Echoes of Pemberley (45 page)

“Then my ride shall be unfortunately short.” Catie gave him one last glance, clicked her tongue, and cantered away.

Percival came to take Sean’s horse but he waved him off. “No, thanks, Percival, I believe I’ll keep a watch over Pemberley’s resident pain in the arse.”

“You said it, mate, not me!” Percival said, laughing.

Catie immediately detected her trail and picked up her pace to force Sean out of his secretive stalk. A devious grin and an aggressive pump of her heart sent a surge of blood rushing through her veins, and she was at a full gallop well before she reached the river with Sean hard on her heels and gaining. In seconds they were at an even gallop, nose to nose. Catie’s heart was beating as hard as the pounding hooves below her. In her mind’s eye she had been here many times, running across the fields of Pemberley with Sean galloping at her side.

Forgetting the impending weather, she continued carefree and fast, and far from home. She didn’t want to wake up from the dream again and have him stolen away. But this wasn’t a dream. It was real. Sean was there, galloping beside her with that lovely smile on his face and that desperately missed twinkle of challenge in his eyes.

Then, from out of nowhere, they crashed into a driving rain. Catie pulled Chloe to a stop and looked over at Sean. He motioned for her to follow him, and they rode away from the river and into the farmlands. They found a small shed, empty, to their good fortune. The lean-to had only three walls and a tin roof that exaggerated the weather to a deafening degree.

While Sean settled the horses, Catie removed her coat to shake out the wetness. “Steady on, girl,” she heard him say soothingly to a very anxious Chloe. “It’ll be over soon.” She watched him ruffle Chloe’s ears and smiled that he remembered how the horse liked that.

“When it lets up some we’ll head back,” he said, peeking out from under the roof. Then he looked over at her. “Are you warm enough?”

“I am . . . thanks.”

Truly alone for the first time in months, she felt there was still something between them, something unresolved.

“You seem to have made amends with your father,” Catie said.

“Aye.” He smiled. “Me da has turned his aspirations to my brother Gabriel. It’s for the best; he’s better suited for the horse business than me.”

“Is he supporting you in your education then?”

“Morally, yes, but then again that’s all I’ve ever asked for.”

Silence took hold again, and Catie prayed for a break in the downpour. Having already given her best effort, she leaned against the closest wall. They could stand there stupidly mute until the rain stopped for all she cared.

“I heard my aunt and mam talking about Maggie,” he said finally. “I think what you did for her was kind,
very
kind.”

“Maggie’s quick thinking gave Rose a second chance. For that I could never repay her.” Not wanting to look at him, she scuffed her boot on the dirt floor.

“Catie,” he said after a few moments, raking his fingers through his wet black hair as if mustering up courage. “I . . . I owe you an apology. If you only knew how many times I sat down to write to you, to explain myself, to ask your forgiveness.” He glanced at her to see if his words were having any effect, but she had turned away from him. Sean came up behind her. He reached out to touch her, but with an expression of sheer agony, stopped himself. “Please say you forgive me, Catie,” he whispered.

“There is nothing to forgive, Sean,” she said, keeping her back to him. “I behaved like a silly, foolish schoolgirl. Clearly, I misunderstood the attention you were giving me. So, please . . . let us both forget it.”

“You didn’t misunderstand anything, Catie; my — ”

“I said forget it!” She spun around, her eyes blurry with emotion. “Please, say no more.”

“Damn it, Catie! I must say this.” He took a step closer, and she lowered her head. “Please, look at me.” Sean reached out and pulled her face up, but she stared past him, not trusting herself to meet his eyes. “I said look at me.” She obeyed him then, her eyes glistening with the pain of her broken heart. “Christ, Catie, you’re tearing me apart.”

Her tears broke free and streamed down her face, and he gently wiped them away with his thumbs. “Say what you must say.” Her words and face were like stone. “Say it now, Sean, or you may never again have the chance.”

He swallowed and his throat rippled with the effort it took to do so. “I lied to you that night under the fireworks. I had to; there was no other choice. Catie, I come from a poor Irish horse farmer. I know what it’s like to do without, to want something you can’t have. I could never give you the life you’re accustomed to. Look what you did for Maggie. Look around you! What could
I
possibly ever offer you? That’s why I left, because I’m a coward. I left rather than face you and the truth.”

“What is the truth?” she asked, still looking him directly in the eye.

“The truth is that my feelings for you are stronger than I have ever felt for any other human being. The truth is . . . I love you, Catie Darcy. But I mustn’t —
we
mustn’t. You deserve better than me. I’m no good for you, and I never can be. That’s all.”

A torrent of emotion rushed over Catie and she plowed her face into her hands and wept.

“God, Catie, please don’t cry,” he whispered into her hair, pulling her tightly against him. “Please, don’t.”

His embrace was like a soothing ointment on a festering sore. As if she’d been given a tranquilizing shot, Catie relaxed into a calm serenity in his hold. The coming together of their two souls seemed to be a destiny far out of the realm of their understanding, and they held each other silently, afraid to let go . . . afraid to speak.

At last Catie whispered, “I don’t care about the life I’m accustomed to, Sean.”

“Catie —” he started, but she cut him off.

“No, Sean, now you listen.” She pulled back but held his gaze as she spoke. “I have been a selfish being my whole life. My behavior at times has been unpardonable. But what no one really knew was . . . I pitied myself. Pemberley’s orphan, no mum, no daddy, feel sorry for her like she feels sorry for herself! But you never felt sorry for me. You made me look at myself. You made me look at everything and everyone and see,
actually
see. Even with Ben, for the first time in eight years I realized that I wasn’t the only person who lost their father when that plane crashed.”

“But none of that changes anything. I’m still the son of a horse farmer.”

“Sean.” She leaned against him again, her voice as tender as the easing rain. “A very wise person recently told me that the
right
person enhances your qualities while accepting and balancing your faults. Don’t you understand? Where we come from doesn’t matter. All that matters is where we go from here.”

For the first time without fear, they freely stared into each other’s eyes. Then the pull they both had been so ardently fighting brought them slowly together, savoring every second. Their lips touched. Tenderly, she felt his mouth caress hers. He took her face into his hands, forcibly holding their union. He kissed her tears, kissed her closed eyes, and then her mouth again. He kissed her like he might never have the opportunity to kiss her again. He kissed her until the last drop of rain fell on the tin roof over their heads.

Reality took hold when the rain ceased and brought them back to an understanding of what lay ahead. “Your brother,” Sean said, those two words being enough for them both to understand.

“At the end of the day, Bennet Darcy is his father’s son. What Ben respects in a person is integrity and character.” She finally smiled at him. “Both of which I believe you possess, Mr. Kelly.”

“That’s flattering, Catie, but — ” he hesitated.

“But what?”

“But, he’ll want only the best for you, and I am sure my integrity and character will not be enough, at least not where you are concerned.”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?” The certainty in her voice gave no hint to the apprehensive knot beginning to grow in her stomach.

Back on their horses, the two urged their mounts in the direction of their unknown future, a future that now lay in the hands of Bennet Darcy. They didn’t know whether or not he would allow them to embark upon the beginnings of a relationship, but they had to try. Their feelings for each other could no longer be denied or concealed, and the worst outcome now could only be shadowed by continuing to keep those feelings hidden and painfully locked inside.

After they had settled the horses, they gave each other a reassuring smile and started the short walk to the house.
Stronger than I have ever felt for any other human being
. Sean’s words echoed in Catie’s head. It felt as if nothing could come between them now, nothing except for . . . Aiden Hirst. Catie looked up and came to a dead stop. Aiden was coming towards them with hard, determined strides.

“Aiden!” she said, sounding surprised. “What are you doing here?”

Giving Sean no more regard than a cutting look, Aiden rushed to her with exaggerated concern and grabbed hold of Catie’s hands. “I heard about your housekeeper from my uncle and came to you straight away. I remember you telling me how much she meant to you.”

“Means to me,” she corrected. “Rose is going to be fine, and so am I.” Uncomfortable with Aiden’s intimacy, Catie inwardly cursed herself for ever allowing him to kiss her. Glancing sideways to determine what Sean might be making of Aiden’s familiarity, Catie surprisingly found an unnerving glower that went far beyond jealousy. She curiously looked back at Aiden and asked, “Have you two met?”

“Oh, yes.” Dropping Catie’s hands, Aiden finally gave Sean an acknowledging nod. “Paddy and I met at your garden party. Good times, eh, Paddy?”

Aiden’s words did not ease Sean’s expression. If anything, his eyes piercingly narrowed and he visibly stiffened.

“Sean,” Catie asked. “Do you know Aiden?”

Softening his face just enough to look at her, he answered through a clenched jaw, “I know all of him I care to know.”

All at once, Catie was struck by a revelation. Before Audrey left school that night, she had said, “Sean Kelly interrupted us.” Sean Kelly knew who took Audrey from school. He had seen them together at the garden party. “You!” she turned squarely on Aiden Hirst and shouted accusingly. “You took Audrey from school and then put her out to walk back. She was expelled because of you. How could you, Aiden?”

Aiden looked spitefully at Sean and back at her as a lopsided smirk crept up one side of his face. “Audrey and I had a few laughs, but she was willing. No one forced her from school that afternoon.”

“Save your excuses for her father, Aiden,” Catie said in a threatening tone, seething from his arrogant nerve. “He has wanted nothing more than to know who took Audrey from school, who took advantage of her. I’m sure he will be glad to give you the opportunity to say your peace.”

Gone quickly was the charming boy Catie had met last spring. Aiden’s face suddenly blazed with a violent anger. Seeming to forget Sean, he grabbed her under the arm and jerked her up onto her toes. “You’ll do as your slutty friend did and keep your bloody mouth shut!” His face was less than an inch from Catie’s, and his throaty voice spat in her eyes.

“Take your filthy hands off of her, you bloody bastard.” Sean’s Ulster accent was suddenly deep and gruff.

In the brief fleeting stillness, Catie watched Aiden’s bulging eyes cut sharply over her head at Sean. “Bugger off, Paddy — ” he started, but color drained from his face as his eyes traveled slowly back to Catie’s. The sharp pain in his leg, caused by her riding boot that had just slammed solidly into his shin, made him release her. “You bitch!” He hobbled delicately backwards.

As soon as Aiden was a few safe steps away from Catie, Sean stepped between them. “It’s time someone taught you a little respect for women, mate,” he said as he drew back and crushed the finely chiseled nose with a well-landed fist. Aiden’s eyes went wide with surprise, and he staggered backwards.

Charged with rage, Sean made up the space Aiden had put between them with two quick steps and then dealt another blow into his midsection. Aiden folded in half and then fell to the ground with a dull thud. Gasping, he instinctively curled into a protective ball. Sean stood over the coiled body, casting a lengthy shadow from the late afternoon sun that had reappeared after the rain. “Do not ever touch her again.” Sean’s tone had an eerie casualness to it.

Aiden moaned softly.

“I said.” Sean reached down and pulled Aiden to his feet by the front of his shirt and shook him fiercely. “Don’t ever touch her again!”

“All right,” Aiden croaked weakly. “All right!” Now standing, he coughed and wiped the blood pouring from his nose on the sleeve of his jacket. He ventured a glance at Catie and then turned and limped back up the path.

“Are you okay?” Sean turned to see her rubbing gingerly at her arm. “Did he hurt you?

Catie shook her head. “I’m all right.”

He came over and pulled her under his chin. “Look, if you’re going to be my girl, you must let me fight the men, aye?”

“Aye,” she said back, unable to repress a faint smile. “Sorry.”