Edge (Gentry Boys #7) (14 page)

“It is.” 

“Could have sworn you had a vintage red model.” 

“I still do.  This is a spare.” 

I wished I hadn’t said that because Cord gave me a sharp look.  I should have just told him I’d traded in the old one for a newer model.  He didn’t need to know that the pink slip to this one was acquired in a high stakes race up in Vegas three months back. 

Cord looked away.  “Must be nice,” he said casually.  “Having so many to choose from.”  

“What can I say? I’m partial to Mustangs.”

The man who thought he was my cousin instead of my brother changed the subject and said something about inviting me over for dinner real soon. Then he shook my hand, hopped into his truck and drove away. 

Eli had texted three times, asking if I could help him out and be a date for some friend that belonged to a waitress he was determined to screw. He tried making his case by promising the friend in question just had her tits done.  I didn’t answer.  Even if being set up with some mystery girl didn’t remind me of the night I’d spent with Roslyn I wouldn’t be interested.  In the last two weeks I could swear I’d seen Roslyn a dozen times; at the gas station, in a passing car, hurrying down Central Avenue on heels.  I was always wrong. 

At first I was just going to head back into the city but then I changed my mind and pulled into a coffee shop by the school.  The place was full of fresh-faced college kids who were very serious about their electronic appendages.  They sipped lattes, peered at tiny screens with slack-jawed fascination and generally ignored each other.  There was a time I’d planned to be among them, hurrying to class with a backpack and stressing over the next exam.  I’d always been an excellent math student and thought I might study something like engineering.  Things just didn’t work out that way though. 

After ordering a large black coffee and a pair of scones I settled into a corner armchair that had just been vacated by a spindly kid who couldn’t be more than eighteen.  That made me think of Ranger and wonder how he was getting on.  For a second I felt a twinge of guilt over leaving him to fend for himself in the wilds of the San Gabriel, but something told me he was scrappy enough to hold his own, or at least stay out of the way if he couldn’t. 

  A stack of literary journals were spread out over a nearby table.  They looked untouched and I felt rather sorry that someone had gone to all the trouble to write and publish things no one seemed interested in reading.  I picked one up and read a poem about a tractor, another one about John F Kennedy, and then came to a short story about thru hiking the Appalachian Trail.  It was a good story. 

I hadn’t realized how much time had gone by as I sat there thumbing through the journals.  I replaced them all carefully, in the same kind of fanned out formation I’d found them in and hoped someone else would give them a chance. 

Outside the sky was dark and young people milled around everywhere.  After all, this was Friday night less than a mile away from one of the nation’s largest universities.  But I was starting to feel a little bit out of place, kind of like a janitor visiting a country club.  It was high time to head back to my neck of the woods. 

My phone had been muted for a while and I was just walking to my car and ignoring Eli’s latest pleading texts when it vibrated as a call came in.  I whipped it out impatiently, expecting to see someone I didn’t especially want to talk to.  I was already planning on hitting the silence button before one quick look at the screen turned into a double take. 

The morning when I’d borrowed her phone and arrogantly programmed my number into her contact list I’d also made note of her number and added it to mine.  I just didn’t tell her that part.  I also had a habit of assigning nicknames to my contacts.  Stone was ‘Bro’ and Jackson was ‘Pal’ and Eli was ‘Dog’ and Kilt was just ‘Kilt’ because I couldn’t think of anything more fitting for a six foot five bearded leviathan.  

But later, after we’d talked and fucked and awkwardly parted, Roslyn became ‘Beaches’. 

Now, two weeks later, ‘Beaches’ was suddenly calling me.

The phone seemed to vibrate in slow motion and my pulse rate instantly quadrupled.  Every day I’d woken up thinking that it would be the day I’d call her, or else she’d call me. 

Yet every day neither thing happened and I started to wonder if it would be better if we were over before we really started.  There was too much to talk about that we hadn’t even touched on yet and I had the dark suspicion that I could wind up feeling about Roslyn in a way that I hadn’t thought about a girl in years.  Somehow that seemed like an unhealthy destination for both of us. 

“Hey you,” I said into the phone, as cool and collected as you please. 

“Caleb?” she said and I scowled, realizing right away she probably hadn’t meant to call me at all.  But determination took over.  Now that I had her voice in my ear I wasn’t going to give up until she agreed to see me. 

Less than five minutes later I was on my way to the Desert Springs mall, traveling exactly at the speed limit for once because I really didn’t want to get pulled over.  I’d promised her I’d be there in ten minutes and I couldn’t let anything get in the way. 

My heart was getting a workout in my chest as I parked the car at the mall and walked in the direction of the movie theater. 

Am I really nervous?  I can’t be fucking nervous. 

Under normal circumstances I got nervous about as much as I baked cupcakes, which was just about never.  I was afraid to look up, afraid she wouldn’t be there, afraid I’d screwed up a chance with the only girl who’d managed to make a dent in my heart in a very long time. 

I looked up and there she was, calmly watching me in old sloppy clothes, hair in a loose topknot, a radiant natural beauty who could compete with the sun without even trying. 

Why the hell didn’t I call?? 

It didn’t matter at this point.  I wouldn’t fuck this up again. 

All she had to do was give me a chance.  

ROSLYN

I wouldn’t have guessed Conway was the kind of man who would stroll around holding hands but after I took his hand he pulled me off the fountain ledge and didn’t let go.  It was sweet, wandering around at a slow pace with our fingers intertwined as we paused to buy a couple of iced lemonades and then kept walking.

At first I felt shy, younger and more tentative than I had in years, as if I was one of the giddy teens I’d been watching earlier.  Conway kept asking me questions though, questions about my job, my apartment, my friends. 

We were passing a pizzeria when the mouth-watering smell hit me full force and my stomach groaned.  Apparently candy and popcorn did not constitute a satisfying meal. 

“God, that smells good,” I remarked. 

Conway squinted into the dark window of the pizza place.  “You hungry?  I could stand to eat myself.”  He gave my hand a small squeeze.  “I’m buying.  How about it?” 

The patrons were mostly clustered around the bar watching a baseball game.  The waitress tried to seat us at a table in the middle of the restaurant but Conway shook his head, dangled a twenty dollar bill and pointed to an empty corner booth. 

“So am I remembering wrong or did you tell me you’ve been back in Arizona for a year?” Conway said a few minutes later after the waitress dropped off a pair of waters and took our order. 

“Yup.  I thought about staying back east but it just never seemed like home.  My dad’s here and even though we’re not that close he’s the only family I’ve got left.” 

Conway nodded.  “Your parents are divorced, right?”

“Have been since I was a kid.  I haven’t seen my mother in years.  No siblings, no aunts or uncles and the last of my grandparents died when I was in high school.” 

Conway was running his index finger along the glass rim of a candleholder in the center of the table.  He wasn’t looking at me but I didn’t doubt that I had his attention. 

“What about your family?” I asked carefully and he stopped toying with the candle. 

“Well,” he said slowly, “my father’s dead and my mother’s somewhere in Florida but doesn’t like to remember she has sons.”  He cheered up suddenly.  “I’ve got Stone though.  And my cousins.” 

“Ah, the infamous Gentry triplets.  I heard they were somewhere here in the valley.” 

“They are.  Deck too.” 

“Deck Gentry?  Wow, I haven’t heard that name in years. I have vivid memories of seeing him around town when I was a little kid.  He was always on his motorcycle, tearing up the dirt along the canal that ran behind my house.  Used to piss my father off to no end.”

Conway laughed.  “That’s Deck.” 

“So there must not be too many Gentrys left in Emblem at this point.”

“There are a few.  Distant cousins and such living way outside town.” 

“That’s good.  After all, what’s Emblem without the Gentrys?”

Conway leaned back in his seat and frowned. “It’s still Emblem.” 

All this talk about our hometown seemed to have shifted something in the air between us.  I wondered whether I ought to change the subject but there were still some things we needed to get out into the open. 

I took a sip of water and set the glass down.  Conway looked like he was waiting patiently for me to say something.  

“I got a letter from Stone,” I said quietly, lowering my eyes.  “Years ago, I mean.  When he was in prison.  He wanted to tell his side of the story, that it had really been an accident and not a reckless drag race.” 

“I know.” 

I looked up.  “He told you already?”

Conway nodded.  “Not at the time.  In fact you might not know this but we actually didn’t see or speak to one another for four years.”  He grimaced.  “It was my fault.  I thought he and Erin had…”

Conway’s voice kind of died and his shoulders dropped.  I already knew this part.  I’d heard the rumors and Stone had explained it in his long ago letter.  Nonetheless I felt fury building in defense of my friend. 

“She would NEVER!” I shouted, banging my fist on the table. 

A few nearby people glanced over in surprise. 

Conway looked stunned.  “Roslyn.” 

I stood, glaring down at him.  “Damn you, Erin would NEVER have betrayed you. “

Shame was written all over his face. 

“I know that,” he said.  “I do.  I should have known it then but I found the two of them together and I just couldn’t think so I ran.  From her.  From him.  A few hours later it was too late and at least ten thousand times over the last six years I’ve wondered how things would have gone if I hadn’t run from them.”  He screwed his eyes shut and when he opened them I saw how he blinked back tears.  “I loved that girl.” 

I slid miserably back into my seat.  “I did too.  She was the best friend I’ll ever have.” 

“I still miss her.” 

“So do I.  Always will.” 

He sighed.  “I have no doubt. You know, I used to think she had some guardian angel who visited and left those little gifts at her grave, but now I know it’s you.”  He reached over so suddenly I couldn’t even react and touched the chain around my neck. A strange expression touched his lips but he didn’t look unhappy, only wistful. “I remember when she bought this.” 

“It’s you.” 

That’s what he’d meant when he’d uttered those words, right before ending a moment of powerful passion and retreating from me.  He’d seen this, the crystal Erin had given me for my seventeenth birthday only weeks before her death and suddenly he had remembered being young, being in love, being destroyed.  

The waitress returned with the pepperoni pizza we ordered.  She looked curiously at our twin faces of misery and scurried away, probably figuring we were in the midst of a messy breakup or something. 

I took a slice of pizza even though I wasn’t all that hungry anymore.  A few drops of grease spilled onto the white china plate and I mopped it up with a napkin.  I needed to ask a question.  A question I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer to. 

He was watching me and I held his gaze.  No matter what his answer was it was best to face it honestly and face it now. 

“Is that all there is between us, Conway?  Some grim attachment to the past, a way to reclaim something we’ve both lost?”

He was shaking his head before I even finished speaking.  He gently touched my hand, never looking away. 

“No,” he said firmly.  “That’s not all there is between us.  I know it, and so do you.” 

Conway was right. I already did know. The connection between us was both inexplicable and substantial.  Maybe the initial spark had been born from our old common ground but it wasn’t limited to that.  Otherwise I would have had a much easier time pushing him out of my mind these past two weeks.   

Conway pressed my hand to his lips.  “I’m sorry,” he said. 

“For what?”

“For not calling.” 

“Oh.  Well in that case, I’m sorry for not calling too.”  I paused.  “I’m going to make feminists all over the world right now cringe and admit that I thought about you way too often and even considered taking a stroll past your hotel in the hopes I’d accidentally run into you.” 

He smiled.  “What’s the male equivalent of a feminist?”

“I don’t think there is one.”   

“Well, then I guess I don’t have to worry about disappointing anyone when I admit that I haven’t been able to look at another woman for the last two weeks.  And you know what?  I don’t even want to.”

I was glad to be sitting down because hearing him say those words made me dangerously dizzy.  When he’d kissed my hand I’d felt that touch in places I couldn’t acknowledge in public.  And the look he was giving me now…just intensity on top of intensity.  I could hardly breathe in the face of it.

“What now?” I asked. 

He grabbed a slice of pizza and slid it onto his plate.  “Now we should eat this before it gets cold.” 

I laughed and sprinkled a generous dose of parmesan cheese over my pizza before taking a bite.  The conversation turned to lighter topics.  I learned that Conway had known Jackson for years and thought very highly of him.  He made me promise not to tell Emily that his friend was wild about her and I snorted that Emily had likely already guessed that.  He regaled me with tales of his other wild friends too, although I got the feeling he was sharply downplaying whatever role he had in their various exploits.  I wasn’t fooled.  I had guessed from that first party that Conway had evolved into a full blown bad boy and although that might be true, he wasn’t
all
bad boy.  Not unless they were all funny, smart, and thoughtful and I’d just never gotten close enough to find out. 

We were on our second pizza when my phone buzzed.  I glanced at it and quickly put it down. 

“I don’t mind if you take a call,” Conway said as he watched my every move.  “Unless it’s some dude.” 

“So what if it is?”

He grinned.  “Then I mind very much.  The only demand I have is that when you’re with me, you think of me as the only man on earth.” 

I rolled my eyes.  “Well that’s not unreasonable at all.”  My phone had stopped buzzing by this point.  I shrugged.  “It was just my ex.  He texted me earlier and I didn’t answer so he’s just being pushy.” 

“Oh, an ex.”  Conway put a finger to his lips and pretended to think.  “Would that be
Caleb
by any chance?” 

My face got hot as I recalled the misdial that had kicked off the night.  Conway was sitting there with that old arrogant smirk on his face.  He probably didn’t even believe it had been an accident when I called him.  Actually, I wasn’t even sure that
I
believed it had really been an accident. 

“Do you still like him?” he asked suddenly. 

“Who, Caleb?”

“No. Clint Eastwood.” 

I mulled that over.  “He’s all right.  But I stayed with him for too long. By the time I broke it off I’d known for a long time there wasn’t much chemistry between us and there’s no substitute for chemistry.  Where are you going?”

While I was talking Conway had slid out of his seat and was now standing beside the table.  Instead of answering my question he reached down, pulled me to him until we were both standing with our bodies pressed together and before I had a chance to ask anything else he kissed me.  Hard.  Furious.  A storm that broke without warning and changed everything it touched. 

His hand was in my hair, tugging it free of the loose bun I’d tied up hours earlier.  Another hand slipped underneath my shirt and stroked the small of my back.  My own arms automatically slipped around his shoulders to bring him closer as our mouths took revenge on each other.  When he rolled his hips I could feel every bit of the hard urgency just on the other side and I almost moaned. 

Dimly I was aware that this sudden make out session wasn’t occurring in private but I didn’t care. 

After a few more seconds Conway broke away and gave me a knowing look while I tried to remember how to stand up straight all on my own. 

“You mean chemistry like that?” he said. 

“Yeah,” I whispered, trying to control my own panting.  “Like that.” 

He plucked some green out of his wallet and tossed it down on the table.  “I think we’re done with this place.  Let’s go.” 

If I’d protested he would have politely stayed but I kind of liked the way he put a firm arm around my waist and led me out of the restaurant.  Once we were outside I half expected he would lead me to the nearest dark corner and continue what we’d started but he didn’t.  He whistled lightly as he held my hand while the lights of the mall began to dim. 

“Looks like they’re shutting down for the night,” he said. 

I glanced at my watch.  “We were in there a long time.  I didn’t realize it was so late.” 

“Come on, I’m parked out this way.” 

“Wait.”  I pulled on his hand. 

He stopped and faced me.  “What?”

“Where are we going?”

“That’s up to you, Roslyn.  Remember, I told you I’d take you anywhere you wanted to go tonight and the night is pretty far from over.”

“I don’t know where I want to go.” 

Liar liar.  I know where I want to go. And I know exactly what I want to do there. 

Conway stared at me for a few seconds and then a slow smile spread across his face. I cursed myself for being so easy to see through.  If he had any doubts about my thoughts, that wanton response to our face-sucking assembly in the restaurant had surely ended them. 

He took a step forward and cupped my face in his strong hands.  “So does this mean you’re leaving our next destination up to me?”

“Why, do you have an idea where you want to take me?”

A leading question if ever there was one. 

His thumb grazed my lips.  “Oh honey, I know exactly where I want to take you.” 

We stared at each other, breathing heavily as the meaning behind those words sunk in. 

“Then take me there, Conway.”  I impulsively kissed him, lingering for an erotic second as our tongues touched.