Each Time We Love (33 page)

Savanna's head shot up, a wary expression coming into her
clear blue-green eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about," she
said after a brief pause. "I've told you everything."

Bodene shook his dark head. "No, you haven't-— and don't try
to lie to me. You might be able to fool some people with your denials,
but I've known you all of your life and it's obvious that there was
something between you two. It would have taken an idiot not to
recognize the explosive atmosphere whenever you and Adam got within ten
feet of each other, and while I've been called a lot of names, 'idiot'
hasn't been among them so far."

"Was it that obvious?" she asked painfully, writhing inside
that her reaction to Adam had been so apparent.

Bodene nodded. "Let's just say that the way you two acted
brought a speculative glint into other pairs of eyes besides my own."

Savanna bent her head. In a voice that he could barely hear,
she asked, "Adam?"

He snorted. "I think that Adam was too busy watching you to be
aware of anything else going on around him!"

"He hates me," she said dully, still not looking at her cousin.

"Somehow I rather doubt that! Now, are you going to tell me
what happened or not?"

"Oh, Bodene!" she burst out unhappily. "I can't explain it!
One minute I hate him and I'm certain he's the most arrogant,
infuriating, overbearing bastard I've ever met, and the next…" She
swallowed painfully. "The next, I think I'll die if I can't be with
him!" A defiant expression on her face, she muttered, "There! Is that
what you wanted me to say?"

"Not exactly—your admission doesn't come as any surprise! But
what I'm more interested in is if there are going to be any further
repercussions from this little fiasco… and I think you know
exactly
what I'm talking about!" There was a determined cast to his chiseled
mouth as Bodene finished speaking. He might have been favorably
impressed with Adam St. Clair so far, but he wasn't about to meekly
stand by and watch Savanna suffer the same fate as her mother. He'd
have no compunction about putting a pistol to Adam's head if that was
what it would take to save Savanna from further disgrace.

"I don't know!" she said sharply. "Ever since Micajah
kidnapped me, the normal signs haven't been there, so I have no way of
telling!"

For a moment Bodene's face was white. "Are you telling me," he
went on in a menacing tone, "that Micajah… ?"

Her eyes huge in her sundusted face, Savanna spat out
fiercely, "Good God, no! I'd have killed him!"

His color returning, he asked dryly, "But you didn't kill
Adam?"

Savanna sighed, a confused look on her face. "No," she said in
a soft, shaken voice. "I didn't kill Adam…"

"Do you want me to?" he inquired, the deadly gleam in his gaze
making it clear that he was perfectly ready and capable of doing so if
that was what she wanted.

Shaking her head vehemently, she replied hotly,
"No!"
A
flush stained her cheeks, and averting her eyes, she
muttered, "He didn't do anything that I didn't want him to do."

Far from satisfied with her answers, Bodene stared at her for
a long moment. "So what do we do now?" he finally asked.

"We go home and take up the threads of our lives."

"And if you are pregnant? What then?"

It was obvious that Bodene wasn't going to let the topic rest,
and wearily Savanna admitted, "I don't know what, but before you go
hurrying off after Adam, I think you should know that he asked me to
marry him and I refused!"

In angry, stupefied dismay, Bodene stared at her. "Why in the
hell did you do a damn fool thing like that?" he snarled when he could
finally speak, having decided that she had truly lost her wits.

"I don't have to explain myself to you!" Savanna snapped, and
standing up, she glared at Bodene. "But answer me this: what sort of a
life do you think I would have, married to a man who'd only married me
to give his child a name? A man who has good,
just
cause to hate me? Do you think that he could ever forget who I was and
what my father had done to his sister? Do you think that my
background—or rather, my lack of it—would ever be forgotten? Do you
think that his fine, wealthy friends and family would welcome me and my
child into their society?" Tears glittering in her eyes, she vowed
passionately, "Before I would subject myself and Adam to such a hellish
life, I'd raise the child alone—and the rest of you and the world be
damned!"

Bodene grimaced. Every question she'd asked had an ugly
answer, and crossing over to her, he touched her shoulder in awkward
commiseration. "I'm sorry, brat. I didn't stop to think. You're right.
And don't worry—if there is to be a child, you won't be alone. I'll
stand by you and see that you have everything you need."

Furiously blinking back tears, she buried her face in his
shoulder and muttered, "Oh, Bodene! What would I do without you?"

"Damned if I know!" he answered teasingly, trying to inject a
light note. "But there is one thing I do know—if we want to make any
distance today, we had better get riding!"

The remainder of their journey to Campo de Verde was
accomplished without incident, and the afternoon that they finally
arrived at the plantation, Savanna experienced a strong feeling of
refuge. For the first time in her life, Campo de Verde was precisely
where she wanted to be. Whatever sense of adventure had driven her from
it at eighteen had been, by the events of these past months, thoroughly
and irrevocably banished. As they rode down the shady driveway that led
to the main house, she realized suddenly that, whereas before she had
scorned her mother's life and the social restraints put upon her by
Elizabeth, now she yearned only for a return of those days. A return to
a time that didn't contain memories of Adam St. Clair and his
devastating possession of her…

There was one good thing, Savanna admitted painfully, that had
come out of her meeting with Adam St. Clair—she no longer held her
mother in loving contempt for her steadfast love of Davalos. Before
Adam, she had never understood what a cruel trick one's emotions could
play on a person, and she had always viewed her mother and others like
her with a cheerful disdain, certain that
she
would never fall victim to those same elemental feelings. Her mouth
twisted sadly. She wasn't ready to admit that what she felt for Adam
St. Clair was love; she only knew that there had never been anyone like
him in her life before and that these past few days she had missed him
intolerably—and that infuriatingly mocking grin of his! She was
shamefully aware that, despite her best intentions and grim
exhortations to the contrary, given the chance, she would think twice
before flinging a proposal of marriage back into his face.

It was a bitter, frightening admission for Savanna—made more
so by the vivid memories of what her mother had suffered for loving the
wrong man. And despite whatever she did feel for Adam, she was also
dead positive that only Murdering Micajah would be a worse choice for a
woman to waste any emotion on!

The sight of her mother's face as Elizabeth raced down the
broad steps to reach them when they stopped their horses in front of
the house brought a lump to Savanna's throat and she was suddenly,
deeply aware of a feeling of love and, for the first time, compassion
and understanding for what Elizabeth had endured. Flying out of the
saddle, oblivious of the tears in her eyes, she flung herself into her
mother's outstretched arms and fiercely hugged Elizabeth's small form
to her, appreciating and loving her as never before.

Elizabeth's aquamarine eyes glittered with tears. "Oh,
darling! I have been so worried! Just frantic! I feared that I would
never see you again! What happened? Why did you disappear that way?"

Savanna dropped a soft kiss on her mother's head and said
huskily, "Shush, sweetheart! I'm fine and I didn't disappear on
purpose—Micajah found me and kidnapped me!"

In horror Elizabeth stared at her. "Oh, my God! That awful
beast!" Shaking Savanna's shoulders gently, she asked urgently, "Are
you certain that you are all right?"

Savanna smiled. "Certain, Mother! I know it's hard to believe,
but Micajah didn't harm me… in
any
way. He
frightened me, but he didn't force himself on me."

"No," Bodene said dryly as he came up and dropped a kiss on
Elizabeth's cheek. "We have a gentleman by the name of Adam St. Clair
to thank for that!"

Elizabeth's eyes went round, darting uneasily from one young
face to the other. "What do you mean by that?" she demanded. "Who is
this Adam St. Clair, and what does he have to do with Micajah and
Savanna?"

Savanna glared at Bodene, who stared levelly back at her. She
would have liked to keep the full truth from Elizabeth—at least until
she knew whether she was indeed pregnant—but Bodene had forced her
hand—damn him! Giving Elizabeth another hug, she said wearily, "It is a
very long story, Mother. One I'd prefer to tell after I've had a long,
long,
long
bath and something other than pork and
cornmeal to eat!"

Elizabeth glanced from one to the other again, and smiling,
albeit a little uneasily, she said warmly, "Of course, darlings! I'm
sure you both must be longing for baths and a change of clothing."
Ushering them up the steps, she went on eagerly. "I'll have Cook put on
a nice plump chicken, and you shall dine tonight on chicken and tender
dumplings with fresh green peas and carrots from the garden. And for
dessert— why, I believe that a pie of blackberries with clotted cream
will finish off the meal delightfully."

Savanna and Bodene looked at each other and moaned with
pleasurable anticipation, their mouths watering. The meal was every bit
as delicious as it had sounded, and some hours later, her stomach full,
her face shiny with cleanliness, her red-gold hair flowing brightly
about her shoulders, wearing a gown of soft, pale green muslin, Savanna
sank blissfully into the down-filled cushions of the slightly worn sofa
in the back parlor. Bodene joined her on the sofa, his long legs
stretched out in front of him. Elizabeth sat across from them in a
high-backed chair covered in chintz, a low oak table in front of her.
She was busy pouring fragrant black coffee into the cups that were set
out before her.

It was only after everyone had been served and had begun to
sip the beverage that Elizabeth demanded an explanation. Her eyes
shadowy with worry, she stared at the two young people across the
pleasant room from her and said firmly, "Well, now, I think that I have
been exceedingly patient. It is time that you tell me everything."

And so it was that Savanna began to speak of the ordeal that
she had endured and of the advent of Adam St. Clair into her life.
Since Bodene had forced her hand, she kept nothing back concerning her
relationship with Adam, although she told only the barest details. When
she finally finished speaking, there was utter silence in the room.

In a voice full of outrage and pain, Elizabeth exclaimed, "Oh,
my dear! How could you have put yourself in danger in order to spare me
a bit of scandal?
You
are worth far more to me
than my good name!
Never
allow Micajah to force
you to do anything to spare me!"

"But the talk… people would stare and gossip, and your
friends…" Savanna protested.

Elizabeth drew herself up in a regal manner. "My
real
friends would continue to be my friends no matter what that vulgar
Micajah would say! And as for any others…" She sniffed disdainfully. "I
have endured worse than stares and gossip in my day, and as for those
mean-spirited souls who would listen and
believe
Micajah, why, I don't care a fig for them!" She smiled tenderly at her
daughter. "Never forget that
you
are the most
important thing to me and that together"—her warm glance included
Bodene—"we can survive anything. Haven't we done so in the past?"

A little misty-eyed, Savanna nodded and said softly, "I wish
that we had known more about the gold and what Davalos had intended to
do once he found it."

A worried expression crossed Elizabeth's face. "Darling,
promise me that you will give up any notion of finding the gold—it
caused your father's death and I couldn't bear it if you allowed it to
obsess you the way it did him. Promise me!"

Savanna made a face. "I already have. It has caused far too
much destruction already, and after hearing Jason's story, I have no
desire whatsoever to search for it."

Elizabeth's lips tightened at the mention of Jason Savage, and
seeing her reaction, Bodene said lightly, "Liza, I don't mean to speak
ill of the dead, but you know yourself that Davalos frequently lied to
you— certainly he didn't tell you the truth about Jason Savage. Jason
treated us very well and he had good reason not to. I know from having
met him previously that he is a fine and honorable man, and this latest
meeting with him only confirmed my earlier opinion. He may have been
Davalos's enemy, but only because Davalos drove him to it."

It was plain that Elizabeth didn't like Bodene's words, but it
was also obvious that she was trying to be fair. Smiling at her, Bodene
said coaxingly, "If you remember that Davalos had his own reasons for
twisting the truth, I think that when you do finally meet Jason Savage,
you will find that he in no way resembles the monster of Davalos's
ramblings. I like him and I think you will, too."

"Certainly better than that bastard Adam St. Clair!" Savanna
said darkly.

Savanna never realized how much she revealed by those harsh
words, but Elizabeth's face was full of understanding as she stared at
her daughter's set features. Hurrying across the room, she sank down on
the sofa beside her. "Oh, darling!" Elizabeth said unhappily as she
grasped Savanna's hands in her own. "It is almost worse than I feared."
Peering into Savanna's face, she asked hopefully, "Are you very certain
that you don't want to marry this Adam St. Clair? Have you really given
the matter enough thought?"