Eggs Benedict Arnold (4 page)

Petra stared directly at Doogie and said in an accusatory tone,
“
This could have easily been a double murder, Sheriff.
”

Doogie lifted both hands to belly level and made a calm
ing gesture.
“
Now we don
’
t know anything like that. But I
’
m going to go ahead and treat this as a crime scene
…
. give it some serious investigation.
”

“
You
’
re going to call in the state crime lab?
”
asked George Draper. He hadn
’
t said anything up to this point. Now he looked colossally unhappy.

“
First things first,
”
Doogie told Draper.
“
First thing I want to do is go back in there and take my own look-see. Is there anyone else besides you and Ozzie who worked back there?
”

“
Ozzie had a sort of lab assistant,
”
said Draper.
“
A young
man he
’
d taken an interest in. Helped him, really. Fellow by the name of Bo Becker. I think Ozzie was hoping Bo might study for a degree as a
di
e
ner.
”

“
Get him in here,
”
said Doogie.

When
Sheriff Doogie
, Deputy Halpern
and George Draper trooped back into the embalming room, Suzanne didn
’
t hesitate to follow. Petra was a little more reluctant. Doogie placed a black leather case on a rolling metal
cart that normally held hemostats, dissecting scissors, and
rib cutters.

As Doogie dug around inside his case, Suzanne asked,
“
Are you doing
CSI
stuff now?
”
She was feeling better. Not
chipper, but definitely curious. And angry, too. After all, someone had tried to do her serious harm.

“
Don
’
t call it that,
”
huffed Doogie.
“
Ever since that TV show, people put too much stock in all the whiz-bang assays and tests and electron microscope stuff. They don
’
t
realize it
’
s good old legwork and deductive reasoning that
really solves crimes.
”

“
So what
’
s your deductive reasoning on this?
”
Suzanne asked him.

“
Just hold on,
”
grunted Doogie.
“
First thing I want to do is take a careful look. You can learn a lot just through simple observation.
”
He pulled a light from his case and untangled a long black cord.

“
What
’
s that?
”
asked Suzanne.

“
UV black light,
”
said Doogie.
“
These days, a county sheriff
’
s got to be prepared for anything.
”

Suzanne had to agree. Kindred had been a sleepy small
town for more years than she could remember. Now, like
a bolt from the blue, they had a ripped-from-the-headlines
type of murder on their hands.

“
Kill the lights, will you?
”
Doogie instructed his deputy.
The deputy, stumbling over his size-fourteen feet, hurried to comply.

Doogie flicked the switch on his SPEX Mini-Crime-Scope 400, shone it on Ozzie
’
s knees, then slowly ran it up the length of Ozzie
’
s body. Everyone clustered behind
Doogie, holding their breath. They weren
’
t sure what Doo
gie was going to find, but they were watching his every mo
tion with rapt attention.

“
Anything
?
”
asked
the
deputy. He sounded wistful, like
he
’
d been purposely left out of the action.

Doogie continued to run the light across Ozzie
’
s neck
and up onto his face. Hesitating for a split second, Doo
gie ran the light in a circle,
the
n his eyes widened and his jaw dropped onto his second chin.
“
Oh, horse pucky!
”
he
exclaimed.

Chapter three

“
What?
”
demanded Suzanne. She
’
d been standing behind
Doogie at a somewhat respectable distance. Now she elbowed forward.

One side of Doogie
’
s mouth was pulled up in a petulant
snarl.
“
You see this?
”
he muttered to his deputy. But Su
zanne and Petra had already moved in, essentially crowding
out the deputy. Doogie switched the black light to his left hand and pointed a pudgy index finger at Ozzie
’
s mouth.

Suzanne, Petra, and the deputy all peered forward and gave slow nods. Doogie
’
s light had revealed a few tiny white specks. Suzanne wondered if they were faint remnants of food or toothpaste or some type of drug Ozzie might have ingested or been force-fed.

But Doogie quickly answered her question.

“
Somebody put sticky tape over Ozzie
’
s mouth,
”
Doogie said slowly. It seemed to be dawning on him that this
was the pivotal point where taking a look-see had suddenly
turned into a full-fledged murder investigation.

Now Doogie was more aggressive with his study. He
shone the light slowly across every part of Ozzie
’
s body, re
turning again and again to certain areas.
“
Doggone,
”
muttered Doogie.
“
Stuff
’
s on his wrists and ankles, too.
”

Deputy Halpern
’
s face had blanched white and he looked a little shaky.

“
So what exactly are you saying?
”
pressed Suzanne. There was a nasty churn in the pit of her stomach. She
wasn
’
t sure if it was the residual effect of the chloroform or
just the psychic shock of gazing at Ozzie
’
s dead body and
knowing he was for sure murdered. But Suzanne mustered
her inner grit and forced herself to focus. She wanted to
hear an explanation directly from the sheriff
’
s own mouth.

Doogie snapped off the black light and gazed directly at Suzanne with tired, hooded eyes.
“
Some maniac tied Ozzie
down before draining his blood.
”

You could have heard a pin drop.

“
So murder, not suicide,
”
murmured Suzanne. She glanced
at Deputy Halpern and took a certain amount of grim satisfaction in the fact that he looked awfully green around the gills.

“
Gotta call the state crime lab in on this,
”
said Sheriff Doogie.
‘
This is a bad situation. We
’
re gonna need technical assistance.
”
He clumped across the room, hit the light switch.

Everyone blinked when the overhead fluorescents
buzzed on. Under the suddenly glaring lights, the stainless
steel looked much harsher and Ozzie
’
s body looked even more pathetic.

“
I
’
m going to wait outside with Mr. Draper,
”
Petra told Suzanne, slipping away.

Suzanne nodded, but resolutely remained in the em
balming room. She watched as Halpern packed up Doogie
’
s
case, listened halfheartedly as Doogie made his phone call
to alert the guys at the state crime lab.

But curiosity had also sunk its talons into Suzanne. It was the first time she
’
d ever been in an embalming room
and she was finding it fascinating, if not a little grim and
unnerving. Wandering about the room, she glanced at head
blocks and bottles of arterial fluid, winced at the overhead
Stryker saw.

Doogie hung up the phone, sneezed, pulled a hanky from his back pocket, and let loose a loud honk.
“
They
’
ll be here in an hour.
”

“
What
’
s that?
”
asked Suzanne.

“
State crime lab,
”
said Doogie, sniffling slightly.

“
No, I mean in the sink,
”
said Suzanne. She pointed to
ward one of a pair of deep, stainless-steel sinks. There appeared to be a soggy mess of ashes in the bottom of one.

Doogie shook his head, muttered the words,
“
Doggone
hay fever,
”
then peered into the sink and grimaced.
“
What is that crap?
”
He sounded surprised.

‘
That
’
s what I just asked you,
”
said Suzanne.

“
Something was burned in there, then got doused with water,
”
Doogie mused.

Deputy Halpern looked over, eager to be more involved.
“
You want me to clean it up?
”

“
No!
”
snapped Doogie.
“
We gotta bag it.
”
He sneezed
and glanced around the room.
“
In fact, we better start bag
ging everything.
”

“
Even what
’
s left of the cherry pie?
”
asked Halpern.

“
Wilbur,
”
said Doogie, and this time he sounded both cranky and tired,
“
just use a little common sense, will you?
”

A few minutes later George Draper appeared with the hastily summoned Bo Becker. Becker was young, maybe twenty or twenty-one, and good-looking in a blond surfer boy kind of way. He wore pegged jeans, a black T-shirt,
and motorcycle boots. Suzanne almost expected to see a
cigarette pack, maybe Lucky Strikes, rolled up in his shirt
sleeve.

“
Somebody killed Ozzie?
”
Becker sounded suitably shocked and his expression was wary.

“
You know anything about that?
”
asked Sheriff Doogie.

Bo Becker glared in Doogie
’
s direction.
“
You accusing me of something, Sheriff?
”

“
We have a wrongful death on our hands,
”
said Doogie
in a somewhat matter-of-fact tone.
“
And quite possibly a number of suspects. If someone in this room is privy to information concerning Ozzie Driesden
’
s death, it might
be best to get it out on the table now. Since it
’
s only a mat
ter of time before we start handing down indictments and
making arrests.
”
He stared forcefully at Becker.
“
So, young
man, we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard
way. It
’
s entirely up to you.
”

“
Don
’
t try to intimidate me,
”
snorted Becker,
“
because I don
’
t know squat about this.
”
He shook his head like a swarm of gnats was attacking him.
“
Heck, I
liked
Ozzie.
He gave me a job when not many folks around here would even talk to me. So why would I want to go and kill him?
Spoil a good thing? What
’
s my motive, smart guy?
”

“
You don
’
t need a motive,
”
said George Draper, finally
speaking up.
“
You
’
ve been in trouble before. You have a record.
”

Doogie scratched the side of his face and cocked a keen
eye toward Becker.
“
Izat so?
”

“
Give me a break,
”
said Becker.
“
That was penny-ante
shit. Reform school stuff.
”

“
Statistics prove that petty criminals almost always
graduate to committing felonies,
”
said Doogie. He sounded
like he was reading from a Criminal Justice 101 textbook.

“
Shove your statistics where the sun don
’
t shine,
”
snarled Becker, radiating hostility.

Doogie responded with a thin, reptilian smile, then said,
“
I think we ought to finish our conversation in a more con
ducive environment. Say, down at the law enforcement
center?
”
He glanced at Suzanne.
“
I
’
ll be in touch with you
later.
”

“
Sure,
”
said Suzanne, still feeling a little dazed. She walked past the tumbled boxes, the smeared cherry pie, through the door, and out into the entry hall.

Petra, who was sitting primly on the fainting couch, gave Suzanne a baleful look.
“
Somebody
’
s going to have
to tell Missy,
”
she said in a quiet, gentle voice. Missy, Me
lissa Langston, was Ozzie Driesden
’
s girlfriend. Although things seemed to have cooled between the two of them in the past few weeks, Missy would certainly have to be informed. Had the right to be informed.

“
Oh man,
”
said Suzanne, making a slight grimace. She knew Ozzie
’
s death was going to come as a terrible blow to Missy.

“
We could have Sheriff Doogie stop by,
”
suggested
Petra, who was standing now, more than ready to leave.

“
Or I
’
d be happy to speak with Missy,
”
volunteered
George Draper, as he shepherded them toward the door.

Suzanne and Petra exchanged glances, then Suzanne nodded.
“
Thank you,
”
she told Draper.
“
I think that might be best.
”
Suzanne was grateful that Draper had so willingly stepped in. He was trained to deal with death and
grief, while Sheriff Doogie, as messenger, might just drop
the news on Missy like a hot potato. Or handle it like that old joke about the woman who received a telegram then
begged the messenger to please sing it to her, because she
’
d
always wanted a singing telegram. The punch line of the
joke, of course, was,
“
Da, da, da, da, dum, Fred and the
kids are dead.
”

“
Maybe we could ...
”
began Petra. She was positioned
at the front door, about to turn the knob, when it suddenly
flew open.

“
Oh dear,
”
Draper murmured from behind them, as he recognized the woman who
’
d suddenly appeared in the
doorway.

A plump woman with tough
, gray, Brillo-pad hair
and
wearing a bright purple dress stared silently at Petra and
Suzanne. She cradled a large bouquet of pink and white
Stargazer lilies in her arms.