Ecstasy Wears Emeralds (38 page)

Rowan took a step closer, studying her face. “Yes?”

“You told me once to use my own observations—not to rely on emotional sources to draw my conclusions and . . .”

“Yes?” he asked, the intensity of the question dismissing the last of her fears.

“You didn't overcome Charlotte. You never touched her, did you?”

He shook his head. “I never did.”

“You never did. But Aunt Jane . . . It was natural to blame you and
you let her
.”

“I let her.”

“Because you
did
love Charlotte and you wanted to protect her mother from the truth.”

“Yes. I let it happen because the death of a child is a staggering blow. How could I add to Mrs. Hamilton's agony and smear the good name of her darling girl? To what end? Finger-pointing and some horrible hunt for the heartbroken boy residing somewhere in Standish Crossing? So that his life could be ruined, too?”

“But you'd have been cleared. Your reputation restored.”

“It was too high a price to pay. And the shadow of it hadn't touched me here, until . . .”

“Until I arrived and brought all of those troubles to your doorstep. And you'd come from Lady Pringley's! My God, the gossip that woman will create will ruin you!”

He shook his head. “Hardly. I averted most of it, and Lady Pringley's innate curiosity will keep her tethered to me forever. Women of good breeding have a strange weakness for men with dark and mysterious pasts.” His smile was full of painful irony.

“I don't have a weakness for men with dark and mysterious pasts.”

“No?”

“I have a weakness for you, but we've already established that you are the furthest thing from a villain imaginable, so my tastes clearly run toward respectable, handsome, kind doctors.”

“One ghost banished doesn't solve our problems, Gayle. Whatever enemies I have, they aren't going to give up just because one of their puppets failed. You cannot stay.”

“I'm not going anywhere!” She reached out and caught his arm. “If you know anything of me, surely you know that once I've set my mind on something, it's impossible to dissuade me.”

“I can't—”

“I have a contract and a teacher. I have a friend and a lover. I have a home and a family. All my dreams, Rowan, are just within my reach, and all I have to do is not let go. I can't let go.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I love you, Rowan.”

He said nothing, and she seized on her chance.

“I've fought you on every turn. I thought that if I loved you I would be diminished into something or someone else. All my life, I've been
less
because I was a woman and told that I couldn't do what I wanted. But you've never said no. You've never made me feel like I was less of a physician or less of a person. And when you look at me, Rowan, God help me, I feel like I'm
more
.”

“It would have been kinder to refuse you that night, Gayle, when you appeared in my home and demanded that I take you on as an apprentice.” He ran a hand through his dark russet hair, his expression full of agitation and uncertainty. “A better man would have thought to protect you, even then. I want you to achieve your dream, but I know just how cruel and unyielding the world can be, and I don't know if I can bear to see you hurt.”

“I can bear anything if I have you, Rowan.” She gently caught his bloodied sleeve in her hand, her fingers moving up his arm above his injuries. “Anything.”

“You could have said as much earlier and spared me some pain, Gayle.” It was a gentle admonishment and she felt the weight of all her fears disappear like so much smoke.

“There wasn't time.” She reached up to touch his face. “It seems when I'm not thinking, the words fly, but when it's truly important, I require preparation.”

“And what have you prepared to say at this moment?”

“I was going to say something very eloquent about how you are the man for me and that I couldn't have fashioned a better one. I was going to insist that you marry me even if I do have a terrible temper and a wretched talent for eavesdropping.”

“A husband is going to get in the way of your achievements. You told Caroline as much.”

“Now who is guilty of eavesdropping?
A husband
might present a problem, but
my husband
will let me use his microscope—and hide under his tables without yelling at me for making tonics that smell like bile.”

He smiled and put his hand on the small of her back to pull her closer. “He does sound perfect. Does your husband still have the final word . . . over anything?”

“I am sure to be the meekest and most obedient wife in the world.” The lie was as sweet as butter on her tongue, and she couldn't stop the blush that crept across her cheeks at the merriment in his eyes.

“You are the most delicious liar, Miss Renshaw, and the devil's own when it comes to getting your own way—you realize this?”

“But I have the handwriting of an angel,” she reminded him softly.

“And what of Whitfield and Jessop and the hundreds of others like them who are going to spit insults when they hear I've married my apprentice?”

“We'll outwit them. You'll casually mention that you've married a wealthy young woman fascinated by medicine and entirely supportive of your research. As a wise man once said, we'll let the old goats fill in the gaps as they wish.”

“A wise man said that?”

“The most brilliant man I've ever known.”

He pulled her into his arms. “You do know the way to my heart, don't you, Gayle Renshaw?”

 

The church was glowing with candles set amidst evergreen finery and holly rings, with garlands hanging from every archway to herald the Yule season and the upcoming new year. It was a small gathering of the Jaded and their closest family inside the ancient stone chapel at Bellewood, and the chill of that Christmas morning was forgotten in the warmth and beauty of the occasion.

The bride wore a dress of Lady Winters's clever design, and the groom had deigned to wear a new coat and hat to honor the day. Rowan and Gayle exchanged their vows, and then everyone burst into cheers at the sight of the beaming couple stepping back through the arches out into the daylight. The emerald ring on Gayle's hand gleamed and sparkled with an evergreen fire all its own, and the men exchanged knowing glances at its significance.

The wedding party made their way quickly back to the warm hearth and hospitality of the home of Ashe's grandfather, Mr. Gordon Blackwell, and glasses were immediately raised to toast the doctor and his wife's health and happiness.

The bachelors in their midst made a subdued effort not to roll their eyes or enter into any debates that might draw attention to their dwindling numbers, but dutifully drank after each toast was made. Only Josiah Hastings wasn't present to raise his glass, but they still had numbers enough to hold their own against the growing pro-matrimony faction.

Caroline and Haley pulled Gayle aside to escape the open rivalry and manly camaraderie that was taking over the small party. “We wanted to wish you happy, Mrs. West. And now, naturally, we'll insist that we use our Christian names and become the best of friends.”

“I'd like that. I'd like that very much.” Gayle's eyes misted at the sincerity of their offer, thrilled to have found two such allies. “Do you think the men have any idea of the coalition forming in their midst?”

The women shook their heads and laughed. It was Haley who answered, “No, and I don't see any reason to enlighten them!”

Ashe came up behind his wife, a glass of wine in hand for her. “Would you like a chair, ladies? Grandfather Walker just pointed out that there are three very comfortable places by the fire. . . .”

“You're hovering again!” Caroline chided, but a blush revealed that she was not unaffected by his attention. “I am well enough to visit in an ice house if I choose, Mr. Blackwell.”

“Of course, you are, darling! I can ask Rowan and Gayle to move the party outside if you'd like to prove it since we're expecting snow, but if you indulge me and sit nearer the warmth, then the Old Monster will commend me for my thoughtfulness and stop glaring at me.” Ashe's smile was a wanton and wicked thing to behold, and Gayle had to avert her gaze since the pair seemed to have forgotten she and Haley were there.

“Ashe! You rogue! I'll . . . sit by the fire, but only because . . .” Her blush deepened. “You are impossible!”

The women dutifully moved to sit by the fireplace, and Gayle almost laughed as Caroline waved away her overprotective husband. “Ever since—the difficulty—the man has been . . . very attentive,” Caroline finished, her color subsiding slowly as Ashe retreated. “I think he'll wrap me in cotton-wool batting and lock me in my room when he finds out we're expecting again.”

“Congratulations!” Haley exclaimed.

“Are you?” Gayle asked softly, instantly excited at the wonderful news.

“I believe we are. I'm going to tell him tonight as a Christmas present.” She reached out to grasp their hands. “I'm a little nervous, so I've told you for practice just to make sure that when I said it out loud, the world didn't fall away.”

“If he locks you up in a garret, just send a note by pigeon, and Rowan and I will rescue you.” Gayle squeezed her hand.

Haley nodded. “I can always send Aunt Alice to draw him off so that you can slip out for a visit. She's fearless!”

Gayle looked for Rowan to enjoy the sight of him so relaxed and happy amidst friends. It was the perfect occasion for new beginnings and she couldn't wait to tell Rowan his fears had proven false.

“It's hard to imagine, isn't it?” Caroline asked softly. “Your life without him. But it wasn't long ago when you'd have traded him for a bonnet. . . .”

“Did I say that?” Gayle put a hand on her chest in mock horror. “You must have misunderstood me.”

Rowan approached. “I'm sorry to interrupt, but I wish to steal my wife away for just a moment.”

Gayle went with him, curious about his purpose as he led her out of the room and down the hall to a quiet alcove overlooking the garden. It had begun to snow, and for a minute, they both just watched it fall and transform the world outside.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, the warmth of his breath against the outside shell of her ear making her shiver with delight.

“I'm thinking that sometimes it's good to be wrong.”

“Is it?”

She nodded.

“And what were you wrong about, Mrs. West?” He planted a kiss on the nape of her neck, working his way down in a sizzling trail of fire as he tasted her skin.

“I was wrong to think bonnets were better than husbands.”

He nodded, nuzzling the soft indent behind her ear. “So long as you intend to have just one husband, I'll agree.”

Gayle sighed, leaning back against him. “And you were wrong about Caroline not having any more babies. . . .”

He stopped and turned her about to face him. “Was I? Did she say anything to you or are you guessing?”

Gayle put her hands on her hips. “She confided it just now and she's going to tell Ashe tonight. It's a miracle, Rowan.”

“I don't believe in miracles.”

“I forgot. You don't.” She tilted her head to one side, assessing the serious cloud overtaking his countenance. “But luckily, you aren't in charge, so it seems they're going to have a baby whether you believe they can or not.”

He pulled a hand through his hair, and Gayle recognized his anxiety with new eyes. “It's dangerously soon after her illness. There could be so much damage internally, and arsenic is a known hemorrhagic agent that this—”

“Rowan! The woman is glowing with health and happiness, and from where I am standing, she is young and has every prospect of delivering a very beautiful baby. Your friend is already worried about her every hiccup. You Jaded are not an . . . optimistic club, are you?”

Rowan shook his head. “Not naturally.”

She reached up to frame his face with her hands, cherishing him for the care and concern for his friends that made him so serious. “Dr. West, if you don't believe in miracles, then what do you believe in?”

“Fate, my love. I believe in Fate.”