Easy Bake Coven (21 page)

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Cheney growled.

I was both relieved I was not really being attacked and furious he knocked me over. “Mind your own business. I can’t even go for a run without you tackling me?”

“I did not wait twenty-six years for you to watch you kill yourself.”

I was about to roll my eyes and tell him what an overprotective bastard he was. He had no right to keep me prisoner here—his wife or not. Then I noticed where we were. I’d been running full speed toward the edge of a cliff.

“Last I checked you couldn’t fly,” Cheney added snidely.

No retort was within my grasp. The rocky, tree-laden bottom would have broken and crushed me beyond recognition. A small voice in my head pointed out how exhilarating the fall would have been though.

I’m losing my mind.

Sinking back down to the ground, I wrapped my arms around my knees and looked up at the sky.
I could use some help . . . any time now.

Blood trickled down my arm and leg, dripping on the ground and collecting in my shoe and sock. I stretched out the injured leg, not wanting to ruin my shoe. I’d almost died.

Chaney’s snapped his fingers in front of my face. “Did you hit your head?” he asked impatiently as if he was repeating himself. “Come back inside. You need to get cleaned up.”

“Just leave me alone,” I muttered. All I wanted to do was sit out here and keep myself from slipping away. There was little doubt which part of me pulled this stunt tonight—
her
. I was not impulsive. I didn’t even like to run very much; I only did it for the health benefits. I needed to mediate, do some moon salutations. Find the calmer, human Selene. Half-elf Selene wasn’t going to win. I didn’t even like her.

“No,” he said, yanking me off the ground and flashing us back into the house. He dragged me to the kitchen by my arm as I struggled to pull away.

“Let me go!” I demanded, sounding like a petulant child even to my own ears.

Calm Selene, calm Selene,
calm Selene
, I repeated in my head. I swallowed my pride and followed Cheney of my own free will. Calm, human Selene knew this was right. I needed to take care of my injuries before I could do anything else. Leaning against the counter, I waited patiently for Cheney to get whatever he was digging for in the cabinet. He glanced up at me several times, his brows knitting together.

“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?” he asked again.

“Not that I know of. It doesn’t feel like I hit my head.”

He sighed and stood up, obviously giving up on whatever he was looking for. He closed his eyes and grabbed a bottle of rubbing alcohol from air. “This is going to sting,” he warned, tearing my shirt to the collar before pouring the alcohol down my arm.

My shoulder to elbow was a bloody mess of purple bruises and scrapes that sizzled beneath the alcohol. I pulled in a sharp breath but didn’t complain. Once he was satisfied with the cleanliness of my wounds, Cheney rubbed the same cream he’d given to me earlier over my arm. It stung worse than the alcohol. It felt like he was tearing my skin off with each touch. Tears came to my eyes.

“Take off your shorts,” he directed, not looking me in the eye. I did so without complaint or argument. My hip and thigh were much in the same shape as my shoulder and arm had been. We went through a similar process of cleaning and rubbing the cream over them. Cheney stood back up. “You’re being too quiet.”

Making direct eye contact with him I said, “I almost died tonight.”

“I won’t let you die.”

I sighed. “I’m going outside.” I squeezed past him, detouring to my room and picking up a pair of yoga pants from the floor and sliding into them painfully. Cheney didn’t understand. He couldn’t stop her from killing me. Hell, he wanted her to—it was the only way to get her back.

Cheney caught my good arm before I left the bedroom. “Did you mean to do this tonight? You would rather die than be with me?” His voice held so much emotion that I was scared to look at him. Scared my resolve would melt away, and I would fall into his arms.

“No, I don’t want to die. I didn’t know the cliff was there. I was lost in the moment. Never saw it coming.”

“What were you doing out there?”

A single tear streamed down my cheek. “Losing myself.” I pulled away from him and limped outside. This time I did not go far from the house. I went to a small grass clearing where I could see the moon and I sat on the ground, cringing in pain as I bent my leg underneath me.

I stretched my arms toward the moon, pulling them back into me three times while ignoring the pain in my shoulder. Popping my neck on the right, then the left, I searched for my center. My place of balance where everything could be solved and problems became clear. The place where I could commune with the universe and feel its response. Eventually I found it—buried deep within myself, underneath the turmoil and confusion of the last few days. Peace surrounded me like a hug; my mind opened to the world around me. “I need guidance, a sign. I don’t know what to do. Please help me understand and lead me in the direction that is truest to my heart. Help me find the strength and wisdom to make it through these trials.” I stated my need to the universe aloud and waited for its response, but I felt nothing in return. After an hour, I got to my feet, determined to have faith the universe would respond when it knew what I should do with this mess.

Inside the house Cheney stood at the windows in the living room, staring out. He would have been looking over me, but at least he gave me enough privacy not to follow me outside. He didn’t turn around or say anything. The silence thickened the air in the room until I could hardly breathe. I walked out without a word, heading straight for bed.

Cheney and I had spoken enough for one evening. There was too much and nothing to say.

The next two weeks went by in a blur of hard work and plenty of pain. I wasn’t improving at Sebastian’s challenges. If anything, I was worse. Cheney and I barely spoke four words to one another, and Sebastian pushed me as hard as he could, but I couldn’t do what he asked. I couldn’t dodge the darts, I couldn’t avoid the tennis balls, I couldn’t move as fast as he wanted, and my sword fighting was pitiful at best. Some people are cut out for things like this and some aren’t—I was definitely the latter. I kept my temper in check all week, however, and I added a morning yoga regime to my daily routine. The half-elf was safely locked away.

I missed my friends and Grandma terribly. Having them around may have made the seclusion and torturous routines bearable, but it wasn’t an option. So I trudged through my day-to-day, falling deeper and deeper into a funk. To top everything off, I lost my iPod the night Cheney tackled me. I’d gone back several times to look for it, but it was nowhere.

Mourning my iPod for the thousandth time, I made my way down to Sebastian, ready for another day of tennis dodge ball.
Oh joy.

I nodded, no longer able to find the energy to give him the hearty, teasing hello like I used to. Sebastian nodded back, his silvery eyes as concerned as ever. “Sit down, Selene.”

Plopping down next to him I asked, “Am I being reprimanded for something or do you have inspiring words of wisdom?”

“Neither.” I looked at him with slightly more interest. “I try to stay out of your and Cheney’s relationship. It has never been smooth, but it has always been stronger than anything I could understand. The two of you have been moping around for two weeks, and it is affecting your progress. So I’m going to break my own rule and get involved. What happened?”

“Ask Cheney,” I mumbled, not wanting to talk about it.

“Cheney wouldn’t tell me if I did ask him. That’s why I am asking you. You and I have always spoken our minds to one another. That’s why we became friends. Besides, even if Cheney did tell me, he wouldn’t listen to my advice. Cheney has only ever listened to one person.”

“And who might that be?”

“You. Now what has happened?”

“You won’t understand any better than he does.”

“We’ll never know at this rate.”

“I’m not who you guys think I am—or, at least, I don’t want to be that person. You both have this idea of who Selene is. This mythical creature—all freedom, impulsiveness, and charisma. That isn’t me. I’m not her.” I swallowed the emotion balling in my throat. “And I don’t want to be her. I don’t like her very much. I do, however, like me, but no one else seems to.” I fought an internal battle to keep my eyes from filling with tears.

“And you’ve told this to Cheney?”

“No. I told him I didn’t want to date him anymore.”

Sebastian sat across from me quietly, watching me with eyes like puddles of silver paint. “You’re absolutely right. We have both ignored the person in front of us. You have changed and I dare say for the better, too. You exhibit more self-control, composure, and kindness than you ever had before. We are lucky to have the person you are now on our side.”

Now I couldn’t keep the tears from spilling over the edge. “I’m probably not as much fun as I used to be,” I said with a half-hearted chuckle.

“You used to get mad and destroy whatever was around you. Houses would crumble, the ground would shake . . . It was terrifying.”

“That still happens.”

“Does it?”

“Well, twice. Once when my parents died and the other time after Cheney first came to get me.”

“He was the only one who could get through to you when you were like that.” I shrugged not understanding what that was supposed to mean to me. “Nevertheless, twice in twenty-six years is impressive. It used to happen twice a week at least. You could never be certain what would set you off. You were like a walking, talking, laughing bomb.” He frowned at the memory. “Honestly, when you left us, I thought it was a blessing. I’ve always liked you, but I worried about you being with Cheney. He’s the future king of our people, and he couldn’t have a wife such as you were. I think he knew it, too—though he would never admit it. Cheney has never had an ounce of self-control when it came to you.”

“But that’s just it. It isn’t me. It’s
her
. He loves her, and I can’t compete with his memory of her. She always wins because she’s a glorified memory and I’m a flawed human. He wants the half-elf I was back, but I won’t allow it. I won’t lose myself to her.”

Sebastian nodded. “And that’s why you’re not progressing. These tasks are designed for elves. They are not humanly possible to master at the level we expect.”

“So what are we going to do?”

He sighed. “I understand why you don’t want the half-elf back—especially given what little you know about her—but consider this: you are stronger now. You can rein her in. Both halves are you. You are both the human and the elf. Suppressing either one keeps you from being whole. Perhaps what you need to do is allow both sides to coexist.”

“What if she takes over?”

“What if she doesn’t?”

“I can’t take that risk.”

“That’s understandable, but you should at least consider the possibility.”

“I will. So what are we going to do today?”

“The same thing we do every day. I don’t know how to train a human to fight with elves, so unless we can figure out a way to utilize your half-elf abilities, there’s no way you will ever defend yourself. We’ll have to tell Cheney.”

I wrinkled my nose at the thought.

“You should tell Cheney what you told me anyway. He’s amazingly understanding when it comes to you. He might take it better than you expect.”

“Not likely,” I said, standing up, ready to begin. I felt better having voiced the internal battle I’d been fighting. “But where is he anyway?”

“I don’t know. He said he had things to do, and you needed to be finished by eight. Enough chit-chat. Let’s get started.”