Eden (6 page)

Spec must suddenly realize my frustration, because he blurts
it out.  "We need to remove the chip.  Then Coder should be able to find a
way to access the information."

I stop, breathe, cross my arms, and look at him. 
"Remove the chip."

Jonas looks dubious.  He shakes his head a little—some doubt
intermingled in the gesture.

Celine, behind him, looks ready to kill.  She turns her gaze
on Spec and Coder, and I swear her eyes are throwing daggers.

Spec deliberately avoids her gaze, but does not shy away
from meeting mine.  "It's probably the only way to get the information.
...And we
need
that information."

I consider him for a moment, narrowing my eyes, tilting my
head.  I tap one finger on my arm.  "You want to cut open my head."

"Minimally," Coder interjects.  "It would be
a small incision."

Spec jumps back in.  "You've done it before."

"She had one put
in
before," Celine hisses
through clenched teeth.  "And you said it could
stay
there.  You
said
it wouldn't be a problem."

"It's not a problem," I say.  "Except that we
want to know what's on it."

They all turn and look at me.

Now my teeth are clenched.  I take a deep breath in and out
through my nose.  Then I say, very calmly, "What the hell?"

Jonas' hand is on my arm again.  "Eden," he says
gently, trying to soothe me.  But my look lets him know he better spit it out. 
He does.  "It could cause problems if we don't remove it.  It's damaged,
and who knows what could happen?"

I methodically remove my arm from his grip and spend another
moment tapping my fingers on my bicep.  Thinking.  Obviously, they've convinced
Jonas that this is necessary, and I trust him fully, even if I don't trust
them.  But who's to say that the chip
does
need to be removed?  It could
be a ploy to make me willing to undergo the brain surgery—to get them the
information they want.  But it would seem that Lily trusted them.  I mean, she
let them
put
the chip there, right?  Only, that's a touch nuts if you
ask me.  Maybe Lily was a nutter.  Or maybe she didn't have a choice.

All these thoughts are too much.  I'm suddenly unsteady. 
Weak.  A touch nauseous.  I must even go a little pale, because Jonas reaches
out to steady me.

"I need to rest," I whisper, and my voice sounds
pitifully strangled, which is convenient because no one is going to argue with
me.

Spec nods, moving toward the door.  "Alright.  But this
doesn't leave this room."  He looks from face to face.  Coder and Celine
nod begrudgingly.

Jonas ignores him entirely, leading me out the door. 
"Are you OK to walk?  I can carry you."

I wave him off, taking him by the arm, instead.  "That
wouldn't do much for keeping our little secret," I murmur.  Honestly, I
would love for him to carry me.  To just rest against him.  But I force one
foot in front of the other.  We take it slow, and we make it all the way down
the street, up to our apartment, and we shut everything and everyone else out.

I collapse onto the bed and he sits beside me, brushing back
my hair.

"How do they even know that their information didn't
get erased?" I murmur.  I can't believe how tired I am.

"There was some," Jonas explains.  He takes my
hand in his and strokes it.  "They got some broken pieces of data.  Coder
says he'll take a look at it, but he's pretty sure it's incomplete."

"Hmph."  I consider it for a moment, but I can
feel sleep coming for me again.  I blink suddenly awake.  "We need to
talk, Jonas."

He shakes his head, his gaze so soft on my face. 
"Later," he says.  "You need to rest right now."

"I don't want to wait," I murmur.  My heart jumps
at the thought of chickening out... or the thought of telling him.  I'm not
sure which is worse.

He sighs and strokes my hair again.  "We're not talking
right now," he insists.  "You're resting.  And I think you know how
stubborn I can be."

A little smile flits across my face.  He
would
use my
own words against me.  "Will you stay?" I whisper.

He smiles back at me.  "No one could drag me out of
this room if they tried."  He touches my cheek, then glances toward the
kitchen.  "You want a little water before you sleep?"

"Mmm," I say.  "That sounds good."

He gets up and walks to the kitchen.  I drift off to the
sound of him rummaging in the cabinet to find a glass.

Chapter 6: Knew You
Loved Me

Kobee barges in on us, trailing Moses and Harlan behind
him.  I'm not sure how long I've been asleep, but clearly it's time to get up.

Jonas scowls at them, and I climb out of the bed.  We move toward
them and stand shoulder to shoulder before them.

"We need to talk about some things," Kobee says.

Jonas snorts, but before he can reply I ask Kobee calmly,
"Can I see your hand?"

He gives me a weird look, but he sticks out his hand, palm
up.

I take it in mine and turn it over, examining his fingers. 
"Yep.  Knuckles."

He frowns at me.

"You know what they're for?"

The others have caught on more quickly, and they try to
smother smiles and chuckles.  Except Jonas.  He doesn't try to hide his smirk
at all.

I push Kobee's hand back at him.  "Knocking."

"Haha," he says, giving me a look—amusement,
annoyance—a combo of both.  "Well, the smartass portion of your
personality is still intact.  I guess that's something."

Jonas crosses his arms.  "What do you want?"

Kobee looks him over then nods toward the couch.  Jonas
sighs but moves out of the way as the group comes all the way in.  We arrange
ourselves on the furniture.  Time for a conference, I guess.  But I'm not sure
we're ready to try to convince them one-on-one.  I don't like that Spec's not
here.

"Look," Kobee begins, his voice heavy, serious,
"we have some real problems.  There's a revolution brewing out there.  If
you don't get out there and convince people that you are who you are, then
we're looking at some big problems."

Jonas and I exchange a look.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," I say, "but
weren't you the one starting this revolution?"

Kobee's face goes dark, but he meets my gaze.  "It
wasn't a revolution," he says.  "There wasn't anyone to revolt against."

"Lily left you and Spec in charge while she was
gone."  There is no denying the anger in Jonas' voice.  "You were
supposed to keep things running.  Not take over.  And certainly not try to turn
people against her by saying that anyone who came back wouldn't be her."

Kobee lowers his head, looking shameful under Jonas' scorn. 
"You don't seem to understand," he says.  "The plan was to have
Lily back in a few days—a week at most, to have her secure and on the way
home.  She was gone for months.  Close to a year.  I didn't think she was
coming back.  And things here aren't all just peachy, in case you haven't
noticed.  We were stuck in limbo.  Wynwood needs a leader—a real leader. 
Someone who can move them to do what needs to be done."

"And you think that leader is you," I mutter.

But Jonas is moving on, his glower sweeping over their three
faces.  "Obviously it took a little more time than expected.  But on top
of everything else, she brought me back.  She gave up everything to do that. 
And the fact that she was even able to when your plan was so incredibly flawed—"

Kobee snorts.  "No shit.  I didn't miss that she
brought you back."  His gaze switches to me, now.  "I owe you for
that, Lily."

I wave him off, because I'm not sure if he's really sincere
or if all this is engineered to throw me off guard.  We expected a struggle
with Kobee, not... whatever this is.

"At any rate," Kobee continues, "I didn't
foresee what happened.  With you both gone, I did what I thought was right. 
What I thought needed to be done.  And done is done.  But we need to pick up
these pieces quick.  My not-revolution has the potential to become one.  People
are talking—without me.  Unfortunately, me convincing them that Lily wouldn't
be Lily also applies to you, Jason."

I'm still not quite sure what to make of all this. 
"The people love us," I say, looking at ease, even though I'm not. 
"We went out this morning, and it was clear from the way they reacted to
us.  I'm not sure your little revolution carries any weight.  Maybe it's all
just a bunch of hot air."

Kobee’s brow furrows as he frowns at me.  "The people
who aren't out there smiling at you—they're the ones you want to worry about. 
And no, you didn't see them.  But they're there.  And they're halfway
organized, too."

Jonas leans forward.  "Right," he says. 
"Then
you
get the hell out there and fix what you broke."

"It's not that simple, man," Kobee protests. 
"I'm trying.  Believe me.  The bottom line is that they don't believe
you're you.  I'm not sure I believe you're you."  His gaze flicks back and
forth between us.  "Would you even know if you weren't?"  The
question hovers in the air for a moment before he goes on.  "I can only
fix so much, and the rest is up to you.  But you need to get on it.  Now."

Jonas sighs.  "...Suggestions?"

"That's up to you," Kobee says, climbing to his
feet.  "I'm not gonna tell you how to be you."  The three of them
head for the door.  Only Moses looks back, throwing us an apologetic look.

Once they're gone, Jonas and I spend a long moment eyeing
each other.  "What should we do?" I finally ask.

He shrugs, but he looks uneasy.  "Damned if I know.  If
it weren't for you and your stubbornness—and the stupid chip that needs to be
taken out of your head—I'd say it's time to move on before things get bad. 
This is a dangerous game, Eden.  It could go incredibly wrong and end up with
us getting roasted.  I mean, we're not them.  What are we playing at?"

I snort.  "Speak for yourself.  I don't know who I am,
that's true.  But her... She's always weaseling her way into my brain, even
though I don't want her there."  I stand up and walk toward the door. 
Jonas' eyes follow me.

I'm halfway down the steps before I realize how I've opened
my mouth and let out the wrong thing.  Do I want Jonas to know that?  That
Lily's ghost is hanging around?  Is it even true?  I take a deep gulp of air
and freeze on the lowest step.  I need to tell him about Apollon.  I know I
should turn around and go back up.  But can I really say that right after
admitting that I might be just a little bit Lily?

My feet get going with new momentum and I fly down the last
step and out the door onto the terrace.  Swearing under my breath, I have no
idea where I'm going.  It's all made worse when I see that Kobee, Harlan, and
Moses have paused on the terrace to conference before moving on.  Their eyes
dart to me and stick.  I hesitate.  What am I doing?  Where am I going?

I take a deep breath, put on an easy smile, throw my hands
up and say, "It's hot in there.  This place is like an oven."

Harlan laughs—he has a surprisingly jovial laugh.  "Just
you wait, Lily.  This is nothing."

"Great," I mumble, and walk toward the railing to
look over.  If they want to talk about us in private, they're the ones who will
have to move on.  But no more than a minute passes before I see a familiar
tall, blonde figure heading up the stairs.  Panic flutters around in my chest.

Apollon reaches the top of the stairs and looks around.  His
gaze fixes on me and he strides over.  I can almost feel the others summing him
up from behind me, but he pretends he doesn't notice them.

"Well," he says as he comes to a stop at my side,
"how did it go?"  No small talk.  Not even a greeting.  Straight to
the point.

For an instant, I'm confused.  Did he hear about the chip? 
Does he even know?  I haven't had time to tell him about any of it, but rumors
travel fast.  But of course he's not talking about the chip.  Apollon is
fixated on one thing right now.  "Uh..." I say, helplessly.

"Oh my god, Eden." His voice is incredulous. 
"You didn't tell him."

I shake my head, opening my mouth to explain, but no words
come out to defend myself.  "Apollon," is all I manage before he
starts walking away.

"Then I will," he says, heading toward the stairs
that go up to the apartment.

I watch him disappear inside, my mouth still open, still
wanting to get an explanation out, and yes, wanting to stall him.  This is the
worst of all possible times to drop this information on Jonas.  What if he
thinks I've engineered it this way?  What if he thinks I—

My mouth snaps shut as Kobee, Harlan, and  Moses move toward
me.  I stick my hands in my pockets and smile at them.

"Who's that?" Moses asks, looking casual.  They
all do, but I can see the wheels turning, and it's not good.

"One of the friends we travelled with."  I shrug
and lean against the railing.  Surely they know we didn't come here alone. 
"His name's Apollon.  He and... Jason have been friends since they were
erased."

They flinch at what I speak about so easily now—though
admittedly most of it is false bravado.  For an instant, I scan their faces and
wonder how close they were to Jason before it happened.  It's been nearly four
years, and it still affects them.  And what about me?  It's been only a year
since I left them.

Kobee's eyes shift to the doorway, then back to me. 
"So, what's he going to tell Jason that you don't want him to?"

I bristle, about to snap at him for sticking his nose where
it doesn't belong.  My second instinct is to lie.  To make something up. 
Something benign.  I'm good at bluffing.  I could carry it... for a while, at
least.  But Kobee knows me better than I know him.  That puts me on losing
ground.  Chances are, he would guess I'm lying, even if he wouldn't know it for
sure.  That would mean he'd just keep poking around, and eventually, he'd
uncover the truth.  No.  Lying to them is a bad start if we ever mean to
rebuild trust.  And as dangerous as Kobee seems—whatever his shortcomings—Lily
trusted him.  She left him in charge.  She maybe even counted him as a friend.

The sigh drags itself out of me.  Words follow, unbidden. 
"Damn you, Kobee.  You always think you need to know everything."

His eyebrows flick upward.  He crosses his arms, but he's
hiding his alarm, trying to stare me down.

"Look," I say, sweeping my gaze across the three
of them, "it's complicated."  I fold my arms across my chest, too. 
"Jonas—Jason—whoever he is—didn't know me.  And I didn't know him.  All
this boyfriend-girlfriend stuff is confusing for us both.  OK?"

They stand there, considering me.  Kobee chews on his lip. 
"So that guy," he finally says, waving one hand in the direction of
the door, "he's—"

"My friend," I say before he can spit out any
other ideas.

"Your friend," he repeats.

Moses and Harlan exchange a look.

"Yes," I say calmly, then swallow.  "Just...
Jonas has this idea that there's something between us.  But there's not."

Glances fly around between them, possibly at my use of the
name 'Jonas'.

Harlan mutters something to himself.

Moses rubs his face.  "He has an idea, huh?"

I groan, looking away from them and flouncing.

"Just give us the gist of it," Kobee says, and I
have to admit he sounds reasonable.

"It's complicated," I say again.  My voice has
gone quiet.  "I've been confused.  Jonas has been confused.  Apollon's
been trying to protect both of us."  My eyes flick to Kobee.  "I
don't think you have any idea what it's like to not be sure who you are."

He flashes me a wicked, wicked grin.  "So here's the
part where I get to say 'I told you so.'"

I frown at him, pushing myself away from the wall to move
past them.  "I'm not sure why Lily was ever friends with you."

Kobee just snorts.  "Yeah.  Neither was she."

When I glance back at him, there's a spark of satisfaction
in his eyes.  I walk to one of the lounging chairs, sprawl into it, close my
eyes, and proceed to ignore them.  But two minutes pass with my eyes closed and
not a single footstep leads away.  I'm pretty sure they're not that quiet on
their feet.  As I pry my eyes open, I register voices and footsteps coming up
the terrace stairs.  Spec and Celine.  It would seem they spend a lot of time
together.

They make it to the top and get sucked in to Kobee's little
huddle.  For a moment, they're all murmuring voices.  Great.

Celine glances away from them, at me, and I catch her eye. 
She freezes.  A little dent of consternation appears in her lovely forehead. 
She heaves a big sigh and saunters over to me as if she doesn't have a care in
the world.

I move my feet so she can sit on the end of my chair.  She
hesitates, but sits.

"So," I say, making my voice as light as possible,
"I take it we're friends."

Amusement twitches at the corners of her mouth—or is it
something else?  "Lily was my friend."

I study her face for a moment—she's so unbelievably pretty. 
She's good at hiding things, too.  Mostly nonreactive.  Mostly.

"I see.”  I narrow my eyes.  "And you're angry. 
You're pissed at her for doing what she did."

Her chin jerks back, lips pressing together.  She looks
away.  For the tiniest instant, a trace of sorrow moves across her features. 
Then it's gone.  She's completely calm as she turns her eyes on me,
expressionlessly.  "Do you remember me at all?  Do you feel anything when
you look at me?"

My gaze falls into my lap, and the answer comes out in a
whisper.  "I feel sorry."

She sighs, then her fingers are curling around mine.  When I
look up, her eyes are still full of reservations, but there's something else—some
kind of offering.  "I've missed you," she says.  "...Not just
since you left us.  I missed you when you went into that dark place and you
wouldn't let me come with you."

Her words bring tears to my eyes—maybe not for myself, but
for her, and for Lily.  For the first time, I feel that I want to stay here. 
Not to find answers or kill Sentries.  Not to save Outpost Three, or even
Oscar.  Just to stay.  To love.  To be loved.

Maybe this place really is home.

But when Celine registers my tears, she jerks her fingers
away.  She puts her head in her hands and closes her eyes.  Her breaths are
slow and deep.  Measured.  She's trying not to cry.