Eden's Root (18 page)

“What are you up to Fionnuala?” he asked, his voice soft, and Fi gasped. She shook her head and frowned.

“Don’t call me that!” she snapped and his face fell. Regret flooded her immediately. “Sean, I, I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I didn’t mean it,” she said and then paused. Why did she snap at him, she wondered? He didn’t know that hearing her full name hurt like hell. That all it did was remind her of Papa. The truth was that she never wanted anyone to call her Fionualla again. She looked at Sean and bit her lip.

“Well, that’s not exactly true,” she added. The hurt on Sean’s face deepened and Fi felt worse. “No, I mean, I don’t want anyone to call me that anymore, not even Maggie. Not after Papa…” her voice trailed off. Her hands were still clenched into fists. His face softened and he approached her.

“I’m sorry, Fi,” he apologized with an awkward pat on her back. “I understand.” He sat down and patted the ground next to him. She smiled and sat. It was a pattern now. He wanted to talk and she let him push her into talking. “So, what are you up to?” he asked, shoving his shoulder sideways into hers. She shrugged.

“It’s time for me to raid the stores,” she began. She tried to keep her tone light as she explained her plan. As she had expected, Sean put up a fight.

“You’ve got to be kidding Fi!” he exclaimed, prompting her to pop up and walk away from him. He followed her back to the campsite. “You can’t go alone!” he screeched. That’s just stupid! After what we just saw you’re going to go back there by yourself at night and steal stuff? There is nooooooo way I’m going to let you do that.” Fi kept stalking away from him in annoyance. Sean stopped walking.

“I’ll just follow you even if you make me stay. What about that?” he practically screamed at her back. She whirled.

“Stop it!” she snapped. He froze while Fi glanced around with anxiety. The birds had quieted. They were being too loud, even way out here. You could never forget…

“Keep your voice down!” she hissed. Sean flushed and turned his head, his jaw twitching. He knew she was right, and while he was mostly ok with following her lead, it was still tough to take such a command. She knew it bugged him but that was too bad. He was the one who let his emotions get the better of him, not her. She waved her hand to emphasize her point.

“Especially after what we just saw it has to be this way, Sean,” she insisted. “I can’t leave the Family unguarded, even out here. But we need the food and we need the gear, and we only have two guns and two people who know how to use them. One of us has to go and one of us has to stay.” His gaze was still distant, but his jaw relaxed. She shrugged. “Be logical Sean. It has to be this way now. There’s no more chivalry,” she pushed his chest and turned to walk away again. “Only survival.” She walked quickly, frustrated and angry. Of course in a perfect world Sean or John or someone else would rescue her, but that wasn’t the real world. Not now. She felt Sean hustle to walk next to her.

“Oh,” he said, his voice bitter. “So of course the answer here is that
you
should be the one going on the raids,” he said and she stopped short. Sean almost plowed into the back of her. He was kidding right? Fi whirled and glared at him. In silence, they stared each other down. Fi noticed that the birds had begun to sing again. The sunlight was dappled and the air clean and fresh. Any other time and this would be a fairy-tale spot, Fi thought. She tilted her head, waiting for Sean. She wasn’t going to say it. It wouldn’t be nice. He broke her gaze and hung his head.

“Alright, alright.” His shoulders dropped. “You’re faster, a better shot, smaller and more agile, and a way better fighter. In a practical world, you should go. I’m second best, I guard the nest.” She didn’t move and her expression didn’t change. Turning on her heel, Fi turned to walk back toward camp. His dejection had washed away her anger, leaving only a lingering sense of regret that they had to have these kinds of arguments at all. She stopped and waved for him to follow.

“Please come,” she entreated him. “I want you to go over it with me, to talk it out. Help me think of things in advance and pack accordingly.” Sean’s smile reformed into a genuine smile as he trotted toward her and her heart squeezed. That was the Sean she knew and loved.

----------- Sean -----------

He followed and felt warmed, if only slightly. Despite his disappointment in losing the argument about the raids, he knew he was accepting the truth. He still needed more time to get better at his skills. And the family needed a guard, of course. It wasn’t like his role was less important…and she wasn’t saying that. He also knew that she trusted him to guide the family if anything happened to her on a raid. For a moment, he felt a strange pain in his chest. He didn’t know how he was going to deal with the fear when she went on this raid, he realized. That was most of the reason that he’d wanted to do it himself. It was selfish. He didn’t want to deal with the thought of her out there, alone. When she’d left them in the garage for an hour he’d thought he was going to go crazy.

As he caught up to her, he steadied himself. The only thing he could do know was help her with her strategy, like she’d said. He knew that she asked him to talk her through it because he’d shown a penchant for strategy in training with Sensei Bob. Sean was always called in to analyze Fi’s strategy when she sparred with the Sensei. Sean would break it down for her.

“I don’t see why you went high there,” he would point out. “When you could have gone low-low and gotten them both.” His hands would point to the weaknesses, analyzing a multi-attacker set. It must be his penchant for logic that helped him to see the steps in advance…anticipate the outcomes. He smiled at the memory. Bob would grunt his approval while Fi blew her hair back in annoyance.

“Good point. Let’s do it again then,” she’d insist. She was always chomping at the bit to fight, loving it. Her braid would fly and her face would redden with her effort, and when she won, she would raise her hands over her head in victory and laugh, gasping. She was a fighter, he realized. She relished it. He could see it when she wrapped her wrists, he could see it when she whooped after a good run, and he could see it when she practiced her poomse. She was the physical. That was her value.

But he was a strategist. He was the three-or-four moves-ahead guy whose preparedness was his weapon. That was his value.

She was putting both their skills to their best use, Sean realized. It was startling when it really hit him. Even though she was just a kid like him, she was a good Leader. He shook his head and acknowledged it without grudge. How many Families out there were lucky enough to say that about their Leader, he wondered?

From the horrors he had seen the last week, he was pretty sure that the answer was not many. His brain kicked into planning gear as he walked back toward the camp with her. He hummed as his thoughts turned to maps and gear and timing. It felt good to engage his mind in a positive way. Fi strode in silence beside him and he could feel her, could feel the warmth of her energy. Something about that many years together, he thought. It was like they didn’t have to talk at times. He shook his head. He had to support her. If he didn’t agree he could always say that without arguing with her.

For now, he had to concentrate on wowing her with some terrific planning, he thought with a smile.

----------- Fi -----------

Fi felt strange making her way during the daylight, even if it was already late afternoon. She hadn’t walked in open daylight in quite a long time, not alone anyway, she thought. May was always one of her favorite months and the forest this May was blooming into beautiful contrast with the devastation to be found in town. Trees dripped with fat, lush maple and oak leaves, still a fresh, bright, newborn green. Beneath the trees, dark mountain laurels bloomed, their gaudy white flowers filling the air with rich scent. Though the exposure of daylight made her nervous, the beauty of her surroundings was fine compensation as she jogged along.

Fi stuck to the forest and stayed within the cover of the tree line whenever she encountered Dead Zones. Moving in silence, she kept her ears open for any unusual sounds. Having studied her maps and discussed it with Doc Ron, Fi estimated that she was about two hours from town. Her route had been carefully selected to avoid most roads or other towns. With this knowledge as comfort, she lost herself in her thoughts a bit, reflecting on fighting techniques, scanning for hunting information, and finally, thinking about Eden.

It was a constant source of curiosity for her. What would it be like, she wondered, when they got to Eden? Of course, she dreamt of it often, when exhaustion did manage to drag her into sleep. The memory of the dream made her smile. Her dreaming mind was a bit vivid and dramatic. Every time, Eden’s doors would creak open onto a scene that was colorful and beautiful, with welcoming people bearing flower chain necklaces and pealing bells. This silly dream was why Fi secretly thought of Eden as the Emerald City. Even so, all dreams aside, she did wonder what Eden would be like. Would it be like living in a submarine? Papa said it was underground and it was pretty sealed off. That seemed crazy. Still, she thought, it was no crazier than living up here with the Dead Zones and Ghost Towns.

As she stared at her own shadow moving over the ground, Fi realized that the sun had dipped low. The afternoon was fading quickly. It was time to pay attention. When she came to the first road crossing, she stopped to consult her map. Opposite the residential end of town was a more commercial area that she knew had a grocery store. That was her target. If she approached from the northeast, she could stay in the forest until she was very close. She continued her slow descent of the hillside toward the store. By the time night fell, she’d arrived. Perfect timing, she congratulated herself.

As she scampered across the darkened parking lot she saw a large sprawling structure across the street. Lit by solar powered lights, the sign still glowed in the eerie silence. It was a shopping mall. Oh my God, she thought, I can get everything I need there! I can get everything I want there…more than I can carry. Her heart leapt with excitement but she kept her course for the grocery store. First things first, she thought.

Her adrenalin ran high, but she felt confident so far. Things still seemed deserted and the darkness was comforting. It made her feel invisible. Staying in the shadows, Fi searched the grocery store for an entry point. The main doors were closed and locked, but when she explored behind the building she found her way into a back door. She burst in with her gun drawn and was immediately hit with an overwhelming stench.

“Ugggh God!” she groaned and covered her nose and mouth with her left forearm. She gagged hard, her gun still clutched in her right hand. The ugly green tile floor was wet with puddles. Of course she thought, seeing the silver structures to her right. The freezers had turned off. That explained why it smelled like a pile of rot in here, she thought as her stomach turned. It was a pile of rot. Disgusted, she hustled out of the back and into the regular store.

In her hurry she let the swinging doors slap together behind her and she cringed, listening as her heart pounded. Except for dripping water, there was no sound. The darkened grocery store looked like it had been hit by a hurricane. It did not smell significantly better than the back room and standing puddles were everywhere. Food was scattered across the floor, the obvious result of looters. It was fortunate that the main space was larger than the back area, because the stench was bearable. Still, it added to her resolve to hurry. There were probably all kinds of infectious things growing in here, Fi thought, with a shudder.

She scurried to the canned goods section and was delighted to find a good supply remained. She took the most efficient things she could find, lots of beans, colorful veggies, and fruits. It pained her on some level to provide the Family with Sickfood, but food was food these days. In addition, she grabbed batteries, candles, cigarette lighters, and playing cards for the kids.

Shifting her focus to the pharmacy, Fi grabbed the basic First Aid stuff and then hopped the counter. That was when she noticed that though the pharmacy had been looted, only certain things were missing. Whole sections of shelves had nothing, while others were still packed. Curious, Fi scanned the labels.

“Aaaaah, of course,” she said, shaking her head in disapproval. “They stole all the narcotics.”

The moment she said it, her disapproval transformed to sadness. Doc’s concern that they wouldn’t be able to find narcotics was on the mark, she realized. Of course, she pressed her lips together in understanding. Who didn’t want to just fade out and disappear? It was tempting. Focus Fi! She reminded herself and turned back to look for the other things that Doc had requested like antibiotics, simple analgesics, and anti-nausea meds for Maggie. She grabbed everything, as well as some vitamins. Mission accomplished, Fi thought and she made her way back outside and snuck across the road to the mall.

After nearly an hour of trying, she finally found a way inside. A metal door on the backside was jammed, but not locked. Grunting, she worked it open inch by inch until she could squeeze through. Though it cost her extra time and energy, Fi spent a few moments working the door open farther in case she needed an escape route. Sweating as she worked, Fi congratulated herself on this strategy. Sean would be proud. As she made her way into the mall itself, she kept to the wall with her gun drawn. Some of the stores had locked gates, but she was pleased to see that many were open.

Spotting a mall directory, Fi scanned the area. The directory was out in the open and the skylight above allowed soft moonlight to drift into the space. She would be visible. Gun ready, she stepped into the grey light and tiptoed to the directory. Darn it, she thought, it was too dark to see the words. She blinked and listened for a moment without breathing. Her eyes felt ultra wide and her pulse fluttered like a hummingbird in her neck as adrenalin coursed through her. The mall was silent, so she took the risk to light the directory with her tiny LED compass.