Authors: Christine Feehan
“Lexi's coming back and someone's with her,” he announced.
Benito looked so panic-stricken he thought the kid might try to dive out through the window. “It's not Max.”
The relief told him Max's opinion mattered.
Benito pushed his hand through his hair. It was shaking. “I really am sorry. If they'd told us what happened and that she had a bodyguard, I wouldn't have come like that.” He broke off abruptly and then suddenly looked up, his eyes meeting Gavriil's. “I might have come anyway, but I wouldn't have been so sneaky.”
“Never stick your head in a window like that. If the top of your head goes into the room, you're not looking to see what's inside.”
Benito nodded. He rubbed his scalp as if it was still a little tender from Gavriil using his hair to pull him inside. “Will you tell me what happened? Airiana and Max say we live here now, this is our home. But they don't tell us anything.”
“You're children. They're adults and have to make hard decisions.”
Benito shrugged. “I don't feel like a kid, and neither does Lucia. How do we go back to playing like other kids after what happened to us? If this is our home and our family, we need to know what's going on.”
“I think grown-ups want to make you feel safe after what happened, Benito. Telling you about problems outside of your control won't accomplish that.”
“I'd rather know what I'm facing.”
Gavriil sighed. “I can't break a confidence. Each of the women here have had someone they loved murdered. Lexi's story is hers, and it's up to her to tell you. You wouldn't want Max or Airiana telling me what happened to you aboard that ship, would you?”
Benito turned red. His eyes burned with anger and his fists clenched.
“Only you can decide who you trust enough to tell things to. Lexi's past came back to haunt her this morning. She's on edge and extremely upset.”
“Is she in danger?”
“I believe she is, but I intend to stick around and keep her safe. Along with me, Max and the others to watch over her, whoever might wish to harm her doesn't stand much of a chance,” Gavriil said.
Lexi came into the house and moved straight for the kitchen, presumably to make the tea. Airiana knocked on the bedroom doorjamb and stood there regarding her errant son, with a mixture of relief and exasperation on her face.
Benito launched himself out of the chair where he'd been holding himself together after the fright. His arms slid around her waist and he buried his face against her shoulder, holding her tight. Airiana stroked his hair in little caresses, her gaze meeting Gavriil's as he stood up slowly.
“It's all right. I trust Gavriil has opened your eyes to the danger of spying on people.” Airiana handed Gavriil his war bag with her free hand.
“Benito had the best of intentions,” Gavriil said. “He may have gone about it the wrong way, but he came here thinking he might have to protect Lexi. Apparently his sister, Lucia, is very worried. They know something happened, asked you or Max, weren't satisfied with the answer and decided to try to find out on their own.”
Gavriil shrugged into a fresh shirt.
Airiana pulled Benito's head back and inspected the raw slice around the boy's neck. Her eyes met Gavriil's. “You did this?”
Gavriil nodded. “He was very lucky I didn't kill him when he stuck his head through that window.”
Airiana closed her eyes for a moment and then took a deep breath. “You know we're going to have to talk to Max about this, right, Benito? We don't keep things from one another.”
Benito's face darkened. “Yes we do. You refused to tell us what happened to Lexi this morning.”
“Because it wasn't Airiana's place to tell you,” Gavriil reiterated, his voice a low whip. He didn't like repeating himself, and he didn't want the kid to shove off his own responsibility. “If you want to know something, don't expect others to gossip. Be a man. Ask the primary source. If she doesn't want to tell you, respect her wishes, but don't blame Airiana or Max for keeping a confidence.”
“You know Max is going to want to have a discussion with you about this,” Airiana warned.
Gavriil sighed. “You tell him I'm not so good at discussions. I've said my piece on the subject. If he has any questions, Benito can fill him in. I trust that the kid doesn't lie to you. He can tell Max what happened and Max can take it from there.”
It wasn't difficult to understand that he was done with the entire matter. The warning note in his voice was very clear and unmistakable. Airiana glanced over her shoulder to look at Lexi, who stood in the hallway. Their eyes met for a very long time, Airiana trying to silently convey her fear for her youngest sister.
Lexi broke the silence, ignoring Airiana's warning look. “Tea's ready, if anyone wants it. And Gavriil, lunch is ready. We can eat out on the porch.”
“I
thought they'd be staying for lunch,” Gavriil said, leaning back in the comfortable chair on the porch, his long legs sprawled out in front of him. With great satisfaction he watched Airiana and Benito disappearing down the path that cut through the property up to the road where her car was parked.
Lexi rolled her eyes. “Really? We're going to have to work on your people skills.”
“I have great people skills.” He took a cautious sip of the tea, making an issue out of it as if he thought she might be trying to poison him. “I excel at people skills. I am succinct when speaking and get my point across immediately.”
“If I didn't know better, I would have thought you ran the two of them off on purpose,” Lexi said.
He smiled at her. A deliberate wolf's smirk. “I can't imagine why you would think such a thing.”
She triedâand failedâto look stern. “Perhaps because you look so pleased with yourself.”
“I'm just pointing out I have mad people skills.” He picked up a sandwich and took a bite, chewing
thoughtfully, waiting for her to settle into the chair opposite him. The tray of food was on the small table between them, the pile of sandwiches facing him.
Lexi sipped at her tea, regarding Gavriil over the top of the teacup. He appeared invincible and tough to othersâshe read it in the way they looked and acted with him.
She
could see pain etched into every line of his face, in the smoky heat of his blue eyes.
“You're too trusting, Lexi,” Gavriil said suddenly.
She didn't take her gaze from his face. She loved to look at him, but wasn't certain why. She should have been intimidated like everyone else, especially because he had had his hand around her throat at one point and definitely had been considering ending her life. She wasn't certain how she knew that had been in his mind, or why she was just as certain that he wouldn't do it.
“Because I'm sitting here with you?” She especially loved his voice. She'd never heard that particular combination before, of smoke and edginess. There was a sensual intimate quality to his tone that mesmerized and intrigued her.
“That and you would have rushed to save that boy without ever checking for weapons on him. Three times you had your back to him.”
“He's twelve and traumatized.”
“He had a gun and a knife on him.” Gavriil took another bite of his sandwich. “You never ran across fanatical children? Not ever?”
She knew she went pale. She felt the blood draining from her face. Her stomach lurched. Memories crowded too close. Once, she'd confided in a girl she thought was her friend. They'd worked together for over a year, and Lexi told her she detested Caine. The girl had rushed right to him, eager to please him with the bit of news that his “wife” hated him and wished he'd die.
“Yes.” Her mouth went dry and she tasted blood, a faint coppery taste that sometimes haunted her dreams. In the early days, after she'd managed to escape, that horrible reminder was often in her mouth.
Gavriil's eyes went dark. He leaned toward her, holding her gaze so that it was impossible to escape. She had the feeling he could see right into herâinto all the ugliness that she tried desperately to hide away.
“Tell me.”
She shook her head. She didn't tell anyone. Not details. She'd always gotten away with it because she could tell herself she was in witness protection and no one could know, but his eyes didn't blink. His silence was as compelling as his command.
“Most of the children in the compound were as fanatical as their parents.” She moistened her lips. Her throat felt as if it was closing, swelling on her so that she had to clear it several times. “If you were stupid enough to confide in them, they told everything you said to the leaders. The punishments were terrible.”
His expression didn't change, but somehow, with her last four words, she felt a difference in him. He'd been relaxed, sprawling out in front of her, eating his sandwich and asking questions. Now, darkness swirled in him. In his eyes, maybe, but certainly in his heart, and in his soul.
“What kinds of punishments?”
“I don't want to talk about this, Gavriil. I don't ask you personal questions. I don't for a reason. I can't talk about this.”
“Who better than with me.”
“I don't even know you.”
“You know me.” He sank back against the thick cushion, his dark blue eyes never leaving her face.
His gaze was unrelenting, merciless even, yet his eyes were so dark blue she felt as if she might be falling into the night sky. How could he look both lethal and attractive at the same time?
“I thought she was my friend. Carla Shore. She was my age and we'd worked and played together for over a year. Caine liked to be rough and sometimes it hurt just to move
the next day. I told her I hated him. She immediately told him. Of course, it's a sin to hate one's husband.”
She shrugged, and a small smile briefly touched her mouth. “I hated him even more after his beating. You know those whips marks you have on your back? I've got them too. He shaved my head, stripped me in front of the congregation and flogged me.”
Lexi did her best to sound matter-of-fact, but Gavriil could see the pain in her eyes and hear it in her voice. She had shoved her past behind a door and locked it, but she wasn't healed. Neither was he, and he was a lot older than she was.
“I would have to say it would be a sin
not
to hate that man in those circumstances. The man was no husband cherishing his wife, he was a child molester drunk on his own power.” He folded his arms just to be safe. He wanted to kill somethingâor someone.
She was so damned young. Inside of her was a brightness that even Caine with all his evil hadn't managed to obliterate. Why hadn't the man wanted to protect her? Caine had wanted to destroy her. That was why he couldn't give her up, why he obsessed over her. He had to have seen that light in her and it must have sickened him every time he looked in the mirror. He
needed
to destroy her and he hadn't been able to. No matter what he'd done to her, she hadn't become as ugly as Caine was.
“I wish my many beatings had been for as good a reason as that,” he confided, because he had to give her something, offer something of himself back to her. “I fought them quite a bit. I tried to leave the school, to go find my brothers. Viktor and I promised my father that we'd watch over the others. The worst beating came when I failed to control an arousal. The girl was punished if she couldn't arouse me, and I was punished if she could. Control and discipline.” He shrugged.
“That's terrible. Why would they do that?”
“So we were always in charge of the performance. Sex
is used for a lot of reasons.” He kept his voice as matter-of-fact as hers had been. “It's a very effective weapon, Lexi.”
She sent him another wan smile. “Maybe we are more alike than you thought.”
He couldn't imagine two people more unalike. He had embraced the underbelly of life, the seedy, dark violence of a different realm. She had embraced a family and found a way to love them without reservation.
“The doctor, the one who taught you acupuncture, what happened to her?”
She went very still. Her face froze. The teacup slipped from her fingers. His hand snaked out to catch it in his palm before it could crash onto the tabletop between them. Hot tea splashed, but he barely felt the burn. He never once took his gaze from hers.
The pain in her was every bit as acute as his physical painâmaybe more. He lived with pain every single moment of his life now, yet he was just beginning to discover once again that emotional pain was far worse.
“Just before I turned sixteen, her husband decided he wanted to marry someone much younger. She said no. She was told she had to leave. No one left, Gavriil. No one could ever leave. We all knew that. There were too many secrets. She packed just as if she would go, her head up, shoulders straight. When she kissed me good-bye, she told me to be brave, and Caine drove her away. A few weeks later when he was angry with me, he told me she screamed and screamed when he raped her. He used that word. He told me she wasn't brave at all.”
“He preferred children. Why would he touch her?”
“He preferred power. Sex was power to him. He controlled everyone around him using any means, brute force, sex, his punishments, promises of life in the hereafter. All that mattered was control.”
She had good insight to the man. Caine had wanted control over all of them. He'd hurt Lexi over and over to cower her, to drain her spirit. When she broke away from him and
he'd lost control, he'd sought it out again by murdering her family.
Gavriil had to give her something. He set the teacup carefully on the small table. “I know all about that kind of control. First they beat you and strip you of all dignity. They keep you alone and scared and in pain. Then there's the threat. The only way you can be controlled if you're like us, refusing to give them every part of us. They threatened my brothersâto torture and kill them one by one in front of me, starting with the baby.”
She swallowed hard, her lashes fluttered again and again, but her color wasn't quite as pale. “Is that why, even though you don't want anyone else around, you are able to tolerate me?” Lexi asked.
Gavriil chose another sandwich. He was far hungrier than he thought. “Have you asked yourself why it's okay for me to stay with you when you don't want anyone else around?” he countered.
She leaned into him. “I'm the only person you've ever truly been afraid of, Gavriil. Why would you stay here with me?”
The woman knew how to throw a punch. He was proud of her though. She
had
recognized the danger she was in. He felt a little mesmerized by her, hypnotized by those eyes that either blazed like the brightest emerald, or, like now, went cool forest green.
“Sometimes,
solnyshko moya
, the answer is impossible to explain. The truth is, I don't know. I like your company. You soothe me. You intrigue me. I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm not attracted to you as a man is to a woman. I am. That's a first for meâreal physical attraction. Everything about you turns my world upside down.”
She blinked rapidly, and sank back in her chair. “You're a strange man, Gavriil. I would think you would want to stay far away from me.”
“That's the real question, isn't it? Why don't I? I should have turned and walked away the moment I saw you
coming out of that cornfield, but I knew then that I was already lost.”
Lexi rubbed her palm as if it might be itching. His was. Discipline kept him from touching it.
“What did you do to me? To my palm when you zapped me?”
He remained silent. His sins were catching up with him fast, and he didn't want her to run from him. He was a hunter and giving chase was instinctive.
“It's some sort of Prakenskii thing, isn't it? I've seen Rikki, Judith and Airiana all rub their palms as if they itched. It can't be a coincidence. I know we're not supposed to know the name Prakenskii, but you all have the same eyes. What did you do to me?”
The idea that he had claimed her without her consent didn't sit well with him. Not after knowing about her life and what Caine had done to her. She had to make that choice, not him. Still, his claim couldn't be taken back, nor would he do so if he could. He was that selfish. He didn't know what he was going to do with her, he hadn't really gotten that far, but no one was going to harm her.
“Gavriil, you use silence the way others use words.”
She pressed her thumb into the center of her palm. He felt the push on his own skin. He turned his palm over and, keeping the image of her face in his mind, stroked a caress down the center, watching her closely. She gasped and pressed her hand to her face, her eyes going wide.
“What did you just do?”
“It's a connection between us. If you needed me, you could easily call me to you through that connection.” That was one way to look at it, and very true. He would know the moment she was in trouble if she touched the center of her palm.
Lexi pressed her lips together, closing her fingers around her palm as if holding it to her. He couldn't read the gesture or her reaction. That was rare as well. He finished the sandwich and washed it down with tea.
“There's more to it than that, and you don't want to tell me.”
He was grateful for the years of discipline. He kept his face pure stone. “No, I don't want to tell you. I shouldn't have put that mark on you. I don't have any idea why I couldn't overcome the compulsion to do it. It was wrong of me, but there's no taking it back, and I can't say that I even want to.”
Lexi continued to look him in the eye. He'd never had trouble looking anyone in the eye. Never. But her gaze saw far more than others' did, and sitting in the spotlight, knowing she was looking inside of him and seeing things he might not even know about himself, was difficult. He did it because she deserved that window into him. He had tied them together without her consent and she needed to know what kind of man he was.