East of Ashes (8 page)

Joash considered it briefly, and then answered: "Yes, I do."

"Then you have nothing to lose by telling Leala how you feel about her. Because if she doesn't love you back, then she's not God's choice for you and you're no worse off. But if she does feel the same... then you might just have found your wife."

"But that completely ignores her feelings in the matter," Joash replied.

"Yes, it does," Armand replied, "But you don't have any control over how she feels. You only know how
you
feel. Telling her how you feel about her won't hurt her. You've known her long enough now to have a very good idea of what she's about, so it's not like you're projecting this image of who you think she is and falling in love with that. If you really love her, then it's based on reality - on who she really is. No girl will hate being loved for who she is. If anyone gets hurt, it will be you but that's part of the risk you must be willing to take as a man."

"Besides, if you
don't
tell her, you
will
be hurt. But if you do tell her, she might feel the same - isn't that a risk worth taking?"

Joash looked at Armand for a moment and then grinned.

"Well, if you put it like that..."

Armand laughed and patted Joash on the back: "So then just tell her so that this old man can stop worrying!"

Joash laughed: "Fine, fine!"

Unbeknownst to them, Lamech had been watching them closely. Having heard every word, he was about to get up and leave when a loud knock on the front door made him stop and turn around.

Sarah leaped to her feet and shuffled to the door, while Armand followed at a more subdued pace.

Opening the door, she stood back as a tall, thin-faced man with a neatly trimmed beard ducked in to get out of the rain. Once inside he straightened up, gave an expressive sigh of relief and then exclaimed for all to hear: "I do believe the Lord Almighty is watering the plants today! Praise God!"

Behind him, two muscular men entered quietly and stood behind their master, apparently oblivious to being drenched.

"Good evening! You must be looking for a place for the night?" Sarah beamed at the newcomers.

"Indeed! And a spot in front of that fire to warm up will be great!" the tall man answered, pointing with his head towards where Lamech was standing. Then he sniffed the air.

"And what is that wonderful smell?" he groaned.

"Let me show you to your rooms and then I'll fix you a bite to eat!" Sarah giggled with pleasure.

She led the three newcomers up the stairs, while Armand took their wet coats and hanged them next to the fireplace to dry.

A few minutes later Sarah came bouncing down the stairs to prepare some food for the visitors, followed closely by the tall stranger. He made straight for the table where Lamech had been sitting. Lamech, in no mood for company but intrigued by the newcomers, moved to the next table and sat down, his departure not even registering on the stranger
’s face
.

Apparently fully aware that everybody's attention was focussed on him, the mysterious visitor made a big show of first wiping the chair with his hand and then slowly easing himself down. Turning his back towards the fire and facing the rest of the room, he smiled broadly.

"That's much better!" he declared.

Joash had been eyeing him without saying a word but now he got up slowly and walked over.

"I know who you are," he said with a deep frown.

"Do you now?" the stranger answered with seemingly little interest while his two bodyguards came and stood on either end of the table.

"Yes," Joash breathed, "You're Gaal."

Leala, who had walked over to stand next to Joash, eyed him questioningly.

Gaal smiled serenely but did not say anything.

"You're here to gather support for the Crusade, aren't you?" Joash continued, "I saw you a few days ago in Avignon, speaking about it in the town square."

"You have me!" exclaimed Gaal, now smiling broadly. "The Lord's commandment precedes me!"

"Really? The Lord's commandment?" Joash asked rhetorically.

"Yes!" Gaal replied, his face glowing in rapture.

Leala could see Joash was struggling to keep his tongue in check and she was about to pull him away, when Gaal continued.

"But you're wrong about one thing," he chuckled.

Intrigued by the exchange, Lamech stood up and walked closer. Joash eyed him briefly before turning his gaze back at Gaal.

"And what would that be?" Joash asked, unable to ignore the bait.

 "I'm not here in Arles to proclaim the Lord Almighty's will," Gaal answered, watching Joash carefully, a dangerous smile playing on his lips.

"We're just staying the night. Tomorrow we'll be on our way to Marseilles where a garrison of Crusaders have gathered to depart for the Holy Land."

Leala gently laid a hand on Joash's arm as she realised what Gaal was doing. She was alarmed to find that Joash was quivering.

"And why are they heading to the Holy Land?" Joash asked rhetorically. He too had realised the trap that Gaal was about to spring, but he couldn't stop the words from pouring out of his mouth.

Gaal's smile faltered for a brief moment as a dangerous look flashed in his eyes. Then he laughed uproariously: "To free Jerusalem from the devil's followers, of course! It is God's will!"

Seething, Joash answered in a measured voice, clipping each word as he struggled to control himself: "Conquering Jerusalem and killing innocent people is not God's will. It's the will of greedy, power-hungry men!"

"Blasphemy!" Gaal shouted and jumped up in outrage.

His two bodyguards rushed towards Joash but Lamech was too quick for them. In a flash he stepped in front of Joash, facing the two bodyguards who came to an abrupt standstill before him.

Resting his hand on his sword, Lamech addressed the two guards in a cold, emotionless voice: "Step back."

When they didn't respond immediately, he lowered his head slightly and glared at them with murderous eyes. "This is going to end badly for you," he growled.

Unnerved by the blistering look in his eyes, they turned to their master for instructions.

Gaal watched Lamech for a few seconds, irritated at the intrusion and then nodded at his guards.

"And who might you be?" he asked quietly.

Lamech ignored him and turned to Joash and Leala instead. Picking up on his unspoken words, Leala pulled Joash back.

"Let's go," she urged softly as he reluctantly turned away from Gaal, still shaking. He allowed himself to be led away to their rooms.

When they reached the landing at the top of the staircase, Joash spun around and growled at Lamech: "I didn't need your help!"

Lamech merely looked at him.

"I'll be in my room," he answered and disappeared down the corridor. When he reached his room, he slipped inside but didn't close the door all the way. The corridor was poorly lit; concealing Lamech where he stood at the door, waiting to see what the other two would do.

"Come on," Leala said softly to Joash and led him to the outside balcony, closing the door behind them.

When the door clicked shut, Lamech emerged from his room and crept towards the door like a phantom. He leaned forward and placed his ear next to the keyhole to listen.

Sheltered from getting wet by an overhanging roof, Leala walked over to the railing and stared at the pouring rain. Joash leaned back against the door, his hands balled into fists next to his temples as he slowly shook his head.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

"I'm sorry," he finally said.

"For what? Gaal? I agree with you completely!" she exclaimed, turning around to face him.

"No, Lamech. He actually saved me back there," he said.

"Yes, he did," she smiled, "But don't apologise to me; go talk to him."

"I will," he answered. Then he dropped his arms to his side and let his head fall backwards.

"It's just..." he groaned in exasperation.

"What?" Leala asked holding her breath, hope against hope blooming in her heart as the sound of the rain drummed in her ears.
Could this finally be it
, she wondered.

Joash didn't disappoint.

"I see the way he looks at you," he groaned, "and I want to smash his head in!"

His words sent a shockwave through Leala as her world wobbled on its axis.

"What do you mean?" she managed.

Joash faltered slightly, worried that he had misread her. But he decided to soldier on.

"He looks at you as if you're his last chance."

"Last chance of what?" Leala asked, confusion written on her beautiful face.

"At life, at purpose - everything!" Joash exclaimed.

She knew that, as true as his words were, he was skirting around the real issue.

"Ignoring for a moment the fact that I don't want to be anybody's purpose," she said, a slight tremble of irritation registering in her voice, "is that really what's bothering you?"

"No..."

"Then what is it Joash?" Leala almost pleaded.

Joash looked at her, desperately fighting off the panic that threatened to engulf him.
Just tell her you idiot
, he told himself. His ears burned as the jealousy ate at him. Resigning to the moment, he spoke from the heart.

"I think he's falling in love with you," he said. Swallowing, he closed his eyes and continued: "And if he's who you want, then that's fine."

"But?" she asked softly, barely able to hear her own words as her heart pounded in her ears.

"But I wish you'd want me," he whispered.

Light exploded in Leala's heart as he said the words she had so longed to hear. Tears began rolling down her cheeks.

With unstable legs, Joash took a tentative step towards her.