earthgirl (11 page)

I preferred lying in bed with the phone to my ear listening to the purring of his voice to the cold sameness of reading words on a computer screen. Even if my mother called me retro and Clare the mouth-breather accidentally-on-purpose picked up at least once per call.

“What's going on?” I asked.

“Just some stuff. Me and Finn and Eric have plans.”

“I don't think I've met Eric,” I said, wondering what these plans might be and why he wouldn't say.

“He plays bass with O-Zone,” he answered.

“Oh.” I was afraid that if I asked another question, Vray might think I was being a nosy jealous girlfriend (and not the only slightly nosy and not-at-all-jealous girlfriend I actually was).

“Action hero stuff,” he said, like he was reading my mind.

“Can I help?” I felt like I should put my money where my mouth was, as it were. And also partly because I didn't have anything else to do now that Carmen and Ella were absent from my universe.

“No, it's cool. You should do the climbing thing.”

“I can climb another time. I'd rather hang with you guys, meet Eric and that.” I hoped I didn't sound desperate to be with him all the time.

“It's the guys, Sabine. We've had it on deck for a while. Just give it a rest, okay?”

“Yeah, anyway I gotta go. I have a ton of work to do organizing cleanup crews, routes and schedules for Be Green Day,” I said, so it seemed like I was the one ending the conversation.

“Right on,” he said. “Hope it's a blast and sorry about this. We'll do something fun next weekend, promise.”

“Okay,” I said, hanging up the phone and wondering if he meant it. And hating myself for having doubts.

About him, about us, and about me.

e a r t h g i r l
Go much much further...
[ Nov. 19th | 11:03pm ]
[ mood | righteous ]
[ music I stutter — andy stochansky ]

In light of my sorry social life, I opted to enjoy a socially conscience movie marathon to further immerse myself in the “so called” world of *alternative thinking.*

Thinking that really oughta be more mainstream, if you actually THINK about it.

First off, THE CORPORATION, this stunning and oh-so-smart indictment of consumer culture, brand brainwashing and all things globalization that should be must watch viewing for EVERYONE. My “CONSUMED” sister especially.

Movie two — GO FURTHER, with that Woody guy from those endless unfunny reruns of Cheers. It could have indeed gone way, way further instead of focusing on some goofy junk food junkie sidekick who just wanted to be in a movie. Lame.

Easy for Woody Harrleson to ride around in a hemp powered bus, toking up, doing yoga and have a chef make raw vegan meals, he's a rich movie star. And he doesn't live with my MOM! Oh well, I guess if one person is enlightened or awakened from the slumber of the masses, that's something.

Even if it's NOT enough.

link                                                                                    read 3 | post
www.thecorporation.com
www.voiceyourself.com

altalake 11-23 18:54
The Corpse was SCARY good. I recommend “An Inconvenient Truth” about “Who Killed The
Electric Car” at “The Eleventh Hour” while “Manufacturing Landscapes” after “Darwin's Nightmare.”

The volunteer turnout for BGD was a joke. A bad, sad, unfunny joke. Only after the principal, Mrs. Rubin, made participation mandatory for anyone with spares did things happen. And then only barely and with an enthusiasm best described as muted. And since it was actually a warmish sunny day, I couldn't blame the lack of cooperation on the weather.

Sad and strange. Some schools even have environmental clubs and this kind of thing is completely normal. Guess it's because those kids live in British Columbia, Washington State or Oregon, and when you're surrounded by walls of mountains and trees, you see and think about it more.

Carmen and Ella continuing to ignore me in the halls didn't help. But they topped themselves by sneaking away to Ella's house to watch TMZ and YouTube instead of helping to clean up the community. I know because Carmen made a point of announcing their intentions loudly enough for me to hear when Mrs. Rubin was conveniently out of earshot.

Needless to say, I wasn't the most popular girl in the school.

“This is so lame, Solomon,” Corey Crawford complained.

“Shane McCardle isn't whining,” I snapped back after observing Shane and his homies dragging back stuffed trash bags. What a rockstar.

“Cause he's high,” Darren Mankowsky said with serious snark.

Even if it were true, that was nobody's business. My business, however, was getting my fellow students to separate the in-school garbage for recycling (not exactly taxing) and then share a few minutes during lunch to help clean up litter in the ‘hood. Which was ridiculously difficult even when I handed out work gloves that I'd had generously donated by Thompson's Hardware (after three visits and a lot of begging). Then, in a last-minute burst of inspiration, Mr. T. threw in a white paper jumpsuit for me to wear because it looked like an emergency Hazmat suit and he thought it might get me and my efforts on the news.

Good plan in theory, though it didn't exactly work getting media attention. And it only got me more snide comments.

I'm not sure what I expected given that garbage-in-the-face on YouTube didn't wrestle people from their complacent dazes.

I didn't assume it would be a raging success, but I hardly expected it to be such a fiasco. It's like they'll spend twenty bucks to go to some yoga class to bend down like doggies, but no one could be bothered to bend over and pick wrappers off the ground.

Though something oddly happy did happen when scary anorexic Alexis Shaw came up to me afterwards.

“I really admire what you're doing,” she said, touching me on the arm with her very bony fingers.

“Careful,” I warned, only half joking. “You wouldn't want anyone else to hear you say that.”

“No, seriously. It takes a lot of balls to stand up to all these morons,” she said. “I think you're an inspiration. If it weren't for you and all this stuff I'd have never tapped into the raw food diet. It changed my life.”

“I'm sure you'd have found it without me,” I said, trying to keep my expression as judgment-free as possible. Everyone knew Alexis was totally food obsessed – or not, depending on which perspective you took. And she was still so skinny that you couldn't see her if she turned sideways.

Then again, if she was actually eating food and digesting it that was probably a good start.

“Still, what you're trying to do is pretty cool, even if no one else thinks so,” she smiled, melting away into the crowd down the hall.

Maybe I had to learn to be more generous and recognize when people were actually on my side. Or to be more like a duck and not really care what people thought of me, which I was definitely getting more skilled at.

Like my mom liked to say, “You wouldn't care what people thought about you if you knew how little they did!” Meaning, not often.

e a r t h g i r l
[ Nov. 25th | 10:01am ]
[ mood | dumbfounded ]
[ music | Girls – Eleni Mandell]

Why is it that if something's not quite right, most people say “it could always be worse.” Why don't they say, IT COULD ALWAYS BE BETTER instead?

I mean, obviously it could always be worse. We could have to walk around with gas masks on our faces to protect our lungs. Or the whole family could have to bathe with a cold bucket of water, as I'm sure some families do somewhere. Or have no food at all, let alone grocery shelves endlessly stocked with food packed full of toxic preservatives and chemicals.

Doesn't anybody want the world to be better? Okay anybody in my school and my little universe besides my awesome BF and the few of you fabulous and worthy creatures who read these thoughts?

What does this say about me? That I'm a lousy judge of character or just unlucky or pathetic? sorry to rant. mopey mood.

Saving the world is exhausting me. :(

link                                                                                           read 8 | post
www.evergreen.ca

Vague-a-bond 11-25 22:22
Don't ever give up green bean. Complacency is the death of us. Optimism is the way to go. So what if the dweebs in your school don't get you yet. Optimum word – YET. It's tough being on the vanguard. I should know. :)

lorax 11-26 03:03
Remember how the Bar-ba-loots played in the shade and ate Truffala Fruits? Stay the way, Queen Sabine, and one day the Bar-ba-loots will frisk about all day again.

onederful 11-26 9:11
Its my name, but its also you!

e a r t h g i r l
[ Nov. 26th | 06:45am ]
Thanx onederful (and everyone else)! Guess that makes us two-derful! Or make that all-derful!

I had to hand it to my sister. When it came to the minutiae of my social and personal life, she was nothing if not astute. If we were taking bets, I'd have pegged Mom to have noticed the glaring absence of C and E in my life. But nope. I guess she was too preoccupied by the launch of this swanky new boutique hotel her PR company was handling. She worked way too hard sometimes – a good and bad thing on the parental interference meter.

So instead, it was nosy Clare who finally broke me down. She barged in on me in the kitchen where I was making the
next day's lunch of organic brown rice with marinated tofu and veggies. It was my new routine now that I was avoiding processed cafeteria food and takeout in general.

“Did you have a fight with Carmella?” she asked, using her nickname for the inseparable girl duo.

“Why do you ask?” I responded as calmly as I could despite the sudden appearance of a glob in the back of my throat.

“First, they're never here bugging me any more. Second, you don't even talk about them and third and most obvious, you've been wearing all your own crummy clothes and look like crap,” she said flatly as she munched on some carrots I'd just washed and peeled.

“It's no big deal,” I said. “We just kind of see things differently these days.”

“You mean
you
do. Everything is all green and clean and stuff.”

“I guess.”

“So who do you hang out with at school? You don't eat lunch by yourself, do you?” As if eating alone in the cafeteria was the number one worst thing that could happen to someone. Though it was pretty large on the list of high-school horrors.

“No, I have other friends,” I said. But just barely.

There was Shane McCardle, who now nodded and half waved whenever he saw me, though he hadn't said much since Be Green Day. Not that he'd actually said much of much before.

And lately I'd taken to eating lunch with, or maybe I
should say
for
, Alexis Shaw and her girlie gaggle. After her post BGD confession, she had somehow glommed onto me. I was surprised to discover that she was actually more interesting than her two-dimensional body suggested. She was actually a classically trained flutist and spent her evenings and weekends studying at the Royal Conservatory! Who knew? Certainly not the old cliquey jump-to-conclusion me I used to be.

“You must feel like such a loser,” Clare said. “Lucky you have your boyfriend.”

I just nodded.

“He didn't tell you not to be friends with them, did he?” Clare asked suddenly, like she was gathering information for a cult or maybe the Girls Intelligence Agency.

“Of course not. I would never be with a guy who told me what I should and shouldn't do.”

“Good, because he's pretty hot and I'm sure he's very persuasive.”

“I may be new at the whole boyfriend thing,” I said, “but I'm not stupid.”

“So no Fancy Pants this year, I guess?” she said, reminding me of the annual holiday gift swap that took place between me, Carmen and Ella.

Every year for the last forever, we would exchange mixed CDs and cute underwear. I hadn't thought about it at all till Clare reminded me. Now I realized with exams and Christmas break a mere blink away, Fancy Pants was also approaching at full throttle.

I just shrugged.

“We could do it if you want. I could buy you big all-cotton granny panties. I'm sure your eco-head boyfriend would find them very sexy!”

“Thanks,” I smiled, almost tempted to give her a hug for being so sweet for a change. “But it looks like the days of Fancy Pants are over.”

“Figures, just when you might actually need them to lure your guy to your lair.”

“Where do you come up with this stuff?” I asked, even though I knew it was all those insidious magazines and web-sites she cruised for dish and rules to live by.

“I make it my business to be in the know,” she said proudly.

“Hate to break it to you Clare-bear, but not so much. See, Vray's actually mad for my stellar mind, cutting-edge politics and fabulous sense of humor and that's why we hang out. It's not just all horny guy stuff.”

“Like that'll last.”

And I realized that she was probably right. Not that I necessarily wanted it to. It's just I didn't want our first time together to be some fumbling oopsy of being reckless and carried away. Some accident of sex that caused bad feelings and worse memories. On the other hand, meticulously organized wasn't the plan either.

You could say, when Vray and I finally did the big
it
, I wanted it to be spontaneous, but in a planned kind of way.