Dumping Billy (32 page)

Fun was not exactly the word Kate would use for coupling with Billy.

“I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you on the terrace,” he said.

Kate felt something within her tighten. They were the words she wanted to hear but didn’t dare believe. They were true for her, though she had not admitted it to herself and she certainly wouldn’t admit it to Billy. That way lay madness. She just smiled enigmatically and tried to put all thought out of her mind. That was easy to do, because no one had ever made love to her the way Billy did. She wasn’t surprised by his strength or his skill, but his tenderness took her aback. He cradled her head with both hands and held her face to his as he kissed her. He stroked her hair. “It’s so beautiful,” he murmured. “I love your hair.” He buried his face in it, just beside her ear. “I love how it smells and how it feels. I wanted to touch it, but I didn’t think I’d get the chance.”

Kate turned to him, and he put his mouth on hers. She couldn’t decide what she liked better, when he used his mouth to kiss her or when he used it to speak to her. His hands spoke to her as well. They moved miraculously from her breasts to her thighs and up again to her mouth, each time going further, becoming more probing, more intimate, and even more responsive to her.

Kate had always found the first few times she made love with someone to be a little awkward and unsatisfying. But with Billy it was different. He heard and registered every intake of her breath, the slightest movement of her hips or shifting of her body. She felt she could ask him for anything without speaking a word. But she didn’t have to ask. He was slow and practiced and skillful, but she also felt such a flood of feeling, such an exchange of emotion, that she lost herself. As they made love, Billy kept his mouth on hers, and it seemed as if he had a hundred variations of kissing, all of which were in sync with his movements and her own. He took his mouth off hers only when he paused to look at her or when he moved his mouth to her nipples and then lower.

He brought her to the brink with his hand and with his mouth and then moving against her and then again with his hand, until Kate was trembling all over. She almost couldn’t catch her breath, but the feeling was wonderful, not frightening. And when she put her hand on him, his gasp was so deep that she felt an almost greater pleasure in touching him than she felt when he moved on her body. She had no idea what time it was when he finally slipped inside her for the last time, and when both of them fell asleep, exhausted and satisfied, he kept his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her to him even as they slept.

Chapter Thirty-six

K
ate opened her eyes. She had one of those moments of waking dislocation. Where was she? It wasn’t her ceiling or Michael’s. Then she turned her head and saw Billy, still sleeping. The events of the previous day flooded back. Kate smiled and felt her cheeks flushing, but, uncharacteristically, she didn’t mind.

While they had slept her hair had fanned out, and now a red tendril was curled around Billy’s upper arm. Simply looking at his arm lying on the sheet, bathed in the sunshine that spread from the window across the upper part of the bed, made her feel . . . extremely happy. It was a feeling she wasn’t used to.

Kate stretched and luxuriated in the feeling. Happiness this deep was something you could not hold on to, and she was wise enough not to try. She only drank in the sunlight, the clean white sheets rumpled around them, and cherished the moment. She wasn’t thinking about the sex, though it had been exquisite. It was simply looking at Billy and experiencing the feeling of warmth, comfort, and protectiveness that staring at the hairs so perfectly aligned on his forearm seemed to give her. It was a moment of pure joy.

Slowly, so as not to wake him, she lifted her head to look at his sleeping face. Even without animation, his features had a beauty and liveliness that made her wonder. From their conversation the previous night, she felt Billy Nolan was not just another pretty face. After all, in his own way, Steven had been very handsome. But Billy seemed to have a depth of feeling, a sense of compassion and understanding, that had been blocked in Steven by his narcissism.

As if feeling himself observed, Billy opened his eyes. “Hello,” he said, his voice dipping somehow in the middle of the word, making it sound like a self-assured and very happy greeting. Kate felt herself blush again, and this time it did embarrass her. She fell back on her pillow. Billy raised himself on one elbow, bent over her, and kissed her. His kisses were so sensitive, so searching and gentle. That reminded her of the way they had made love, his lips almost never leaving her own—except when he was kissing some other part of her. He lifted his head.

“Good morning,” Kate said, and tucked the sheet in on either side of her.

“Now you’re my prisoner. Stuck in my bed for life.”

Kate thought that that sounded like a delicious idea, but she only smiled.

“What time is it?” Billy asked, then fell back and yawned.

Kate hadn’t a clue. At the moment, she couldn’t even remember what day it was, and that also felt delicious. Lying in his bed, she felt suspended in time. If she could have asked for one place and feeling to have for all eternity, this moment would be a good choice. Then she forced herself to turn and look at the clock on the bedside table. “Oh, God,” she gasped. “It’s Friday! And almost nine. I have to call the school,” she told him, and fell back onto the bedclothes in horror. She couldn’t go running out of his apartment, scuttling like a bug to gather up her belongings, because she was way too late to get to school. She
never
missed work two days in a row; even when she’d had the stomach virus that had torn through the school, she’d still managed to come in after one day off. The children had to be able to count on her. But it was the end of the term, a half-day, and she had her reports to write up and the summaries that would go to the administration and the children’s parents. She ought to be at school, going through her notes, but for once she was tempted to think of herself first. Dr. McKay, on the other hand, would have to be told, and he wouldn’t like it. She knew her contract was being considered for renewal right now, and it was not a time to screw up. Still, she couldn’t leave. Billy was looking at her, his eyebrows raised in question.

“My job,” she said. “I have to make a call.”

He picked up his phone and handed it to her. “Feel free,” he said. “As long as you don’t call another man, my minutes are yours.”

“He isn’t exactly a man, he’s a principal,” Kate told him.

“Well, I’m glad you’ve got at least one principle,” he said, and kissed her again as she was punching in the Andrew number. “When you arrived I wasn’t sure.” She made a face and pushed him away. He lay down, holding a curl of her hair between his fingers and playing with it.

When Vera, Dr. McKay’s secretary, answered the phone, Kate was relieved. She asked for Dr. McKay but hoped he might not be available so that she could just leave a message.

Unfortunately, Vera put her right through. Kate heard the principal’s nasal voice at the other end of the phone. “McKay,” he said. “Yes?”

“This is Kate Jameson. I’m very sorry, but I won’t be able to come in again today.” There was a pause at the other end. It was amazing how powerful silence could be. She wanted to fill it, to blurt out excuses, but didn’t let herself.

“Are you still ill?” Dr. McKay finally asked.

“No,” she said, “but I have a personal emergency.” She looked over at Billy, under the sheet and clearly aroused. “Something’s just come up.” Billy gave her a look. Kate would have smiled, but she felt McKay’s silent curiosity move like a snake through the telephone lines. Stalwart, she kept silent on her end. She watched Billy, who picked up the ends of her hair and held them to his mouth in a kiss.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Dr. McKay intoned, and Kate thought he sounded sorry about it, although she wasn’t sure why.

“Because it’s half a day, I’ll be able to catch up easily. Most of my reports on the children are done.”

They discussed scheduling for a few moments, and then Kate was able to hang up. She gave a sigh of relief, and Billy grinned at her. “Playing hookey?” he asked. She nodded. “I’d like to play something else as well,” he said. “And if you don’t agree, I’m afraid I’ll have to call the truant officer and report you.”

Kate giggled. “I’m not in school anymore,” she said.

“Oh, we’ll see about that,” Billy told her.

She supposed if she thought about it, she’d get crazy. After all, here was a man who had slept with half the women in Brooklyn, including her best friend. The idea did make her a bit queasy, so, like some of her young patients, she compartmentalized. She simply put that thought in a mental box, which she closed tightly and put aside. It wasn’t possible that Billy Nolan could fake all of these feelings, or could he? His vast experience showed in the skill he displayed when they made love. Every touch, every movement, felt wonderful, perfect almost. If it got any better, it would be frightening. As it was, it was spooky. He seemed to know almost before she did where to put his hands, how hard to press, where to put his mouth, when to be playful, and when to be intense. If she compared his lovemaking to Michael’s, which she was trying with little success not to do, she felt as if Michael were only a sandwich while Billy was a Thanksgiving feast.

The two of them spent the morning making love. Then Billy made breakfast. He was a good cook, and Kate was hungry. She looked around the sunny living room. “This is a really nice place,” she said as she finished the last of her bacon.

Billy laughed. “You sound surprised,” he said.

Kate blushed. “Have you lived here long?” she asked.

“My dad moved in when he got sick. Emphysema. He didn’t like being alone in our old house after my mom died. He couldn’t work as a fireman anymore, so he began working full-time in the bar, and I helped him turn this into an apartment.”

“So you can cook and do carpentry?” Kate asked as she brought the dirty dishes to the sink.

“Yeah,” he said. He paused and looked away from her. “It was fun to work with my dad, but we barely got the place finished before he died.”

“Was it from the emphysema?” Kate asked.

Billy nodded and grimaced. “Well, complications thereof. It’s a terrible way to die. Terrible to watch.”

“I’m sorry,” Kate said.

Billy shrugged and began to scrape a plate. “You shouldn’t be a fireman and smoke,” he said.

“My father was a policeman who drank, and you shouldn’t do that, either,” Kate said.

Billy nodded, filled the sink with hot water, and put the dishes in to soak. He looked around. “Anyway, I liked this apartment, and when I took over the bar, it seemed handy to live here. This place still reminds me of him.” He turned back to the sink and added some dish detergent. Then he wiped his hands on a paper towel and turned back to her. “Funny thing,” he said. “We just had breakfast, but I’m hungry again.” He raised his brows suggestively, put his arms around her waist, and nuzzled her neck. Kate felt herself responding to the pressure behind her, and with his arms still around her waist, they went back to bed.

It was after their encore, when Billy had gone off to shower, that Kate’s cell phone began to ring. She saw that it was Bina and picked it up.

“Katie? Katie?”

“Yes, of course it’s me,” Kate said.

“Omigod, Katie! He proposed. Just like Elliot said. I couldn’t believe it, but Jack proposed.”

Kate was flooded with a kind of horror as she remembered—for the first time since she had gotten to Billy’s place—that she had originally come to facilitate Bina’s long delayed engagement. Was she a selfish or selfless friend?

“That’s great! That’s really, really great!”

“And you won’t believe this,” Bina continued. “This is how I know Elliot was right. You won’t believe it.”

“Try me,” Kate said dryly, knowing what was coming. Just then her phone starting beeping for a call waiting. She glanced at the caller ID and didn’t recognize the number, so she let it go to voice mail.

“Well, I had a message from Billy breaking up with me—just in time! Jack asked me to marry him right after I checked my voice mail and got Billy’s message!”

“Congratulations. Or best wishes. Or
mazel tov,
” Kate said. “Your mother must be thrilled, and your father. And me. I’m thrilled for you.”

“I’m thrilled, too. And the best part is that he apologized for what happened, you know, about him not, well, you know. He said he just panicked. He got frightened and couldn’t get the words out.” She paused. “Do you think that’s true?”

“I’m sure that was part of it,” Kate said, remembering his request for exploration. It seemed Bina hadn’t forgotten it, either.

“And he said he wanted just a little more time to, well, you know . . . we’ve been going out so long, and he’s never cheated on me, and he just wanted to be sure. I don’t blame him for that. Would you?”

“No.”

“Yeah, but . . .” Bina paused, then lowered her voice. “But I can’t forget what happened. You know, about . . . well, you can’t imagine how fantastic it was with—”

“I think I can,” Kate said as she glanced toward the bathroom. “Look, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you tonight.”

Kate had just stepped out of the shower herself when her cell phone rang again. She looked at the caller ID and knew she was in trouble. She thought for a moment that she would just ignore it, but she knew Elliot would never give up.

“Where are you?” he asked without any preamble. “You’re not here at work and you’re not at home. You’re out, so you’re not sick. Unless you’re at the doctor’s. Are you at the doctor’s?”

“No,” Kate said. “And I can’t talk right now.” She was self-conscious. She felt Billy listening, even though she wasn’t sure that he was.

“Okay, so where are you?”

“I’ll tell you later,” Kate said, lowering her voice.

“What?”

“I’ll tell you later.”

“Oh, God. You’re in bed with Steven.”

“Not exactly,” Kate said.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Elliot asked. “Oh, I knew it. This is really terrible. So you are with Steven.”