Earthbound (22 page)

Then we waited. Waited five long minutes
until it was almost six o’clock.

Through our field glasses, we saw the bank
was empty, save the banker sweeping up, no doubt eager to head to
the saloon himself, and the armed guard of course, closing things
up for the night. Nice and quiet for a low profile robbery this
time.

“Ready?” Pace asked.

“Wait a sec… is that Birkin’s horse?” I
pointed to a dark brown horse tied off by the saloon.

“Sure is. Guess he’s still in the saloon
licking his wounds. Or paying someone to lick them for him.”

I went over to Birkin’s horse. More on that
in a minute.

At six, we saw a hand flip over the Open sign
to Closed. That was our cue. Pace rushed up to the bank and knocked
on the door. Remember earlier Pace had gone into the bank with
around a hundred gold coins? You see, Pace had opened an account.
Deposited his gold coins, nice and legal. Well, legal if your name
is Clark Lewis. It was a safe way to get a close look at security,
and also create a ploy to get back in all peaceful-like.

“I beg your pardon,” Pace said all politely
to the armed guard. “Remember me? I’m Clark Lewis. I was in
earlier, opening up an account. I forgot something really
important!” Pace kept babbling on and on to the armed guard until
he was allowed inside. I could see through the window he was
conversing with the bank teller. Then they headed deeper inside the
bank. So far so good.

I made my way around the back of the bank and
hid behind a tree. Next it was time to get rid of the guard at the
rear entrance. Normally that would’ve been my job. But not this
time.

“Hey, honey. Looking for a good time?”

It was Gwen. She’d gotten all dolled up in
her sexiest, most revealing outfit, and saw fit to be standing
flirtatiously right in front of the bank at exactly six o’clock.
She’d brought along a friend too who was eyeing the bank guard
voraciously from top to bottom.

“Listen honey, we’re having a two-for-one
special down at the saloon. And when I say two-for-one, I mean
two-for-one.” Gwen and her friend draped themselves all over the
guard. They started rubbing him pretty much everywhere. “Come on.
My friend and I will get you off.”

“Right after I get off work,” he said,
laughing to himself at the pun.

“Oh that won’t do! Our two-for-one special
expires in the next ten minutes. It’s now or never, handsome.”

I’m not sure even I could have passed up on
that offer. So that armed guard certainly couldn’t. He checked to
make sure he had enough money and then let the girls lead him down
the street.

“I could get fired for leaving my post,” he
said, probably fishing for sympathy. “I should get back soon.”

“Oh don’t worry,” Gwen replied. “I have a
feeling you’ll be quick.”

Gwen glanced back to over where I was hiding
and gave me a nod. I nodded back. I very much appreciated it, and
she very much appreciated the amount of gold we’d given her. Money
well spent.

I tried the back door – it was open. I
quietly crept inside, making sure I didn’t let a floor board squeak
underneath my weight. As I made my way through the back room, I
could vaguely hear Pace in the next room. “Thanks for opening back
up. I forgot something.” I stepped into Pace’s eyeline so he could
see me. He nodded. “You know what I forgot? I forgot to rob
you!”

I chuckled as Pace shoved his pistol into the
bank teller’s chest, staring into his shocked eyes. I pulled out my
shotgun and burst into the main room, catching the guard unawares.
“Hands up!” I shouted. The guard started to reach for his weapon
but my shotgun made him think otherwise.

“W-what happened to the other guard?” the
teller cried.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “He’s being well taken
care of.”

I grabbed hold of the guard, took his weapon,
led him to the back room and tied him up with some rope. That would
keep him out of the way. So far so good. I got back to the main
room just in time to see Pace showing off.

“Any idea who we are?” Pace asked. The
banker’s eyes darted over at another Wanted poster, this one
adorning the wall by the clock. Pace nodded. Seemed pleased
actually. “So you know what we want. Should we get on with it?”

The banker seemed nervous, sure, but maybe
extra nervous. It didn’t take long for him to start sweating.

“There’s something you need to know,” he
said. “A representative from headquarters came by the other day and
made an adjustment to the safe. When you open it, the alarm goes
off automatically. I want you to know it won’t be because of
me.”

“I appreciate your courtesy, and it will be
duly noted. So open up, we’ll take our chances.”

We were prepared for the alarm in any event,
but it was nice of the guy to tip us off.

Once the safe was cracked open, sure enough
the alarm started to wail. The haul was probably a little bit more
than we’d been accustomed to, which was appreciated. We grabbed
some shoulder bags and shoved as much gold into them as we could.
The banker even grabbed a bag and helped us out. I liked that
guy.

Pace shoved a bunch of gold coins into the
banker’s eager hands.

“Thank you kindly,” the banker said.

“Well thank
you
kindly,” Pace said with a smile. “Pleasure doing business with
you.” He was about to leave and then he hesitated. “You ever hear
of Shādo Shay?”

“I have,” the banker said. “My boss informed
me of him yesterday.”

“Try to get a message to him,” Pace said.
“Tell him he can kiss our respective asses. And that’s a direct
quote.”

“I’ll write it down,” the banker replied.
Pace tipped him with a few more gold coins.

And with that, we ran outside.

“You sure you want to taunt this Shādo Shay
guy?” I said, yelling over the alarm. “Might get him angry.”

“I hope so,” Pace replied. “People don’t make
good choices when they’re angry.”

That alarm was drawing everyone in town
outside to investigate. I wanted us to get outta there before
Gwen’s father the sheriff came looking for us. Again.

Just as I was about to hop up on Charon and
make our escape, Pace just collapsed to the ground.

“What the-”

Then I heard a sound. An effing terrible
sound.

The sound of a shotgun’s hammer pulling back
and locking into place. The barrel of the shotgun pressed against
my temple. Gwen’s father?

“Gotcha,” growled a voice behind me. Didn’t
need to see his face, I knew who it was. Not Gwen’s father. It was
Birkin.

Effing Birkin. Was hoping he was in the
infirmary or at least whoring it up or drunk and passed out
somewhere. Why did he have to be so effing conscientious?

The approaching crowd of onlookers froze in
their tracks and kept their distance. No one wants to get caught in
stray gunfire. In the crowd I saw Gwen’s father.

“You got ‘em?” the sheriff shouted.

“Yup,” Birkin replied. Then to me he said
“turn around slow.” I turned. His face was bloodied and bruised up.
Some of my best work. Made me proud. “Wanted poster says ‘Shoot
First, Ask Questions Later.’ Suits me just fine.”

I still had my shotgun in my hand, but I
wasn’t liking my odds for using it. I glanced down at Pace. Seemed
like he was knocked out cold. “Sure that’s what you want?” I asked
him.

“Damn right.”

I could tell by the look in his eye. That was
exactly what he wanted. I needed to stall him. Wasn’t sure what to
stall him for but it was better than being dead.

Well, I though to myself, I could take a
shotgun blast to the head, see how that goes, or I could think of
something fast. But I wasn’t the thinker. That’s what Pace did
best. But I didn’t have much choice.

“Okay Birkin, looks like you win. Where you
gonna shoot me? The head? That’ll work but makes it harder to
identify the body, and you will need that to get your reward. Maybe
the chest? Still bloody and messy which you’ll like, but people
will still know who I am.”

“You really thinkin’ this through,” he
grumbled. “I suppose the chest’ll work nicely. You first, then your
partner.”

Then it clicked into place, just like the
hammer on a shotgun.

“Uh oh…” I said, all concerned.

“What?”

“You hear that? That clanking metal
sound?”

“I don’t hear no sound.”

“It’s faint… definitely coming this way
though… it’s those effing robots. Same as we had in Great Falls.
They’re headed this way.”

That was all I needed. Birkin turned his head
ever so slightly to glance behind him and that was all I needed. I
grabbed hold of his shotgun and managed to pry it right outta his
hand without him blasting me. Then I knocked him in the face with
the butt of my shotgun in my other hand. He fell to his knees.

I turned back to the crowd. The Sherriff was
starting to head toward us with his own shotgun.

“Stay back!” I yelled. “Those robots are
coming! Scatter!”

Man, the look of fear in the Sherriff’s eyes.
He turned and hightailed it outta there, with the rest of the crowd
following.

I turned and gave Birkin another good blow to
the head to keep him down. Then I got to Pace and helped him to his
feet.

“Get up Pace!” I shouted. “We gotta get outta
here!”

Pace was groggy and wobbly. Not one to take a
punch, you know.

“What… what the…”

“It was Birkin! Come on, we gotta go!” I
kinda hoisted Pace up on Flashbound, and that kinda got him
oriented again. “Can you ride?”

“I can ride.”

I mounted Charon. Didn’t even need to tug on
the reigns. He knew what to do. He and Flashbound started to run
away.

I turned and saw Birkin slowly move to his
feet. Almost felt sorry for him. But not really. He started
shouting at us though. Couldn’t hear him over the hoofbeats so I
decided to slow Charon so I could hear. Flashbound sidled up
alongside us as well.

“I know how to get to you!” Birkin screamed,
jumping all over the place. “Ain’t hard to get to you! You know who
I’m talkin’ ‘bout, don’t you? Don’t you!”

Birkin turned and ran for his horse.

“We should go,” Pace suggested.

Birkin untied his horse and leapt up into his
saddle.

“Wait for it…” I said calmly.

Birkin’s saddle came undone and swung over to
the left, hurling Birkin down, smacking his head against the
ground. I’d taken a few moments earlier to loosen his saddle. Every
now and then I come up with a good one.

“Now we go,” I said.

As we rode out of town, I turned around to
see if anyone was following us, and no one was.

But what about those robots I was yammering
on about? Scared everyone out of their wits? Yeah about that. I
wasn’t being exactly truthful. They weren’t coming. We knew where
they were. And as we reached the outskirts of the settlement, we
saw them. Just the way we’d planned.

Remember when I said we’d spotted something
we were looking for when we arrived in Conrad, and needed to find
something heavy? Well, we had located the trap door where the
robots were supposed to spring out of. Same as the one in Augusta,
and we’d found them in other settlements too. Finally figured out a
way of dealing with ‘em. We found a fallen tree and placed it over
the trap door. So as we rode over to it, we saw those robots trying
to get out, but they couldn’t get the danged trap door open. They
kept bumping their heads against it, and then the tree’s weight
would bear down on them. We could hear the robots crashing against
one another in their underground bunker. It was almost comical.
They wouldn’t be troubling anyone for a long time. Probably
ever.

“Wait a sec,” Pace said. He handed me his
reins and quickly dismounted. He approached the trap door just as
one of the robot’s turret arms was trying to make its way above
ground. As the weighted trap door crashed down on it, Pace grabbed
hold of the robot arm and snapped it off. He stared at it for a
second, amused. And then he leapt up on his horse.

“Souvenir?” I asked.

“If we’re going to have to keep dealing with
these robots,” he explained, “it would be nice to know more about
them.”

And then we rode off.

Rode the six hours back toward our hideout
without sleep. Funny what adrenaline will do to you. And nobody
chased after us. No posse, no nothing. Robots do have one benefit –
they tend to kinda scare off a posse. Birkin didn’t chase after us
neither. I suppose he suffered a pretty nasty bump to the head
along with all the beating I gave him. What a cryin’ shame.

Pace and I had something to talk about of
course. I don’t know about Pace but I didn’t really wanna talk
about it though. Wasn’t sure what to say. But I couldn’t help think
about what Birkin shouted. Thought about it every second of the six
hour ride back.