Earth Bound (17 page)

“I know that. I knew it at the time. I wasn't afraid of you. I'm still not.”

He was still loosely holding her one wrist, but she lifted her other hand and reached out to brush strands of hair from his face. His breath caught in his lungs. He knew it was a mini miracle that she touched him at all, let alone with such an intimate gesture. She didn't even seem to notice she did it.

“You're safe with me.” She was. No matter what, he would protect her, even from himself. Still, that didn't mean he wouldn't get her used to his close proximity, to his hands on her. He wanted to be the one exception in her life. She was uncomfortable with everyone else, and that was perfectly fine with him. He wanted her relaxed in his company, laughing, feeling that as long as she was with him, she could be in her house and feel safe.

“Lexi, put your hands on me, one on my shoulder, right above the wound and one below it.” Deliberately he allowed his eyes to close, striving to portray the picture of a man who had nothing on his mind but the pain in his shoulder. “I'd like to try a little experiment.”

Lexi didn't argue or hesitate. She came up on her knees and leaned over him, rubbing her hands together. She had a natural healing talent. He felt the power running through her body. He had many gifts, and one was the ability to boost the strength of elementals or psychic gifts.

She placed her hands on the positions he'd requested and closed her eyes, feeling his body, feeling the raw nerve endings and inflammation building around the wound. He reached up with his free hand and caught at the scrunchie securing her hair from around her face and tugged until all her glorious hair fell free.

He threaded his fingers through it, reveling in the feel of such thick silk. She had a lot of hair. “I like your hair down.”

“It isn't practical when I'm working.”

“You're not working when you're in the house,” he pointed out. “You could carry your tie in your pocket and pull it back up when you're outside.” He had to open his eyes and look at her face.

Her hair tumbled down around her face and shoulders, even longer than he'd imagined. The ends pooled on his skin, a dark, rich auburn, more red than brown, almost like a glass of dark wine. His body stirred in spite of every effort to stay relaxed.

“I like your hair long like this.” His tone went low, caressing. He deliberately allowed his voice to brush over her skin the way her hair did over his.

“That's good, because I'm not ever going to cut it. I trim the ends, but that's all, just to keep it healthy.”

There was a touch of defiance in her voice, a touch of fire and that fire blazed through her hands to the muscles of his body. The heat spread through his body, a slow burn that seemed to move from muscle to muscle, seeping into
his blood where it grew scorching hot, but maintained a slow flow until it saturated every cell in his body. His cock grew full and hard, a savage ache that only added to the beauty of the moment.

He felt—loved. She couldn't possibly love him, she hadn't had time to fall in love with him, but still, no one had ever cared for him like this. No one had ever aroused his body as she did. The pads of her fingers moved on his skin, finding hidden trigger points, and he let her work on him, lying still and accepting the fact that he was drowning and it was far too late to save himself.

He wanted to close his eyes again and just absorb every touch, but the expression on her face was far too beautiful to miss. Her lashes were long, her lips slightly parted as she concentrated, wholly focused on his body, on taking the pain from his arm. She shifted her position, her hand sliding around his muscle, careful to keep away from the stitches, but her palm was a hot brand against his skin.

Her breasts skimmed his side, sending another flash of heat arcing over him. He forced his own hands into the mattress. He had absolute confidence in his ability to seduce her. He'd been trained and he knew every way there was to please a woman, but he didn't want that for her—or for him. He wanted her to come to him. To be ready in her mind, not just her body.

She suddenly opened her eyes and looked directly into his. Her wild green gaze hit him like a wicked punch. “Is that better? Do you think you can sleep?”

He nodded slowly, holding her gaze captive with his. “Get ready for bed and just lie with me until I drift off. Something happens when you're touching me and the nerve pain seems to recede. I don't know if it really does or I just think that it does, but either way, you've given me more relief than I've had since I was attacked.”

She took a breath. He held his. Both waited. Finally she nodded and slipped off the bed. Gavriil didn't say another word. He felt as if he was holding his breath the entire time she got ready. She braided her hair and changed to thin
sweatpants and a racerback tee. When she slipped on top of the comforter and pulled up a blanket, turning away from him, he turned toward her and wrapped his injured arm around her waist.

She went rigid. He didn't let go. He curled his body around hers and nuzzled against the nape of her neck with his face. “I promise you, Lexi, I won't make a move on you. I just need to hold you. I can give you a knife if that would make you feel safer.”

“There's already a gun and a knife under my pillow.” There was a hint of laughter in her voice and some of the tension eased out of her.

“Oh. That's right. I forgot that. See? You can shoot me if I'm not a man of my word.”

“Don't think I won't,” she cautioned.

He felt laughter rising and the fact that she could make him feel that emotion awed him. He had spent time trying to get her to relax and accept his presence, and all the while she was taming him like some wild animal.

“I know you would.”

“It's starting to rain.” She sounded excited. “Listen to the rain. Rikki's playing music over the farm.”

He listened to the pattern of the rain. It fell softly in some places and much harder in others. Power pulsed through the air.

“That's Judith, boosting Rikki,” Lexi said, awe in her voice. “Aren't they wonderful? Rikki can coax water out of practically nothing. When we're desperate, Airiana can move the clouds to us. If the rain is too heavy, Rikki can redirect to the redwoods and forest and keep it from killing our crops.”

“And you read the earth, the soil. You can tell what it needs and when.”

She snuggled deeper into the pillow. “Yes. We make a great team.”

“I'll fit right in.”

Lexi fell asleep somewhere around midnight. Gavriil had known she was exhausted and would eventually succumb
to the warmth of his body, the sound of the rain and the comfort of the bed. He allowed himself to sleep in intervals, monitoring the area around their house—and already he thought of it as theirs. Occasionally wildlife came close but no humans, and he was grateful for the reprieve.

He woke at three to the sound of weeping. Drago and Kiss both pressed close, pushing against Lexi's side of the bed, anxious to comfort her. His heart jerked hard in his chest. His arm was still wrapped firmly around her, but his hand was under her shirt. How it got there, he had no idea, but she hadn't pulled away from him.

“
Angel moy
, what is it?”

She continued to weep. It took him a minute to realize she was sound asleep. Why the fact that she was crying in her sleep made it so much worse, he didn't know. He pressed his hand into her abdomen, his fingers splayed wide to take in as much of her skin as possible, as if he could somehow be part of her and take away the demons.

“Lexi,
solnyshko moya
, it's all right now. He's gone for good. He can't hurt you or anyone you love ever again. Your sisters are safe. Do you hear me? Wake up enough to know you're safe.” He whispered the words, a sorcerer, determined to push her nightmares away.

When that didn't work, he sighed and turned her into his arms, raising her palm to his mouth. He pressed kisses into the exact center, breathed warm air there, and pushed their intimate connection even further.

I'm here with you, Lexi, and you're safe. I killed that man for you. I made sure he suffered before he died and told me who knew where you are. I'll find them and I'll kill them. Every one of them, until I know you're safe.
He used telepathic communication, enabled by the connection between their palms as well as their gifts.

He told me details about what he'd done to you and I lost control. I've never lost control in my life. I'm not ashamed of it, but it did throw me for a long while, which is part of the reason I had my hand around your throat.
You can hate me if you want to, or despise what I am, but he's gone. Wiped out. He can't come back.

Her weeping lessened. He felt her stillness and knew he had her attention.
Now you know the worst of me. The very worst. You know what they made me, a monster capable of terrible things. I've done things beyond any hope of redemption and I couldn't feel a thing while I did them. I looked at him and could only see you—what he'd done to you.

There was the faintest of stirrings in his mind. A brush of her mind against his. Her weeping stopped completely. She didn't move away from him as she should have. She didn't push at the hand spread out over her skin. She stayed very still, but he knew she was listening now.

I don't know what chance I have to be a civilized man, but if there's any way at all to be worth something to you, I want to be it.

You already are.

Three words. That was all it took, and she had his heart in the palm of her hand.

G
AVRIIL
had breakfast ready when Lexi stumbled into the kitchen just after five thirty. He felt tense and edgy, a wreck, another first for him and one he didn't care for at all. He'd given her every reason to throw him out. The reasons just piled up, one after another until he couldn't understand why she had allowed him there in the first place.

He heard her coming in her bare feet, and when he looked up, she was framed in the doorway. She'd taken a shower already and her hair was damp, tumbling around her face, falling in waves, a dark, rich color that reminded him of the earth itself. Dressed in her vintage blue jeans with several holes in them and her inevitable plaid flannel shirt, no makeup and glowing skin, she looked younger than ever—until you looked at her eyes.

“Good morning, Gavriil.” She sent him a small smile and turned her attention to the dogs lying close to each other in the corner. “Good morning, Drago. Kiss, I hope you're feeling good this morning.”

That was worse than if she'd walked in and slapped him hard across the face and told him to leave. He couldn't read
her. He read everyone. That gift kept him alive, but there she stood, looking so beautiful it hurt, and he had no idea what she was going to do or say.

“They've had their run this morning,” he said. “You don't own a coffeepot nor could I find coffee, so I made tea.”

Her face brightened. “Tea is perfect. I always have a cup of tea before I go out to work. With milk,” she added as he poured her a cup.

He held his breath as she walked into the room, straight toward him. He braced himself. Lexi took the mug, wrapping both hands around it. She stood right in front of him, looking up at his face, her eyes searching his for a long time. He knew what she must have felt like when he put his hand on her throat. She weighed his fate. Force him to leave because he was a monster beyond all hope, or . . . what? What was he thinking?

She couldn't possibly understand his life or what had been drilled into him and then required of him. The worlds he'd traveled in were far beyond her imagination. Her eyes, a deep forest green, moved over his face, looked into his, and he knew she saw him, not the person she'd believed him to be, a broken man so much like her, but the killer they'd shaped and trained and sent out into the world to do their bidding.

He had completed every job and he'd grown numb, a survival tactic he knew, his mind trying to save him from the insanity of his life. How far did one go to protect family? As far as he knew, he'd never killed an innocent man. He'd done his research on every job, and he'd spent his life in the underbelly with the men who didn't dare show their faces in the light of day.

Lexi reached up and cupped the side of his jaw, her thumb sliding along his face in the lightest of caresses. “All this time, Gavriil, I thought I was so broken you would eventually look at me and decide there was no hope. But you . . .” She shook her head and dropped her hand. “I think you need me.”

She turned away from him and dropped into one of
the kitchen chairs, curling up in it, sipping at her tea. “I've got tons of work to do this morning. I'll come back around noon and try another session with acupuncture. Please don't do anything to aggravate that wound either. How does it feel?”

“Like someone shoved a knife through my arm.” He put eggs and hash browns onto two plates and added fresh strawberries before carrying the plates to the table. “It doesn't hurt unless I breathe or move.” He tried a tentative smile just to see if his face could actually change expression without shattering.

“That's good.” Her answering smile was faint. “You really can cook. That's nice. I can, and I'm good, but I don't always feel like it. Maybe we can share the job.”

“You might want to taste the food instead of pushing it around your plate first,” Gavriil suggested.

Relief was overwhelming. He refused to allow it to register on his face, but emotion consumed him, made him feel shaky both inside and out. He sat across from her, expressionless, looking the picture of a confident, tough man, and yet he barely recognized himself. He had never felt so exposed and vulnerable in his life.

“We need to get some coffee. And a coffeepot.”

“I never thought about it. I never drink coffee and no one ever comes here except for my sisters and they're happy with tea, even Rikki, who loves black coffee. She'll even drink tea with me. I did ask Judith to pick up chocolate the other day because Lucia came by one day and I didn't have anything to offer her.”

“You don't have much in your cupboards.”

She shrugged. “Mostly I eat what I grow and I pick it fresh. Everyone does that. We do have a communal storage room. There might be coffee and a pot in there. If not, I can go to the store late afternoon.” She glanced at her watch. “I might finish up by then. I've tons to do because I didn't work yesterday. It rained though, so I don't have to worry about watering.”

“Aren't your crops on an automatic watering system?”

“Most are now. And I have a system for the younger fruit trees as well. Some things just don't grow well here on the coast.” She frowned and chewed her eggs thoughtfully. “When we bought the farm there were no watering systems. We've had to slowly install them as we've gotten the money for it, but it's a lot of money and we've never had that much extra. The farm is beginning to thrive and pay for itself, but prior to that, we siphoned money from the other businesses.”

“They all benefit from the farm and produce,” Gavriil pointed out. “You work the farm. They have separate money. Do you get paid?”

“Actually, we don't really separate the money. We all contribute. Lissa does the accounting for us all and we're all on budgets. We meet every other month to discuss how we're doing financially and how we can improve. All of us are allotted so much money per month.”

“And when my brothers showed up, they didn't help out financially?” He couldn't keep the low, ominous note from his voice.

Her gaze flicked to his. “Of course they did. They've put a lot of money toward security and they're purchasing the land that borders ours—another five hundred acres. It's mostly forest, but I've coveted that land for some time, so I'm superexcited about it.”

She pushed her plate away and stood up. For the first time he realized she was nervous and that realization settled him immediately. As she started to turn, he reached out and caught her wrist. She halted the moment his fingers settled around her wrist, but she stared straight ahead.

“Lexi. Turn around.” His voice had gone low. Tender. He
felt
tenderness toward her. How could he not?

She turned very slowly to face him. Tears sparkled in her eyes, turning them from a forest green to a deep emerald. He tugged gently until she reluctantly took the two steps to bring her to his side.

“I'm sorry for what I am. I wish, for your sake, I was a better man.”

She blinked to remove the tears, but one slid down her face in spite of her efforts. “Do you really think I didn't ever wish him dead? I plotted to kill him a million different ways. I wanted him dead. I prayed he would die.”

“But you didn't kill him, Lexi,” he pointed out gently. “Wishing him dead was natural under the circumstances. That doesn't make you like me.”

“I didn't kill him because I was too much of a coward, not because I had a great moral conviction that it was wrong,” she confessed. “I killed him a thousand times in my dreams. I made him suffer the way he made all of us suffer. I wasn't the only girl they brought there. Three girls ended up committing suicide. One died in childbirth. Do you have any idea what it's like to be chained up and put in a box the size of a small casket you can't move an inch in with the lid closed and locked? I hated him. I wanted him dead and I hated myself for not being strong enough to kill him.”

“You aren't responsible for the deaths of those girls,” he said, with sudden insight.

“If not me, then who? I was in his house. I fixed his food. I had access to knives. When he was asleep, I could have plunged one through his heart. I was too scared and because of that those girls died.”

“Lexi, you can't believe that. You were a child and he stripped you of everything. You were lucky to survive.”

“And they weren't so lucky. Do I think you were wrong for what you did to him, Gavriil? I wish I did. I wish I could sit in judgment and tell you once again, like I did the other day, that killing is wrong. I don't honestly know if it is.”

She sighed. “When you came in and I thought I'd killed him using my gift, I was horrified and I don't even know why. I should have been shouting for joy, but instead all I could think about was how selfish I was, that I killed him to protect myself and not those other girls.”

“You were a child, Lexi, a little girl who should have been playing with her friends, not living with a monster.”

She didn't realize tears were spilling down her cheeks. He wiped them away with the pad of his thumb, wanting to kill Caine all over again for the trauma the man had done to her and so many others.

“It doesn't matter now,
solnyshko moya
, we're here and we're starting over. He's gone and he's never going to harm another girl.”

“If I had killed him, Gavriil, if I had just found the courage, my parents, brothers and little sister would all be alive today. I was so afraid he'd catch me and put me in the terrible box. I tried so many times, but I couldn't make myself.”

He pulled her into his arms, standing her between his thighs, and framing her face with his hands. His eyes searched hers for fear, for anything that told him to back off. When there was nothing but sorrow and pain, he bent his head to hers.

Gavriil kissed her eyes, soft little brushing caresses. He followed the tracks of her tears down first one cheek and then the other, tasting her tears. His lips found the corners of her mouth, brushing gently. He settled his mouth over hers. The briefest of kisses—to comfort not claim—to reassure not arouse.

He took great care to be gentler than he'd ever been in his life. When he lifted his head, she melted into him, circling his neck with her arms and resting her head on his shoulder, the uninjured side. Even in her time of distress, she was careful of him.

“I know I shouldn't say this to you, Gavriil. I know it's wrong of me, but thank you. I'm sorry you were the one who had to do it because I know you have to bear that burden for the rest of your life.”

Gavriil started to protest but then realized she needed to tell him everything just as he had needed to confess to her.

“He would have killed me, and I still, after all of the
training both Lissa and Levi gave me, couldn't find the courage to kill him. He paralyzed me. I just froze. I felt like a terrified child. I'm so sorry.” She lifted her head and looked him in the eyes. “I would be a total hypocrite if I told you how wrong you were in what you did. You were able to do what I should have so many years ago.”

To his shock, Kiss rushed over to push her face against Lexi in an attempt to comfort her. The females of the breed were often less accepting of new relationships than the males, who just generally remained aloof. Lexi dropped her hand in the silky coat for a brief moment.

“I'm all right, Kiss,” she murmured. “I just can't stop crying.”

Gavriil signaled the dog back to the corner as Lexi laid her head on his shoulder again. He tightened his arms around her, holding her body close to his, aching for her. He'd done a lot of terrible things in his life and he suffered pain beyond what most could have taken, but being helpless when the one person in the world who meant the most suffered, that was true pain.

“I'm going to stay, Lexi. We're going to build a life for ourselves. We're going to find a way to be a family and be happy together. You know the worst of me and you seem to be able to accept me the way I am. I'll do my best to make you happy. I can give you my word on that. I know I can keep you safe.”

She pulled back again to look into his eyes. “Will you really be happy cooped up on a farm after all your travels? With a woman so broken she doesn't know if she can have a normal relationship with a man?”

“I lived alone for two years in the hills and forests of Russia. I've spent my entire existence alone. The farm is the perfect place for a man like me who needs solitude as well as peace. I like the work, and you're the kind of woman who wouldn't mind if I needed space.” He couldn't imagine needing space from her, but if so, she wouldn't be upset with him. She was too accepting.

Lexi moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue.
“What are we doing here? Are we really discussing trying to have an actual relationship? Like a man and woman? Not just roommates?”

“Like a
real
man and a
real
woman?” A slow smile came out of nowhere. This was what happiness felt like. This was sharing a moment with another human being that counted. She'd given him so many firsts now he could hardly believe it. “Yes. I think that's what we're talking about, Lexi, but I don't want you to panic.”