Edge of Pathos (The Conjurors Series Book 4) (26 page)

As the buzzing
continued, little memories flickered across her mind. Dasan dropping Henry into
a fountain, Dasan giving her a gift of peace, Dasan counseling her on how to
help Henry.

“Yes, I remember,”
she croaked. “Why did I forget?”

Thai joined them at
her bedside now, his forehead creased as he listened.

“Your mind has begun
to fray a little, only at the edges, little vivicus,” Dasan said, his head cocked
to the side as he examined her with beady eyes. “The vivicus power will take
its toll, and tapping into it twice in one day sped up the process. Rest your
power, and your mind will recover this time. But every time that you unleash
it, your mind will unravel a little faster.”

Valerie wanted to
tell him that the unraveling of her mind had started months ago, but she didn’t
have the energy to form the words. Anyway, she didn’t regret any of the lives
she saved, in spite of the price, especially today. Henry was whole.

“Thank you for
helping her,” Henry said.

“It is my honor,”
Dasan said, and then moved to another patient’s bed.

“Why didn’t you take
me with you to find Henry?” Thai asked, gripping her hand so tightly, it almost
hurt. “Were you trying to kill yourself?”

“She didn’t have a
choice, man,” Henry said, when Valerie struggled to find the strength to
answer. “I didn’t mean to, but I basically snatched her from thin air to my
side.”

“Before she left,
she’d given up. She didn’t say so, but I knew. It didn’t matter that she had
friends who loved her, that she had
me
. She wanted us all to leave her.”

“Even Valerie can’t
be strong all the time,” Henry said.

Why were they
talking like she wasn’t lying right there? Then she noticed that her eyes were
shut, too heavy to stay open. Before she slid back into unconsciousness, a warm
pulse in the part of her mind that was now connected to Darling soothed her to
sleep.

Valerie didn’t know if
it was Nightingale’s potion or her own exhaustion, but for a long time,
everything was fuzzy. There were a few times when she was almost conscious, and
she remembered Kanti braiding her hair, Cara urging her to come back to them,
and Emin singing softly in her ear. Once, she could have sworn she felt the
cool touch of Dr. Freeman’s stethoscope while Chisisi murmured softly at his
side.

More than once, she
recognized Cyrus’s touch as he rested his hand on her forehead, and she knew
that he was sending pulses of light through her body, because afterward, the
shard of ice from Reaper’s dagger melted a little more.

Thai was never far,
and his touch against her throat and hand were reminders of the world she
wanted to return to. Once, she cracked her eyes open and found him sleeping
next to her on her narrow cot, his forehead pressed against hers.

And always, Henry
was at her side,
leaving
a permanent impression in the seat of the chair
. His
mind stayed open to her, and it was like a lullaby to know that it didn’t have
dark threads of self-loathing choking it.

Pathos
was gone, but her locus remained true. Nothing could shake her love for her
friends, alive and dead, and what she understood now was that nothing would
shake their love for her, either. It was time to consider the possibility that
she deserved that love.

The morning Valerie
was finally able to sit up on her own, the makeshift hospital was quiet. Thai
was collapsed on an empty cot next to her, and Henry snored quietly in his
chair.

As she surveyed the
room, she saw that there wasn’t a soul awake. Even Nightingale was asleep
standing up, leaning against the wall of the tent.

Before Valerie could
question the oddness of it all, a little light peeked into the tent as a tiny
hoof stepped through the opening. Then Clarabelle walked over to her, and
Valerie buried her face in the unicorn’s soft, iridescent mane.

I love you. Never
leave me.

It was the first
time Valerie had heard Clarabelle speak in her mind, and the sweetness of it
was almost unbearable.

Azra had entered the
tent behind Clarabelle, and Valerie’s heart was full.
We came as soon as it
was safe. Dasan lulled the minds in this room into sleep for a time to ensure
Clarabelle’s safety, or Summer would never have let us come.

“Where is Summer?”

Standing guard
outside.
Azra’s words came with a hint of her amusement at the centaur’s
protectiveness, and Clarabelle whickered beside her, like a chuckle.

Clarabelle made
little noises in Valerie’s mind, and though Valerie couldn’t discern the words
this time, the unicorn’s excitement was palpable.

“What’s this about
Clarabelle meeting lots of people?” Valerie asked Azra.

My little foal has
been finding more and more humans and Conjurors who want help developing their powers.
She is more skilled at it than I ever was, and she considers everyone she helps
as another soldier for the Fist. She hopes you’ll be proud.

Valerie laughed.

“As if I could be
anything else, little one. But are you finding time to search for daisies and
roll in the sunshine?”

Now Clarabelle’s
babbling began in earnest, and Valerie understood only part of her story about
the drama she’d witnessed between a dragonfly and a butterfly, and how they’d
become friends.

Summer entered at
the end of the story, and her eyes flicked over Valerie, as if she was
assessing the damage.

“I’ve survived
worse, and so will you,” Summer said. “But I wish you did not have to encounter
so much pain while you are barely more than a foal.”

“I haven’t thought
of myself as a foal since long before I ever came to the Globe,” Valerie said.

“That is good.
Because it is a leader we need, not a child,” Summer said. “Now we must leave.”

Clarabelle gave a
stomp of her silver hoof.
Not without my gift!

“Indeed,” Summer
said.

Summer braided a
small part of Clarabelle’s mane, and then reached to her side for a dagger she
kept there. In one smooth slice, she cut the braid off.

Valerie gasped.
“What are you thinking?”

“It is what she
wishes,” Summer said with a gentle pat of Clarabelle’s flank.

It will grow back.
Azra watched
Clarabelle toss her mane, which was now a few strands lighter.
Wear it, and
you will heal much faster. Clarabelle is not yet ready to share waters from her
horn, but this will help.

Summer tied the
iridescent braid around Valerie’s wrist. Azra nudged Henry with her nose, but
he didn’t stir.

Each day, I have
hoped that he would find peace, and I think perhaps my wish has come true.

“It seems like he’s
finding his way back to himself. To us,” Valerie said. “I wish you were here to
guide me.”

Your heart needs no
guidance. Follow it freely and see where it leads.

As the
three left the tent, Valerie considered the fact that Pathos wasn’t the only
thing that had chosen her. Clarabelle had, too.

Henry helped Valerie
walk out of the tent that afternoon, and she didn’t know if it was the cool
breeze or Clarabelle’s gift, but she was fully alive again.

“Am I remembering
right that Kanti was here?” Valerie asked her brother.

Henry turned away when
he replied so she couldn’t see his face. “Yeah. She had to go back to organize
more soldiers from Elsinore, but she’ll be back soon.”

“Did you two finally
talk?” Valerie asked.

“We tried. It was
weird,” he said.

“Try again. This is
your soul mate we’re talking about, right?”

“There are so many
people I can’t imagine will ever forgive me, and Kanti’s one of them. What I
did in her name… Who knows how many people will die because of the powers I
gave Reaper’s army?”

“I think it’s time
to take your magic back from Reaper,” Valerie said.

“What are you
talking about?”

“Use your power for
the Fist, on your own terms. I’ve seen the inside of your mind. I think you
have a much better imagination than Reaper does. Explore your ability to gift Conjurors
with new powers and help me turn the tide of this war,” Valerie said.

Henry’s mouth hung
slightly open at her words.

“I’ve always thought
of my power as the opposite of your vivicus magic, something evil inside me,”
Henry said. “But you’re right, it doesn’t have to be.”

“There’s nothing
evil in you, Henry,” Valerie said.

Even if
Henry’s mind hadn’t been open to her, she would have known from the tears he
was holding back that, for the first time, he believed those words.

That afternoon, Skye
burst into the hospital tent, nostrils flaring. Valerie worried that he might
trample the cots.

“Are you aware one
of the Healers here has been forbidding me to enter this tent ever since you
were stabbed by Reaper? And your brother supported this!” Skye said, tossing
his mane.

Valerie glanced at
Henry, and he shrugged, not even a little sheepish. And she had a pretty good
guess which Healer had forbidden Skye to enter. Thai was still barely talking
to her, but she knew he was near, trying to make her more comfortable, though
she could tell he didn’t want her to know he was doing it.

“I apologize for
them, Skye,” she said.

“You are the leader
of the Fist! Injury or no, you can’t be unreachable for eight days. Eight
days!”

Valerie was a little
dazed at his words. Had she been out of it that long?

“You’re right. I
won’t make excuses. Starting today, I’m back and ready to resume my
responsibilities as leader of the Fist,” Valerie said.

Skye flicked his
tail, but some of the tension had left his stance.

“I’m sure your
friends told you that the battle in Arden was a crippling defeat,” Skye said.

The weight of the
war settled fully back on her shoulders, and she pulled her blanket around her,
suddenly cold.

“Tell me,” she said.

“We lost more than
two hundred soldiers, and Arden is in the hands of the Fractus,” Skye said.

“Two hundred…”

“And another score
of Conjurors lost their lives on Earth. That doesn’t address the human toll,”
Skye said.

Valerie rubbed the
goose bumps on her arms, as she thought about how many humans had been hit by
lightning, slaughtered with black weapons, or torn apart by Reaper’s powers.
All while she’d embraced oblivion to avoid it all. She should have been out
there, fighting.

Something of what
she was feeling must have shown on her face, because Skye’s tone softened.

“The losses are not
on your shoulders alone, vivicus,” he said. “It is a weight we will all carry
together to our graves. But now, we must focus on the battles at hand. We must
help those on Earth while also retaking control of Arden. We must use our grief
as our strength to move forward. We must use it to crush the enemy.”

“Is Reaper creeping
into other parts of the Globe, or are his forces localized in Arden now?”
Valerie asked.

“Arden and Plymouth
are infested with Fractus. But Reaper has not yet tried to retake the Roaming
City. The People of the Woods have experienced occasional attacks, but not a
full assault. He has made no forays into Elsinore outside of recruiting new
soldiers. Even in Dunsinane, we only have occasional skirmishes.”

“Then we need to
take back Arden first. Reaper’s going to find out that holding a city that’s
hostile to your presence is much harder than conquering it. He once told us
that he had people in every guild that supported him. Now that’s going to work against
him, because we have people everywhere, even in his own army, who will turn on
him. The Knights Mira helped me recruit are waiting for my order to turn on
Reaper. It’s time to use that to our advantage.”

After hashing out
plans with Skye, Valerie went to the safe house on Earth where she usually met
with Chisisi, but he wasn’t there. Henry had come with her, and she turned to
him.

“I think I know
where he is, and I want to visit him alone,” Valerie said.

“Keep your mind wide
open to me,” Henry said. “I’m coming if you sense even a whiff of Fractus
trouble.”

“I will,
but I don’t think I’ll find them where I’m going.”

Chisisi sat with his
back against his brother’s gravestone, staring up at the night sky. Valerie sat
next to him, gazing up at the familiar constellations that she’d studied before
her adventures on the Globe ever began.

“Though I’ve known
the legends of magic since I was a boy, at times, it is unbelievable to me that
Conjurors are crossing the universe to enslave humanity,” Chisisi said.

“Every day, I wonder
if I’ll wake up and find myself back in foster care, and all of this will have
been the best dream and worst nightmare of my entire life,” Valerie confessed.

“Zaki should be
marshaling the forces on Earth, not I. I am ill-suited to leadership,” Chisisi
said.

“I’m beginning to
think that the more you hate being the one with power, the better-suited you
really are,” Valerie said. “That’s what I hope, anyway. Because I can’t wait
for the day when no one is looking to me for direction.”

“I am thankful you
guide us today,” Chisisi said.

“How bad is it
here?” Valerie asked.

“When the flame went
out, a series of coordinated attacks were carried out that appear to have been
planned in advance. Leaders in twenty-four countries were assassinated, and
countless others died in the attacks.”

Valerie swallowed,
hoping she’d be able to save her tears for so many lost for when she was alone.

“But if the Fractus
thought that they would simply step into the power vacuum they created, they
were wrong. New leaders have already been elected by humans in nearly every
country, and they are resisting the Fractus with all of the fight they can
muster,” Chisisi said. “People will not bend easily to the Fractus’s will.”

“Then Reaper will
break them,” Valerie said.

“He will try,”
Chisisi replied.

“How do we fight a
war that’s all over the world? I don’t know where to start,” Valerie admitted.

“One battle at a
time,” Chisisi said. “Beginning, I think, back at the Atacama Desert in Chile.”

“Why?” Valerie
asked.

“When the flame went
out, it released a phenomenal amount of power. The sand that melted into glass
is woven with pure magic,” Chisisi said.

“Kind of like the
Carne Reaper is dredging up in Plymouth,” Valerie said.

“Perhaps, but that magic
had degraded over years. This is new magic, and not released from a person, but
a flame born of thousands of Conjurors who donated their magic to create it,”
Chisisi said.