“I cook for Crystal daily. My aerobics class was a twelve-week course, not sixteen, and a ponytail has always been my preferred style.”
“I know you. You’re hiding from your feelings. When’s the last time you walked the neighborhood? Hell, it’s spring. Your favorite time of year. There are flowers all over the damned place, the trees are blooming, but this place looks like a morgue. This isn’t like you. Why are you shutting me out? I’m here for you.”
“Men.” She continued editing her report.
How could he be the shoulder she’d lean on if she wouldn’t open up to him? He buried his frustration in exchange for love, care, patience and a bit of cunning. He knelt beside her. “You’re hiding your pain behind your responsibilities. No matter what happens, we’ve always been friends. I can’t stand by and allow you to close yourself off from the world.”
She sighed, stopped typing and slowly turned to him. “I truly appreciate what you’re trying to do. I’m fine. Honestly.”
“How can you be fine when the man you love walked out of your life? You can’t tell me you aren’t affected.”
“What do you suggest I do? Beg him to take me back? Stop living my life? Yes, I love Richard, and I’m hurt. But you know what? I’ll survive, just as I did when you broke my heart. I’ve learned from my mistakes. It’s time to move on.”
Stunned by her response, as well as the harsh tone, he was at a loss for words. He quickly searched his mind for a new angle.
“Are you finished?” she asked. “I have work to do.”
“You’ve been done with your thesis since December. You’re hiding behind the computer screen, making excuses to avoid people. This snappy, bitchy woman that’s been here these past few weeks isn’t you.”
“Yes, I handed in my thesis to the committee, but I still have an important presentation in a few days.” She saved her work, then shut down the computer. “Okay. Let’s get this over with.” She turned, giving him her undivided attention. “I’ll give you one night to play Mr. Psychology. After tonight, the subject of my love life is closed. Deal?”
“Deal.” They moved to the living room couch.
“So how do you want to do this?” she asked.
“I want for you to stop being so damn hostile.”
“I’m sorry.” She drew her legs up, then leaned her body against the armrest of the couch. “I shouldn’t take my bad mood out on you.”
“You’re always in a bad mood. Closing yourself off from everyone isn’t working. It’s time to try something different. We’ll always be friends. Let me be here for you.” As of late, she always looked worn out. He moved to her end of the couch, drawing her into his arms so she’d rest on his chest. As she relaxed her weight on him and softly cried, he knew she’d be his again.
“It’s all right. Let it all out.” He rocked her slowly, allowing her to finish her cry.
After she quieted, he asked, “What did you learn from our relationship?”
At first he thought she wouldn’t answer, then she finally said, “That being in love isn’t enough. I thought because we loved each other, we could conquer the world. It didn’t matter that your life wasn’t headed in the direction I wanted to go. Nothing mattered but the love we had for each other.”
“I screwed up, and you changed your mind.”
“I’m not stupid, Trae. I knew about the other women. Yes, I was embarrassed when I was confronted, but I had always known.”
“Why did you change your mind?”
“I loved you, but I discovered I love myself more. Women accusing me of taking food out of the mouths of their children was not what I wanted out of life, but a wake up call. I never wanted to run in the drug world. We wanted to move in different directions, so why was I following you?”
He listened closely. He had changed directions, and would prove it to her. He stroked her back, encouraging her to continue.
“When you gave me Crystal, I had to grow up. I decided what I wanted, how I would get there and worked toward my goals. Don’t take my Independent Woman card away, but it’s been a lonely journey. I want to share my life with someone.”
“What kind of man do you want?”
“Ooh, goin’ in for the kill tonight. I didn’t think he existed until I bumped into him on the train.”
Trae regrouped. Listening to her sing Richard’s praises was the last thing he wanted to hear. He hoped she’d give him some useful insight to use. “What was your mistake with Smoke?”
“I’ve been thinking about this since I visited him at the hospital. At the time I didn’t see it, but now it’s crystal clear. Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
“What?”
“You heard right. I thought I had met the man of my dreams. Instead of taking time to develop our relationship, I skipped steps so I could have the life I always wanted. I tried to build Rome in a day.”
“You did your part. It’s Smoke who messed things up.”
“We both rushed into the relationship, needing something we thought the other could provide, telling ourselves it was love at first sight. We both rushed to make the family we always wanted. When our relationship was tried, we found out we didn’t really know each other. Richard needed someone who believed in him. It took me days to realize something that if I had known him, I would have realized in seconds.”
He didn’t agree with her assessment of the situation at all. He knew she spoke out of pain. He needed to make his move before she began thinking clearly again. “Every couple fights. He ran out without trying to work it through. He gave up before he gave it a chance.”
“He needed time to cool off and regroup, just as I did when I found out you were about to become a baby daddy and was selling drugs. I’m sure he reevaluated our relationship. Did he want a woman who didn’t believe in him, in hopes that she would have faith in him someday? Is that what he wanted out of life? He was at the crossroad I was at years ago with you. Then the realities of my world were literally beat into him. I know I said we could talk about this all night, but I’m tired.”
“Some day you’ll love again.”
“Love’s highly overrated. My next relationship will be a business deal. Where are marriages arranged these days, India?”
“Can I pick him out?”
“I think I might be onto something here.”
Confident he would win her back, he wrapped his arm around her.
* * *
Trae thumbed through the pages of the photo album Ebony had given him for Christmas. If everything went according to plan, he’d have his happy family, but he needed to work quickly. The doorbell rang. He set the album on his new glass coffee table, then answered the door.
“Come on in, Skeet.” He stepped to the side. “Why are you wearing a suit? Did someone die?” He closed the door, then returned to his seat.
“I always wear a suit to the hospital.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t want to scare Richard’s family to death. I told them I’m a professional football player.”
Trae laughed. “You are out of your mind. How is he?”
“His grandfather’s taking him back to Texas for a sabbatical of sorts.”
Turning cartwheels inwardly, looking saddened and concerned outwardly, Trae said, “Follow him to Texas and convince him to take Ebony back. She’s miserable without him.”
“Why the hell you think I’ve been taking Crystal to see him? Damn!” He kicked at the table, then leaned back in the recliner. “If he believed his lame-assed excuse for their break-up, I’d have a chance.”
“What do you mean?”
“He loves Ebony. He knows she believes in him.”
“So why doesn’t his trick ass tell her? This is jacked the hell up. If he loved her, he’d tell her.”
“He’s scared. I see it in his eyes. His fear keeps him away.” He smoothed his hands over his braids. “This is some stupid assed shit. They love each other.”
Trae rubbed a kink out of his neck. Soon Ebony would love him. All he needed was time to show her he was what she really wanted. But first he needed to finish his snow job on Skeet. “Why the hell did I go over there?”
“It’s too late now.”
“I feel like shit.”
“Good. This is all your fault. I should tell her you’re the one who beat Smoke.”
“No!” His mind ran faster than the speed of light. “She’ll never let me see Crystal again. Hell, Ebony still has scars from when Marissa kicked Dan out of their lives. Don’t do this to Crystal.”
“Calm the hell down. I already thought of that. Smoke and Ebony will survive. I’m staying quiet for Crystal.”
An awkward silence filled the room.
“There’s been something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about, but you’ve been busy with Smoke,” Trae mumbled.
“What?”
“I’m getting out.”
“Out of what?”
“The drug life. Damn! You ain’t smoking that shit, are you?”
“Ebony won’t fall out of love with Smoke for you because you leave the drug life.”
“For a second I considered staying in, because I knew you’d think I’m doing this to win Ebony back. I realized that’s some stupid elementary school shit. Hell, I’m a grown-assed man. I shouldn’t have to lead a life I no longer want because
you
think I have ulterior motives. I’ve been wanting out for over a year now. After the way I acted with Smoke, I know I need out before it’s too late.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“Dead serious.”
Skeet’s deep, hearty laugh filled the room. “What the hell is this world coming to? I’ve been wanting out also. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I want kids of my own. Kids I don’t have to give back. I want a family.”
Trae held his hand out to his friend. “I guess we’ve both finally grown up.” They did a quick brotha shake, then settled in their seats.
“We can’t both cut out now, though,” Skeet said.
“I know.”
“You’ve had this on your mind longer than me. I’ll finish up our business.”
“You don’t have to do this.”
“One of us has to minimize the war we’re about to start. In a few months, we’ll both be free.”
“I don’t want you telling Ebony. She’ll think I’m getting out to chase after her. I love Ebony, but I’m doing this for me.” He knew Skeet couldn’t keep his mouth shut. By the end of the day, Ebony would begin realizing that he was the new and improved man of her dreams.
“I ain’t sayin’ shit.”
“Remember that row of condos I showed you over by Chinatown? I bought them. I had planned on giving them to Ebony as a wedding gift. I figured if they ever divorced, she’d have property of her own. Now that I’m getting out, I want her out of the neighborhood. I can’t keep her safe. Do you think she’ll take an early graduation gift?”
“She’s so funny. You’d better make sure she knows they come from legit channels. Give me a few minutes. I’ll think of something. How are you gonna clean up your businesses?”
“Dan’s been helping me for the past year.”
“Your ass really was serious. Damn, dawg, I’m sorry I doubted you.” He fidgeted in his seat. “Dan’s been helping me tie up loose ends for the past few months,” he lied. “At least we were smart enough to clean the money as we received it. Think of the mess we’d be in now if we didn’t.” He picked up the album and flipped through the pages. “If you tell Ebony Crystal’s in danger, she’ll move. The only problem is money. She doesn’t have any.”
Trae smiled. Having Skeet think he came up with the idea to move Ebony away from her family and friends was brilliant. “She decided to take the job with Banks Consulting. They offer a sign-on bonus. I’m sure I can convince her new boss to slide her a few extra thousand.”
“Sounds like a good plan.” He stretched his long legs out. “I’m not stupid, you know.”
Trae choked on the lump of anxiety caught in his throat. “What are you talking about?”
“You’ve been after Ebony since y’all were shorties. Here you are changing your life around. You’re becoming the man she’s always wanted. You expect me to believe you won’t go after her?”
Trae smoothed the imaginary wrinkles out of his jersey. “I’ve never hidden my feelings for Ebony. I’ve also always done my own thing in spite of those feelings.” He was relieved to see Skeet nod in agreement. “Do I want Ebony? Hell yeah! But I’m still gonna do my do. She has to accept me as I am, just as I’ve accepted her.”
“Damn. That’s some deep shit there.” He stood to leave.
“Don’t tell Ebony my plans. She doesn’t need anything else put on her plate. I’ll tell her after I’ve arranged for her to receive a nice-sized sign-on bonus.”
“I know when to shut my mouth.”
The aroma of rosemary and other herbs wafted from the kitchen as Ebony stirred the simmering chicken quarters.
“Would you cut the onions for me, Skeet?” He washed his hands and took a chopping board and knife to the table. He had been visibly upset all afternoon. “You’ve barely said a word today. What’s wrong?” She diced tomatoes.
After a long silence, he said, “I have a lot on my mind.”
“Such as?”
“I can’t tell.”
“Oh, I see. It’s work.” Disheartened, she scooped up the tomato pieces and placed them into a bowl. At least Meechie had agreed to speak with one of the counselors from the rehabilitation center. Now all she had to do was beg Dan for the money to pay for the program she prayed Meechie would agree to attend.