Dust (25 page)

Matty glanced up with a smile. “Thank you for the spaghetti, Tanner Niles.”

“Yeah,” Davy added. “These are really cool.”

Tanner had brought a case of M.R.E.’s. Meals Ready to Eat. Stocked and used by the military, each thick eight-inch pouch contained a main course, a snack, desert, gum, matches, coffee, and other things. Tanner presented the case to Davy.

“Yours,” Tanner explained. “There are twenty four all together. I recommend that you open each pouch, separate and group the items. The adults control the main rations, you three control these. Store them in your room. Now, I don’t want you guys to live off of these things. OK? I want you to use them as a treat and maybe even down the road, a few of those items could be used to barter with adults.” He winked.

“I like these.” Matty said as her fingers moved the ten M & M’s allocated to her. “I vote we never share spaghetti.”

Rod sat watching, he chomped almost bitterly on his beef jerky. “Does anyone else think this is unfair?” he asked. “I would like spaghetti too. I feel ... I feel wounded.” He took another bite. “My God, what I wouldn’t give for one of those M & M’s.”

Surprising us all, Simon stood up, walked over to Rod and handed him an M & M. “Here.”

Rod gasped as the candy lay in his hand. “Look how sweet. Now I’m going to cry.”

I laughed.

Dan did not. He spoke up with objection, “Does anyone else see this as wrong? To me he’s pitting the children against us. Controlling them. Is that what you’re doing, Tanner Niles?”

Before Tanner or myself could say anything, Craig interjected, “How do you figure that?” he cross examined Dan. “There’s no malice here. He gave them MRE’s.”

“To barter.” Dan said. “You heard him. Barter with us. Really, he’s instilling in these kids that we can be bought with simple luxury food items. How ridiculous. What in the world could these kids try to bribe us for?”

“Silence.” Matty spoke up. “I’ll give you three M&M’s if you stop complaining for an hour. Starting now.”

“Matty.” I gasped out. “That’s ... ” Before the word ‘rude’ could slip out of my mouth, I watched Dan stand up and walk to Matty.

“Deal.” He held out his hand.

Tanner chuckled with a smirk. “Actually, I have an ulterior motive,” he said. “Nutrition. These things are packed with nutrition. Kids, they don’t need to eat as much as adults, but they need nutrients more than us. Right now, Davy, Matty and Simon, they’re going good. I just want to try to keep them that way.”

Rod joked, “And make them into little Nazis. Controlling us. Look how easy Dan was bought and sold. My God, who’s next?”

Dazed, Craig spoke. “Nicky.”

Rod shrugged. “Though I don’t see it, Nicky could ... ”

“No.” Craig stood up. “Nicky. What’s wrong?”

I turned and looked. Nicky had walked into the room. Her face was pale. It was evident that she was not only shaken, but also crying. “Nicky?” I questioned and stood up along with Rod and Tanner.

“Oh, my God. Oh, my God.” Nicky rambled. “I can’t ... ”

“Stop.” Craig approached her. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

Nicky shook her head.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Tammy.” Nicky wheezed out.

Rod stumbled back. “She’s dead.”

“Worse,” Nicky said.

“Worse than dead?” Rod questioned.

Nicky nodded, then her voice dropped to a frightened gravel. Her eyes shifted to each one of us as she spoke, “I saw her. I . . . saw her.” Head lowering, Nicky sobbed. “Someone has to do something.”

Craig tried to console, “Nicky, what happened.”

Nicky took a few breaths; they shivered through her. “I walked into the bathroom. I didn’t know she was there. She was getting dressed. I acted as if nothing was wrong. But I saw her. It was horrible.”

Raised, eyebrows, Rod gave me a look that all but said, ‘well’. He exhaled. “She was naked. That’s explains the horror.”

“Rod.” I said his name through clenched teeth. “That’s not what she meant.”

“Yes. Yes.” Nicky nodded fast. “She was naked. I saw it. I saw it.”

Rod covered his ears. “I don’t think I need to hear this.”

“Someone does.” Nicky burst out then raced to Tanner, and grabbed his shoulder. “Tanner,” she spoke in desperation. “Please. You have to see her arm.”

At first, I suppose I thought Nicky had gone into another phase of dementia. Choosing to ignore it, like Rod, I started to walk away until she said something about Tammy’s arm. She had my attention. She had everyone’s attention. Our curiosity piqued.

***

We all listened intently as Nicky described what she saw. Her revelation of Tammy alarmed us all, more so Tanner. He sought out Tammy. She had taken refuge in the small hall that held the staircase. At the closed door, we all pleaded, beckoning Tammy to open up. Not only did she resist, she was adamant about there being nothing wrong with her arm. Our attempts were disheartening, not to mention loud. The struggle came to an end when Burke had enough.

Awoken too early, he blasted out of the bedroom, and used a combination of every swear word he knew to ask what we were doing. After explaining to him the dilemma, he approached the door. Burke wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer.

“You got ten seconds!” Burke yelled. “If you don’t open the goddamn door within ten seconds I’m taking it down. You hear me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with me!”

“Then open the fuckin door and prove it.”

“I said ... ” The door opened slightly. “There’s nothing ... ”

Burke gave no opportunity to Tammy. Pushing his foot into the door, he edged it open, reached in and yanked Tammy out.

To say she had a violent reaction was putting it mildly. She flung about as her words jumbled together in her loud argument.

“I don’t care!” Burke screamed. “You will let us ... ” He took hold of her arm. “See this arm.”

Just as he took hold of her glove, Tammy created her own defeat. When she yanked back her arm, the glove stayed within Burke’s grip, and her hand was exposed.

We all froze.

If her hand was any indication of the rest of her arm, it was worst than we imagined. How did she let it get that bad? The fingers that poked through were not only swollen and peeling, they were black.

22. Delusion of Strength
 

Tammy didn’t want to come into the living room. After the exposure, she slammed the door. Blocking us out and blocking out anything we had to say.

“Gangrene.” Tanner explained as we sat and listened to what he had to say. “There’s no turning back the infection. None. The arm has to go.”

Craig questioned. “Has to go. You mean cut it off?”

“Yes.” Tanner nodded.

“How?” Craig asked.

“It would be a raw procedure at best.” Tanner said. “We have an ax ... ”

It was reactionary, but I cringed vocally. “You can’t do that. What? You’re just gonna chop it off.”

“Not me.” Tanner pointed to Burke. “Him. He’s got the strength to make a clean cut in one hard swing.”

Craig continued to ask questions. “Won’t he shatter the bone?”

“Hopefully not.” Tanner answered. “If he comes down hard and fast enough he won’t.”

Burke shook his head. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

“That’s fine.” Tanner nodded. “I can try to do it. But you’ll have to do my part, and do it fast. Part of that will involve touching her.”

“I handle the ax.” Burke said.

“Are you gonna take it off at the shoulder?” Craig asked further. “The black goes past her elbow?”

“No. Just to the bicep.” Tanner motioned on his own arm where he wanted to make the removal.

“What about infection?” Craig queried further. “Wouldn’t you want to take it further just ... ”

Burke’s hand slammed down on the table. “Enough. The man’s the doctor not you.”

Tanner lifted his hand. “That’s OK. I would like to take it off at the joint, but that presents blood control problems. So we chance it and take it off mid bicep. Plus, to be honest, there’s a good chance it won’t even make a difference.”

“So why do it?” Craig asked.

Calmly, Tanner responded, “So she doesn’t die. She will within two or three days if we don’t remove the arm.”

Dan who was silent, spoke up, “I say let her die. Don’t waste the time.”

Huffing out, I shot a hard glance Dan’s way. “You would. You would want to take the easy route out. No effort.”

“Jo.” Tanner interceded peacefully. “As callous as it sounds. He’s right. But her death poses a problem. We can’t have her die in the shelter. She’s already a health risk to us all as she is. Let me explain something. When a body gives way, so do all of its bodily functions. Tammy is a very ill woman. She dies; she’ll have to be removed. Not only will we risk radiation by taking her out, we have to clean up after her. Risk.”

Burke exhaled loudly and sat back. “Then there is no choice.”

Tammy’s “Bullshit!” rang in the room. “Bullshit. It’s my life. My arm.”

Rod tried to be the voice of reason. “If you don’t let them take the arm, you will die. Plain and simple.”

“Then I die.” Tammy said with edge.

“So you’re giving up?” Rod asked. “Not gonna fight?”

Tammy hesitated before answering. “No, I’m not gonna fight. And that’s my choice.” She began to walk away.

Burke stood up. “You’re right.”

Tammy stopped.

“You’re right.” Burke continued in a strangely calm manner. “You have a choice. Two choices. You lose the arm, or you leave this shelter.”

“You can’t order me out.”

“The hell I can’t.” Burke moved to her. His voice was stern yet in control. “You staying here with that arm like that is a risk. You dying here is a bigger risk. You wanna keep the arm, you wanna opt for death. Fine. I don’t give a shit. But if you go with that decision, then you go. Period. Pack your shit up and leave. I won’t have you die here. I won’t. There is no choice for me when it comes to everyone here. If you don’t go, I’ll take you out. Make your choice and make it now.”

Sometimes all it takes is a child.

In the silence of the room, filled with the tension of debate, Simon poked through. He walked directly to Tammy. “Please get better.” He lifted his little hand to her. “I’ll give you my candy.”

***

Tammy didn’t take Simon’s candy, but she made the decision to give up the limb that was delivering her death sentence. A surgical team was needed, and we were it. We all had our parts. Each one of us played an intricate role somehow. A supporting cast in a bizarre off Broadway production, and Tammy was the star.

To say it was less than barbaric would be a lie. The operating room was the garage. A tent was laid out the floor, and Tammy was stripped down. She wore only a sheet wrapped around her body. A tourniquet was placed at the top of Tammy’s bicep, while her arm was secured to a two by four—a cushion for Burke when he made his surgical sweep. An old cast iron frying pan was tossed in the fireplace. It glowed red-hot, while Dan stood by to grab it and run it in when Tanner yelled ‘now’. Rod and I were the support and comfort duo, positioned by Tammy’s head, ready to hold her down. Tanner—with only a few measly medical supplies—knelt at Tammy’s feet. Nicky had a dirty job, she volunteered for it and none of us argued. She held a bucket of water, which she was to use sparingly to wash away the abundance of blood. Craig was the support, on call in that garage to take over any position needed. Except Burke’s. Nobody wanted Burke’s job. Even if any of us had the strength to pull it off, we still would turn it down. I wondered as we prepared if it was a task Burke would regret for the rest of his life. Would he dream of it? Would it haunt him? Or, possibly, would he not even give it a second thought?