Echoes of Love (10 page)

‘The Marines from 45 Commando are being flown home to RAF Lyneham . . . commander praised the swift and selfless action of Second Lt. Felix Wentworth . . . prevented a far greater
disaster. Second Lt Wentworth threw himself . . .’

It was at that moment that Marina heard Anna’s footsteps on the stone floor. She turned, gasped and reached instantly for the remote control.

‘Don’t bother, I already know.’ Anna couldn’t keep the note of anger out of her voice. Why did everyone tread so carefully around the issue of her and Felix? Treat any
mention of the past as if they were delving back into something murky and sordid?

‘You know? How come?’ Marina looked both embarrassed and anxious.

‘I heard it on the car radio,’ Anna lied. ‘If I hadn’t turned up right then, you wouldn’t have said a word about it, would you?’

Marina came over and rested a hand on her shoulder, her tone softening. ‘No darling, in all honesty, I wouldn’t. What would have been the point? It’s over, in the past, all
that nasty business. And now that you’re over your crush . . .’

‘How dare you call it that?’ All Anna’s pent-up emotions, all the months of being the good daughter, the obedient one, spilled over in a waterfall of words. ‘I loved him
– I still do. I miss him like hell, and I know now that I should never, ever have listened to you and Dad. You used Mummy’s memory to persuade me – and she’d never have
wanted me to be so miserable!’

Anna was amazed at her own courage. Confrontation was something she normally avoided at all costs.

‘Now come on, sweetheart, that’s just not true,’ Marina replied briskly, turning her attention to re-arranging a perfectly tidy pile of magazines on the coffee table.
‘She wanted the very best for you, and Felix and that mother of his were not it.’

‘I wasn’t going out with his mother,’ Anna protested.

‘Look, don’t let’s rake all that up again,’ Marina urged. ‘What’s done is done.’

‘And did you honestly think I wouldn’t have found out about what’s happened? I do watch the news, you know.’

Marina sighed and nodded. ‘Oh, I know you would in time – I guess I just wanted to protect you. It’s been a difficult day for you, the move and . . .’

‘Protect me? Is that what you thought you were doing last year?’

Marina nodded again. ‘And I still do. And while we’re on the subject . . .’ She gestured to Anna to sit down on the ample sofa overlooking the garden, and sank down beside her.
‘The new tenants of Hampton House,’ she continued. ‘I know who they are.’

‘Yes, you said,’ Anna replied swiftly, her heart banging in her chest. ‘She’s an artist and he’s writing a book.’

‘Anna, give me some credit. I asked a few questions after you ran off in such a state. She’s Felix Wentworth’s aunt.’

‘And I suppose you couldn’t wait to tell Dad?’

‘I haven’t said a word to your father. I wanted to be sure the paperwork was all in place and he couldn’t back out of the deal,’ Marina assured her.

‘Thank you,’ Anna said.

‘Oh, I didn’t do it for you,’ her godmother told her. ‘I did it because your father needs to get an income from that house as fast as possible or he will go under. Even
you don’t know the true extent of the financial mess he’s got himself into.’ She took Anna’s hand. ‘Now listen, darling, you’re older now and more mature, and
I’m sure you can see how right your father and I were to persuade you to break off that rather unfortunate relationship.’

‘Unfortunate for who, exactly?’ Anna struggled to contain her anger.

‘You,’ Marina said shortly. ‘You were so young, and he was – well, from such a different background, different lifestyle – and then, of course, with the way his
mother behaved . . .’

‘That was hardly his fault.’

‘And it’s not your father’s fault that he wants better things for you,’ Marina said firmly. ‘So if Felix does visit his aunt – not that it’s likely now,
and I’m sure it will only be a fleeting visit because a young man won’t want to hang around with a couple of old fogies for his entire leave – well, just don’t go getting
any silly ideas.’

‘I won’t,’ Anna smiled wanly. Getting back with Felix didn’t in her book qualify as a remotely silly idea.

‘That’s my girl – never look back, that’s my motto,’ Marina urged. ‘Think about the future – a lovely summer ahead of you, and then off to uni in
Exeter. You’ll meet lots of nice boys there, and one day you’ll find someone who will love you as you deserve to be loved. Someone who fits in with our way of life. Set your sights on
all that.’

Anna gave a half smile. Of course, Marina wasn’t aware that she’d originally chosen Exeter University for the simple reason that it was as close as she could get to where Felix would
be based once he passed out. But her godmother was right about one thing: it was the future that mattered. Felix was coming home and she had one last chance to put things straight. Keeping Marina
in the dark as to her intentions was more important than winning this particular argument.

‘Yes, that’s true,’ she sighed, with what she hoped was just the right amount of apology in her voice. ‘What’s done is done. And thanks so much for letting me stay
here. You know, with the band and everything . . .’

The meekness of her tone had the desired effect.

‘You’re welcome, darling,’ her godmother said, giving her a hug. ‘I knew you’d see things my way. And, although I wasn’t certain at first, maybe this band of
yours is a good thing. Keep your mind occupied.’

She leaned back on the cushions with an air of satisfaction. ‘Now, let’s talk about more cheerful matters, shall we?’

‘Actually,’ Anna said, biting her tongue. ‘I wanted to ask you about the village Festival. I mean, will the Crofts still open up the garden?’

‘All sorted,’ Marina declared. ‘Actually, they’re frightfully keen. I think they see it as a way of getting to know people. And Ruth seems a jolly, outgoing sort of soul.
I suppose those West Indian sorts are.’

‘That is such a stereotype . . .’ Anna began, but Marina was in full flood.

‘Sadly, I’ll be in Madeira on my gardening society’s annual trip – but of course Bea Musgrove’s on the committee and she’ll take the Crofts under her wing,
make sure they know what’s expected of them.’

Anna cringed inwardly at the patronising tone of Marina’s voice but continued to smile sweetly.

‘I know it will be agony for you to go, darling,’ Marina went on, ‘but I spoke to your father, and he said he’d be glad if you could just manage to pop in for an hour or
so, just to fly the family flag and all that.’ She paused. ‘And I’m sure the nephew won’t be there,’ she murmured half to herself.

‘Sure,’ Anna smiled serenely. ‘No problem at all. In fact, I’ll look forward to it.’

So where was home now? Certainly not the apartment in Eastbourne – not yet at any rate – and lovely though it was, obviously not Marina’s cottage. Suddenly she remembered a
little stone plaque that her grandmother used to have hanging in her kitchen.

Home,
it read,
is where the heart is.

Her heart was where it had been every day since she had first met him. With Felix. She loved her family, infuriating as they could be – but she had to admit that, with them, she had always
played the role they’d given her; she was the helpful, bookish, slightly timid one who hated confrontation and was good at sorting out other people’s messes. Why did she do that, she
thought angrily. Why was she so willing to let other people decide what was best for her?

She stuffed a pile of T-shirts into one of the dressing table drawers and wandered over to the window. Gazing out over the neighbouring fields, the thought that had so often niggled at her from
the back of her mind reared its ugly head again.

Had Felix really loved her the way she had loved him? And, if he had, why hadn’t he answered any of her emails or texts in the weeks following the break up? She had begged for a second
chance – but he clearly hadn’t been interested. Why?

Then, as clearly as if he was standing in the room beside her, his words echoed in her head.

‘It’s not going to work, Anna. You’re never going to put us first – you’ll always let someone else tell you what to do.’

Well, he was wrong about one thing. She wasn’t always going to do that. Not any more. With a bit of luck, Felix would be staying with Ruth within a week or two – but for how long?
This time she had to act and act decisively if she was ever going to put right the mess she had allowed to happen.

Sighing impatiently, she turned away from the window, her mind bombarded with hundreds of thoughts and memories. Exactly when did it all start to go wrong? Was it that fateful TV programme? Or
before that, when Anna unwittingly played straight into the hands of Felix’s manipulative mother? Suddenly it felt imperative that she should get it all completely clear in her head; because
she had to make sure that she did things very differently this time round.

Abandoning the rest of her unpacking, she grabbed the battered tapestry holdall that had once belonged to her mother, the holdall in which she had hurled all her journals. She’d started
keeping a diary during the dark days of her mum’s last illness, and emptying her soul between the safe covers of a book was a habit she had kept up ever since.

Kicking off her sandals, she flopped down on the bed and emptied the journals on to the duvet. She picked up the bright pink one that she had started the week she met Felix and began flicking
through the pages. She skim-read the entries about ice-skating on the flooded courtyard of Fleckford Castle, the films they’d seen (or rather not seen much of because they were too busy
kissing one another), the days when they’d driven to Norfolk and walked for miles on Holkham beach. Then she paused at the entry for the beginning of April and, taking a deep breath, she
began to read.

CHAPTER 6

E
VERYTHING HAD HAPPENED SO FAST
. F
ELIX AND
Z
AC HAD
both been accepted for Commando Training with the
Royal Marines and had been on a real high for days. Anna had tried her hardest to be pleased for him, but when she discovered that he’d be away for thirty-two weeks with only a couple of
breaks, she felt as if someone had stuck a knife through her chest.

‘Hey, don’t look so sad,’ he had said. ‘We can email and phone and, anyway, three weeks after we begin, families get to come and suss out what we’re up to –
spend the day and all that. You’ll come, right?’

‘But I’m not family.’

‘I want you there. And they let girlfriends come – I checked!’

He wants me there. I’m his girlfriend. Anna had hung on to those words, repeating them to herself like a mantra. ‘I think it’s high time I met this black guy you’re
hanging out with.’

Walter and the girls, along with Marina and Araminta (who happened to be ‘just passing’ – something she did amazingly frequently considering she lived ninety miles away), were
just finishing supper when Walter mentioned this.

‘Why do you keep on about his colour?’ Anna demanded, flicking cracker crumbs off the new dress she had bought for Leo Hayter’s party. ‘You didn’t refer to Zac as
“that white guy”, did you?’

‘That’s different, he was . . .’

‘His mum’s white,’ Anna went on. ‘She’s really into good causes and stuff. And she’s standing for parliament. ‘

Even as she spoke, she despised herself for immediately going on the defensive. What did it matter what colour his mother was or what she did or didn’t do? Except that she knew her father
always warmed to high profile people.