Eleanor & Park (41 page)

here

–

but

she’d

practically dragged him into the

garage, and now she was huddled

against him. Park still thought

maybe they’d kidnapped her. Was

he supposed to pay ransom?

‘Talk to me,’ he said to the top

of Eleanor’s head. ‘What’s going

on?’

‘Her stepdad is looking for

her,’ Tina said. Tina was sitting on

the arm of the couch with her legs

in Steve’s lap. She took the joint

from him.

‘Is that true?’ Park asked

Eleanor. She nodded into his

chest. She wouldn’t let him pull

far enough away that he could

look at her.

‘Fucking stepdads,’ Steve said.

‘Motherfuckers, all of them.’ He

burst into laughter. ‘Oh, fuck,

Mikey, did you hear that?’ He

kicked

the

Camaro

again.

‘Mikey?’

‘I have to leave,’ Eleanor

whispered.

Thank God
. Park backed away

from her and took her hand. ‘Hey,

Steve, we’re going back to my

house.’

‘Be careful, man, he’s been

driving around in that shit-colored

Micro Machine …’

Park bent to clear the garage

door. Eleanor stopped behind

him. ‘Thank you,’ she said – he

would swear that she was talking

to Tina.

This night couldn’t get any

weirder.

He led Eleanor through his

backyard, then around the back of

his grandparents’ house to the

driveway, past the spot by the

garage where they liked to kiss

goodbye.

When they got to the RV, Park

reached up and opened the screen

door. ‘Go on,’ he said. ‘It’s always

unlocked.’

He and Josh used to play in

here. It was like a little house,

with a bed at one end and a

kitchen at the other. There was

even a miniature stove and

refrigerator. It had been a while

since Park had been inside the RV

– he couldn’t stand up now

without hitting his head on the

ceiling.

There was a checkerboard-

sized table against the wall with

two seats. Park sat on one side

and sat Eleanor down across from

him. He reached for her hands –

her right palm was streaked with

blood, but she didn’t seem to be in

pain.

‘Eleanor …’ he said. ‘What’s

going on?’ He was pleading.

‘I have to leave,’ she said. She

was looking across the table like

she’d just seen a ghost. Like she

was one.

‘Why?’ he said. ‘Is this about

tonight?’ In Park’s head, it felt like

everything must be about tonight.

Like nothing that good and this

bad could happen on the same

night unless they were related.

Whatever this was.

‘No,’ Eleanor said, rubbing her

eyes. ‘No. It’s not about us. I

mean …’ She looked out the little

window.

‘Why is your stepdad looking

for you?’

‘Because he knows, because I

ran away.’

‘Why?’

‘Because he
knows
.’ Her voice

caught. ‘Because it’s him.’

‘What?’

‘Oh God, I shouldn’t have

come here,’ she said. ‘I’m just

making it worse. I’m sorry.’

Park wanted to shake her, to

shake through to her – she wasn’t

making any sense. Two hours ago,

everything

had

been

perfect

between them, and now … Park

had to get back to his house. His

mom was still awake, and his dad

was going to be home any minute.

He leaned over the table and

took Eleanor by the shoulders.

‘Could we just start over?’ he

whispered. ‘Please? I don’t know

what you’re talking about.’

Eleanor closed her eyes and

nodded wearily.

She started over.

She told him everything.

And Park’s hands started

shaking before she was halfway

through.

‘Maybe he won’t hurt you,’ he

said, hoping it was true, ‘maybe

he’s just trying to scare you. Here

…’ He pulled his hand inside his

sleeve and tried to wipe Eleanor’s

face.

‘No,’ she said. ‘You don’t

know, you don’t see how … how

he looks at me.’

CHAPTER 49

Eleanor

How he looks at me
.

Like he’s biding his time
.

Not like he wants me. Like

he’ll get around to me. When

there’s nothing and no one else

left to destroy
.

How he waits up for me
.

Keeps track of me
.

How he’s always there. When

I’m eating. When I’m reading.

When I’m brushing my hair
.

You don’t see
.

Because I pretend not to
.

CHAPTER 50

Park

Eleanor pushed her curls out of

her face one by one, like she was

gathering her wits by hand. ‘I

have to go,’ she said.

She was making more sense

now, and more eye contact, but

Park still felt like someone had

turned the world upside down and

was shaking it.

‘You could talk to your mom

tomorrow,’ he said. ‘Everything

might look different in the

morning.’

‘You saw what he wrote on

my books,’ she said evenly.

‘Would you want me to stay

there?’

‘I … I just don’t want you to

leave,’ he said. ‘Where would you

go? To your dad’s house?’

‘No, he doesn’t want me.’

‘But if you explained …’

‘He doesn’t
want
me.’

‘Then … where?’

‘I don’t know.’ She took a

deep breath and squared her

shoulders. ‘My uncle said I could

spend the summer with him.

Maybe he’ll let me come up to St

Paul early.’

‘St Paul, Minnesota.’

She nodded.

‘But …’ Park looked in

Eleanor’s eyes, and her hands fell

to the table.

‘I

know,’

she

sobbed,

slumping forward. ‘I know …’

There was no room to sit at the

table next to her, so he dropped to

his knees and pulled her onto the

dusty linoleum floor.

Eleanor

‘When are you leaving?’ he asked.

He pushed her hair out of her face

and held it behind her head.

‘Tonight,’ she said, ‘I can’t go

home.’

‘How are you going to get

there? Have you called your

uncle?’

‘No. I don’t know. I thought

I’d take the bus.’

She was going to hitchhike.

She figured she could walk as

far as the Interstate, then she’d

stick out her thumb for station

wagons and minivans. Family

cars. If she hadn’t been raped or

murdered – or sold into white

slavery – by Des Moines, she’d

call her uncle collect. He’d come

to get her, even if it was just to

bring her home.

‘You can’t take the bus by

yourself,’ Park said.

‘I don’t have a better plan.’

‘I’ll drive you,’ he said.

‘To the bus station?’

‘To Minnesota.’

‘Park, no, your parents will

never let you.’

‘So I won’t ask.’

‘But your dad will kill you.’

‘No,’ he said, ‘he’ll ground

me.’

‘For life.’

‘Do you think I even care

about that right now?’ He held her

face in his hands. ‘Do you think I

care about anything but you?’

CHAPTER 51

Eleanor

Park said he’d come back after his

dad got home and his parents

were both asleep.

‘It might be a while. Don’t

turn on the light or anything,

okay?’

‘Duh.’

‘And watch for the Impala.’

‘Okay.’

He looked more serious than

she’d seen him since the day he

kicked Steve’s ass. Or since her

first day on the bus, when he’d

ordered her to sit down. That was

still the only time she’d heard him

use the F-word.

He leaned into the RV and

touched her chin.

‘Please be careful,’ she said.

And then he was gone.

Eleanor sat back down at the

table. She could see Park’s

driveway from there, through the

lace curtains. She felt tired

suddenly. She just wanted to lay

her head down. It was already

after midnight; it could be hours

before Park came back …

Maybe she should feel bad

about involving him in all this, but

she didn’t. He was right, the worst

thing that would happen to him

(barring some terrible accident)

was that he’d be grounded. And

being grounded at his house was

like winning the
Price is Right

showcase compared to what

would happen if Eleanor got

caught.

Should she have left a note?

Would her mom call the

police? (Was her mom okay?

Were they all okay? Eleanor

should have checked to see if the

little kids were breathing.) Her

uncle probably wouldn’t even let

Eleanor stay once he found out

she’d run away …

God, whenever she started to

think this plan through, it all fell

apart. But it was already too late to

turn back. It felt like the most

important thing now was to run,

the most important place to be was

away
.

She’d get away, and then she’d

figure out what to do next.

Or maybe she wouldn’t …

Maybe she’d get away, and

then she’d just stop.

Eleanor had never thought

about killing herself – ever – but

she thought a lot about stopping.

Just running until she couldn’t run

anymore.

Jumping

from

something so high that she’d

never hit the bottom.

Was Richie out looking for her

now?

Maisie and Ben would tell him

about Park, if they hadn’t already.

Not because they liked Richie,

though sometimes it still seemed

like they did. Because he had them

on leashes. Like the first day

Eleanor came to the house, when

Maisie was sitting on Richie’s lap

…

Fuck. Just … fuck.

She should go back for Maisie.

She should go back for all of

them – she should find a way to

fit them in her pockets – but she

should definitely go back for

Maisie. Maisie would run away

with Eleanor. She wouldn’t think

twice …

And then Uncle Geoff would

send them both right home.

Her mom would
definitely
call

the police if she woke up and

Maisie was gone. Bringing Maisie

would ruin everything even worse

than it was already ruined.

If Eleanor were the hero of

some

book,

like
The Boxcar

Children
or something, she’d try.

If she were Dicey Tillerman, she’d

find a way.

She’d be brave and noble, and

she’d find a way.

But she wasn’t. Eleanor wasn’t

any of those things. She was just

trying to get through the night.

Park

Park walked quietly into his house

through the back door. Nobody in

his family ever locked anything.

The TV was still on in his

parents’

bedroom.

He

went

straight to the bathroom and into

the shower. He was pretty sure he

smelled like every single thing that

could get him in trouble.

‘Park?’ his mom called when

he walked out of the bathroom.

‘Here,’ he said. ‘Just going to

bed.’

He buried his dirty clothes at

the bottom of the hamper and dug

all his leftover birthday and

Christmas money out of his sock

drawer. Sixty dollars. That should

be enough for gas … probably, he

didn’t really know.

If they could just get to St

Paul, Eleanor’s uncle would help

them figure it out. She wasn’t sure

her uncle would let her stay, but

she said he was a decent guy, ‘and

his wife was in the Peace Corps.’

Park had already written his

parents a note:

Mom and Dad,

I had to help Eleanor. I’ll

call you tomorrow, and I’ll be

back in a day or two. I know

I’m in huge trouble, but this