Dylan (22 page)

“I can’t . . . um . . . there’s something
else that you don’t know.”

She’s fidgeting, bouncing slightly on her
feet while twisting a strand of hair in a loop around her finger.
Her obvious distress makes my heart lodge in my throat and my
stomach plummet. What more could this girl need to tell me? What
more could there be?

“I have a daughter.” She winces at the
admission, and I can feel my heart stop.

It doesn’t slow down or sputter out. It just
stops, and I feel like I can hardly breathe as my mind runs through
a series of awful scenarios, but I know what she’s about to tell
me. I can feel it. As much as I hate it, and as sick as it makes me
feel, I still have to get the words out. All I have to do is talk
about it, but my angel had to live through it.

“You have a daughter.” I repeat, not knowing
what else to say as I try to stomp down the inescapable rage that
fills me again. “He knocked you up didn’t he?” I don’t need her to
answer this, I already know, and the flinch of her body only
confirms it.

“Fuck!” I release a hard breath while
running my hands roughly through my hair. “Goddamn it!”

I’m so fucking pissed for her that I can
barely think straight. I want to make everything better. I want to
take away all of the pain she has ever endured, but there is
nothing I can do to make this better. The feeling of helplessness
is not something I have befriended in years, but it’s back now with
a vengeance. Taking my silence completely the wrong way, Raven
takes another step away from me and crosses her arms over her chest
defensively.

“If you can’t accept this, I understand,
Dylan. It will hurt, but I know this isn’t the kind of baggage
that’s easy to live with, and—”

I reach out for her arm, pull her tightly
against me, and slam my lips to hers to stop the words that are
stabbing into my chest. Raven is mine. I’ll take any
baggage
she has, and I will do my damndest to make it easier for her to
carry. Hell, I’ll carry it myself if she’ll let me, but I will
never let her suffer. Not anymore.

When I pull back, we are both breathless.
Her cheeks are tinted pink, and her eyes are heavy, but I need her
to know that I’m in this for the long haul. I’m not going anywhere.
Ever. She is all I see, want, fucking need, Kid or no kid. I’ve
never thought of myself as a dad in any form of the word, but how
could I not want that life with Raven?

“I’m here, Raven. I’m not going anywhere.” I
force myself to breathe deeply before I continue. “Am I pissed?
Yeah, I’m pissed. I’m pissed that he hurt you. I’m pissed that you
have to handle the responsibilities of a child you didn’t ask for,
but I admire your strength so damn much it fucking hurts.”

I lay my lips against hers softly. “You
can’t blame me for being upset, but you have to know that I’m not
upset with you. None of that shit matters when it comes to what we
have. Kid or no kid, you’re mine.”

She softens in my grip, and I watch the
happiness once again flicker in her eyes, but there is still a
hesitancy there that I don’t like. Not at all. I will have to fix
that, but I know it will take time. Raven won’t be able to accept
me until she feels secure in what we have. So, I’ll make her the
most secure woman on the fucking planet.

“Okay.” Her reply is simple, and it’s
exactly what I’ve come to expect from her.

I grin. “Okay.” I repeat on a small laugh. I
shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans, and chew on my bottom
lip before I gain the courage to speak again. “Can I meet her?”

The grin on Raven’s face reaches megawatt
status. I can feel my nervous grin pull my lip from between my
teeth. Raven nods causing the knot in my chest loosens.

“Why don’t I pick you both up to stay at my
place tonight? Or, at least let me take you both to dinner.” The
smile on Raven’s face turns instantly to shock, and has me
backpedaling as I pull my lip between my teeth again. Fuck, I don’t
know how to handle this situation. “Too soon?”

She shakes her head, adding a nervous
chuckle of her own. “No. I just— I guess I didn’t see that coming.
I just didn’t think you would handle this well.” By the time she’s
finished speaking, her grin is back in its rightful place. “We’d
love to stay with you.”

“Great. I’ll pick my girls up at six then.”
I kiss her check and wink.

The term “my girls” seemed to slip out as if
it was the most natural thing for me to say, and that has my mind
spinning even further into this rushed sense of commitment. I’ve
never taken care of a kid before, but something about the thought
of watching Raven with her daughter warms me inside. I wonder if
her daughter looks like her. I really hope she does. I can’t
imagine how hard it would be for Raven if her daughter looked like
the man who hurt her.

I don’t fully understand why I’m not running
scared right now. I’ve never even been in a serious relationship,
and this has gotten beyond serious, fast. Yet, something about this
just
feels
right. It’s like this is how my life is supposed
to be. I haven’t even met the little one yet, and I’m already
thinking in terms of three.

I kiss Raven one last time before I turn and
leave the room. I feel better than I have in years. Actually, I
don’t think I have ever felt this good. Trisha is waiting for me at
the bottom of the stairs. She’s wearing a shirt that looks an awful
lot like one I’ve seen on Ethan before, and the fact that it is
bigger than her small frame tells me that it probably is. Trisha
had been the one to answer the phone last night when the guard
called to let them know I was here. I know she is worried about
Ethan, but honestly, I don’t know what she is expecting me to say.
I haven’t seen him.

“Good night?” A knowing grin slips onto her
face.

I wink at her before I can stop myself.
Trisha has always been open about sex, and most of the time she is
like the ultimate wingman when it comes to us guys. She isn’t
oblivious. She knows exactly what happened between Raven and I last
night, and thankfully, she looks pretty happy about it.

“The best, and before you ask, I don’t know
where Ethan is, but I’ll let him know you’re looking for him if I
see him.”

I’m used to this routine with Trisha. Ethan
disappears, and Trisha immediately asks me where he is. This time I
really don’t fucking know. I haven’t heard from him since his phone
call last night. Ethan deals with this life in his own way, and
that way usually involves disappearing. It’s just the way things
have always been, and it further solidifies Trisha’s insanity.

She nods in acceptance, and I take that as
my queue to leave. When I head outside the mid-morning sun is
already shining brightly and the wind is blowing against the trees.
It’s like the weather is an exact reflection of my morning. As I
climb into the Camaro I head toward Ronan’s mansion, I’m feeling on
top of the world, but I know this feeling isn’t going to last. I
think that is why I’m trying so hard to hold onto it.

I need to see Sean, and I need to talk to
Ronan about what our next move will be. If we weren’t in a war
before, we sure as fuck are now. The blows that are coming our way
are more than we can handle without retaliation. We can’t let this
go unpunished. This is Sean fucking Rian we are talking about. He’s
not some pansy ass lackey that falls down easily.

This war is the biggest reason I want Raven,
and her daughter with me. I know can keep them safe. Now that Raven
is associated with me, she has become a target in a way. Most of
the other organizations won’t go after women or children, but with
Callie? You just never fucking know.

Ronan’s mansion sits just on the edge of
town, and takes up sixteen-acres of land. Any amenity you can
possibly imagine is on this property. The driveway alone feels like
its own separate stretch of land, and by the time I park in front
of the house Troy and Kaci are walking down the steps.

I climb out so that I can meet them at the
bottom. Kaci has obviously been crying, and Troy looks tenser then
I have seen him in a while. Most likely because Kaci is crying.

“How’s he holding up?” I struggle to get the
words out through the emotion clogging my throat.

Kaci snuggles into Troy’s side, well, as
close as she can with that belly of hers, but she stays quite as
Troy nods slightly before he speaks.

“Doctor thinks he’ll pull out of this, and
that hope is what we need to hang on to.” Troy’s hand softly stokes
over Kaci in a soothing motion.

I nod my agreement. “Have you heard from
Ethan?”

Troy shakes his head sorrowfully. “Ronan
says he’s holed up somewhere kicking his own ass for not getting to
Sean sooner.”

“We need to find him, man. This shit isn’t
his fault.”

“You know Ethan, D. He’ll come around when
he’s needed, or ready. Whichever comes first.”

Fuck
. Yeah, that’s usually how it is,
but last time we found him lying in a puddle of his own vomit with
a bottle of tequila in his hand, and this will be worse. This is
Sean.

“All right, man. I’ll catch you two later.”
I pat Troy’s back, and smile weakly at Kaci.

Stepping back, I head inside and straight up
to Sean’s room. The private doctor has him hooked up to all kinds
of tubes and machines, but I’m surprised to see the tube in his
head has been removed. That has to be a good sign, right? I close
the door behind me as I take the chair next to his bed.
Surprisingly, Ronan isn’t in here right now. I won’t complain.

Seeing Sean like this is a huge wake-up call
for me. We need to end this, and we need to do it now. Someone,
probably Kaci, has smoothed Sean’s brown hair away from his face,
and his lashes are fanned over his cheeks. If he weren’t so bruised
to shit, I could almost convince myself that he’s just
sleeping.

I know that he probably can’t hear me, but I
talk anyway. Mostly about shit that would drive him crazy if he
were awake. Like how pussy whipped I really am. He would be giving
me so much shit right now, but mixed in with the all the bullshit
would be acceptance. That’s the thing about Sean. He’s always been
like our much older brother even though he is only three years
older than I am.

He can talk shit for days, but it’s always
out of some twisted form of brotherly love. I know that he would
love Raven if he met her. When he meets her. Just to make myself
feel better, I tell him about Raven’s confessions.

I promise him, and myself, that retribution
will rain down on those who put him here. I know Ethan has already
handled the majority it, but by the time we’re done, Roy Elliot
will join his entire crew in Hell. I hope Sean is there to pull the
final trigger.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Raven

What did
I think would happen if I told Dylan about Steven and Harper?
I
don’t know. I guess my first reaction was that he would run for the
hills. I feel sick just thinking about all of the things Steven did
to me, and my biggest fear is that it will never go away. I’ll
always be disgusted with myself at the thought of Steven, and then
there’s Harper.

As if my baggage with Steven isn’t enough, I
throw Harper on him. I don’t know a lot about men, but I’m pretty
certain that should have pushed him away for sure, but he didn’t
run. Dylan didn’t look at me like I was repulsive—even though I had
felt that way—and he didn’t freak out about me having Harper.

Maybe, there really are good men like my
Uncle Jim out there. I had always assumed that men like Uncle Jim
were rare and out of reach. I still think they’re rare, but Dylan
is most definitely within reach, and I am not letting go
easily.

I turn at the sound of my door opening, and
watch as Trisha walks in. She’s wearing sweats, and one of her
baggie t-shirts. She looks defeated. I almost feel guilty for being
so happy. I sit down on the couch in my room, and pat the seat next
to me. A small smile tugs at her lips as she takes the seat.

“Want to talk about it?” I lean my head to
rest against her shoulder just like I’ve done a hundred times
before.

Sometimes, I think it’s easier to talk to
someone when you don’t have to look them in the eyes.

“Ethan is ignoring me.”

“You ignore him.” I point out. I’m not
trying to upset her further. I just feel like this should no longer
be an issue after all of this time.

“This is different. I saw him at a party the
other night. I tried to talk to him, but he blew me off and left. I
haven’t heard from him since.”

I sit up, and look into the naive face of my
gorgeous cousin. I don’t know where she formed her personal view of
relationships, but how could she have not seen this coming? No one
likes to be played with, and all she does is toy with him.

“I think you need to tell him how you feel,
Trisha. I don’t think Ethan wants to play your game anymore.”

A sob bubbles up from her throat, but she
tries to hold it back by placing her face in her hands. “You don’t
understand, Raven.” Her words are muffled as she speaks through her
hands.

“What are you so worried about?

Trisha tilts her head to look at me with an
incredulous look on her face. “I’m worried he’ll freak. I can’t
lose him, Raven.”

“I just told Dylan about Steven, and then I
told him about Harper. Was I scared? Hell yeah I was, but did he
run? No, Trisha, he didn’t. If Dylan is willing to accept my fucked
up past, and hang around, then Ethan shouldn’t freak about the fact
that a beautiful woman is in love with him.”

I didn’t mean to go into a big rant, but by
the time I’m finished, I feel like something has been lifted off my
chest. Trisha is gaping at me. I clasp my hands in my lap as I wait
for her to speak. I don’t want to make my problems seem bigger than
hers. Honestly, I don’t really know Ethan, but if Trisha loving him
will send him running, then he doesn’t deserve her anyway.