DuckStar / Cyberfarm (4 page)

Putting on a Show

Duck held an urgent barn meeting.

‘We have a problem,' Duck announced. ‘None of us want to be replaced by a robot! Why don't we put on a REAL show, with REAL animals, for the visitors?'

‘Visitors are hard work,' said Goat.

‘They make rude comments about how much you eat,' said Pig.

‘They ask, “Which flavour milk comes out of that cow, Mum? Ha. Ha. Ha”,' said Cow. ‘Not funny.'

‘I like it when they clap,' said Goat. ‘I want them to clap more often.'

Goat started to show off his dancing steps to the others. After he'd kicked Horse, Sheep and Cow twice by accident, Parrot suggested that Goat stop dancing for now.

Goat went red. ‘So sorry.'

‘What will you do?' Sheep asked Duck.

‘I'll be the director,' said Duck.

‘What does a director do?' asked Goat.

‘A director listens to everybody's suggestions and decides what goes into the show,' explained Duck.

‘That's good, I've got plenty to say,' said Parrot.' What about...'

‘Ssshhh,' said Duck,' I'm still talking.'

‘We've off to a good start,' chuckled Horse.

‘The director decides who goes on first and who goes on last,' said Duck.

‘Do you decide who goes on in the middle?' asked Sheep.'

‘Of course,' quacked Duck. 'I'm the Director.'

‘Sounds like you decide everything,' said Parrot. ‘Is that fair?'

All the animals looked at Duck and Duck looked at all the animals. He knew he had to say something important.

‘I'm very happy not to be in the show and I'll make sure you look your best. But I would like to be called The Director,' announced Duck.

‘Give Duck a go,' said Goat.

Everyone agreed.

‘Just for now,' added Pig.

‘Should we tell Cate?' asked Horse. ‘ Or give her a nice surprise?'

‘Keep it a surprise,' said Sheep.

‘Everyone is to have a turn,' said Horse. ‘Nobody is to hide in the straw.'

Just then there was a familiar sound. Rattling buckets.

‘Cate's coming!' warned Parrot. ‘Head back to your pens.'

‘Oh, there you are, Duck,' said Cate. ‘Come and sit on my lap.'

Cate plonked herself down by the fire. ‘Tomorrow will be a busy day. Invasion of the technos starts.'

Invasion of the Technos

Bang! Crash! Wow! The cybertechs moved in. They put cords and plugs together. Leads ran everywhere. Flashing lights. Helmets.

‘How are the SFX inside the helmets?' called a techno.

‘What's SFX?' asked Sheep.

‘Sound Effects,' explained Parrot.

‘I can make noise. I don't need plugging in!' said Sheep crossly. ‘Baaa Baaa Baaa.'

Cate explained. ‘They're trialling cybergames. Kids watch what happens when they feed cyber animals. They'll play interactive games like “Smell the Food Inside Pig”. We'll be a Fun Park.'

‘Why me?' said Pig.

‘What's wrong with us the way we are?' said Goat. ‘We're real. We're fun. We play games.'

‘We can play mud slides in the real mud.'

‘Splash-land in the puddles in the farmyard.'

‘Maybe the visitors will miss us,' said Duck thoughtfully. ‘We can be patted. We smell. We're real. We talk back. We don't need power points.'

Just then, a caretaker robot walked across the yard. Its rainbow overalls looked a bit like Cate's.

The Technos were following.

‘Hey, what's that?' called Parrot.

‘Robot-me,' said Cate, unhappily.

‘Would the duck like to try on a helmet?' asked one of the technos. ‘We need to try out the range.'

Duck with a cyberhelmet looked seriously different.

Inside the helmet, Duck's world changed. The SFX were loud.

Things moved.

Just then, something went wrong.

Twaaaaang!

The technos looked very unhappy. ‘Take it off, Duck.' They checked the leads.

‘Not enough power points in the barn,' said a techno. ‘We'll return with an electrician.'

‘Bye,' said Cate.

‘No cybercrackers,' said Parrot.

Duck was very worried. If the cyberfarm took over, where would the animals go?

That helmet was VERY different.

To Direct or Not To Direct?

After the Technos had gone, Duck helped Cate serve the farm dinners. Pig invited Duck to stay for a chat.

‘I have news for you, Duck. I'm going to be in the show.'

‘Why?' enquired Duck.

‘No cyberpig could be as farm-smelly as me. I overheard a child talking to its mother. The child said, “I like the pig best.”'

‘I see,' said Duck.

Pig sat up. ‘I'll choose what I want to do.'

‘Of course.' Best not to argue with Pig.

‘Rolling in the mud is fine, but maybe a tallented pig like me can do more.'

The other animals joined them.

‘So what will you do in the show, Pig?' asked Goat.

‘I might dance,' said Pig.

‘What sort of dance?' Horse liked details.

‘Belly dancing,' said Pig quickly.

‘Are you a ballet dancer?' asked Sheep.

Pig shook his head. ‘No, belly dancers wave veils.'

‘You could use Cate's scarf,' said Duck. ‘Parrot, could you go and get it from the rocking chair?'

Parrot soon returned with a long, multi-coloured, see-through scarf. There was more Pig than there was scarf.

‘Belly dancing is a very old art. It comes from the Middle East,' quacked Duck. ‘Usually girls do it.'

‘I shall be the first male belly dancing pig in the history of the world!'

‘Oh. BELLY dancing,' said Sheep. ‘That's a relief. I thought we'd have to find one of those pink frilly things… a big one.'

‘I could direct Pig,' sais Duck.

‘I'll do it my way,' said Pig.

Pig's belly wobbled and he flapped the scarf.

‘Dancers need drums,' suggested Parrot.

Duck had an idea. ‘Cate's buckets. Goat could bang them with his feet.'

‘Great!' said a delighted Goat.

Goat's new career began. The trouble was that Cate needed her buckets at feeding time. So the drums could only be played between meals.

‘I've seen pictures of belly dancers. They wear veils and jewellery,' said Horse.

‘Pig jewellery?' said Duck thoughtfully. ‘Sparkly stuff?'

Horse made a necklace and earrings of sticky lolly papers for Pig. Pig looked good - from a distance.

Goat's drumming got faster and faster.

Pig's dancing was memorable. He moved all his body to the drums. He went faster and faster. His body moved in the shape of a number eight. He wiggled. He spun. He twirled. At last he fell down puffing in the mud. Cate's scarf was across his tummy, all muddy. And one earring had fallen into the mud.

‘Fabulous!' puffed Pig. ‘And muddy.'

Duck grinned. ‘You've heard of a mud cake?' he said. ‘Pig could do a mud dance. Let's write that on the program for the show.'

Goat brushed the mud off Cate's scarf. ‘Great. Before or after my dance?'

‘I'm in the show too,' reminded Sheep, picking up the earring.

Duck knew it would be best not to start the show with Goat or Sheep, but he couldn't say that. Goat and Sheep would be hurt. It was hard to make a great show without hurting feelings. A plan was needed.

‘There's a board in Cate's office,' said Parrot. ‘Let's borrow it.'

‘Thanks. Then we'll know what we are doing,' Duck added. ‘Is that okay?' He wanted them to feel that it was everybody's show.

‘Okay,' said the animals.

‘Perhaps Parrot can be in charge of props?' said Duck as they all walked towards the barn.

‘I'm good at finding things,' agreed Parrot. ‘And talking about them.'

‘What will we call our show?' asked Duck, trying to be fair.

‘I thought it was called “The Show” said Sheep.

So Duck wrote “THE SHOW” in his best writing.

‘Parrot, would you like to open the show with perch gymnastics, Russian style?' asked Duck. Parrot looked pleased. Duck continued, ‘I'll talk about the fashion parade when Sheep models his wool. Are you happy with that, Sheep?'

Sheep nodded. ‘I told you. I have been in a Parade before and if I model, I won't have to sing.'

Everybody agreed that this was a good idea.

So Duck carefully wrote a list on the board.

‘And then we'll need a finale,' said Duck.

Everyone looked up. ‘The Feral! Over there!'

Only the bushes moved. The Feral had gone.

‘Why does the Feral come?' Duck shivered.

‘To eat at the farm.'

‘It used to live on the farm a long time ago.'

‘What does it eat?' Duck hoped duck wouldn't be mentioned.

‘Slow chickens,' said Horse.

‘And us,' said Parrot. ‘Unless we act quickly.'