Edge of Midnight (20 page)

Sean leaned his damp forehead against hers. He shook with laughter, and excitement. “Take me,” he whispered.

She dissolved into giggles right as her orgasm pulsed through her, wrenching through every limb. He grabbed her other hand and wrapped it around his penis, squeezing her hand beneath his own. Hot jets of semen spurted over their clutching hands, onto her breasts, her belly.

He rested his hot forehead on her shoulder, trembling violently.

The creamy liquid seemed to burn her skin. Liv stared down at it, touched the white drops with her fingertips. She felt breathless, moved.

Semen had always struck her as an unfortunate and somewhat comical by-product of sex. Something sticky and icky to deal with. Usually safely contained in latex and conveniently ignored.

This was so different. This was his body’s offering. A tribute to life, poured out on an altar of passion and desire. A magic potion.

She wanted him to fill her with it, feel it trickling hot between her thighs. She wanted him to give her a child with it.

She’d been in free fall ever since she’d seen him standing in the ashes of her bookstore. Her chest ached and throbbed like her heart had been torn apart. He could destroy her with a wave of his hand.

He raised his head. She kept her watery eyes averted. She couldn’t bear to look at him. She extricated her hands from his strong grip and clambered off the bed. “Have to wash,” she mumbled.

When she swept the shower curtain aside, Sean stood there waiting. She felt melted and blurry, unfit for scrutiny. She stepped out of the tub, tried to walk past without looking at him.

“Goddamnit, Liv.” He spun her around and kissed her.

It was a dominating kiss, but her need flared right up to meet it. She clung to him and kissed him back. He lifted his lips from hers. “Don’t do that. Tear me to pieces, and then give me the cold shoulder.”

“What do you think you did to me last night?” she flung back.

“Let’s make a deal. You don’t do it to me, and I won’t do it to you.”

It’s never that simple, she wanted to scream.

“Let’s kiss on it. Look me in the eyes, Liv. And kiss me.”

“We just did,” she pointed out. “Very thoroughly.”

“That was before we made our deal.” His voice had that soft, unguarded tone that tugged at her heart. She couldn’t resist him.

She put her hands on his hot, scratchy cheeks, and stood up on her tiptoes, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“Promise?” His voice was hoarse.

“Promise,” she assured him.

He dragged her out of the bathroom, stretched out on the bed and held out his arms. It felt so sweet and perfect, sliding into them. She hid her face against his chest, let the deep thudding of his heart soothe her.

She must have slept. Bizarre images paraded through her mind, from the violent to the erotic. She woke to find Sean gazing into her face. His expression brought her to instant wakefulness. “Yes? What?”

“Tell me everything T-Rex said to you, Liv,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry to make you think about it, but I have to know.”

She closed her eyes, and tried to remember the sequence, the wording. “He told me that he saw me in his rifle scope that day that I met Kev,” she said. “He recognized me from a TV interview I did when the bookstore opened. That’s how he found me. He saw Kev give me that sketchbook. He wants the tapes. What tapes?”

He shook his head. “Kev mentioned tapes in his note. He must have coded the information into his sketches, but he coded it too well. He overestimated us. We couldn’t crack it. We tried. For months.”

“Where is that notebook now?” Liv asked.

Sean rolled onto his back. “My brothers ripped out the pictures and framed them. Davy said he’d be damned if he’d waste Kev’s last sketches. I didn’t take any. Can’t even stand to look at them when I go to visit. Those guys are made of tougher stuff than me.”

She kissed his hard belly. “You’re plenty tough.”

He grunted. “You should see my brother Davy. Talk about tough.”

She frowned. “Is he the one who gave you those bruises?”

“Oh, don’t blame him. I provoked him on purpose,” Sean said absently. “Davy’s a pain in the ass, like any McCloud, but he’s great. You’ll like him. And Margot, his wife, is fabulous. You’re going to love her. Con’s wife, Erin, too. I can’t wait for you to meet all of them.”

That gave her a warm, tingling glow in her chest.

“Tell me again exactly what Kev said to you,” Sean said.

“Not much,” she said regretfully. “That he was being chased. That some guys wanted to kill him. He scribbled that coded note, and told me to take it to you and run like hell, or they’d get me too. Scared me half to death.” She shrugged. “That’s all. I wish I could help you more.”

He nodded, his eyes miles away as his brain crunched data.

“What was in Kev’s note?” she asked. “I’ve wondered for fifteen years.”

Sean’s gaze flickered away. He let out a sigh, as if he were bracing himself. “It said if you didn’t disappear that night, you were dead meat.”

She stared at his averted face. The silence in the room swelled, as his meaning sank in. “Wait. You mean to tell me the horrible things you said were to drive me away? You did that deliberately? To protect me?”

He nodded. She slid off the bed, onto legs that would barely hold her. Stared at him as if she’d never seen him before.

“That’s not possible.” Her voice shook. “You’re kidding.”

He shook his head.

Fury, grief, built up inside her like steam. She covered her shaking mouth. “You bastard! How could you do that to me?”

“I don’t know.” His voice was flat. “Still don’t. It almost killed me.”

She lunged towards him, and slapped his face. He barely flinched.

“For fifteen years I thought it was just a crazy fuck-up,” he said. “But if I hadn’t done it, T-Rex would have killed you. You’re alive, right? I have that much satisfaction. I did the right thing.”

“The right thing?” Her voice cracked with outrage. “Did it occur to you for one second to tell me what was going on? Did it occur to you to trust me? It didn’t cross that thick rock that passes for your mind?”

He shook his head. “You would have resisted. You wouldn’t have wanted to leave me in the lockup. You might not even have believed me. I made an executive decision. But I hated hurting you.”

“An executive decision. To totally destroy me, emotionally.” She let out a peal of hysterical laughter. “Wow. Cool as a cucumber.”

“It was the only way I could be sure you got on that plane,” he said. “I was locked up, Liv. I couldn’t protect you. There was no one to call for help. Davy was in Iraq. Con was on a stakeout somewhere. Kev was in trouble. The police were already pissed at me. I did what I had to do. And for the first time in fifteen years, I can stand by that decision.”

She pressed her hand against her face, like it might fall off. “It never occurred to you to contact me after?” she whispered.

“Only every single fucking minute of my life,” he said savagely. “First I thought it was safer not to get near you, while we were puzzling it out. Convincing ourselves that Kev had gone nuts was a long, gradual process. I looked for you after, but you were in Europe. Then I ended up going into the military. I looked for you when I was on leave. I saw you, once. You were out with some guy you were seeing. In Boston.”

“Oh, God.” She covered her face, shaking her head.

“I followed you around for a while, like your standard obsessed maniac,” he went on. “Then I got embarrassed at myself, and left.”

“Without ever contacting me,” she whispered.

He shook his head. “Didn’t seem right. To freak you out, disrupt your life, after years had already gone by. I figured you’d be furious. That you hated my guts. And that you’d hate them even more when I explained what I’d done. Surprise, surprise. Looks like I was right.”

She couldn’t get her quivering throat to calm down. “My whole life, my parents have jerked me around. When I met you, I thought, finally someone who’s straight with me. How ironic. When it comes to lying and manipulating, you give my mother a run for her money.”

“I’m sorry you’re so offended.” His voice was clipped. “I thought you’d be glad to know that all the nasty shit I said wasn’t true.”

“Oh. Yeah. That.” She shook with painful, ironic laughter. “Like, the pool you had going with the construction crew? Did you invent that right off the top of your head? Like, how bored you were at the prospect of deflowering me?” She grabbed the phone, dialed for an outside line.

He yanked the receiver out of her hand. “Who the fuck do you think you’re calling?” he snarled.

“A cab,” she shot back. “I’m out of here. I’ve had enough of this.”

He slammed the phone back, and shoved her down onto the bed. “I did what I did because I loved you. Does that count for anything?”

She shivered, staring into his fierce gaze. “If that’s what it means to be loved by you, I don’t know if I can survive it,” she whispered.

He shook with tension. “No. You promised you wouldn’t go cold on me. I hold you to that goddamn promise. You owe me that much.”

It was an impossible demand. He couldn’t hold her to that stupid promise. Feelings were feelings. Anger was anger. The past could not be changed. “What are you trying to accomplish by squishing me flat?” She demanded, struggling to keep her voice from shaking. “Using sexual intimidation to bully me into not being angry?”

“Sexual intimidation is as good a plan as any I can think up,” he said. “Would it work? I’ll do anything that works.”

The blaze of predatory energy from him took away what little nerve she had left. She shook her head. “Won’t work,” she whispered.

“Let’s see.” He pushed her thighs apart, fitting himself to her tender opening, and shoved himself deep inside her. “Does this work?”

She turned her crumpled, tear-blurred face away, but her body answered to his, helplessly, instinctively. Opening, yielding, rocking.

“It sure feels like it’s working,” he muttered, against her ear.

She shook her head against the crumpled wad of sheet. She would have screamed, but her throat vibrated too hard. The charge was already building, stoked by his hard, pounding rhythm. The molten eruption burst through her, wrenching jolts of dark pleasure.

Her lungs couldn’t expand, she realized, when she could think again. The solid weight of him was collapsed across her body.

She shoved at him. “Air,” she croaked. “Can’t breathe.”

He rolled off. The air was cool on her body, where the sweat had glued them together. She struggled up, reached between her legs.

Whoa. Holy crap. She was a lake. They hadn’t used a condom.

Or, to be fair, he hadn’t. She hadn’t had a thing to say about it.

Sean shot her an uneasy glance. His eyes slid away. “I didn’t mean to do that. I never…fuck.” He sounded almost bewildered.

Liv slid off the bed, struggling to remember how long it had been. She’d gone without sex for so long, she’d stopped paying attention to her cycle. She was somewhere smack in the middle. Right in the danger zone. Great. Another element of uncertainty to jazz up her life.

She felt big hands behind her, hoisting her up to her feet. He swept her up, which made her squeak with alarm, but he held her against his hard, sinewy chest as easily as if she were a child. He set her down on the tub, grabbed the detachable showerhead and set the water running. He pushed her legs apart, lathered her up. Apologizing with his hands. She stared at the top of his head, relaxing into the soothing, tender caresses. “I don’t know what to think,” she said. “Fifteen years of nothing. Then my life falls to pieces, and you come out of the woodwork, and get all intense about me. I don’t know what to feel.”

“Me neither.” He blotted her dry with the last remaining hand towel. “I think I got imprinted by you, or something. You know, how some dogs bond with one person, and that’s it? No one else will do?”

She snorted. “Um, yes, you do have many doglike qualities.”

“What?” He grinned. “Loyalty? Steadfastness? Selfless courage?”

Yes, and yes. “I don’t think you’re imprinted, though,” she said crisply. “I think you made do just fine.”

“Because I slept with other women?” His voice hardened, and his hands stopped moving. “Do you think for one instant that what’s happening between us is not important to me? It rocks my world.”

“I’m not on the pill,” she blurted. “I could get pregnant.”

He kissed her hands. “For some reason, that doesn’t scare me.”

She pried her hands away and covered her face with them. “Don’t say stupid things like that. It’s irresponsible. It messes with my head.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “You turn my brain into mush, you know.”

“Oh, my. How gratifying to have such a powerful effect on a man. Don’t you think the timing is bad? On the run from a bloodthirsty murderer while urping with morning sickness. Cool.”

“We can talk about it more rationally if we eat something,” he said. “Anyway, there’s that morning-after pill, too. But you’re wiped out. You need fuel.”