Echoes of the Heart (50 page)

           
His
hands commented on the caliber of horseflesh he had purchased, anxious to tame
the steeds and pick one for their own purpose.
 
The camaraderie by the campfire brought back memories of past good times
with the boys out on the range.
 
He had
missed ranching.
 
It felt good to be
back.
 
He wondered what had possessed him
to quit this fulfilling life in the first place and abandon the life he grew up
with to hide in the shadows of guilt and despair.

           
The
group led by Cash cut across plains bypassing Chamberlain for a more direct
route, arriving at their destination spattered with mud.
 
They were ready to bust broncs to show off
their prowess and prove their manhood to one another like most young cowboys
letting off steam.

           
Cash
leaned on the fence, boot raised with the heel crooked on a slat smoking a
cigar, admiring the herd.
 
The men began
taking bets on who would break the most.
 
He grinned in amusement, knowing with certainty who would gentle the
greatest amount of horses.
 
Slim had a
way with equines surpassed by no one he had met.
 
Cash had acquired special skills as a youth
running with the Cheyenne but Slim would more than likely tame two to his one.

***

Sally a widow with
three youngsters would sometimes bring in her well-behaved children to work and
Raeden enjoyed playing games and entertaining them while Sally supervised the
crew.

           
Raeden
had designed a few dresses for Rachael, Sally’s daughter, to parade in while
not in uniform from the private school Raeden had insisted upon for all of her
children at the company’s expense.

           
They
sat over lunch at the Village café discussing strategies for
Designs by Raeden
, having not missed one
deadline while the reputation soared.

           
Drinking
tea, Sally leaned toward Raeden.
 
“You
know, I have been concerned with your health of late, and I’m happy you’re
feeling better.
 
But if I didn’t know
better, I would think you’re going to have a baby.”

           
They
had become good friends over the past months and the thought of unloading her
burden along with the tension would be a good idea.
 
“Yes, Sally, I am pregnant.
 
Going on four months now.”

           
Sally
patted Raeden’s hand across the bistro table.
 
“It must be difficult being a widow and all.
 
I certainly know what it’s like to raise
children alone, though it is much easier now with the generous salary I’m
receiving.”

           
Deciding
to unload the entire story, she drew a deep breath.
 
“Sally, my husband is not dead.
 
We’re separated and we don’t get along.”
 
She plopped her hands in her lap.
 
“I’ve sent legal papers but he has not
returned them and I’m afraid if he found out about the baby, he might force me
to go with him or worse, take my child.”

           
She
smoothed the folds of her dress over her legs and brushed a wayward curl from
her forehead.
 
“He would be furious if I
told him and he may not believe it’s his.
 
If I knew for sure how he would react, I would go ahead and let him
know, then he would have to release me, but I’m so tired of telling lies.”

           
Sally
just listened while Raeden fidgeted in her seat.
 
“I can’t raise a child in a household with
parents constantly quarrelling, and he is always attempting to bend my will to
his liking.
 
He even forced me into this
marriage I didn’t want.”

           
Sally’s
brows drew together and a frown curved her mouth.
 
“That decision should have been yours.
 
I don’t blame you for leaving.
 
Did he beat you?”

           
Raeden
laughed.
 
“No, he didn’t beat me, except
emotionally.”

           
Sally’s
brow furled together.
 
“Do you still love
him?”

           
Raeden’s
eyes widened at the question and she paused for a moment.
 
“Actually, I love him madly but I have to be
my own person.
 
It’s hard to explain, but
I feel he doesn’t want to love me and blames me because he does.”

           
She
dropped her eyes to the floor and her cheeks stung with heat.
 
“In all candor, when he attempts to force his
iron will, I’m a shrew.
 
I say awful
things, hurtful things I regret later and then he avoids me.”

           
Tears
rimmed her lids.
 
“All I want is some
respect for what I am.
 
I respect his
choices.
 
Is it too much to ask?”

           
Sally
sat back in her seat.
 
“You certainly are
a modern woman.
 
I’m surprised you are
not marching with Susan Anthony.”

           
Raeden
perked in her seat.
 
“Its funny you
should mention Susan Anthony.
 
She has
based her new movement in New York.
 
There’s going to be a conference and Jenny and I are going to
attend.
 
Perhaps you can come along as
well.”

Sally
laughed.
 
“I can see where a man would
have a difficult time with you.
 
Have you
mentioned any of this to him?”

           
Back
on the subject at hand, Raeden centered her thoughts on her problem with Cash
and spoke while her bottom lip quivered.
 
“I have never told him.
 
When he
starts issuing orders, I just snap and I don’t want to hear the insults which
are bound to arise.”

           
A
tear rolled down her cheek.
 
“All he ever
thinks about is those Indian friends of his.
 
And not sending the papers just could be a way to teach me a lesson.”

           
Raeden
suddenly chuckled.
 
“I know this sounds
awful but we did get along fabulously in bed.”
 
Both women laughed and Raeden felt lighter, placing a hand over her
bump.

           
“At
least you can take care of yourself and provide for your child with its needs
along with anything else you wish to lavish on the little one.”

           
“I
appreciate your help, Sally.
 
I couldn’t
do this without you.”

           
They
finished their meal and returned to the warehouse to complete their duties for
the day.
 
Parting for the night, Sally
gave Raeden a hug.
 
“Everything will turn
out.
 
Just you wait and see.
 
I have an intuition about these things.”

***
     

Knees folded in
front, Raeden sat in her bed completing the latest sketches for Sally.
 
She had finished several outfits for herself
and pleased with the fullness and drape around the waistline, she planned to
discuss her plans with Jenkins for her expectant mother line.

           
Into
her fourth month, the nausea had abated and she had gained enough weight back
to please her doctor so she could now spend more time at the shop and take
outings in the park with Arte and Jenny.

           
After
she broke the news about the baby to Jenny, told her everything, Jenny promised
to keep it to herself as long as Raeden wanted her to.

           
She
had taken it upon herself to quit riding and leased a buggy.
 
Arte, though not fond of his new duty,
behaved admirably.

As spring
unfolded, cherry trees bore their minute buds waiting to blossom and display
their pink umbrellas over the city while gardens became green and lush.

Outside her
bedroom window, noisy birds began migrating into the area filling the air with
the sounds of the new season.

Before dressing
for dinner at the St. Charles Hotel with Jenkins, she composed letters to her
family and friends.
 
She omitted the pregnancy,
still afraid Cash might discover her secret.

She didn’t know
exactly how she would handle the situation.
 
The thought had occurred to live in France and have the baby there.
 
It sounded like a plausible solution to her
dilemma, and she did speak French.

           
She
mentioned to Diane about her invitation to the show in Paris and asked about
Cash, as always.
 
From previous
communications, she had learned he returned home and appeared happy but Diane
never mentioned if Cash had ever asked about her in return.
 
It hurt to think he could forget about her so
easily when she spent so much time remembering him.
 
Raeden kept waiting for the memories to dim
but they seemed to get stronger with each passing day.

           
After
collecting her latest sketches and dressing in one of her expectant mother
ensembles, Raeden met Jenkins at the St Charles.
 
The sleek imported marble floors held tables
covered with white linens surrounded by ornately carved chairs upholstered in
winter-white brocade.

           
The
dark burgundy draperies hung over expansive multi-paned windows and accentuated
the Oriental designed runners placed around the grand room.

           
Her
meal served on exquisite china consisted of quail with new potatoes and baby
peas along with fresh bread and butter.
 
It was such an elegant place to dine, she planned to come back with
Sally and Jenny.

           
While
she dabbled with crème brule, Jenkins scanned the pictures looking skeptical
but finally agreed to try the new idea after complimenting the dress she wore
and Raeden pulled out the sketch in his stack.
 
He asked no questions about her wearing one of the same garments but
gave her a quizzical glance.
 

           
Over
tea, they discussed the show in Paris.
 
He had gone every year previously and intended to do so again.
 
Her entry still not completed, he expressed a
desire to see it as soon as possible.
 
He
had marveled at her design and waited anxiously to see the finished gown.

           
Her
relationship with Jenkins had grown over time into a close bond, sort of like
father and daughter.
 
He gave her good advice
and always mentioned how proud she made him when he showed off her talents to
his clients and invited her to his home regularly for dinner with his
family.
 
She finally told his wife Amelia
and him her entire story, relieved to get it off her chest.

Fifty-four

           
With
his shirt unbuttoned exposing his chest, sleeves rolled to the elbows, hat
cocked forward to block squinted eyes from the sun, Cash slapped rust colored
dust from his jeans after loosing the last horse he had tamed.

           
When
he turned toward the house, he spotted John’s horse galloping full bore across
the plains hurling dirt clumps in the air from its hooves.

           
Sensing
John’s excitement from the speed he traveled, Cash ran to meet him.
 
John leaned back in the saddle, pulling the
reins of his heavy lathered steed and forcing its head high.
 
The hind legs slid under its belly into a
skidding stop, its rump nearly grazing the ground.
 
“Cash, the troops are in town.
 
They’re headed for the hills!”

           
Lips
firmly drawn, he buckled on his gun belt then saddled Rabbit, grabbed a jacket
and led her into the open.
 
Grasping the
horn, he effortlessly rounded a leg over her back, placing boots in the
stirrups while the filly lunged, gathering speed as she ran.
 
Over the clatter of hooves beating across the
ground, he yelled over his shoulder.
 
“Get a fresh horse and meet me in town.”
           
Cash leapt from the saddle
before Rabbit stopped completely; lather flying from her frame.
 
Boots pounded against wood planks when he
sped into the store.
 
The commotion
brought Diane, gun in hand to find Cash tossing items on the counter.
 
Wide-eyed she laid the gun down.
 
“Cash, what on earth is going on?”

           
“The
cavalry’s on its way to find Dull Knife and I’m going along.”

           
Diane
left and came in with Mike.
 
“Mills is coming
over.
 
We’re going with you.
 
Toss those supplies in the wagon.”