As the evening light began to fade, the guards came for me; I was bathed once more by the women. The fresh water brought me to my senses. When the women's backs were turned to me, I grabbed my tunic and slipped away. I ran silently into the passageway, and then across the open ground of the forecourt. I made it most of the way to the cells before the men noticed me. They gave chase, and before I could get to my friends I was tackled to the ground, bound at the feet and wrists, and carried back towards Inanna's chamber.
Inanna was waiting for me. She seemed unconcerned by my attempt to defy her. She simply melted more opium over the oil lamp, and offered it to me. I refused, but I confess this time my blood cried out for it. Inanna summoned her guards, and they held me down. As soon as the golden calm, the slow bliss, the annihilation of all pain and anger hit me, I felt myself falling with a horrifying gratitude and relief into its beautiful embrace.
As we lay together once more, beside the lit lamp, a memory flashed through my mind of men and women, dazed with dreams, lying together in dark shadows. And then suddenly a woman's face, sorrowful, rose in my mind's eye, looking at me sadly. It was my wife, Tanefert. A door back to my old life opened briefly, and the pain of what I had done, as I recognized it in her eyes, touched me. But then the golden bliss persuaded me away into its glorious light, I felt my bones soften, my skin become light, and long waves of pleasure began to pass through me.
Much later, I awoke in the dark. The oil lamp had gone out. Suddenly I was certain someone else was in the room. I heard a sound, like a small laugh. I listened to the silence, my nerves straining. The darkness seemed alive, shifting with presences. I sat up.
âWho's there?' I whispered.
Again the strange little soundâlaughter, or perhaps something moving in the dark like a tiny animal. My skin prickled. I stared into the blackness, seeing brief stars of light, and passing patterns of colour; and then I made out a small, dark shape standing at the edge of the couch. I stared harder. A little face suddenly swam out of the shadows: my son. Amenmose. He looked at me, and I was so happy to see him; but he was not smiling.
âWhen can we go fishing, Father?' he whispered.
I heard the words, but his mouth didn't move at all. He began to cry, and as he did so, his face crumbled and began to dissolve before my eyes. Fear like freezing water poured down my body. I leapt up to catch him, but he was gone, vanished; and in the darkness I suddenly discovered something else waiting at my feet. It was heavy. I lifted it up. Khety's dead head was in my hands. His eyes were shut, but his mouth was wide open, a sticky brick of opium wedged in it, and he was screaming with rageâ
Inanna had her arms around me. I was shaking and shouting, my breath jagged, panic trapped like a wild animal in my chest. My legs moved madly, as if spiders were running all over them. I pushed her off, and ran across the room, desperate to escape; I threw the doors open, and ran down a passageway, hitting walls, feeling nothing, until suddenly I found myself in the compound yard. I looked up. The moon was high in the sky. Her bony white light illuminated the figures passed out on the ground; but these began to rise up before me, muttering, their hands reaching out to catch me. I ran towards the compound gates, but suddenly Inanna was standing there before me. I stopped. She came towards me, but I panicked again; then someone gripped me from behind, and dragged me to the ground. I heard myself screaming from far away, and I heard laughter and curses. And then I was trussed like a captured animal by my wrists and ankles, and carried back inside, back into Inanna's chamber. She made me lie down beside her, and she soothed me. I knew what I needed to restore me to peace: a new draught of golden liquid. She prepared it for me, and like a baby I took it; and I once more let go of the world, and entered the golden light. And somewhere deep inside me, I knew I was now truly lost.
âHe is here,' Inanna said, shaking me awake.
She was already dressed, and the sun was high in the sky. I struggled to come to my senses; every morning when I awoke now, the walls wavered, and the floor rose and fell with each breath. Inanna looked apprehensive. She led me quickly to a smaller chamber, away from her own.
âWhatever happens, promise me: do not show yourself. Stay hidden here until I return for you. If he finds youâ¦'
For once she looked strangely vulnerable. She kissed me, and vanished from the chamber. Outside, I could hear the shouts of men, the clattering of horses' hooves, and laughter. I lay back on the couch, and closed my eyes to stop myself feeling sick. But my legs itched with anxiety. I could not keep still. Then, in the blank space in my head, Khety's face appeared to me again. We were in the dark alleyway in Thebes; he was staring at me, with a look of terrible disappointment. I sat up, feeling a sharp stab of guilt. There was something I had to do.
I rose, and dressed myself, and carefully made my way along the passageway that led to the compound yard. The buildings were empty. The women and children had vanished. When I looked into the yard I saw Inanna and all her henchmen gathered together. Three men were lined up, on their knees, bound like captives, their heads hanging down.
Simut, Nakht and Zannanza
. How many days had passed since I last saw them?
Inanna was conferring with a man. He had red hair. I recognized his face at once: I had seen him in the great shadowy hall of the Hittites. Now he was here. Aziru. He turned to examine his prizes, one by one. His face was animated by an intense anger that seemed to burn through him. He nodded at the scar deforming Zannanza's beautiful cheek.
âGreetings, pretty Prince. Your brother, the Crown Prince, sends his greetings,' he said sarcastically.
âMy brother?' stammered Zannanza, confused.
âOf course. He and I are close associates. Do you not know the depth of his contempt for you?' said Aziru, enjoying the cruel import of his words.
âMy brotherâ
betrayed me
?' said the Prince, slowly.
âWell, yes. He has sentenced you to death, for fraternizing with the enemy. I am here to execute his command. And I must say, it will be a curious pleasure.'
He ran the point of his sword slowly down the Prince's cheek, and across the wounds made by Inanna's knife. The Prince flinched.
âI see my friend has already had some pleasure with you. I'm sure that's the first time you have given pleasure to any woman.'
âYou disgust me,' said the Prince.
âThe feeling is mutual,' replied Aziru. And then he turned to Simut, and placing his boot on my friend's head, ground his face painfully into the dirt, in the traditional gesture of kings to their defeated enemies.
âAnd this is the big man, the man of honour, the Commander of the Palace Guard.' He pressed his foot down harder on Simut's head.
âNot so big nowâ¦' he said, his face twisting.
Simut was silent. Then Aziru turned to Nakht.
âAnd here at last is the Royal Envoy himself. The great and noble Nakht. We meet again,' he said. âAlthough in such altered and, for you, unexpected circumstances.'
And then, without warning, he kicked Nakht with all his might in the stomach. Nakht doubled over and collapsed on the ground, gasping for breath. Aziru stood over him.
âYou thought you could manipulate me. But I am Aziru, King of Amurru. And I want revenge for my father, and for myself.'
And then he kicked Nakht hard in the face. The royal envoy went flying back, his head twisted to one side.
âYou thought you could use me. You thought I would do the bidding of Egypt. How foolish you were. How easily I convinced you. And then, when all was lost, you thought you could trap me, and have me killed. You thought you could negotiate my assassination with the Hittites. But you underestimated me. It is you who is caught. Now it is you who will die.'
With every sentence he administered another vicious kick to Nakht's body. Then he stepped back to admire his captives again.
âIs this not a pitiful sight? The effeminate little Hittite Prince, runt of the litter, bartered to the lonely soon-to-be-widowed Queen of Egypt. Imagine the dynasty of such a creature! A dynasty of females and eunuchsâ¦' He kicked Zannanza hard in the groin, and the Prince gasped and gagged with the pain.
âAll in all, it was a very witty move on the part of your brother, I must say, to persuade your father to send so useless a specimen in answer to his enemy's prayers.'
Then Aziru turned to Inanna, as if he had just thought of something.
âFour men were taken, and you have only offered me three,' he said.
âOne died from his wounds,' she replied, quickly.
They stared at each other.
âI paid for four men, alive.'
âMy men were over-zealous. Pay me for two men, then. I will give you the third for free!' said Inanna, lightly.
âShow me the bones of the missing man.'
âWe left him in the desert,' replied Inanna.
There was a moment of tense silence; then Aziru said clearly: âYou are lying.'
âI am not,' she replied. And then, to my astonishment, she kissed him passionately, like a lover. Aziru responded, embracing her possessively, but then winding her wild hair in his fists, and dragging her head back, painfully. Her men bristled.
âThe truth has never passed your foul lips,' he said, a nasty grin on his face.
Inanna shook herself free. He nodded to his men, who dragged Nakht apart from the other two men. Simut attempted to defend him, but he was kicked and punched to the ground. Then they dragged Nakht away by the feet, his head bouncing against the hard ground, until they disappeared into the main building of the compound.
âKeep them here in the sun, and give them no food or water. I will deal with them later,' ordered Aziru, nodding at Simut and Prince Zannanza. He disappeared into the building, his arm possessively around Inanna.
I ran around to the back of the compound buildings. Women and children were cowering there, terrified; they huddled away from me. I found a doorway and slipped into the rear of the building. A golden statue stared at me, its yellow eyes unblinking, accusatory.
I could hear distant voices. I slipped along the shadows of the passageway, away from the unreal light of the day. The voices were closer now.
âYou are a traitor.'
âYou trained me well. You thought you could send me back to the Hittites, as your trusty spy. And I made you believe I was loyal. All those reports I sent to you?
I made them up
. They were all lies.'
âI always knew your reports were lies. Do you think you were the only contact I maintained in Hattusa? Did you think I was ever fool enough to trust you?' It was Nakht's voice.
Then I heard the sound of a deep punch, and a sudden series of gasps. I glanced around the corner and saw Aziru squatting down over Nakht while Inanna watched. He grabbed him by the hair, yanking his face towards him.
âYou offered me my freedom in exchange for betraying my own people. My father died at the hands of Akhenaten, and yet still you believed I could be controlled by Egypt. But I am my father's son. Amurru will be great again. Chaos will rule. Know this: all your plans have come to nothing. Egypt and the Hittites will always be at war until the stones of Egypt's temples are fallen. I will take pleasure in cutting off the pretty head of the Hittite Prince and sending it in a box, with my compliments, to your hopeless Queen, so that she will know her last chance has gone. She carries the future of Egypt in her empty womb; and that future is a desert.'
Nakht looked at him.
âYou fool,' he said, with a new, dark contempt in his voice. He sounded unlike himself. âYou have understood nothing. You will never know the truth.'
âOh noble Nakht, orator and master, your skills are of no use to you now. Words will not save you. I am going to make you confess all your secrets, so-called envoy of the royal court, spider at the heart of the web of secrets. And you will tell me them all, as I cut off your fingers, and then your hands, one by one.'