Edge of the Heat 4 (3 page)

“Ok, I can’t take one more picture,” Emma said, half-joking, but mostly not. “Is it time for the wedding yet?”

Grandma Maisie brought them both a wineglass full of water. “Yes, in 15 minutes.”

15 minutes! Anxiety spiked in Emma’s stomach. She looked at Viv, wide-eyed and saw the same deer-in-the-headlights look on her face.

Grandma Maisie laughed. “Relax girls, It’ll be wonderful. Everything’s going perfectly.”

“Where’s my notes?” Emma asked. All 4 of them had decided to write their own vows, and Emma suddenly thought that was the stupidest decision she’d ever made in her life. The water sloshed nauseatingly in her stomach.

Emma saw Vivian whisper something to Cynthia, and Cynthia rush out of the room, then rush back in with Jerry, tall and handsome in his tuxedo, a red rose boutonniere setting off his jacket perfectly.

He beamed at her, and she saw his face crumple from across the room. He walked over and knelt beside her, holding her hand in both of his. “Oh Emma, you look incredible. You are the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”

Tears brimmed and fell from her eyes immediately and every woman in the room exclaimed and searched for tissues.

He pulled her notes from an inside pocket and showed them to her. “Do you want to look them over?”

“Yes please,” she said. “And do we have time for a few pictures with Jerry?” she asked Grandma Maisie.

“Of course dear, the wedding don’t start till the brides get there.”

Emma looked over her notes as Jerry kissed Vivian on the cheek and whispered a few words in her ear.

Jerry knelt next to her chair and rubbed her neck and shoulders. “Don’t worry Em, it’s going to go great,” he said quietly.

She handed her notes back to him and smiled, then nodded to Grandma Maisie. She was ready.

E
mma watched the procession from the window. She heard the strains of Israel Kamakawiwoʻole's
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
play and the tears threatened to come again. She was an absolute wreck. But it was all so beautiful. The bridesmaids, in their cream-colored, floor-length dresses walked slowly, arm in arm with the groomsmen in their navy blue tuxedos. Emma could see the minister standing behind the archway, but not Craig and Hawk. She didn’t know where they were.

Vivian walked over and put her arm around Emma’s waist. “Grandma Maisie wants us outside.”

Emma smiled at her sister and grabbed her hand. This was it.

They walked outside together. Grandma Maisie gave the flower girls final instructions and then sent Vivian off with her parents.

She smiled up at Emma, her eyes soft and kind. “Well my dear, you were never mine to give away, but I am so honored that you asked me to walk with you down the aisle to that good, strong man of yours.”

Emma didn’t trust herself to speak. She squeezed Grandma Maisie’s hand with her free hand. Grandma Maisie understood, and took her arm. They walked slowly around the building to the aisle. Seeing all the people, their lovely faces smiling at her from their chairs, filled her heart with gladness. Everywhere she looked was family, blood relatives she’d gotten to know and love over the last year. These were people who had grown up with her mother, and accepted her and Vivian into their hearts in an instant. Emma couldn’t help it. Even as she smiled the tears dropped down her face, running a path to her chin and probably falling on her gown. She didn’t care. Everything was how it should be.

She looked up and saw that Vivian had made it to the archway and was standing with Hawk, who was gazing at Vivian with love in his eyes.

And then she saw him. Craig. His smile as he watched her walk to him split his face in two. She smiled back, and he mouthed something to her. She wasn’t sure what it was; it could have been “I love you.” His traditional black tuxedo framed him perfectly, and she let her eyes wander over his muscular body, thinking she couldn’t wait to get him alone. And the next time she did, she’d be his wife. Her mind swirled with thoughts.
His wife. Married. Mrs. Emma Masterson.

They reached the last row of chairs and Grandma Maisie turned to her, hugging her and kissing her on the cheek. Craig smiled at Grandma Maisie and reached for Emma’s hand, pulling her to his side. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jerry standing behind Craig. Craig kissed her ear lightly and whispered, “God you are beautiful.” His breath tickled her hair and his words roused her passion. She felt her whole body surge towards him, and she pressed closer into his side, her whole world narrowed down to his face and the feel of her hand in his.

The minister spoke, and Emma pulled her focus to him, with effort.

He spoke simply and eloquently: of love and marriage, of hard work and effort, of twin sisters and best friends, of God and earth. Emma let her mind go, making no effort to pay attention. Instead, she absorbed the words, drank in the experience, lived the entire ceremony from inside her soul, where every word spoken, every sigh breathed, every tear shed, and every sunbeam shined upon them would forever be written in stone. She planned to revisit it often.

The minister announced they had decided to write their own vows, and invited Hawk to start. 

Hawk smiled a lop-sided, nervous smile at the minister, then took both of Vivian’s hands in his own. The smile that shone out at her was full, genuine, and sweet as any Emma had ever seen. He began, his voice thick with emotion.

“Vivian, I’ve had some things happen in my life that made me ask
Why God? Why would you let that happen? How could that happen?
and I never thought I would get an answer. But then I met you. And I realized...” Hawk’s voice hitched, and his mouth twisted a bit. Emma couldn’t see all of Vivian’s face, but what she could see began to contract, and a single tear winked on Vivian’s cheek in the sunshine. “I realized that the questions didn’t matter anymore. No matter what I’ve been through, if that’s what I needed to walk through to get to this moment, then I accept it all. The more I know you, the more I love you, and the more I pledge to be your answers too, if I can. When you are scared or sad or confused or lonely, you can always come to me. When you are happy and glad and excited and thrilled, I will be right by your side. I love you now and I will love you forever.”

Craig squeezed Emma’s hand and she glanced at him. He winked at her, but looked thoughtful, solemn. She scanned the audience and saw Vivian’s mother sobbing openly in her husband’s arms, and Hawk’s mother also crying and dabbing her face with a white cloth. Emma wiped her own eyes, thinking her makeup must already be ruined.

Hawk’s best man gave him the ring, and he placed it on Vivian’s finger. She clutched her hands to her breast and smiled at him through the tears on her cheeks.

The minister nodded at Vivian, giving her the go-ahead to recite her vows.

Vivian took a few minutes to compose herself, taking deep breaths, and then she looked to her maid of honor, who handed her an index card. She glanced at it, and smiled up at Hawk, her face brilliant in the sunshine.

“Hawk. My dear, sweet Hawk. You already are the answer to all the questions I’ve been asking my whole life too. Every morning that I wake up, I give thanks that I found you and that you are who you are. If I had gone to Heaven and molded a man who would be perfect for me in every way, I could not have done a better job than God did when He made you. I never believed in soulmates before I met you, but I do now. Although I believe that you and I are meant to be together, I will never let that be an excuse not to work hard to deserve your love. I pledge from this day on to be the best wife and friend and partner I can be for you.”

Vivian finished speaking and gazed into Hawk’s eyes. Hawk leaned forward, as if he forgot where he was and was going to kiss her. The minister held up a finger and said “not yet.” Hawk startled and leaned back on his heels, laughing. The audience and wedding party laughed too, and Emma felt the moment lighten.

The ring was placed into Vivian’s hands. She placed it on Hawk’s finger and smiled at the crowd of people witnessing their promises. A few people cat-called and whistled and everybody clapped.

When the noise died down, the minister turned to look at Emma and Craig. Emma felt her anxiety level shoot skyward. This was her wedding day and she didn’t want to feel anxious. Why did she ever say she would write her own vows? Emma looked away from the minister, hoping to relax a little. She looked into the audience and saw over 200 people, all of them looking directly at her. She tore her eyes quickly from her audience and looked at Craig.

He stood tall and strong and slightly smiling, gazing at her like she was a precious flower or a beautiful butterfly. Immediately the invisible hand squeezing her throat lightened its grip, and she smiled back. The minister said something to Craig, then his best man stepped forward and gave him a notecard. Craig looked at it, then began talking, staring into Emma’s eyes.

“Emma, I wanted to get up here and say something special. Something that would convince you of exactly how I feel about you.
I love you
seems so inadequate. I do love you of course, but more than that, I adore you. I am in awe of you. I thirst to be near you. When I wake up, you are the first thought my mind flies to, and before I go to sleep all I care about is if you are happy. So I sat down and tried to write you a poem. But I’m not a poet. So then I tried to find a poem that said all of that. But nothing I found seemed true to me. So finally, I just decided I had to try my best to get you to understand how I feel about you. I know that with your sweet strength and your loving energy by my side, nothing will be insurmountable. I thank the stars every day for your love and I promise to do my best to be everything you need from today until the day I die.”

Craig’s words washed over Emma like a warm ocean wave. The intensity of them seared into her brain. Craig was a solid, strong rock who said
I love you
easily and freely, but he was not prone to sharing feelings like this. Her heart filled to bursting with love for this man. She’d been so worried about what she was going to say to him that she hadn’t given any thought to what he was going to say to her. And then he said something so ... sweet, and lovely that she was blown away. Emma felt herself tear in two little pieces inside. One balled up and cried at how wonderful her fiance - her almost-husband - was, and at how lucky she was to have him. The other piece stood taller and stronger and basked in his words and tried to be worthy of them.

She took that second piece of herself and nurtured it, fed it, turned it to the light of his gaze. She could cry later. Right now she was going to be the woman he thought she was.

He gently grasped her hand and slipped a ring on her finger. With it, she felt the weight of every promise they’d ever made to each other, but it was light and comforting.

The minister inclined his head towards her, “Emma.”

She nodded. Jerry stepped closer to her and handed over her notes. She held them in both hands but didn’t look at them. She knew what she wanted to say now.

“Craig. A lot of people here today don’t know how we got together. They don’t know that you saved my life.” She turned toward her audience. Toward the rows and rows of people looking at them. She felt calm, serene.

“While I was working one day, I fell off of a roof. Craig was there. He scaled a drainpipe to get down to me. I wasn’t breathing. He moved me gently onto my back and blew his own breath into me until I started breathing again. He was my hero that day, and he’s been a hero to me every day since then.” Emma turned back to Craig, handed her notes to Jerry, and took Craig’s hands in hers.

“Craig, we are great together. I know exactly what you meant when you said
nothing would be insurmountable
. That’s how I feel about you too. I love how you take care of me. I love how you are always, always there for me. I love how our love has done nothing but grow since the day you swore to me you would never let me go. You are an amazing man, one who is equally open to the beauty and danger in life. One who sees the good in people more than he sees the bad. One who approaches every difficulty as a challenge, not as a detour or an excuse. You are the kind of man I dreamed I would find as a little girl. The true knight in shining armor who has saved me not once, but many times. Today, in front of all of our friends and our family members, I promise to love you, to listen to you, to remain faithful to you, to care about your feelings, to be your true partner in all things, and to always be your best friend, forever.”

Noise of bugs and breeze and old women sobbing filled the spaces where her words had been a moment before. Craig squeezed her hands and smiled, his eyes shining. Jerry stepped forward and put the ring in her hand. She took Craig’s hand and slid his wedding ring onto the finger where it would sit for a lifetime.

The minister spoke up. “Now, that these four people have pledged their lives to each other, there is only one more step to take. By the power granted to me by the State of California, I pronounce you, Emma and Craig, husband and wife. And you Vivian and Holden, husband and wife. Husbands, you may now kiss your brides.

Emma saw Hawk gather Vivian in his arms only seconds before she was cradled in Craig’s arms. He lowered his mouth to hers and she met it eagerly. Dimly she was aware of their audience clapping madly, celebrating their union.
Married
, she thought.
Married to Craig
.

V
ivian sat at the head table, her heart overflowing. Hawk was sitting next to her, talking to her dad. With one hand he gesticulated heartily, while his other hand found hers and held it, caressing her palm with his thumb. Everywhere she looked, people smiled and laughed and celebrated. This wedding had overcome her wildest fantasies about how good an event could be. She couldn’t wait to get the videos so she could see everything she missed, like Emma walking up the aisle behind her, and Emma kissing Craig. In fact, she could remember little of Emma and Craig’s vows, because she’d been too wrapped up in her own happiness while they were reciting them.