Effortless (7 page)

I couldn’t stop the awful words from pouring out. The air was sucked right out of the room within seconds. Guilt surged through me at lightning speed. My mouth had a way of running off on a tangent when I became overemotional. I regretted every syllable.

“Alastair, I’m…it’s just when you’re quiet and shut me out like you did in the car it bothers me. You know how I get when I start overthinking.”

Cloudy, tortured eyes held my remorseful gaze before shifting their attention to the floor. “Is that how you think people look at us? That you’re just a conquest for me? Someone I don’t deserve to have in my life?”

He paled, sending me into a panic. I bolted across the room and held his face.

“I shouldn’t have said that. You know you deserve me.”

He looked away, disbelieving my words. Nausea rolled my stomach. I could never stand it when Stephanie played on my deepest fears and here I was, doing exactly that to the man I loved. “Hey,” I whispered, stroking his cheek. “Look at me.”

Swallowing hard, he did as I asked. The love that burned in his eyes dimmed. “This isn’t going to get any easier, Lia. The public curiosity will be insatiable. You’re like a new toy for the press to play with.”

“I can handle it.”

“You’re not in Orlando anymore. This isn’t some online blog run by a small time reporter. These people are relentless. They’ll use you to get to me because they know I’m vulnerable now.”

“Are you saying you don’t want to marry me?” I couldn’t even get the words out.

“Amelia.” He cupped the back of my neck. “At some point you might be wondering why
you
want to marry
me
.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’d marry you tonight if you wanted. You need to stop it with the paranoia about my leaving you.”

He scowled. “One headline called you a piece of arm candy and you couldn’t handle it. The skeletons in my closet will always be there for you to use as ammunition.” He stared at me with no emotion. “Get changed so we can leave soon.” With that, he left the room.

Well, this night was getting better and better by the second, wasn’t it? He had a point though. I went right for the jugular the second I felt threatened by his silence and the unknown. Grabbing a dark red cotton dress from the closet, I changed and went to the living room. Alastair stood by the fireplace, holding one of the framed photos of us I’d put out. A weird sense of deja vu consumed me. I went over to him and placed my hand on his back, feeling the warmth of his skin bleed through the cotton shirt.

Turning, he lifted an eyebrow and looked right through me, leaving a chill in my bones. He was angry and rightfully so. Desperation to make things right bubbled through me. Leaning close, I kissed the corner of his mouth. “Do we have time to make up before we go?”

Placing the photo back on the mantel, he traced his dark gaze down to the hem of my dress and back up. The tiny hairs on my arm stood at attention when he skimmed his fingers along my skin. I wet my lips as a reflex, knowing it would elicit a soft moan from him. Hovering his lips above mine, he parted them. I did the same, anticipating his kiss. He pulled back just as our mouths were about to touch. The denial made my lower abdomen clench.

Stroking my cheek, his intense stare burned through me. He slanted his head and leaned in again. I trembled with want when his damp, warm breath tickled the edge of my parted lips. Tilting his head away, he denied me a second time. I could feel the tremendous vibrations of my heart in my throat. He was toying with me. I reached up to touch him and was halted by his firm grasp.

“Kiss me,” I begged, arching my back so I pressed against his chest. “Please.”

“Why do you doubt my love for you?”

“I don’t. I would never doubt that.”

“I know you’re frustrated. So am I. Neither one of us handled this well.” His eyes hardened to stone. “And I know you would never doubt how I feel about you but—” He faltered, catching himself and reeling in any trace of emotion. “I hate arguing with you.”

Caught in his dark stare, I leaned closer, pulled to him by the unrelenting magnetic force that connected us. “I’m sorry.”

Our lips were on the brink of touching but he restrained me with such force I couldn’t get what I wanted. My arms ached from his powerful hold. I didn’t fight him. I couldn’t. He was in control and I had no choice but to pay for my words.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” he asked, releasing my arms and tracing his thumb over my mouth.

“More than anything,” I whispered, losing myself in his feather light touch. “Please don’t be angry with me.”

Softening his expression, Alastair tipped my chin up. “I’m not angry.” A wicked grin curled his sculpted lips, which he’d now poised dangerously close to mine. “I will kiss you. But not now. And when I do, it will be much more than a kiss. Let’s go.”

Following him out the door on shaky legs, I remained in a silent daze on the ride over to Brent’s. I didn’t register where he lived or pay much attention to the building. I was so hot and bothered by Alastair’s impromptu game that I almost didn’t greet Brent when he opened the door. Finding my composure, I smiled in the most pleasant way I could and walked into the foyer.

Brent led us through a large sitting room that was draped in sleek, modern decorations. Large French doors led out to a brick patio that must be great to use when entertaining on a warm summer night. Too bad it was a bit chilly out tonight. Music and laughter wafted in from another room.

“Everyone’s in here,” Brent said, leading us toward the rest of the guests. I noticed a gorgeous spiral staircase and wondered if he’d give us the whole tour.

The main living room had an open, airy floor plan that blended into the kitchen. I saw Stephanie chatting with her boss, Cassie, by the breakfast bar. The unmistakable sound of someone knocking a glass with a spoon or butter knife filled the air. I cringed, turning toward the noise and saw that Brent was the source.

Alastair stood next to me with a possessive arm wrapped around my waist.

“Everyone,” Brent said.

The guests quieted down and glanced in our direction. All of them knew who Alastair was but looked at me with growing curiosity.

“I know this was just going to be a quiet little gathering but I have exciting news.” Brent smiled at me and I almost bolted out the door. “Someone has tamed the elusive Alastair Holden. This is Amelia Meyers, the new executive producer for The Archer Hour. Let me be the first to congratulation her and Alastair on their engagement.”

Quiet shock filled the room for several seconds before some of the guests whispered to each other. A few of the women looked me up and down and shook their heads almost in sympathy. I stiffened, knowing that Alastair’s reputation still preceded him. Brent signaled to a young man dressed in all black. He scurried over carrying a tray with two filled champagne flutes.

Concentrating as hard as I could, I lifted a glass for myself and waited for Alastair to grab his.

“A toast,” Brent said, raising his glass, “to the soon to be Mr. And Mrs. Holden. Here’s to a lifetime of happiness.”

This had to be the most awkward, insincere toast I’d ever witnessed. People sipped and stared and then went about their business, throwing quick glances at me over their shoulders. I downed the champagne in one gulp, wishing the floor would swallow me whole. Now I knew why Alastair would make an appearance at these things and leave after only twenty minutes.

“Congratulations.”

My heart froze upon hearing that light, airy voice. Olivia walked into view seconds later, smiling at both of us.

I thought maybe I was being punk’d or having one of those lucid dreams where I was aware of everything happening around me but couldn’t fully wake up. Olivia stood in front of us, smiling as though this was as normal as breathing.

“This is really very exciting,” she gushed. “Have you set a date?”

“No,” Alastair answered, shooting her a warning glance.

She moved closer to me and placed her hand on my arm. Her fingers were so cold and bony it made me uncomfortable. “If I were you, I’d run off to the Maldives or somewhere gorgeous and warm. Sergio wanted an autumn wedding in Italy otherwise I’d have it on a tropical island.”

I smiled, I think, and made a little noise that I hoped sounded like a laugh.

“Did you get my invitation, Lia?” Olivia released my arm and looked at me with her big, round blue eyes.

Alastair’s grip on my waist tightened. I inhaled slowly, hoping to keep an impassive expression on my face. “I did. Thank you for inviting me but—”

“I hope you can come. I don’t have many girl friends and Brent always says such nice things about you. Besides, it could be a chance for us to get to know one another better. I feel horrible our meeting in New York was so,” she paused, “brief.”

I couldn’t get a definite read on what her end game was. She sounded genuine and wasn’t looking at Alastair in that wistful, lovesick way she’d done at the restaurant in New York. In fact, she barely acknowledged his existence.

“At least consider it.” Her smile added a soft glow to her already ethereal aura. Maybe the champagne bubbles had gone to my head too fast.

“There you are.” Stephanie descended on us like angel from heaven. “That was awfully nice of your brother to say those kind words, wasn’t it?” she asked, dazzling Olivia with her brightest smile.

“Absolutely,” she grinned. “I’m going to mingle a bit but hope to catch up with you all later.”

She hadn’t been gone more than five seconds when Alastair planted a brusque kiss on my temple and excused himself. I watched him disappear around the corner and fought an urge to follow him.

“What’s up with Stony McStoic?” Stephanie asked, folding her arms.

“Oh, let’s see. He’s at the home of a guy he doesn’t like who took it upon himself to announce our engagement to a room full of snobby people. And, wait for it, his ex-girlfriend is also here and decided to chat with us like we’re all a bunch of old college friends at a reunion. Pick one.”

“Okay, okay,” she held up her hands, “it was a stupid question.”

“So how did this party slip your mind?” I gave her a look.

Chewing on her bottom lip, Stephanie searched the room for an answer that wouldn’t come. “I really wasn’t planning on coming. He asked me last week and I told him maybe. Then he asked me again at lunch the other day and I said maybe and then he showed up at my office and…he doesn’t really take too well to hearing ‘no.’”

“I know that all too well,” I muttered.

“This will be painless. You can hang out with me all night if that helps.”

I rolled my neck in the hopes it would relieve some of the tension. Stephanie sighed and put on her I’m-going-to-make-it-all-better face.

“You’re handling yourself really well, Lia. I’m serious. I mean, I can tell you’re pissed off and uncomfortable because I know you but these other people have no clue. You’re almost as good at the blank look as Alastair.”

I snorted. “Really? I pretty much assumed I looked like a deer in headlights.”

“Nope. You only get that look when you’re thinking of sexy time with your man.”

My jaw dropped. Stephanie laughed so loud some people nearby gave her a dirty look.

“It was just a hunch. Thanks for confirming it.”

Shaking my head, I laughed with her. The absurdity of this night began to outweigh the stress. “I’m so glad you’re here. It was bad enough when I had to rub elbows with all the hoity-toity people Nathan knew. I mean, I can talk to anybody but I was not in the mood for this tonight.”

“I hear ya,” she said, slinging her arm around my shoulders. “Sorry I opened my big yap about your engagement in front of Brent. I know how private Alastair is.”

“It was bound to come out sooner or later.”

“Will you two be leaving early? I know you said he was away all week. I’m sure this wasn’t how he wanted to spend his Friday night.”

“I’m keeping my fingers crossed we can leave in the next half hour.” I sighed. “Tonight has just completely gone off the rails.”

“What happened?”

I flicked my wrist to ward off her question. “Nothing. Just a misunderstanding.”

“Try not to let it bug you. I know what a massive over thinker you are.” She gave my shoulder a quick squeeze. “This is a hot little dress. Go find that fiancé of yours and loosen him up. I’m going to shake some hands and network.”

I smiled at my vivacious best friend as she glided across the room, greeting complete strangers with ease. Her idea of finding Alastair and loosening him up was great one. Making my way through the room I was stopped a few times and congratulated by some of the people. They were mostly employees at Summit and some of them seemed nice enough. Although one woman gave me such a sour look my mouth almost puckered.

“I know you.”

I turned toward the unfamiliar voice and found myself face to face with a young guy in jeans and a sweater.

“Yeah,” he smiled, “we met at some cocktail party last spring. I bought you all those martinis and then you disappeared. Broke my heart.”

Remembering that night was a bit of struggle thanks to ‘all those martinis’ so I couldn’t for the life of me place this guy.

“I’m really sorry, I don’t—”

“Remember,” he finished for me. “That’s understandable. You’ve been swept off your feet by the billionaire playboy. Although I do remember you fancied rubbing my head. Should’ve grabbed you and kissed you when I had the chance.” He sauntered away and started talking to group of guys. I remained frozen in place for a few seconds.

Rubbed his head? Oh God…Bill-Jack.

I was stopped by another one of Brent’s employees named Tania who worked in his media relations department. She joked with me about how Brent always hands out his business card to television or radio people when he goes on interviews.

“It’s his version of recruiting,” she laughed.

“That’s not a bad way to find new talent. Nobody knows the media like someone who works in it.”

“Very true. In all seriousness, if you ever get sick of Archer, give us a call. One of our account executives is going on maternity leave at the end of the month. We’re thinking of bringing someone in to handle her accounts and then hire on full time after she returns.”

“Well, thanks but I’m okay where I am now.”

Tania regarded me shrewdly. “You know Archer is a right prat. Likes to feel up the ladies when nobody’s looking. You’re a pretty little thing. He’ll have his hands on that hourglass figure of yours in no time. I’d be careful.”

Great. What started out as a fun conversation had gone downhill fast. I politely excused myself to regroup in a corner. I almost wished I was in a room filled with politicians instead of these people. Not all of them were bad but the staring and the whispers were getting on my nerves. I helped myself to a glass of sparkling wine and scanned the room for Stephanie and Alastair. Both of them had vanished.

“Fantastic,” I muttered, leaving the empty glass on an end table.

“Lia.”

I turned, coming face to face with none other than Sarah Everett, the vice president at Stephanie and Darren’s agency.

Could this night get any more awesome?

The blonde with the over-glossed lips grinned at me in the same disingenuous way she’d done at the charity benefit when I bumped into her in the ladies’ room. Images of that picture with her wrapped around Alastair from his grandfather’s retirement party saturated my memory. I clenched my hands so tight my fingernails dug into the skin.

“You’ve done the impossible. I thought Alastair would remain unattached forever.” She frowned, looking me up and down. “You’ve broken quite a few hearts in this city.”

I bit back an acrid response for two reasons: she wasn’t worth it and I didn’t want to make a scene in a room where every eye was focused on me.

Her chin lifted. “Your friend Stephanie speaks very highly of you in the office. I’m sorry you and I haven’t run into one another yet in the building. We should plan to have lunch one day next week. We’re considering partnering with The Archer Hour for some magazine adverts in the coming months. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the direction of the program.”

I’d rather dance barefoot on hot coal
.

“Sure. Give me a call on Monday.” I hoped to God that didn’t sound forced.

“Brilliant.” She smiled. “And really, my sincerest congratulations. You must be one special woman to have melted the ice man.”

Sarah sauntered off, leaving me annoyed and fed up with this damn party and these people. I knew she’d been trying to land Alastair for years. Being here played on my insecurities more than I anticipated. Knowing that Olivia and now Sarah were hovering close to a man they lusted after made my skin prickle with jealousy. I became suspicious of every woman in the room, wondering which one had spent a hot night with the billionaire orphan. I shouldn’t feel this way at all but it was impossible to ignore his
I-don’t-date-I-just-get-laid
reputation.

Stop it. He’s marrying me, not them
.

Brushing off the self-doubt, I made my way toward the front hall.

“I wonder what the grandfather thinks of her,” I overheard someone say as I walked past a group of partygoers. “He might not be too keen on leaving his precious empire in the hands of some American who spread her legs for his grandson.”

I whipped around to see which one of these pretentious assholes said that. Too bad none of them had the balls to look me in the eye.

“That’s what I thought,” I said, glaring in their direction. “No class cowards.”

A couple of the guys fidgeted with their ties and broke away from the group. One woman smiled at me in sympathy before walking toward the bar.

Slipping out into the main foyer I exhaled and gathered my wits. I was letting all of this external noise affect me too much. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been scrutinized by high society men and women before. Maybe I just didn’t notice it as much because I’d been so damn dazzled by Nathan and all the parties he’d brought me to had hundreds of attendees, not a couple dozen. Then again, I was in Alastair’s world now. I hadn’t been subjected to it yet and really didn’t know what to expect. The Holden World Media spotlight burned bright and I was the newest attraction in the center of the ring.

I sat on one of the steps on the spiral staircase and wondered what my friends in Orlando were doing. A pang of sadness swept through me. I did miss them but knew this was where I belonged now.

As I stood up, I could hear voices coming from upstairs and figured maybe that’s where Stephanie and Alastair went. When I reached the landing at the top I didn’t see anyone. The second floor was just as beautiful as the main one. I had to hand it to these guys, they knew how to live the good life. I noticed the bathroom was to my left so I took the opportunity to use it. The voices I thought I’d heard sounded again. They were coming from an open window next to the sink. Curious to know who it was, I went closer to the window. The voices became clearer. I peeked out and noticed a balcony but couldn’t see anybody.

“I want her to be there.”

My heart seized.
That’s Olivia’s voice
.

“You had no business inviting her. I asked you to respect the boundaries we agreed upon and still you defy me.”

Alastair.

“I don’t see the harm in this,” Olivia whined. “I like her. She seems nice and I think we could become friends.”

I heard the bitterness in Alastair’s laugh. “Do you know how fucked up that is? You and I aren’t even friends. I sure as hell don’t want you anywhere near Lia.”

“You’re being paranoid. I’m not going to say anything to her about our past, remember? You made that crystal clear when you flew out here in a panic this summer.”

I clutched onto the windowsill. I’d always suspected that was why he’d disappeared to London for two days. Hearing it still stung though.

“Christ,” he muttered. “I’m not discussing that again.”

The sound of heels clicking on stone resonated through the night. She must have been pacing.

“Just stay away from her. Please.”

The pacing stopped.

“Why does it have to be this way between us, Alastair? So much time has passed. Can’t you just—”

“I am not risking my relationship with the only woman I’ve ever truly loved just because you want me to forget about everything that happened with us. It
has
been a long time yet you still find ways to antagonize the situation. I’ll say it again. Leave her alone.”

“You mean to tell me she satisfies you in every way?”

Thick silence bullied its way through the night, reaching in through the window and suffocating me.
I should go before I hear anything I don’t want to know
.

“Do you miss it, Alastair? Do you miss the excitement and lack of inhibition of what we did? I can’t even count how many weekends we never left the bed—”

“That’s enough,” he snapped.

“You’ll get tired of her. I know you. Being with the same person isn’t your style. It’s not something you can survive on for the rest of your life.” Her heels sounded off the stone again. I could only assume she was moving closer to him. The thought made my skin crawl.

“Tell me again, what you said to me that night in the French Riviera.” Her words oozed with seduction and temptation.

“No.” I heard shoes scuffle and scrape. “This conversation is over.”

“I’m the one who should be with you, not her. After everything we shared together, I should be your fiancée.” Her loud declaration filled the night air. “Don’t you ever forget about that, Alastair. You asked me first.”

I sat down hard on the edge of the bathtub.
Asked her first?