Dystopyum (The D-ot Hexalogy Book 1) (18 page)

Instantly, he found himself in the whitest, brightest light that he could
have ever imagined. As intensely bright as it was, it was the most
comforting thing he had ever felt. It actually held love, and Jan found
himself repeating in absolute awe, over and over again, “The light
is
love,
and the love is light! They are the same! This light is love. It’s love, and
it’s light! They are the same thing —” As he basked in it, he saw that it
went everywhere, and he could see it in every direction, even behind
himself, without having to look. Jan had never felt such ecstasy in all his
life. “This is wonderful!” he shouted.
Then a thought occurred to him. He looked down. He had no body.
“Where’s my body? — I’m losing my body!” He panicked, and instantly, with that thought, he felt a gravity-based “suction”, pulling him
— pulling him back down, down, down, and into his body. He found
himself sitting up in his hospital bed, heart racing, hyperventilating.
“Wow,” Jan said aloud, “That was a vision! It was more real than this
room.”
He looked up with wonder — he could feel it —still holding the
opposite of a shadow in his mind, “The light was love — amazing.” He
sat there for a while, calming down, and then laid back down to finally
fall into a deep sleep.
The next morning was truly the beginning of a new day. Jan awoke
refreshed, and the day carried the exhilarating feeling from the revelation
of light he had experienced the previous night.
He had to wait until after lunch to be released. He had hoped to be
able to leave before Rachel arrived for her shift. When he thought of her,
he had a block.
How can I repeat what happened between us last night,
after I saw the truth about her in the vision? She’s an angel, like Rebecca.
It doesn’t feel right —
“It is a difficult thing to communicate.”
It was the Guide.
Jan was surprisingly happy to hear the Guide. “Did you see what
happened last night? Was that awesome or what?” Jan exclaimed.
“You made the right choice last night, and Love was revealed to
you,”
the Guide replied —
“And yes, I was there and enjoyed your joy
immensely.”
Jan thought about it, and asked, “Does love make you soft?”

Then Jan had a small epiphany, actually, an aftershock of the night
before. He said, “It’s because we’re not supposed to be here, isn’t it? The
writings say we are blind and lost. We’re supposed to be in heaven.”

“Yes,”
the Guide responded,
“Before the beginning, love was not
created for a world that would die
—
but this temporary world, outside of
heaven
—
this impossible world of survival is nonetheless starving for
lack of it. You are the ones that can still bring it.”

Jan remembered the previous day, and said, “I’m sorry I said those
things to you yesterday.”
“I know,”
replied the Guide,
“Apology accepted and appreciated.”
Jan went back to pondering the what the Guide had said. He had to
put the issue of Rachel out of his mind for now. The doctor came in, gave
the final examination, and Jan was released. They called his father, who
was to pick Jan up from the hospital. As he was gathering his last few
items, Rachel arrived.
Rachel came into the room and said, “So I hear you’ve been released.” There was an uncomfortable silence. She piped up again and
smilingly said, “I’m really glad you were able to stay last night.”
Jan smiled at her and said, “Me too. It was — really nice.”
“Really nice? That’s all?” She calmly sauntered over to Jan and put
her arms up around his neck. Looking into his eyes, she said, “Here’s
some more ‘nice’,” and closed her eyes and pulling his head to hers,
proceeded to give Jan a full, long, wet kiss. He put his arms around her
and rolled with it.
She was already getting steamy, and Jan, whose eyes weren’t closed,
thought to himself,
My God, her ears are already getting red! I must be
crazy —
” He found himself pulling away from her.
Rachel opened her eyes and looked at him. “Is something wrong?”
she asked.
“No, no. Of course not. It’s just that — I don’t know how to say it.”
He looked at her, with sorrowful eyes, and said, “It’s just that you are so
beautiful, and I — I don’t feel right treating you that way.”
Rachel stepped back, and her posture straightened. “Is this a joke?”
She started tapping her foot, trying to compute this. She had never been
rejected before.
“I loved you last night,” she said, with a distressed look in her eyes.
Jan said, “I love you today more than last night. That’s the problem. I
love you, Rachel, more than you know. I saw you in a vision last night,
and you were an angel.” He paused, and looked through her eyes and
miles past. “A beautiful angel.” Then he stepped toward her, and took her
hands. “I want to know you, and be with you, but I can’t picture doing
that with you again — at least for now.”
They were still looking into each other’s eyes.
Rachel’s face, which had become strained, relaxed with a sudden
realization. She tilted her head to the side, evaluating Jan, and with a wry
smirk said, “Love-lovers — they come in all shapes and sizes.”
Jan was startled. “You know?”
Rachel just smiled her lazy smile, took Jan’s hands, and scratched his
left thumb, then his right, and said, “What do you think?”
Jan grinned and started chuckling, “Well I’ll be. That’s great! Where
do you go?”
Rachel said, “We attend the meetings in North Justilant, like Ziba.
That’s where I met her.” Then she looked excited, still holding his hands.
“You must come! Come to our next meeting, pleeeeaaaassssseee.” She
waited for a response from Jan, who was still processing all this. “I’ll
introduce you to the best people — there’s a lot going on now. I have
many friends there.”
Jan perked up. “Do they have many Platac writings?”
Rachel looked puzzled. “What’s a Platac?”
“Something tells me you’re not into the studies,” Jan joked.
“Oh, no. I just love the people. I get a lot of theater dates there,”
Rachel replied. Then she looked at Jan innocently, and said, “Would you
take me to the theater sometime?”
Jan smiled at her.
What a lovely —
he thought. “Anytime, sweetie,
anytime.”
How could she have gone through life so untouched by the
world?
They spent a short time talking, and eventually Rachel had to go
on her rounds.
Griswolt finally arrived at the hospital. They left and went home,
using a one-contiss taxi. On the way, Griswolt lectured Jan on the need to
learn more self-defense. He also said that Barab had been expelled from
school, and would not be allowed to return.
“Why don’t you train me, Dad?” Jan asked when the subject of martial arts came up.
Griswolt just gazed at Jan with a pitiful look, and while rubbing his
shoulder and laughing, said, “Because I would knock you on your ass. I
would hurt you, because that’s all I’ve been trained to do. I haven’t been
trained to teach.” They agreed that Jan would start after his injuries
healed.
He looked at his son.
What’s going to become of you?
Griswolt
thought about it.
He is so soft, like his mother.
“I’m worried about you, son,” Griswolt said. “You aren’t ready for
the real world, and here you are, about to graduate.”
“Well, I’ll be in mineral processing with Mom,” Jan said. “It should
be OK there.”
Griswolt shook his head. “There are assholes like Barab or Hais everywhere. You’ve got to be tough with them from the start. Never take any
shit from anyone who isn’t above you.”
Jan nodded his head in agreement. They spent the rest of the trip
talking about the choices of martial arts classes in the area, and about a
few “easy attack moves,” that Griswolt knew by heart.

six contiss bus to the north side of town. It was an interesting ride until they left the city limits. They were both
dressed in the typical black or dark gray leather gear, with

Rebecca adding a dash of white accessories. Her lipstick was a bright
shade of red — she had been choosing redder lipsticks since meeting
Rachel.

The landscape gave way to an assortment of fewer and fewer homes
sitting between the increasingly isolated sand dunes
—
a preview of the
desert that lay further north.

In an hour and a half, they approached the area of the estate of Professor Kalep, an archaeologist who was one of the oldest members of LERN.
Dr. Kalep came from an aristocratic family that once owned the mines in
the northlands. It was a miracle that his family was not simply murdered
by the NOV when they nationalized the most of the mines. This good
fortune was because one of the Kaleps, his grandfather to be exact, was
the brother to the wife of one of the NOV’s most powerful senators. The
wife had blackmailed her husband into having the government pay the
Kalep family what the mine was actually worth. This was unheard of in
those days.

Jan and Rebecca had become regular attendees of these meetings in
Dr. Kalep’s home for the past three months. Jan had been able to obtain
copies of wonderful new additions to add to his personal collection of
scriptures. He continued to be fascinated by the grace found in the Platac
writings in matters of life, philosophy, and, of course, love.

As Jan and Rebecca entered the house, they were attracted by the
buzz going on around Dr. Kalep in the great room, which was just ahead
beyond the large, ornate foyer they had initially entered. He was
pronouncing, in his deep theatrical voice, “My grandfather lived to see
this day, and it is a shame that it has taken so long, but it is now at hand.”
He
had
to be openly talking about the escape, and the buzz of the forty or
so people standing around there increased.

Jan said to Rebecca, under his breath, “See, I told you, this group
is
close to news about the escape.”
Rebecca was just as hopeful about the escape as Jan was. There had
been many rumors about it lately — expectation was in the air.
Rachel came running up to them as soon as she saw them. “Oh, I’m
so glad you two made it!” She gave Rebecca a friendly hug, as well as
Jan. Rachel was excited about something and said, “Jan, there’s someone
I want you to meet. You’ll just love him!”
Jan smiled, and turned his head towards Rebecca.
Rebecca knew the look. He was going to be off for the evening, delving into long conversations about everything from the escape to boringly
understanding the nuances between differing translations of the writings.
She had become friendly with Rachel, although Rebecca was still wary of
Rachel’s sudden friendship with Jan. She could see that all the males
drooled over Rachel.
God, I wish I had a body like that. I wish I had
anything like that.
Rebecca and Jan had visited Rachel’s apartment after
the last meeting, and Rebecca decided then that she really did like Rachel.
The bubbly Rachel had so many fish in the sea that Rebecca decided she
was most likely not a threat regarding Jan.
Jan went on his way throughout Dr. Kalep’s mansion. Rachel introduced him to Lep, a lead technician in Strakna Laboratories, the only
remaining vaccine producing facility in the entire NOV. Lep had been in
LERN for over four years. He was young for his position, but had been
covertly positioned by LERN into the top-secret Platac territory vaccine
project. Jan took a liking to Lep quickly upon meeting him.
“Lep’s a real joker,” Rachel said, nudging Lep.
“Naw, not me. I’m the most serious guy in the world, just ask my
mom,” Lep replied.
Lep was looking at Jan’s crest.
“Go ahead, hit me, I’m used to it,” Jan said with a grin.
Lep took another look at Jan’s crest, and said shaking his head said,
“Nope, too easy.” He laughed, and then asked, “Does it glow at night?”
Jan mirrored, “Nope.”
Then Lep took a glance at Rachel’s crest and said, “I heard Rachel’s
does sometimes, though!”
That cracked Rachel up, and as they were laughing her ears started
turning redder, making them all laugh even more. After they settled down,
Jan asked, “So Lep, you work in the lab. What’s the latest about the new
vaccines?”
Lep became serious. LERN had developed him. They managed to
place him in the vaccine lab because he was a young and gifted microbiologist. He had been trained to say nothing about LERN’s progress, but it
was becoming exceedingly difficult as LERN approached fruition of their
plans.
“I’m sorry friend, that’s on a ‘need to know’ basis.” Then he leaned in
close to Jan and Rachel. He whispered, “We are closer than you know.
You’ve got to stay in touch now, because when it happens, it will happen
swiftly, with no second chances.”
Rachel then looked across the room of conversing people and said,
“Oh there’s Dr. Scrib, he just started with our group. This will be his first
love-circle meeting, and I told him I would hold his hand.” Dr. Scrib was
a loner, and was painfully shy with females. He studied self-help books
about this, but to no avail. His mother was wealthy from old money, and
held the inheritance over his head like a heavy weight. The few females
he had brought home did not suit her. He was one of the few D’otians
who had to wear glasses, was of a medium height of about nine feet, and
was rather lean. Rachel went over to Dr. Scrib to say hello, and shortly
thereafter Dr. Kalep called everyone for the commencement of the lovecircles.
To do this, they all divided into manageable circles of up to ten
people. Even numbers were preferred. Holding hands, they were to
simply stand in silence, each locking eyes with the ones on the opposite
side of the circle. Each person focused on sending love to the others, and
receiving the same. Each one did this by perceiving the “holy self” of the
other. Their core belief was that life came from love. The goal was to fill
the circle with love to overflowing. There was no set end to these
sessions. Those in each circle intuitively knew when they had had
enough, and the hands would break their hold on one another when the
time was right. When they were done, there was an otherworldly, greatly
expanded feel to the group. A feeling of peace, comfort, and easy
openness would exist that was not quite so evident before.
After all the love-circles had been completed, they continued to gather into groups, talk, and plan. A secret group of LERN leaders, however,
did the real planning.
At the end of the meeting, they all parted ways. Jan and Rebecca
caught the next bus going to all the way to the south side of town, along
with a few others who lived in the city.
The evening was cool, and it had been raining during the meeting.
Rebecca snuggled up to Jan, and said, “I wish we could always be like
this.”
“Like how?” Jan asked, as he put his arm around her to warm her.
“Like how we all got together tonight, as if there were no worries —
and our love circle tonight, it was grand.” She sighed, closed her eyes,
and fitted herself a little more snugly with Jan.
Jan looked down at her. He smiled because she appeared so comfortable, so content. He raised his eyes, and noticed a large miner, still in his
mining outfit, coming home from work on the bus, staring at them with a
scene playing in his head. The frown on his face said that it was a dark
scene. Public displays of intimacy were a target for assholes.
Jan’s pulse shot up, and he reacted with rage.
Nobody fucks with me
anymore!
Jan was now pretty tall for his age, and about three hundred and
ninety pounds — lean and mean. Jan jolted himself upright, projecting
forward, startling Rebecca. His jaw was jutting out, his hands poised to
tear this guy a new asshole and he roared, “WHAT?” at the one staring at
him, ready to jump and pound the shit out of him if he said almost
anything.
The miner quickly looked away, ruffled and frightened by this large
youngster’s reaction. He did not look back, hoping to avoid the impending beating he now envisioned.
Rebecca, startled, felt a flash of fear — of Jan. She hadn’t seen him
do anything like this before. She kept silent until it was over. “You scared
me,” she said, after Jan settled back down.
“I’m just sick of it — he thought we were weak,” Jan replied, eyes
locked on the miner. I’m tired of backing down, being beaten down. I
don’t care anymore — my freedom is more important than my life.”
“What did he do?” Rebecca asked, glancing again at whom Jan was
now staring down.
“His eye wasn’t right,” Jan replied, frowning. “I felt great a minute
ago, and he stole it from me, just like all these fuckers here will if they get
half a chance.” He waved his hand but the others on the bus were now
intentionally looking away from him, even the few love-lovers. Then he
settled down, and sat back.
Rebecca snuggled up again, and said, “Well, forget about it now, it’s
over, right?”
Jan was still staring at the miner. “I’ve got to be ready for him. People
like him are like elas. Always looking for a weakness, and they will
always strike. If he sees me relax, who knows? I can’t relax now.”
They departed the bus at their stop. As they walked down the street to
their homes, Rebecca took Jan’s arm again and held on to him closely. It
felt so warm to be with him. She took a forward look towards her home.
Her father Hais had a new girlfriend living there who was a jealous,
vindictive thing. When they stopped in front of Rebecca’s house, she
turned to Jan and said, “Thanks for a great evening. It was so nice,” and
she put her arms around Jan, and went to kiss him.
Jan, caught off-guard, returned her kiss with an abbreviated one.
Rebecca looked at him and sighed. She had accepted that it wasn’t a
rejection. She knew he completely loved and accepted her, and that is
why she was so in love with him. Still —
“You are so bizarre. Are you sure you’re not gandy?” she said, taunting him.
Jan gave her the look that said, “Give me a break.” He sighed, “You
know, I’ve told you before. You are too beautiful for me to use like that.”
“And you are a sicko!” she teased, tickling him. She still loved him as
much as he loved her, and that seemed to be enough for now. Rebecca
looked at her house and sighed. She hated to end the evening by walking
into there. Her drunken dad’s new drunken girlfriend constantly threatened Rebecca with the fire. Rebecca would be eighteen years old shortly,
and finally free of that threat.
Jan laughed at the insult and tickle, and said, “I do love you Rebecca.” Then he glanced with distain in the direction of her home and said,
“We’ll find a way to get you out of there.” He had discussed the issue at
home, but could not budge Griswolt to let Rebecca live with them.
“That’s all we need, an unapproved pregnancy!” would be Griswolt’s
immediate response.
They said their goodbyes, and Jan went home for the end of an evening that, considering all things, left him feeling a bit more complete.
Another three months later, guests began gathering at Jan’s house for
his and Rebecca’s graduation party.
People were beginning to mingle, and Rachel had arrived unusually
early. She was not her chatty self, and seemed self-absorbed with
something. She found Jan in the living room.
After saying her hellos, Rachel motioned Jan over to an empty part of
the room.
“What’s the matter, Rachel?” Jan asked her when they had a little
privacy.
Rachel looked at him, her eyes opened wide to almost twice their
size. Jan took hold of her hands and said, “My God, you are shaking!
What’s wrong?”
“I’m — preg — nant,” Rachel said — machine-like, just to get the
words out. She was clenching Jan’s hands now, looking up at him for
some sign of help.
Jan’s jaw dropped, and he felt the blood draining out of his face.
Here, on the eve of freedom, he was to have this bomb dropped in his lap
now, tonight. O
h brother. Is it mine?
There was always hope that it
wasn’t. So he said it. “Is in mine?”
Rachel released her grip on him. “Of course it’s yours! What do you
think of me?”
I thought you seemed really experienced,
Jan thought.
Better not say
that. Damn. I just wanted to have some fun tonight.
“Listen, Rachel,” he
said, “I won’t run from this. Let’s talk about this after the party, though,
OK? Maybe tomorrow?”
Rachel sighed. At least he wasn’t rejecting her, which was her main
fear.
Rebecca just arrived and was still in the kitchen. Jan froze, realizing
that the other shoe hadn’t dropped. He looked at Rachel in no little panic
and said, “Don’t tell anyone for now, OK? Especially Rebecca?” He
followed with, “Can I not
deal
with this tonight?”
Rachel wanted to “deal” with it for the rest of the evening, but she
held back for now. She could be sociable tonight, it was after all Jan’s
graduation party, and it could wait — for a little while, anyway.
Rebecca had said hello to Martha in the kitchen, then came walking
up to the two of them in the living room. She studied Jan, and said, “You
look like someone just told you that you didn’t graduate. What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Jan replied, with a voice that was a bit too high.
Rebecca could tell he was ruffled. She looked at Rachel, who had
slipped into “social mode”, and was her usual exuberant self again.
No
clue there,
Rebecca thought. She looked over those who had arrived,
standing in the living room.
Most of the guests were LERN members, but they were always careful about their conversations if they were not at an official LERN
meeting. Lep and Dom showed up next. Jan had become good friends
with Lep, but had not yet met his friend Dom. He had heard that he was a
goofy guy, but very smart with gadgets. Dom worked at the vaccine lab
with Lep. Dom was a short and wide fellow, and tonight he wore an
unusually loose large yellow leathercloth shirt over some baggy green
gendra hide pants.
Before he got a chance to talk with Lep and Dom, Jan saw that his
buddy Buz was walking into the living room now, and that gave him the
chance to move away from the girls.
“Hey brother,” Jan said to Buz, “How about we get started on the
tuba?” Getting drunk seemed like a very good idea before. It was an even
better idea now.
“I’m there, buddy,” replied Buz. They went into the kitchen, where
Martha was preparing snacks for the guests. Jan pulled out two big
glasses, and proceeded to fill them both to the brim.
Martha turned and saw the size of the glasses, and said, “You two had
better be careful! The night is young, and you don’t want to get sick
tonight.”
If you only knew, Mom,
Jan thought.
I’ve got to tell somebody or I’ll
explode!
He remembered Lep and Dom, got another two glasses out, and
filled them as well. Jan wanted to retreat to his bedroom downstairs to get
away from the adults at the party for a minute, and to avoid both Rachel
and Rebecca as well. He called his buddies to come join him, and so they
followed him downstairs.
“Dude what is
up
with you?” Buz asked, as they walked into Jan’s
room.
“I just want to get drunk, drunk, drunk,” Jan said, shaking his head.
The others could tell that something was bothering him, and Lep said,
“Yeah, Jan, why so stiff? This is your graduation party, bud! Let’s party!”
He started doing a little jig, and Dom joined in.
Jan grinned at Dom. He just met him, and took an instant liking to
him. “So you two work together?” Jan asked, trying to be friendly.
Dom said, “No, we don’t work together. He’s the slave master, and I
am the slave!”
Lep shoved Dom, and said, “Yeah, right. If I could get you to work,
you might be able to say that. You’ve got to show up for work,
and
stay
awake to be a slave!” They all laughed.
Realizing they all had to talk above some rattling coming from the
wall, Dom asked, “What’s that sound?”
“Oh, that’s coming through the vent down here. It just started last
week,” said Jan.
“I can fix that!” exclaimed Dom, suddenly looking like he
really