Eliana (23 page)

“Tie him up, get him hard, and leave him for a couple hours?”

“Devious, but I have something better in mind. When we were here, Kon loved to read to me from Master Nozomu’s collection. Afterward we’d act out the stories. We were especially fond of a book called
The Pirate and the Virginal Prince
.”

Eliana giggled at the absurd title, but when Dane related the story, she began to see its appeal. They spent the next couple of hours devising a scenario. Dane, more familiar with Master Nozomu’s house, narrowed down possible locations but seemed delighted by her willingness for sexual deviance. “You’re a woman after my own heart. Come on. I’ll show you where Master Nozomu keeps the toys.”

Vivid though her imagination was, the sheer variety of sexual implements left her mute. At least a dozen different styles of whips hung on the wall. Shelves were lined with floggers, ropes, cuffs, chains, and dildos of every size and material including glass, stainless steel, and wood.

“Master Nozomu gets this stuff from all over the world. Some of these are recreations based on paintings or drawings that are a thousand years old. I doubt anyone knows more on the subject.”

Eliana was impressed. She picked up a leather whip and trailed the tip across the floor. “I feel like I’m arming myself for war.”

“Isn’t that what this is? A war for Kon’s soul.”

Eliana plucked an object out of a box and fumbled with two dildos attached to a fleece-lined belt. “What the hell is this?”

“A strap-on made for your pleasure and his. Or hers, as the case may be. Need some help putting it on?” He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

“You can help only if you volunteer to be my first test subject.”

“Sorry, no, that entrance is for men only.”

“Why? Afraid a woman might use it better?”

“Why don’t you lie down over there and I’ll show you the difference between silicone and flesh?” He pointed to the replica of a rack.

Like hell
. “Point taken.”

Dane obviously could have spent hours talking about the various implements and their uses, but he selected only a few. Rope. A whip. A sword—the blade honed to razor sharpness—tucked into a leather scabbard. “Just remember, although we’re doing this for him, we put
our
pleasure first. Pick things that excite you and can imagine using. It’s his job to serve us and do what we say—although we have to be careful not to push him too far. But if you devise the scene solely around his desires instead of what you’re comfortable with, it won’t work. You’ll lose your confidence.”

With Dane’s advice in mind, Eliana chose items that called to her. She kept the strap-on and picked up a silk blindfold, a rattan cane, and a cowhide flogger. Dane pointed her toward a softer one. “Deerskin is better for your first time. It’s lighter and softer. Anything stiffer and you might hurt him if you don’t know how to use it.”

She picked it up then went over to the enormous collection of dildos, butt plugs, and beads, studying it for some time. “This is all…clean?”

“Cleaned and sanitized after every use, though a good Dom will do it again beforehand just to be safe.” He looked at her and grinned. “Now that we have our arsenal, it’s time to play dress-up; then I think we’d better run this by Master Nozomu.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

The scent of cedar incense alerted Kon to familiar—if not usual—surroundings. More than that, he
felt
the presence of his former teacher.

Master Nozomu was the most energetically grounded man Kon knew. His years of studying qi gong and other energetic arts gave him a strict control of his entire body, including its energy. For Kon, it was a relief. Master Nozomu did nothing more than hold his hands just above Kon’s body but Kon felt the energy flowing and returning his strength.

“Thank you,” Kon said. He sat up, glad the dizziness had stopped. “I was afraid I’d be sick forever.”

Master Nozomu offered him a cup of tea. “You’re not ill. Exhausted, yes, but your energy flows as it always has.”

Kon took the cup and sipped. Try as he might, he’d never been able to match the Master’s elegance. “That can’t be. The drugs gave me such vivid dreams. Dane and Eliana can sense them too.”

“The drugs—if they really were such—did nothing to alter you physically. Everything you felt and experienced was real, but it started here.” Master Nozomu tapped Kon’s forehead. “This is your problem. You think too much and not about the right things.”

The observation irritated him because it was true. Kon drank his tea. “I lied to Dane about the drugs. He almost died because of me. So did Eliana.”

“They made their choices. So did you, Konstantin Jäger.”

“That isn’t my name anymore.” Hearing it made Kon shudder. No one called him that. Few knew it.

“So Kon Hunter is a different man? A better one?”

Kon set the cup aside. He wasn’t ready for this. “Some days I wonder if I’m a man at all.” If he closed his eyes, he could see the file. His life, reduced to a few words. He was a monster. A freak. He’d brought harm to everyone he cared about—Dane, Eliana, even Evan.

“Give me your hands, Konstantin.”

The tone went straight to Kon’s gut, lighting all his submissive buttons. He shivered as Master Nozomu wrapped rope around his wrists. All Kon needed was that binding touch of silk against his skin to relax. Next came a blindfold. The darkness increased his calm.

“Lie down.”

He did, resting his head in Master Nozomu’s cupped hands. He focused on keeping his breathing deep and slow.

“Feel, Konstantin. You give so much of your life and energy to others. Submit. Know thyself.”

It was the first rule of being a Warden, and the most difficult. Sexually, Kon knew exactly what he was. He understood his body and its energy, what turned him on or off and how far he was willing to go with anyone.

But physical exploration wasn’t what Master Nozomu had in mind, and Kon didn’t
want
to think about what he was.

“Just be. Breathe. Focus on
your
energy, not someone else’s, and find the truth.”

Dropping into a trance state was easy. Kon did so often when he worked with a patient. Turning his focus toward himself instead of someone else was more difficult, and he resisted.

“Do as I say. Let go.”

The tone gave him no choice. Kon descended into the awareness of his own body. Here were the energy channels, flowing clean and clear as Master Nozomu had said. There was the area where his demon had once been, not so much physically as energetically dead. He didn’t miss it. Energy that would have been devoted to sustaining a sexually ravenous creature was diverted instead to other positive pursuits such as healing and energetic manipulation.

“Go deeper. Find the truth behind the gift your father sent you.”

Kon searched, sensing for anything foreign within his body.

There was nothing. The emotional imbalance was his doing. He could find no sign of any physical alterations in his system.

His father had lied.

In that moment of realization, the last hope of his father’s love shattered. Self-hatred surged and broke. He’d been a fool, too naive and unwilling to realize the truth when he should have. He trembled, racked with sobs he couldn’t voice.

“Of course he lied. He lied your whole life.”
Dane had been right.

Only Master Nozomu’s presence kept him from spiraling away and losing himself in the hurt and anger. Without the ropes, he would have clawed at his skin in a mad attempt to cleanse the taint of his past. His father was a callous murderer, a mad scientist and a manipulator. Kon had been born a half-incubus solely to sate his father’s curiosity. Worse, Kon had known it all along but hadn’t been able to face it. He’d blinded himself to so many of his father’s failings. If he hadn’t, he would have gone crazy.

Looking back now, he could recall bits and pieces from his childhood, glimpses into his father’s mind that he’d swept away to keep from being horrified. He’d sensed his father’s coldness toward others, the single-minded dedication toward his work from which a son of his own flesh could not divert him. There were the cambions he’d used ruthlessly in experiments, caring not at all about any pain he’d caused. He’d kidnapped or recruited human women to be surrogate mothers and disposed of them when he had no further use for them.

It all came tumbling back, and Kon couldn’t believe his own idiocy in wanting to find something redeemable about the man. There was nothing. Self-hatred rose up and overflowed.

“You were a child. There was nothing you could do to counter him without losing your sanity.”

That was the bitter truth. Kon couldn’t change what he was, what he’d done or where he’d come from. The Wardens had separated him from his father because they’d seen the damage Viktor had caused while Kon had been blind to it.

He’d endured years of confusion, slowly overcoming his inability to function socially which had earned fear and condemnation from his peers. He hadn’t known any better, and he pitied the trapped, ignorant child he’d been.

Tears soaked the blindfold. Anger and hurt and grief built within him until they burst.

* * * *

Kon’s anguished scream echoed throughout the house.

Dane ran, aware of nothing except the fact the man he loved was in pain. But when he slid open the door to Kon’s room, Master Nozomu knelt peacefully and cradled Kon’s head. Kon’s skin glistened with perspiration. His chest heaved with ragged breaths.

Without glancing up, Master Nozomu said, “The wound has been lanced. Nourish him, and all three of you will find the healing you seek.”

Eliana limped up behind Dane. She hung a hand on his shoulder and gazed from him to Master Nozomu.

Master Nozomu removed the blindfold, set Kon’s head on a pillow, and pulled a comforter over him. “Come.” He rose and gestured to Dane and Eliana. “He needs rest. When he wakes, he’ll be fed and bathed. Tell me what you have in mind for later.”

Dane looked over his shoulder one last time before leaving. His heart jerked at how vulnerable Kon looked.

And how, finally, at peace.

* * * *

When it came time to set the scene in play, Eliana couldn’t move. She hovered outside Kon’s door, watching him sleep on the futon. An hour earlier, she’d been thrilled and excited at the thought of pushing Kon to the brink, but now something made her hesitate.

“What’s wrong?” Dane asked. They’d raided more of Master Nozomu’s stores, and Dane looked positively dashing as the pirate captain Rodrigo with green silk pants, knee-high boots, and a white shirt which showed more chest than it covered. “Second thoughts?”

If she said what she thought, she’d disappoint Dane and probably Kon. Her corset itched. She couldn’t breathe, and her hip hurt like hell despite the coddling she’d received earlier. She wanted to worship Kon, but simply flesh to flesh, without all the props and role-play.

Dane glanced inside the room. “He’s sweet, isn’t he? I hate to wake him up only to terrorize him.”

Eliana let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “Maybe the scene could wait.”

“Maybe it could.” Dane’s voice was neutral. He gazed at her, face unreadable.

She punched his arm. “I’m not chicken. I just…” She shrugged.

He rubbed the spot where her fist had landed. “I’d never, ever call you chicken. If a Dom’s not into the scene, the scene will fall apart. Better to do whatever you’re comfortable with than try to force yourself to enjoy something you don’t. Trust me, your sub can tell, and it’s no fun for either of you.”

“I think simple would be better for now.” She’d been waiting a long time to take advantage of Kon and his beautiful body, and now the moment was at hand, she wanted it to be as perfect as possible.

“Simple it is, then, with two caveats. I get to keep my rope, and I’m not leaving you alone with my man.”

“As long as you don’t tie
me
up.” Having Dane watch—and no doubt join in—would only add to the fun. Besides, she wanted to see the master at work.

Dane frowned in feigned disappointment. “Really? You don’t know what you’re missing by being immobilized and telling your sub exactly where to lick or suck or stick his cock.”

She punched him again. “Try it, and the next time I hit you, it will be in your nuts.”

Laughing, he took her face in his hands and kissed her on the lips. The suddenness—and the sudden streak of heat—reminded her why they were here.

“Ladies first?” she asked.

He kissed her again, his lips lingering and soft against hers. “Tonight is yours. Do what you will with the man I love.”

With a gentle nudge, he propelled her inside. Kon hadn’t stirred. He slept on his side, mouth slightly open, hair loose around his shoulders. Lowering herself to the ground was a difficult proposition with her aching hip, but she managed to kneel on her good leg and ease down the rest of the way. Facing Kon, she lifted the comforter. His chest was bare, and he wore only thin cotton pajama bottoms.

She slid under the cover and stroked his cheek. He made some incoherent, mumbling noise. Encouraged, she pressed her lips to his and gently pried his mouth open with her tongue. Even asleep—as she hoped he still was—he accepted the kiss with calm submission. She explored his mouth and tasted the faint remnants of an herbal tea.

He stirred, groping for her hand. “Ellie,” he murmured. He opened his eyes to gaze at her. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

“Shut up, Kon. Don’t say a word.” He went silent, though his plaintive look told her all she needed to know. So did that “little tingle” emanating from him. “I didn’t say I wanted you to do anything yet.” The tingling stopped immediately. She flung the covers aside. “Strip. I want to look at you.”

He obliged, moving sinuously as he wriggled free of his pajama pants. His cock hadn’t yet achieved a full erection, but it was well on its way. She sat up, ignoring the ever-present ache in her hip. Nothing remained between them but skin, and she took her time exploring every inch of his. He lay quietly on his side, his erection growing harder the longer she explored.