Dusty Britches (46 page)

“
I mean…it can
’
t be a good memory…the way you were injured. So if y
a
want to keep to yourself about it…
”
She shook her head, irritated she was in the situation at all.
“
I just came down here to relax! I didn
’
t mean to disturb you
.
You need to l
ie
back down, go back to sleep
,
and wake up on the right side of the bed this time!
”
she told him angrily.
She turned and
began to walk away.

“
Ain
’
t y
a
ever wondered what happened to me ove
r them five years?” Ryder asked
.
His question was completely unexpected.
“
Or are y
a
still so wrapped up in what happened to you that it really never entered your mind to ask?
”

She turned around and met his angry, hurt glare.
I wondered what happened to you every day of my life for five years
!
That
’
s how I spent my time
,
she thought.
“
Of course it entered my mind. But I figured you would
’
ve told people if you
’
d wanted them to know.
”

Ryder nodded.
“
A few men caught up with me a year or so ago. And
’
cause you
’
re right
—
I do keep my business to myself most times
—
here
’
s the short of it. These men had a bone to pick wit
h me…and they intended to pick—literally. Now, I make a pe
rty good a
ccountin’ of myself in a fight—
even a fight that ain
’
t fair like this one was.
”
He didn
’
t have to tell her. She already knew it from firsthand experience.
“
But there were four of these hombres, and I didn
’
t have it in me that day to get
’
em down…bein
’
that I was still sick with somethin
’
rattlin
’
in my chest. Well, these fellers put my arms
’
round a tree and tied my hands
on the other side of the trunk…
tied my feet too. And then you know what they did there, Miss Hunter?
”
He glared down at her.
“
One of them took a big ol
’
knife out of his boot and made that first big, long cut
’
cross my back. Then he leans forward like this…
”
Ryder leaned forward and put his mouth right next to Dusty
’
s ear, sending a wave of goose bumps erupting over her.
“
And he said,
‘
We
’
re gonna skin you, boy! We
’
re gonna skin you clean one strip at a time!
’
He stuck th
e blade of his dirty old knife—
the kind a man uses to skin an animal
—
he stuck that blade real deep into that cut he made and started tearin
’
my skin away from my body. He yanked on it first, tearing the skin down some. I thought I was gonna pass out it hurt so bad. I never imagined anything like that in my life! Any kinda pain like that! Then, very slowly, so that it hurt all the more, he tore the skin down and down and down. Oh, I know them other scars are only a few inches down
,
but believe me, sugar…when someone
’
s skinnin
’
you slow as they can…it hurts like
hell!

“
Someone had seen them come upon me and had run in town for the sheriff. If they hadn
’
t, I
’
d be dead now…if not from bein
’
without my skin and bleedin
’
to death, for the sake of the pain. The doctor sewed me up as best he could, and thank goodness he cleaned me out good first…which was painful too, I might mention. I still have nightmares about them devils and what they did and intended to do to me. The physical pain on its own was more than I can tell you…but emotionally it messed me up a
while too. So, like those close to you have been tellin
’
you for some time now, you need to be riddin
’
yourself completely of that attitude of yours and look around to see who else might have their own scars to bear!
”
With that, he simply
glared
down at her.

By now the tears
were flowing freely down Dusty’s cheeks. S
he could see in Ryder
’
s eyes that the memory of the abuse he endured had somehow hardened his soul against her for that moment in time. His eyes were cold and angry as he looked at her. She could only stand
in shock—
unable to comprehend such horrors. To endure something the like! To live through it! What kind of a man…how much strength he must have had! And she was angry
—a
ngry anyone wo
uld hurt him so—t
hat
anyone would dare to touch him—to maim his perfect body—
to cause him such pain!

“
Why?
”
she asked in a whisper.
“
Why would anyone want to do that to you?
”

He sighed
and
looked away for a moment
and
then back to her.
“
You
’
ve been angry at me before? Ain
’
t the thought ever crossed your mind?
”

She su
ddenly realized something then—
actually consciously realized how very unselfish he was. All the time he
’
d been back, all he
’
d ever
done was try to encourage her—
try to draw her out. And all this time she
’
d never thought he might have pain of his own. She had never comforted him. It was an aspect of who she
’
d been that she
’
d lost along with everything else. She felt it come back to her in that very instant! She felt the desire to be compassionate and
helpful strengthen within her—
even beyond what it had in emerging little by little before. It was at that moment she realized she now felt it. Now she wasn
’
t just doing what she knew she had to do to give comfort and happiness. She felt it. Her bosom felt warm and hopeful inside. He
’
d done it again. Even now, again Ryder healed a part of her without even trying. She also realized he didn
’
t want to tell her any more. For whatever reasons
—
and her curiosity would nearly kill her
,
she knew
—
he did not want to tell her any
more.

“
No,
”
Dusty stated kindly.
“
I
’
ve considered slappin
’
you a time or two, kickin
’
you hard in the seat of the pants, but I
’
ve never considered skinnin
’
you alive.
”
She smiled warmly at him
,
and he sighed with relief.

Ryder grinned, rubbed at his eyes
,
and mumbled,
“
I
’
m testy sometimes when I wake up.
”

“
I figured that out,
”
Dusty told him, wishing in her most secret of wishes she could be the one to wake him up every
day
forever.

He grinned and asked,
“
You goin
’
swimmin
’
?
”

Dusty shrugged.
“
I was thinkin
’
about it.
”

“
Well,
”
he said
,
stretching,
“
if you
’
re plannin
’
on a bit a skinny
-
dippin
’
…I might hang around. Otherwise…I got some things to do.
”

Dusty
’
s eyes widened, and she smiled, unable to completely hide her delight at his flirting with her. He grinned, obviously pleased with having made her smile. Dusty wondered why she fought so hard to conceal her delight with him. Why didn
’
t she just throw her arms around his neck, confess to
him everything she still felt—
everything
—
and be done with it
, consequences be hanged
?
But she
couldn’t—
not yet. Find the Dusty he could love first. Dig her out
,
and then offer that woman to him. It was the only chance she would have.

“
Well,
”
she said, unfastening her skirt
and letting it drop to her feet. A
fter all, he
’
d seen her many a time in just her petticoats. Besides, it was the only weapon against his shocking, flirtatious remarks she had.
“
You go on and do what y
a
gotta do. I always swim in my clothes.
”

“
Oh, I know it,
”
he said in a low, alluring voice, feigning disappointment. He sighed, retrieving his hat from the ground
. H
e put it on his head and picked up his boots in the other hand.
“
But…it
’
s a good thing you came along after my swim…
’
cause you know I don
’
t!
”
With a nod and a wink
,
he turned and sauntered away.

The water felt good, cool
,
and revitalizing. As
Dusty
waded and swam, she thought of Ryder. Something had changed. Even for his being gone for near to three weeks with the other men, only popping in during storms and on other rare occasions, she
’d somehow
managed to
keep
the doors she
’
d opened where people, especially Ryder, were concerned. He hadn
’
t acted strangely toward her because of their moments together on the Fourth.
Rather, he had confided in her—a
deep and painful secret.
T
he water was soothing, as was the long nap Dusty took under the willow. She intentionally la
y
down just where Ryder had lain. It gave her a sense of being close to him.

Sh
e was refreshed when she awoke—
strangely alive and refreshed as she walked back to the house.



Dusty was astonished when she entered the parlor to find Ryder sitting in the rocking chair with Makenna
on one knee, Jakie on the other. He was reading a book to them as t
hey both lay with their heads
resting
contentedly against his chest. As always, Jakie had his two middle fingers in his mouth, and Makenna nuzzled Ryder
’
s chin with the top of her head.

“
What
’
s goin
’
on?
”
Dusty asked, perplexed.
“
Is
Alice
here?
”

“
Dusty! There is mercy in the world! I thought you
’
d never get back!
”
Ryder exclaimed.
An expression of profound relief spread over his face.
Standing up, he set both of the children down snugly in the rocking chair. Handing Makenna the book, he told her,
“
Now, you show Jakie the drawin
’
s, y
a
hear?
”
The little girl nodded and smiled as he bent and kissed her affectionately on the forehead.