Eleanor & Park (18 page)

her. They both slouched down

low.

‘That was the longest weekend

of my life,’ he said.

She laughed and leaned into

him.

‘Are you over me?’ he asked.

She wished she could say things

like that. That she could ask him

questions like that, even in a

joking way.

‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘Over and

over and over.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah, no.’

She reached into his jacket and

slipped the Beatles tape into his T-

shirt pocket. He caught her hand

and held it to his heart.

‘What’s this?’ He pulled the

tape out with his other hand.

‘The

greatest

songs

ever

written. You’re welcome.’

He rubbed her hand against his

chest. Just barely. Just enough to

make her blush.

‘Thank you,’ he said.

She waited until they were at

her locker to tell him the other

thing. She didn’t want anyone to

hear. He was standing next to her

and

purposely

bumping

his

backpack into her shoulder.

‘I told my mom that I might go

over to a friend’s house after

school.’

‘You did?’

‘Yeah, it doesn’t have to be

today though. I don’t think she’ll

change her mind.’

‘No, today. Come over today.’

‘Don’t you have to ask your

mom?’

He shook his head. ‘She

doesn’t care. I can even have girls

in my room, if I keep the door

open.’

‘Girl-zzz? You’ve had enough

girls in your room to require a

ruling?’

‘Oh, yeah,’ he said. ‘You

know me.’

I don’t, she thought to herself,

not really.

Park

For the first time in weeks, Park

didn’t have that anxious feeling in

his stomach on the way home

from school, like he had to soak

up enough of Eleanor to keep him

until the next day.

He had a different anxious

feeling. Now that he was actually

introducing Eleanor to his mom,

he couldn’t help but see her the

way his mom was going to.

His mom was a beautician who

sold Avon. She never left the

house without touching up her

mascara. When Patti Smith was on

Saturday Night Live
, his mom had

gotten upset – ‘Why she want to

look like man? It’s so sad.’

Eleanor, today, was wearing

her sharkskin suit jacket and an

old plaid cowboy shirt. She had

more in common with his grandpa

than his mom.

And it wasn’t just the clothes.

It was her.

Eleanor wasn’t … nice.

She was good. She was

honorable. She was honest. She

would definitely help an old lady

across the street. But nobody – not

even the old lady – would ever

say, ‘Have you met that Eleanor

Douglas? What a nice girl.’

Park’s mom liked nice. She

loved nice. She liked smiling and

small talk and eye contact … All

things Eleanor sucked at.

Also, his mom didn’t get

sarcasm. And he was pretty sure it

wasn’t a language thing. She just

didn’t get it. She called David

Letterman ‘the ugly, mean one on

after Johnny.’

Park realized that his hands

were sweating and let go of

Eleanor’s. He put his hand on her

knee instead, and that felt so good,

so new, he stopped thinking about

his mom for a few minutes.

When they got to his stop, he

stood in the aisle and waited for

her. But she shook her head. ‘I’ll

meet you there,’ she said.

He felt relieved. And then

guilty. As soon as the bus pulled

away, he ran to his house. His

brother wouldn’t be home yet, that

was good. ‘Mom!’

‘In here!’ she called from the

kitchen. She was painting her nails

a pearly pink.

‘Mom,’ he said. ‘Hey. Um,

Eleanor’s coming over in few

minutes. My, um, my Eleanor.

Now. Is that okay?’

‘Right now?’ She shook the

bottle. Click, click, click.

‘Yeah, don’t make a big deal,

okay? Just … be cool.’

‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I’m cool.’

He

nodded,

then

looked

around the kitchen and the living

room to make sure there was

nothing weird sitting out. He

checked his room, too. His mom

had made his bed.

He opened the door before

Eleanor knocked.

‘Hi,’ she said. She looked

nervous. Well, she looked angry,

but he was pretty sure that was

because she was nervous.

‘Hey,’ he said. This morning,

all he’d been able to think about

was how to get more servings of

Eleanor into his day, but now that

she was here … he wished he had

thought this through. ‘Come on

in,’ he said. ‘And smile,’ he

whispered at the second-to-last

second, ‘okay?’

‘What?’

‘
Smile
.’

‘Why?’

‘Never mind.’

His mom was standing in the

doorway to the kitchen.

‘Mom, this is Eleanor,’ he said.

His mom smiled broadly.

Eleanor smiled, too, but it was

all messed up. She looked like she

was squinting into a bright light or

getting ready to tell someone bad

news.

He thought he saw his mom’s

pupils widen, but he was probably

imagining it.

Eleanor went to shake his

mom’s hand, but she waved them

in the air, like ‘sorry my nails are

wet,’ a gesture that Eleanor didn’t

seem to recognize.

‘It’s

nice

to

meet

you,

Eleanor.’
El-la-no
.

‘It’s nice to meet you,’ Eleanor

said, still squinty and weird.

‘You live close enough to

walk?’ his mom asked.

Eleanor nodded.

‘That’s nice,’ his mom said.

Eleanor nodded.

‘You kids want some pop?

Some snacks?’

‘No,’ Park said, cutting her

off. ‘I mean …’

Eleanor shook her head.

‘We’re just going to watch

some TV,’ he said, ‘okay?’

‘Sure,’ his mom said. ‘You

know where to find me.’

She went back in the kitchen,

and Park walked over to the

couch. He wished he lived in a

split-level or a house with a

finished basement. Whenever he

went over to Cal’s house in west

Omaha, Cal’s mom sent them

downstairs and left them alone.

Park sat on the couch. Eleanor

sat at the other end. She was

staring at the floor and chewing

on the skin around her fingernails.

He turned on MTV and took a

deep breath.

After a few minutes, he

scooted toward the middle of the

couch. ‘Hey,’ he said. Eleanor

stared at the coffee table. There

was big bunch of red glass grapes

on the table. His mom loved

grapes. ‘
Hey
,’ he said again.

He scooted closer.

‘Why did you tell me to

smile?’ she whispered.

‘I don’t know,’ he said.

‘Because I was nervous.’

‘Why are you nervous? This is

your house.’

‘I know, but I’ve never

brought anyone like you home

before.’

She looked at the television.

There was a Wang Chung video

on.

Eleanor stood up suddenly.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

‘No,’ he said. He stood up,

too. ‘What? Why?’

‘Just. I’ll see you tomorrow,’

she said.

‘No,’ he said. He took her arm

by the elbow. ‘You just got here.

What is it?’

She

looked

up

at

him

painfully, ‘Anyone like me?’

‘That’s not what I meant,’ he

said. ‘I meant anyone I care

about.’

She took a breath and shook

her head. There were tears on her

cheeks. ‘It doesn’t matter. I

shouldn’t be here, I’m going to

embarrass you. I’m going home.’

‘No,’ he pulled her closer.

‘Calm down, okay?’

‘What if your mom sees me

crying?’

‘That … wouldn’t be great, but

I don’t want you to leave.’ He was

afraid that if she left now, she’d

never come back. ‘Come on, sit

next to me.’

Park sat down and pulled

Eleanor down next to him, so he

was sitting between her and the

kitchen.

‘I hate meeting new people,’

she whispered.

‘Why?’

‘Because they never like me.’

‘I liked you.’

‘No, you didn’t, I had to wear

you down.’

‘I like you now.’ He put his

arm around her.

‘Don’t. What if your mom

comes in?’

‘She won’t care.’

‘I care,’ Eleanor said, pushing

him away. ‘It’s too much. You’re

making me nervous.’

‘Okay,’ he said, giving her

space. ‘Just don’t leave.’

She nodded and looked at the

TV.

After a while, maybe twenty

minutes, she stood up again.

‘Stay a little longer,’ he said.

‘Don’t you want to meet my dad?’

‘I super don’t want to meet

your dad.’

‘Will

you

come

back

tomorrow?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘I wish I could walk you

home.’

‘You can walk me to the

door.’ He did.

‘Will you tell your mom I said

goodbye? I don’t want her to

think I’m rude.’

‘Yeah.’

Eleanor stepped out onto his

porch.

‘Hey,’ he said. It came out

hard and frustrated. ‘I told you to

smile because you’re pretty when

you smile.’

She walked to the bottom of

the steps, then looked back at him.

‘It’d be better if you thought I was

pretty when I don’t.’

‘That’s not what I meant,’ he

said, but she was walking away.

When Park went inside, his

mother came out to smile at him.

‘Your Eleanor seems nice,’ she

said.

He nodded and went to his

room. No, he thought, falling onto

his bed. No, she doesn’t.

Eleanor

He was probably going to break

up with her tomorrow. Whatever.

At least she wouldn’t have to meet

his dad. God, what must his dad

be like? He looked just like Tom

Selleck; Eleanor had seen a family

portrait sitting on their TV cabinet.

Park in grade school, by the way?

Extremely

cute.

Like,
Webster

cute. The whole family was cute.

Even his white brother.

His mom looked exactly like a

doll. In
The Wizard of Oz
– the

book, not the movie – Dorothy

goes to this place called the Dainty

China Country, and all the people

are tiny and perfect. When Eleanor

was little and her mom read her

the story, Eleanor had thought the

Dainty

China

people

were

Chinese. But they were actually

ceramic, or they’d
turn
ceramic, if

you tried to sneak one back to

Kansas.

Eleanor imagined Park’s dad,

Tom Selleck, tucking his Dainty

China person into his flak jacket

and sneaking her out of Korea.

Park’s mom made Eleanor feel

like a giant. Eleanor couldn’t be

that much taller than her, maybe

three or four inches. But Eleanor

was
so much
bigger. If you were

an alien who came to Earth to

study its life forms, you wouldn’t

even think the two of them were

the same species.

When Eleanor was around

girls like that – like Park’s mom,

like Tina, like most of the girls in

the neighborhood – she wondered

where they put their organs. Like,

how could you have a stomach

and intestines and kidneys, and

still wear such tiny jeans? Eleanor

knew that she was fat, but she

didn’t feel
that
fat. She could feel

her bones and muscles just

underneath all the chub, and they

were big, too. Park’s mom could

wear Eleanor’s ribcage like a

roomy vest.

Park was probably going to

break up with her tomorrow, and

not even because she was huge.

He was going to break up with her

because she was a huge mess.