Earthly Astonishments (14 page)

“How can I be of assistance to you and your lovely charges?”

“My name, sir, is Miss Ethelwyn MacLaren, Director of the MacLaren Academy.”

There was a wave of twittering from the girls when they heard Miss MacLaren’s first name. She shot them an icicle glare, and continued.

“You are harboring a runaway from my household employ, and I wish her returned to me, at once!”

“What, Madam, are you talking about?” Mr. Walters clearly had no idea.

“I am referring, sir, to Little Jo-Jo. I have put my fine girls at great risk, coming today to this sordid establishment, and I would appreciate your swift cooperation. She belongs to me, and I want her back.”

“But there must be some mistake, Madam.” Mr. Walters covered his surprise with a smooth reply. “Little Jo-Jo has arrived only recently from a foreign country.”

“Lies and chicanery!” Miss MacLaren was not charmed. “Do not use your schemes on me, sir!”

Josephine’s view was blocked by Catherine and Harriet shuffling sideways, but she was glad not to see Mr. Walters’s face while he heard this declaration.

“On the contrary, Madam, the person in question is engaged by me and shall remain so.” Mr. Walters’s intonation had cooled considerably.

Josephine heard a grim chuckle. The girls huddled together, expanding the view again.

“I think not, sir.” Miss MacLaren was waving a piece of paper, dangerously close to Mr. Walters’s moustache. “I have full proof of a transaction with her parents, giving myself ownership of the little runt, for as long as I require. This is a legal document, and you are breaking the law by employing her against my wishes!”

“And would you mind telling us just why she ran away, Miss Ethelwyn MacLaren?” Nelly sounded spitting mad. “And just what you’d do with her if she ever came back?”

The girls gasped in unison. Who would dare speak to the dreaded headmistress this way? Josephine wanted to clap her hands.

“Nelly!” Mr. Walters cautioned her.

“Mr. Walters! I am descended from one of the finest families in New York City! I am not accustomed to being addressed in this manner by ticket takers. Hand over that gruesome freak this instant, or I shall return with police officials to drag her out!”

Miss MacLaren’s demeanor was slipping quickly to something less than ladylike.

“Nelly?” Mr. Walters was syrupy again. Josephine wondered what idea had struck his brain. “Nelly, please go and find the dear child. And have Filipe come along too.”

Josephine nearly poked her head out in surprise. What was he up to? Filipe could be wanted for only one thing. The snakes.

osephine had never heard the cluster of IP ninnies so silent as when they were waiting for her to show up to her doom. She could see Miss MacLaren’s fleshy fingers smoothing down the flounces of her skirt, trying to calm her agitation.

Mr. Walters began to hum. To hum! A sinister signal indeed. The discomfort of everyone in the room was elevated by the carefree, tuneless burr coming from Mr. Walters’s throat.

Nelly was back in the doorway.

“Jo is not in her dressing room, sir,” she announced in an even clip. “My Charley says she was poorly and may have gone back to the boarding house.”

Josephine wondered if Charley had told his mother the truth. From her voice, she guessed yes, though Nelly needed no further reason to despise Miss MacLaren than her insults had already provided.

“What trick is this? You’ve hidden her somewhere! Do you take me for a fool?” The veins on Miss MacLaren’s nose were turning darker as she warmed up for another tirade. The girls pressed themselves against the crates.

She’ll burst her corset, with us all watching, thought Josephine.

“Did you want for me to come in here, Mr. Walters?” Filipe hovered in the doorway, eyeing the crowded room.

The girls stared at the snake trainer as if he were an exotic animal, with his tawny skin and shining mane of black hair. Josephine could see Harriet nudge Catherine, with a smirk. They had never been so near to anyone so handsome.

“Yes, Filipe. I believe it’s time for you to be back on exhibition in the main promenade. Is it Marco’s turn? Or Polo’s?”

Filipe hesitated and then apparently caught on to what was desired of him. He shimmied past the schoolgirls, perhaps closer than he needed to, and knelt before Marco’s cage. Not until that moment had any of the visitors even noticed that they were sharing the room with reptiles.

Catherine was the first to realize what must be in the cage. She started to moan before Filipe had even turned around, gripping Marco awkwardly. There was a group intake of horrified breath as the snake swayed.

“Usually, I wear him, no trouble,” apologized Filipe, with a lopsided smile. “But he is maybe nervous with so many pretty girls watching.” He fumbled to lift the snake into place across his shoulders, but it twisted with a strong tug and plunged to the floor.

Josephine’s yelp was easily lost in the screeching wails that filled the room. Marco shot across the floor, straight for Miss MacLaren’s white, buttoned shoes. The head-mistress
didn’t wait to see her fate. She swooned, with a whimper, and crashed to the ground, like a harpooned whale. Marco sideswiped past her, seeking cover.

Harriet and Felicia fainted in the same moment, falling over each other and blocking the doorway. Marco was trapped, and so was everyone else. In a chaotic uproar of grabbing and shoving, yanking and howling, the remaining students of MacLaren Academy tried to leave the room.

Amidst the knuckles and knees, Josephine could see Emmy crouched against a packing crate, sobbing into her hands. Filipe was on all fours, beckoning to Marco, who had found sanctuary behind the wardrobe.

“Do something to revive these bodies,” commanded Mr. Walters.

“With pleasure, sir!” Nelly clasped the handle of the fire bucket which stood next to the door. She flung water on the slack face of Miss MacLaren, who sat up spluttering. She had barely taken a breath before she was on her feet and babbling hysterically.

“Girls! Gather yourselves, girls! Get out! Get out! Who’s this? Harriet? Smack her! Wake her up! Get out! Run! Felicia? Up, girl! Run! Run!”

And run they did. After several collisions, and more squawking than inside a henhouse, the girls scurried down the corridor without looking back.

But Miss MacLaren paused in the doorway to point a threatening finger at Mr. Walters. She could not disguise the wobble in her voice.

“I’ll be back. And you will deliver my property, or I shall expose you for the lowdown fraud that you are!” She turned, with a final notion of majesty, and waddled quickly after her charges.

Mr. Walters sat in the chair with an emphatic sigh. Josephine unclenched her fingers, feeling stiff and shaken. If only they would all leave so that she could move again. She saw Nelly lean over Filipe on the floor.

“Is Marco all right?” she asked.

Filipe pulled him gently out of his hiding place, clicking his tongue as if he were cajoling a toddler.

“He will recover with no complaint.”

“Filipe!” Mr. Walters stood up to congratulate him. “You did a fine job! I will remember that on pay day!”

“Oh, thank you, Mr. Walters, sir!”

“Now, off you go. They’ll be missing you out front.”

Nelly stood aside to let Filipe past. Marco hung limply from his shoulder. He would not appear too menacing this afternoon.

Still in her hiding place, Josephine was suddenly aware of being unbearably hot. Her scalp was aflame. She was still wearing Cleopatra’s wig! She tore it off and dropped it silently at her feet.

“Nelly, I see why you might wish to protect Josephine from that bloated cow, but there is no excuse for her to miss a performance, certainly not without explanation, and I—”

“I don’t know where she is, sir. Charley says he told her to wait, but she’s gone. She must have been that afraid.”

“Indeed?” Mr. Walters’s voice had gone flat. “Who’s on duty at the ticket booth, Nelly?”

“My Charley’s there now.”

“He should be on exhibit. And you should be taking the money. That’s what I pay you for. Go.”

Josephine could hear Nelly’s voice, coming in from the hallway. “All I know is, she’s a wee thing and shouldn’t be out there on her own.” The door closed.

Mr. Walters was back near his desk, where Josephine couldn’t see him. What if he stayed there for hours? Wasn’t he going to look for her? Or send out a search party? She heard papers shifting. What if he chose to work instead?

She felt as though she was under six blankets. How much longer could she stand it? Her neck was hot, her forehead was perspiring, her nose tickled. Oh, no! She was going to sneeze! She clamped her mouth closed and pinched her nose and pressed her tongue against her teeth. She couldn’t sneeze! Not now!

Ahhh. The sneeze went away. But how long would it be before another one came along? Oh, and how hot it was!

Suddenly her anguish ended. Mr. Walters was on his feet and out the door. Maybe he’d gone to summon the policemen who patrolled the beach. She had better move quickly. She stepped out from between the coats and
fanned her skirt away from her legs. Even that small breeze was a relief. She lifted her damp hair and shook her head back and forth, cooling the back of her neck.

Without warning, the door swung open again. She was caught. Mr. Walters was consulting his watch and didn’t even see her, in the first second. It was when he slipped the watch back into his vest pocket and adjusted the chain that he noticed her.

They both stood frozen. They could have been the same height, their eyes were so steadily locked.

“Josephine.”

“Mr. Walters.”

“You have caused immeasurable trouble.” He was eerily calm. “But I suppose you know that. Have you been here all along?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Marco performed admirably, did he not?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And I see that the door to his cage is still open.”

“Sir?”

“It is a strict rule that Exhibitions never miss an appearance. I expect you to be onstage at the required times, including five o’clock this afternoon. You undoubtedly wish to avoid the unpleasant Miss MacLaren. Thus, as a reminder of the regulations, and for your own protection, I must request that you get into Marco’s cage.”

o amount of pleading would change his mind. In the end, Mr. Walters held Josephine by the shoulder and forced her into Marco’s cage, pushing her head in first with his huge hand. The train of her Cleopatra shift was caught in the door when he closed the latch.