Eggs with Legs (2 page)

The Pee Wees cheered. They loved badges, and badge talk, and earning badges. They loved to collect them and pin them on their blouses and shirts.

Molly got out her notebook, because she felt better writing everything down. She loved to make lists. And keep track of what to do for badges.

“I thought we could do three things to earn this badge,” said their leader.

Molly wrote a big “1” in her notebook.

“Number one is, I thought of dyeing eggs and making up colorful Easter baskets for the people in the nursing home. You can all be thinking of what else you’d like to put in your baskets.”

Molly wrote down, “Find things to put in baskets.”

“I think they would enjoy that,” Mrs. Peters continued, “and we could combine it with a visit. Many of the senior citizens
there don’t have visitors, and we could brighten their day by talking to them, and listening to them.”

“Some of them can’t hear,” said Roger. “I know one old geezer there who doesn’t know what you’re saying. And their stories are boring.”

The Pee Wees glared at Roger. They did not like to hear him call old people geezers. Some of them had grandparents in the nursing home. Molly wondered how Roger would like to be called a geezer. Or a pip-squeak.

“They know we’re there,” said Mrs. Peters, glaring at Roger. “Whether they can hear us or not.”

Hands were waving. “Mrs. Peters,” called Ashley Baker. Ashley was Patty and Kenny Baker’s cousin from California. She was a temporary Scout because she was just visiting. But she was in Minnesota
so much that she didn’t seem like a temporary Pee Wee to Molly.

“In California we went to the Golden West Retirement home and cooked dinner for senior citizens on St. Patrick’s Day. We made everything green. Green beans, green peas, green chicken, green potatoes, even green cake.”

The Pee Wees stared at Ashley. They had never heard of green potatoes. They do strange things in California, thought Molly. Ashley always told stories about things that no one ever did in Minnesota. Maybe it was because of the earthquakes. Maybe pictures fell off the walls and onto peoples’ heads and made them odd.

“That’s very nice,” said Mrs. Peters. “I am sure the seniors enjoyed the dinner very much.”

“They did,” said Ashley. “They all had seconds.”

“But I think a basket will be enough for us to handle.”

“Basket, handle, get it? Handle!” cried Tracy, who loved riddles and crossword puzzles.

“The next holiday is Mother’s Day, and as our second thing to do to earn our badges I thought it would be nice to think of something we could do that would be extraspecial for our mothers,” said Mrs. Peters. “Or our aunts or grandmas or whomever you wish to honor on Mother’s Day,” she added quickly.

Hands were waving again.

“I want to honor my dad on Mother’s Day,” said Roger.

“He can’t do that, can he, Mrs. Peters?” asked Sonny. “Maybe an aunt, but you can’t make a dad into a mother!”

Mrs. Peters is treading on thin ice, thought Molly, remembering something
her grandma always said. Mrs. Peters has hurt Roger’s feelings once today; she has to watch out.

“Yes,” their leader said firmly. “If Roger wants to honor his dad on Mother’s Day, it is fine.”

“Ho ho, are you going to give him a bottle of perfume, or a bunch of flowers?” taunted Sonny.

“Men like flowers as well as women,” said Ashley. “And I give my dad aftershave lotion, and that’s just like perfume. Sonny is a sexist!”

All the girls booed Sonny. Mrs. Peters frowned and held up her hands for quiet.

“Flowers and perfume are for people. Men
or
women. Now let’s talk about what else we can think of for Mother’s Day. Maybe
doing
something nice would be better than giving things.”

“Breakfast in bed,” suggested Tracy.

“Cleaning the house,” said Kevin.

“Carrying groceries in,” said Mary Beth. “I do that a lot.”

“Those are all good suggestions,” said their leader. “But let’s try to think of something out of the ordinary. Something you’ve never done for them before. We have a week to think about it, and by our next meeting you can tell us what you’ve decided. And now for the third project. In spring things look dirty, and I thought it would be nice to help clean up the park, and maybe rake yards for some people who can’t do it themselves. Sort of a community service springtime cleanup.”

Molly wrote everything down.

“Boy, that’s a lot of work for one badge!” said Lisa.

“She’s right,” said Mary Beth. “This spring badge is too much work.”

Mrs. Peters looked as if
she
had done a lot of work. Just at this meeting! She looks worn out just from trying to keep the Pee Wees from insulting each other and arguing, thought Molly.

After the good deeds were reported, and the songs sung, and the cupcakes eaten, the meeting was over.

On the way out Ashley said, “I think Mrs. Peters should have included St. Patrick’s Day. After all, that’s a spring holiday too.”

“Well then, so is Valentine’s Day,” said Rachel. “And St. Patrick’s is only for the Irish.”

Ashley stamped her foot. “It is
not
,” she said.

“Well, I think April Fools’ is just as important as that,” said Mary Beth.

Rat’s knees, thought Molly. Mrs. Peters had decided on the two holidays. There was no use arguing about it. Easter and
Mother’s Day were badge makers. All the others would have to be celebrated behind their leader’s back! And April Fools’ was Molly’s choice for that!

W
hen Molly got home she added more things to her notebook. She made a list of what she would have to come up with to get this badge.

First she would have to think of something unusual to put in her basket with the dyed eggs, to take to the nursing home. She wrote down a few ideas with a question mark after each one. Jelly beans? No, that was not unusual. A comb? Maybe. A pencil? They probably had pencils
in the nursing home. She left some blank pages in case she thought of something better.

On the next page she wrote some treats for her mother. Candy? Too common. Flowers? The same. She could pick flowers in the garden, no sense in
paying
for them. What could she do that she’d never done, and that would really be a surprise? She left a blank page there too, and put a giant question mark. This wasn’t going too well.

The third thing she did not need to plan. Cleanup day was cleanup day. Someone would give her a rake or a rag and tell her where to go and what to do. No, it was the first two she had to worry about.

But April Fools’ came before Easter, and before Mother’s Day. So if she wanted to
play a trick on Roger it would have to be the first thing she thought about.

On the next page of the notebook she wrote, “Think of good April Fools’ tricks to play on people. (Especially Roger.) Do it soon.”

The next day after school, Molly caught up with Mary Beth.

“We have to work on our April Fools’ trick right away,” she said. “I have an idea.”

The girls went over to Mary Beth’s house and sat on her porch.

“Tell me,” said Mary Beth. “What’s your idea?”

“Well, I think our trick should be on Roger,” said Molly. “I mean he’s the one who is always playing tricks on other people. I think we should get back at him.”

“April Fools’ is a perfect time to do it,” agreed Mary Beth. “It should be a real good trick, though, like a pail of water falling on his head or ice cubes going down his back.”

Molly shook her head. “I’ve got a better idea,” she said. “What does Roger hate the most?”

Mary Beth thought. “He hates to be teased about girls,” she said.

“Exactly!” said Molly. “I think we should pretend to be a girl who likes him a lot. We can write him real mushy notes and he’ll hate it!”

“Will we sign our names?” asked her friend.

“Of course not!” said Molly in alarm. “We’ll put ‘from an admirer.’ ”

“Then he’ll think some girl is after him,” said Mary Beth, “and he’ll hate it!”

Molly nodded. “And the best part is, it
isn’t
real
mean or nasty, it’s just a little bit nasty. I mean my mom and dad wouldn’t like us to do something really bad.”

“I don’t think we should tell them, though,” said Mary Beth.

“Of course not!” said Molly.

Mary Beth ran to get her perfumed notes and envelopes, the ones with the flowers on them.

“I’ll do the writing,” said Molly. “I think we should write at least three mushy notes and put them in his mailbox one at a time.”

“We could put one in his desk,” said Mary Beth.

“Good idea,” said Molly. She wrote, “Dear Roger,” and then she frowned. “I don’t know how to write mushy stuff,” she said.

“Let’s go down to the drugstore and
look at the greeting cards,” said Mary Beth. “We can copy those.”

The girls dashed downtown. There were racks and racks of cards in the store. They went to the ones that said “Husbands, Wives, Loved Ones.” One by one they read them.

“Here’s a good one!” said Molly. “Listen. ‘I dream of you all night and day. Come be my love and make my day. Happy birthday.’ ”

“Let’s leave off the ‘happy birthday’ part,” said Mary Beth sensibly.

Molly copied the rest of it. “We need two more,” she said.

“Here is an anniversary greeting ‘to my wife,’ ” said Mary Beth. “We can just use the verse. ‘You’ve been by my side, through joy and tears. Let’s love each other for many more years.’ ”

“Have we been by his side?” asked Molly, frowning.

Mary Beth stamped her foot. “This is a trick,” she said. “It’s not a lie-detector test!”

“Okay,” said Molly. “Now number three.”

“ ‘For one I love from afar,’ ” read Mary Beth. “ ‘A secret pal.’ ” She picked it up.

“ ‘I’ve loved you in secret, my heart has been true. Call me your kitten, if you love me too. Your secret pal.’ I think this is the best one. We should send it last.”

“But he can’t call us his kitten, he won’t know who it is,” said Molly.

“That doesn’t matter!” said Mary Beth. “That’s the joke! He keeps getting these love notes but he’ll never know who sent them! That’s a great April Fools’ trick.”

“Is it too mean?” asked Molly.

Mary Beth shook her head. “It won’t
hurt
him,” she said. “He can just throw them away and not show them to anyone. But it will make him mad, nonetheless.”

“Okay,” said Molly, copying all three cards. Just as she was finishing, a clerk came over and said, “You’re supposed to buy the cards, not copy them.”

“We’re just leaving,” said Mary Beth sweetly.

Mary Beth seems better at planning tricks than I am, thought Molly.

When they got back to Mary Beth’s, Molly copied the three verses on three different pieces of Mary Beth’s flowered smelly stationery. They put each into an envelope and wrote “Roger White” on the front.

“Thursday is April Fools’,” Molly said. “Let’s deliver them the night before.”

On Wednesday after school, the girls
went to Roger’s house. When no one was around, Molly snuck up to the mailbox and slipped the first envelope into the box. Then the girls ran home.