shadow Men turned from Elliot and swarmed toward Fudd. Elliot took off in the direction where Demon Territory looked darkest, although he didn’t dare run too fast. Not only was he afraid the breeze would blow out the small, cold flame that danced on his hand, but it also didn’t throw light very far ahead of him. The last thing he needed was to run into more gripping mud.

He ran until his lungs ached and then ran until worry made his lungs do little flips in his chest (which can really hurt, if you think about it). Fudd had said he wouldn’t be able to give Elliot a lot of time to get away. But it had been a long time and Elliot still hadn’t seen any more Shadow Men. Did that mean Fudd hadn’t been able to poof away before they caught him?

Elliot made a promise to himself. If he, Fudd, Mr. Willimaker, and, yes, even Tubs, made it out of this alive, Elliot would never enter Demon Territory again. Not even if they put up the best theme park ever and let him come for free. Not even if they had the fastest, tallest roller coaster and no long lines. But…what if they also gave free cotton candy?

Elliot shook that thought out of his head. Now was not the time to think about cotton candy. That soft, sticky, sweet, chewy sugar rush. It was a good thing he wasn’t thinking about it, because otherwise he wouldn’t have noticed that his fire had burned out. And that the air around him was so black, it would have even put out a firefly’s light (if a firefly were stupid enough to come in here).

Elliot froze, not sure where he was or where he should go next. About the only thing he was sure of was that the snores he now heard could only be coming from the most evil tonsils in the Underworld.

Somehow, Elliot had found Kovol.

Kovol wasn’t awake. Or at least Elliot was pretty sure he wasn’t awake
yet
. He’d never heard anyone snore when they were awake, and that was definitely snoring.

He thought back to the night when all of this had started, when Tubs’s snoring had kept Elliot awake half the night. He sort of wished he hadn’t complained about that snoring, because this was much, much worse.

Elliot figured he must be in some kind of cave, because the air moved whenever Kovol breathed. When he snorted air in, a cold wind blew from behind Elliot’s back toward Kovol. And when Kovol exhaled, the foulest smell rushed at Elliot’s face, like rotting, decomposing eggs.

Demon morning breath.

So Kovol was asleep, but he seemed to be rolling around a lot, as if he was restless. As if he knew a human was in this cave with him. He could wake up at any second.

Elliot kept one hand by his flashlight, ready to flip it on as soon as he had to. He knew he’d have to use it soon, because he couldn’t find a sock and a hair without it, not in this darkness. But he didn’t want to turn it on too early and have the light wake up Kovol. He crept forward on tiptoes, testing every footstep before he put his full weight down. Snails moved faster than him, but he didn’t care. He had only one chance at this.

With every step, he was closer to Kovol. He stopped every time the snoring stopped and it sounded as if Kovol rolled over. Then the snoring would begin again, and he’d continue forward. Once or twice it sounded as if Kovol had stopped breathing entirely for a second or two, but he always started again with his next snore.

Dear Reader, there is a condition known as sleep apnea in which a creature might stop breathing entirely for a second or two. This is not just for evil Demons. Several humans have it too. If you have this condition, you are lucky, because a doctor can treat it, and you’ll be fine. Sadly, no doctor can help Kovol, mostly because Kovol would likely rip the doctor’s arms off first. If you have a condition where you stop breathing for an hour or two rather than just a second or two, this is not sleep apnea. This means you’re dead, and you should go see a doctor right away, even before you finish reading this book, no matter how exciting this chapter is.

After twenty steps, the snoring was so loud that Elliot was sure Kovol was within an arm’s reach of him. He silently pulled out his flashlight and then put the lens inside his shirt so that when he turned it on, it would give off only dim light.

He flipped it on, then immediately turned the light toward his body. It was very bright. Bright like a miniature sun were inside it. Of course, Agatha had said it got its light from the sun. Elliot didn’t understand how this flashlight worked, but magical tool design was hardly his biggest concern right now.

Even with the lens pressed against his skin, Elliot had enough light to see the dim outlines of Kovol’s body. He was asleep but kept stretching and rolling over like he was trying to wake up. It must be hard to wake up when you’ve been asleep for a thousand years.

Kovol slept on a flat rock that seemed to have molded to his body while he slept. Like memory foam, but less comfortable. He was very tall, at least twice Elliot’s height, maybe more. He was dressed with only a cloth around his waist and had leathery purple skin. His ears were long and pointed, and the horns on his head were gray, sharp, and twisted. His hands were gnarled with long fingers and fingernails that ended in spiked points. The skull of something that once might have been human was cuddled under his arm, like the Demon version of a teddy bear.

Elliot aimed the reflection of his light toward Kovol’s feet. How could the Fairies possibly have wanted a sock? Anyone who looked like this, dressed like this, wasn’t going to wear—oh, there they were. His socks.

Maybe sleeping in a cave for a thousand years gives a creature cold feet. Kovol’s socks were long and thick, made of the skins of some animal Elliot didn’t recognize.

Elliot stood as close as he dared to Kovol’s feet and tried to ignore the stink that came from them. Maybe this was why his mother always told Elliot to sleep with his socks off, so he didn’t have foot sweat at night.

Demon foot sweat was pretty awful. Like sticking your head into a garbage can full of old, rotten fruit that’s been baking in the sun for a week.

Elliot stuffed the flashlight into his pants so that he could free both hands. He put his fingers on the sock closest to him and very slowly rolled it down Kovol’s meaty leg, then over his shin, then—Kovol yawned, a wide yawn that reeked of moldy fish, and he turned over. His movement trapped the sock Elliot had been unrolling under Kovol’s other leg.

Elliot made a “why me?” gesture with his hands. He’d made it this far with more problems than anyone deserved. Couldn’t he get a break for once?

He pinched the new sock between his fingers. This one was already resting at Kovol’s ankle, so he decided to pull it off from the evil Demon’s toes, like pulling off a glove.

He pulled very slowly, pausing every time Kovol twitched or stopped snoring. After what seemed like hours, Elliot finally pulled the last of the sock off his foot. Even while asleep, Kovol must not have liked the feel of only one sock, because he pushed the remaining sock off with his big Demon toe.

Elliot picked it up and put both socks in his pocket. That way, if he lost one he’d have a spare. Elliot took a deep breath. Halfway there. This wouldn’t be so bad.