Effortless (3 page)

He’d only been nineteen at the time, away from their torture for
only a year, since he’d run away to Los Angeles right after high
school. Nearly right after the ceremony from the way he told the
story. And he hadn’t told them he was leaving, he’d just done it.
They’d never even searched for him. Kellan had told me once that
when he finally had called them, to let them know that he was, at
the very least, still alive, they hadn’t sounded like they had
cared either way, like they’d done their jobs and he could live or
die on his own. It was a miracle Kellan wasn’t completely messed
up.

Jerks.

Griffin coming up and clapping Kellan on the back snapped me out
of my dark thoughts. With Matt and Rachel behind him, he pointed to
a band playing in the distance. I could hear the heavy rock beat in
the sweltering air. “We’re gonna go check out some of the other
bands. Comin’?”

Kellan looked back at Evan and Jenny, but they were sappily
gazing at each other, absorbed in some quiet conversation that I
couldn’t hear with the multitude of bodies walking back and forth
around our group. A few females passing by looked at the four guys
like they seemed familiar, but none of them stopped for more than a
couple of seconds.

Looking down at me, Kellan started to ask me what I wanted to
do. My body answered for me. My stomach growled so loud that even
Jenny broke away from her tender moment to laugh. I closed my eyes
for a moment while I felt Kellan’s body chuckling softly at me.
Cracking just one eye open, I attempted to glare at him. He found
that even funnier and laughed a little harder.

Glancing up at Griffin, Kellan shook his head. “I think we’ll
get something to eat first.” Smacking Griffin’s back, he added,
“We’ll catch up with you later.”

 After watching the physically similar cousins walk off,
melding into the crowd around them, Kellan smiled down at me.
“Should we get some food in you, noisy?”

I smirked and rolled my eyes, but then his lips were on mine and
I couldn’t have cared that he’d been teasing me. With his hand
brushing over my cheek as he ran his fingers through the hair above
my ear, his warm lips expertly leading mine as he forced a small
space between our mouths, and the tip of his tongue flicking out to
briefly touch mine, I didn’t care about much of anything
anymore.

My hand reached up to securely tighten in his hair. I tried to
angle him so his gently probing tongue was all over mine. All over
my body would be nice too. Chuckling, he broke free from my mouth.
Surprisingly, just that brief intimacy had my heart racing and my
breath faster. It took so little for him to turn me right on.

Grinning crookedly, he tilted his head. “Do you need a minute?”
he whispered, raising an eyebrow.

Gathering my senses, I smacked his chest and started to storm
off. Wasn’t I just thinking earlier that I needed to work on not
letting Kellan so completely absorb me? Hmmm, I had a feeling I’d
be working on that one for a while. Feeling a little dazed, I
headed off to where I thought the food was. Laughing a little
harder, Kellan grabbed my elbow and twisted me the other way.

Smiling in that seductive, devilish way that he could, he nodded
his head up the concrete path, opposite of where I’d been going.
“Food’s that way.” His smile widening, he added, “Unless you had
something else in mind?” I instantly pictured finding a secluded
spot in this massive campus and letting that tongue do…all sorts of
marvelous, wondrous things to me. My breath stuttered a bit.

Shaking my head out of my steamy thoughts, I started marching up
the path towards the one craving I’d let myself cave into here. I
was not about to indulge in public sex with my rock star boyfriend.
As much as he would like that, I did have some self control.

Still chuckling, still amused by me, Kellan easily caught up and
slung his arm back around my waist. Smiling down at me as Evan and
Jenny fell into step behind us, he murmured, “So adorable. What
am
I going to do with you?”

By the time we’d reached the pizza stands, I’d thought of at
least a half dozen things he could do to me.

Once we were all full of food and music, and enough memories to
cement this day into our brains forever, we all met back up at the
staging area so the guys could get their instruments. Well, not
Evan. Drums weren’t as portable as the other instruments, so one
set was brought in for all of the bands to use. Except the big acts
at the end of the night. They would take the time to bring in their
own.

With Matt, Griffin and Kellan all having guitar cases slung over
their backs, our group earned a lot more attention than before.
They did have a special area for band members to exit the park that
wasn’t quite so public, but Griffin, being Griffin, insisted on
heading out the main gate. Out of all of them, Griffin enjoyed the
limelight the most. He was already living up his fifteen
minutes.

Stopping for a few more autographs and pictures, it seemed to
take forever to get to the parking lot. But eventually, we did.
Jenny gave me a quick hug, telling me that she’d see me tomorrow at
work. Evan then gave me a huge bear hug, also jokingly telling me
that he’d see me tomorrow at work.

Smiling at them, I waved goodbye as they headed off together in
Jenny’s car, probably on their way to Pete’s, since Jenny had to
work tonight. I’d gotten the night off, so I could spend the
evening with Kellan. Because of their afternoon gig at Bumbershoot,
Kellan and the guys had the evening off from the bar. Not that that
would stop the rest of the boys from spending the night there
anyway. They could never be peeled away from Pete’s for long.

I congratulated Matt as I gave him a scant, one-armed hug. He
wasn’t as overtly affectionate as Evan was and I tried to respect
the level that he was comfortable with. Smiling shyly at me, he
thanked me for coming. Rachel smiled and waved goodbye as she and
Matt put away Matt and Griffin’s instruments and got into Griffin’s
Vanagon.

Griffin, perhaps seeing that I was doling out hugs to D-Bags,
decided that he wanted to be a D-Bag, too. Checking his breath in
his palm, he started striding over to me. I put my hand out to stop
him, but I think it was more Kellan clearing his throat, quite
loudly, that finally made him pause. Rolling his eyes, Griffin
waved his fingers instead. “We’re going to Pete’s. Catch you guys
later.”

Kellan laughed and clapped him on the back before twisting to
open the door of his sleek muscle car. A 1969 Chevelle Malibu from
what Kellan had repeatedly told me. Shiny black with chrome all
over, it was possibly the only possession, aside from his guitars,
that Kellan cared about. He’d found it cheap in L.A. and had spent
most of his time that first summer of his newfound freedom fixing
it up. It was his pride and joy…and ever since the one time I’d
stolen it, he never let me drive it.

Sliding into the leather bench seat, he glanced over at me as I
slid in too. “Your place or mine?” he asked, exaggerating the
huskiness in his voice.

I laughed as I leaned over to kiss him. Still trying to keep our
relationship on an even keel, instead of bursting right into the
red-hot zone that we so easily could dip into, Kellan and I were
still living apart, still taking things slow. “Mine,” I breathed,
trying to be as sexy as he was, but, I’m sure, failing horribly.
Although, he did bite his lip as he looked over my face. Flushing
instantly, I sat back and ran a loose lock of hair behind my ear.
“Anna’s gonna be late tonight, so we’ll have the place to
ourselves.”

His grin widened as he started the car, the hearty engine
roaring to life, its growl as sexy as Kellan’s smile. Feeling the
heat in my cheeks, I shook my head and added, “School is starting
soon, so I should really start going through my stuff.”

That wasn’t really what I wanted to do tonight, but the
intensity of his gaze was riling my body up, and I hated how much
he could see himself affecting me. I wished I could be more subtle
around him.

Twisting his lip, he seemed to contain a laugh. “Uh-huh, school
stuff. All right. I’m great at…school stuff.” His mouth breaking
out into a heart-stopping grin, he pulled his car away from the
place he’d just completely rocked.

We pulled into the parking area of the apartment that I shared
with Anna about twenty minutes later. Kellan still had a fantastic
smile on his lips as he shut the car off, and I knew he was still a
little high from the adrenaline of being on stage. While I could
think of no greater torture than being the center of attention in
front of hundreds of complete strangers, not to mention singing in
front of said strangers, he lived for it.

He was grinning ear to ear as he met me in front of his car,
humming one of his songs.  Smiling up at him, I looped my arm
through his. I had no desire to live his life, but I would happily
bathe in the aftereffects of it. We’d been through so much in our
path to each other; his joy now brought me joy, too.  I’d much
rather see a delighted smile on his face than tears in his
eyes.

After swishing the door open dramatically, he led me to my tiny
two-bedroom place here. While it was postage-stamp small, it did
have a pretty spectacular view of Lake Union. Following him through
the door, I sighed tiredly and switched the light on. Removing my
purse from around my body, I set it on a small table while Kellan
shut the door. Mere seconds after I was done, my body was jerked
forward and then slammed back into the front door.

I had time to gasp but that was it. Kellan’s body pressed
against every inch of me, his lips hungrily attacking mine. Without
a thought, my fingers snuck up into his hair, twisting around the
long strands. My heart surged forward so fast I thought I might
collapse to the floor. Kellan’s firm grip around me wouldn’t have
allowed that, though. Everywhere, from his chest, to his chiseled
stomach, to his sensuous hips, was flush against mine, pressing
into me like he wished we could be closer.

As the fire in me started to heighten, the arousal I felt for
him burning away every other thought in my head, my breath
quickened. His breath was quick too between our hungry kisses, our
light tongue flicks. Then his hand traveled over my bottom, curving
around my thigh to the back of my knee. Shifting us slightly, he
grabbed my leg and adjusted it up his hip. Lining us up perfectly,
his aroused body pressed into mine, just where I needed it to.

Groaning, I tightened my hands in his hair and firmly attached
my lips to his. A sultry noise escaped his throat, rumbling through
his body as our mouths moved together intently. It stoked the fire
already in me to a boiling point. I needed him. All of him.
Now.

Arching against the door, I broke away from his glorious mouth.
“Kellan,” I moaned out, instantly grateful my sister was not here,
“…bedroom…”

His lips traveled down my throat, his tongue flicking every
erogenous zone on the way down. I groaned again, rubbing myself
against him, trying to dull the ache somehow. A chuckle left his
mouth as the tip of his tongue traced my collarbone. He was
enjoying this, enjoying teasing me. Pushing his shoulders back, I
frowned at him. He cocked an eyebrow at me, the edge of his lip
curving up in a similar manner. It was so incredibly hot,
especially with the desire smoldering in his eyes. No one could do
bedroom eyes like Kellan could.

Then his demeanor completely changed. Smiling playfully, he let
go of my leg that he’d hitched up his side. Tilting his head as he
watched me struggling to breathe like a normal person, he took a
step back. “Are you ever going to move back in with me?” he asked,
his thumb coming up to trace the line his tongue had slid down
earlier.

I blinked at his sudden change of direction, my head feeling
sluggish as it fought against the desire to push him back into the
living room and take him on the monstrously ugly orange couch. I
was pretty sure he’d let me. Wondering if he’d really just asked
about us living together again, I took a side step away from him.
It was also a side step toward the hall, toward my bedroom, and the
smolder in his eyes came back a little.

Smiling impishly, he nodded his head that way. “Because I really
hate having sex on a futon.” Winking, he added, “Not that I won’t,
though.”

Smirking at him, I reached out and grabbed his hand. “You’re the
one that kicked me out,” I said, managing to keep my voice light,
even though the memory was a painful one for me.

Backing us towards the hall, I watched a flash of that pain wash
over his face. It was gone instantly though. Shrugging, he laughed
out, “Well, it sounded like a good idea at the time.”

My hallway was a short one, with my room at the end closest to
the front door. Anna’s room, the larger room, was at the end of the
hall with our tiny, shower-only bathroom in the middle. Kellan’s
place wasn’t all that much bigger, but it seemed like a spacious
mansion in comparison.

Stopping us in front of my closed door, I put my other hand on
his chest. “No, it was.” My hand traveled up his neck to cup his
cheek; he leaned into my touch. “You and I needed space. We needed
to get our heads on straight.”

He smiled a little, then sighed. “Well, now that they are…why
don’t you come back?” His voice lowering, he stepped into my body,
his arms wrapping around my waist. “I know we’ve taken things slow,
but I still want to move forward…with you.”

I swallowed at the warmth in his voice, the love in his eyes. I
wanted that too, I really did, but, I was trying to be a stronger
person, my own person and I knew that if I moved back in with him,
he’d be my world again. I’d drown in him.

Smiling encouragingly, I ran my fingers back through his hair.
The serious look in his eye softened as I caressed him. In as
reassuring of a voice as I could, I softly said, “I think it’s
better if we keep waiting.” Switching my hand to run my thumb over
his cheek, I added, “I’ve sort of come into my own being with my
sister. I don’t want to fall right back into needing a man to
feel…complete.”

I bit my lip, hoping he wasn’t offended. His insanely blue eyes
ghosted over my face, taking in every feature. Inhaling deeply, he
squeezed me a bit tighter. “What if I’m the one that needs you?”
His face was completely, heartbreakingly serious. Shrugging, a tiny
smile broke into his lips. “I hate sleeping alone.”

Even though he’d said
sleeping
alone, I knew it was
more than that. Kellan hated
being
alone. Oddly, it was
something we had in common. But knowing we needed this, I threw on
a bright smile and shook my head. “You’ll be alright.” His tiny
smile curved into a disgruntled one and I laughed, slinging both of
my arms around his neck. “Besides, we almost always end up sleeping
together anyway.”

I flushed bright red after I said it, instantly realizing how
suggestive it sounded. He grinned at me adorably, reaching behind
me to open my bedroom door. Laughing at my comment, he shook his
head. “Exactly.” Pushing my door open, his eyes came back to mine,
playful now. “Think of the gas money we’d save.” He tilted his
head, walking me backwards into my room. “And rent, you wouldn’t
have to pay that, living with me. You could work less, concentrate
on school more.”

He smiled and shrugged, like it made perfect sense. And
logically, it did. Emotionally though, I thought we were in a good
place now and maybe we shouldn’t mess with that. Freeing one hand
to flick on my light, I sighed. “I like my life, Kellan. I finally
feel…well rounded.”

As he closed my door with his foot, his hands slinked down to
cup my backside. Smiling devilishly, he murmured, “Yes, I know,
very well rounded.” I smacked him on the shoulder as he chuckled.
Then he sighed, pulling my body flush to his and kissing me softly.
“Fine.”

I melted into his lips, savoring the taste of him all wrapped up
in the smell of him. Pulling apart, he kicked off his shoes with
his toes and tilted his head at my lumpy futon. “But that seriously
sucks. Can I at least buy you a decent bed?”

Smiling as I stepped out of my flip-flops, I grabbed his hand
and pulled him towards the bed he hated. He was right, it was
lumpy, with a heavy bar in the middle that dug into your back, but
it was a large one and there was plenty of room on it to…roll
around. Backing up to the edge of the futon, I grabbed the bottom
of Kellan’s t-shirt. “Of course. You can even help me break it
in.”

His seductive grin in place, he helped my fingers remove his
clothing. “Hmmm…you may have sold me on this idea.”

Laughing, I ran my hands down the wondrously etched lines in his
chest.  His breath hitched when my fingers traced the black
ink of my name swirled over his heart. Nothing in this world was as
beautiful to me as that tattoo, except the man bearing it.

“Anything that ends with sex, sells you.” I giggled.

Kellan playfully pushed my shoulder back, and I sat down on the
bed that sagged a little in the spot that was technically the
“sitting” area when it was folded up. Scooting into the center of
the bed, the hard support bar apparent under my body, I felt heat
rush through me as Kellan leaned over the edge of the mattress. His
eyes peering up at me, he huskily murmured, “True.”

My breath hitched as I watched him crawl over to me on his hands
and knees. Leaning over me, my breath embarrassingly faster, he
eyes scoured the length of me. Feeling the pure sex appeal
radiating from him, I swallowed. It sometimes amazed and mystified
me that this man was mine, practically any time I wanted him. It
was still a little miraculous to me that out of every person in the
world that he could be with, he’d picked me. I still didn’t see
why.

Smiling as his lips came down to mine and my hands traveled back
up that smooth, perfect chest, I whispered, “Whore.”

He laughed in my mouth as his body settled beside mine. “Tease,”
he breathed, his hand coming up to run through my hair.

I laughed at the terms that we’d once used to hurt each other
with, being used as affectionate phrases now. Things were like that
with Kellan. Cold one minute, red hot the next. Our going slow was
how we were working on keeping the relationship even, consistent.
Kellan didn’t seem at all worried that we’d burn out, but I
sometimes did. After all, he could have anybody. Even if he was
experiencing something with me that he’d never had before—a true,
deep to his core love—a secret, buried part of me knew that now
that he’d been opened up to love, he could find it again with
someone else if he wanted to.

God, I hated that thought.

Pushing back my doubts, I instead concentrated on what I had no
question about. Right now, Kellan wanted me. Right now, Kellan
loved me and only me. And right now, my sister wouldn’t be home for
hours.

Dressed only in his worn denims that hugged him so perfectly,
his sculpted chest above me as he leaned over my body, Kellan
worked his mouth softly against mine as the fingers of his free
hand spun around a dark lock of my hair.

My fingers were busy as well. They’d moved up to his wonderfully
messy head of hair. It was so much fun to bunch it around my
fingers and I couldn’t resist giving him a light tug. He grinned
against my lips. Then my fingers trailed down his neck, enjoying
the lean muscles, and the light pulse of his veins under his skin.
From there they decided to swoop up and over his shoulder blades,
lingering for a moment on the tensing and releasing muscles as he
played with my hair. Their only natural course after that was
straight down his back. My lucky fingers delighted in the smooth,
lean expanse of skin on the way down to his waistband. Of course,
halfway there, they decided to head back up to those shoulder
blades and retrace the path down to his waist. But this time, I
lightly scraped my nails across his flesh instead of the softer,
gentler finger pads.

“Don’t tease me,” he muttered as he sucked on my lower lip.

I laughed lightly as I remembered harshly digging through that
perfect skin once before…in an espresso stand, no less. I felt my
face heat as blood rushed to my cheeks. It was sort of an
embarrassing moment for me. Kellan pulled back from our kiss to
look over my features, probably noticing my flushed cheeks and
understanding my expression. His finger ran along my cheek before
sweeping over my lips. “Do you have any idea what that did to me,
when you scratched me?”

His lip twisted devilishly at the memory while my blush surely
deepened. Not being able to speak, I merely shook my head. He
smiled wider and leaned over to my ear. “I think that’s what made
me come.”

My eyes closed for a second at hearing him say it and I chuckled
despite myself. “I didn’t realize you were so kinky,” I
whispered.

With a smirk he laughed out, “You’re the one that cut me.”

I giggled again, feeling my embarrassment slide off of me with
the laughter. “You’re the one that liked it.”

He kissed my chin gently before pulling back with a raised
eyebrow. “You didn’t enjoy doing that?”

I bit my lip and looked away from the cocky look of self
assurance on his face. Of course I’d like it. It had done as many
amazing things to my body as it had done to his. A tiny bit of
guilt washed through me. I did feel bad for hurting him, for
drawing blood. That was a little more than was called for.

Surprising him, I shoved back his shoulders. He grunted and
said, “Hey,” as he tried to crawl back over to me. Laughing, I kept
him away with one hand while I squirmed out from where I was
partially entangled in his legs. Before he could complain, or
manhandle me back into position, I straddled his hips.