Duchess of Sin (40 page)

Conlan watched Anna closely. “I am not entirely certain Lady Anna would welcome me there.”

“Are you not?” Katherine glanced between them, her eyes narrowed. “Well, perhaps the two of you would like to walk in the
garden for a bit. The sun is out at last, and I’m sure a bit of exercise would do Anna some good.”

Before Anna knew what was happening, she found herself wrapped in her cloak and pushed out the doors into the little garden
with Conlan. The icy rain had frozen on the tree branches and shrubbery, and that rare winter sunlight turned them to sparkling
cut glass. Shards of it lay over the pathways, crunching under her shoes.

She broke off one of the diamond-like leaves and twirled it between her fingers. She still felt shy with him. “I suppose here,
at least, we need have no fear of being shot at or stabbed.”

“Just spied on?”

Anna glanced back at the drawing room windows and saw one of the satin draperies twitch. “Oh, Mama is quite used to male callers
by now. Lord Hartley came seeking Caroline’s hand this morning.”

“Did he now?”

“Yes.” She held up the leaf to study its crystalline facets. “Why have we not seen you here earlier, Your Grace?”

He reached out to take the leaf, his strong, rough, warm fingers closing over hers. “I thought you might not want to see me.
Not yet.”

She stared up at him in astonishment. How could he think such a thing? She had contemplated nothing but him for days, going
over every moment they spent together, every word said between them, every kiss and caress. “Why would you think that?”

“You said it yourself—whenever we’re together there is a shooting or a stabbing. You and your sister were kidnapped because
of me.”

“Not because of you!” she protested. “Because of cruel, greedy men who hate you and what you stand for. You can go on with
your work, and I want to help you.”

Conlan gave a humorless laugh. “You think they are the only ones who hate me? Anna, I will always have enemies. There will
always be men who, as you say, hate what I stand for. Who I am.”

“All the more reason why you need someone to stand with you.”

“Anna.” Conlan caught her face in his hands, his thumbs gently tracing the curve of her lips, holding her close. She swayed
into him. How she had missed being close to him, just like this. “There is nothing I want more than to be with you. But I
also want you to be safe and happy. To have all that you deserve in life.”

Anna gathered up all her courage to finally say what was in her heart. “I was never truly happy until I found
you.
You see me for who I am, who I want to be, and not just a silly, pretty ornament. You are strong and brave, and you make
me want to be those things, too. You make me see a purpose in life—to help the people of Ireland, to be
one of them. I love you, Conlan, and I know I could make you love me, too, if you would just let me. Please, let me show you
how strong I can be.”

“Oh, my beautiful
cailleach,
” he said. His voice was heavily accented, as if he tried to keep from laughing or crying. He pulled her closer until there
was nothing between them, nothing to hold them apart. “You don’t have to make me do anything. I love you with everything I
am. That’s why I tried to stay away, though obviously I couldn’t.”

Anna looped her arms around his neck. If he tried to leave her now, she would just have to hold on tighter and tighter. “What
do you mean? Why would you leave me if you loved me?”

“You’ve been raised to an easy, glittering life,” he said. “One with a man like my cousin. Adair Court is not an easy demesne.”

“And you would be no easy husband, Conlan McTeer,” she said with a laugh. “But my mother taught me well how to run an estate,
how to help people. I will never be called Angel as she is, but I can do the work. I want a husband who will be my partner,
who will let me work with him and will see me as myself. As I see you, my fierce Celtic warrior.”

Conlan laughed and bent his head to kiss her. She parted her lips under his, welcoming him eagerly. He tasted of mint and
tea and cold winter wind—he tasted of the future, and of home and life.

“Ah, Anna my girl,” he said as he rested his forehead against hers. “I see I shall have to seize you before you think better
of this bargain.”

“I never shall. You’re everything I ever wanted, Conlan.”

“Then there is just one more thing to say.”

“What is that?”

“Lady Anna Blacknall, will you marry me and be my duchess?”

Anna closed her eyes and held those words close to her heart. Their Graces the Duke and Duchess of Adair, the most loving
couple in all of Ireland. “Yes. I most certainly will.”

Adair Court, August 1800

W
here is he? He should be home by now!” Anna stood on the front steps of Adair Court, peering along the sweep of the drive
as if she could will her husband’s carriage to appear there. But there was nothing at all, just the hot summer sun beating
down on the lush green fields.

The child in her womb kicked hard, as if it could sense her worries. She pressed her hand to the swell of her belly and felt
the imprint of a tiny foot on her palm. She wasn’t the only one anxious for Conlan to come home.

“Soon, little one,” she whispered. “Your father will be home very soon.”

Conlan had been in Dublin for weeks now, ever since word came of the Act of Parliament in London last month. That meant a
vote for the Union in the Dublin Parliament was imminent, and Conlan had gone to Dublin to join his anti-Union allies in a
final push to stop it. Anna couldn’t
go, as she had grown so slow and ungainly with the baby, so tired in the summer’s heat, and so she was forced to stay home
and do what she most hated—wait.

Aside from hasty messages saying he was safe, she had heard nothing more for weeks. Until yesterday, when word came that the
vote for Union had passed amid protests and violent riots. There were deaths and arrests, and news was maddeningly slow to
reach Adair Court.

“You should come in the house, Your Grace,” she heard Mrs. McEgan say behind her. “It’s much too hot for you to be standing
about outside.”

Anna glanced over her shoulder to smile at the woman who stood in the doorway. Mary McEgan had been very kind to come and
sit with Anna every afternoon, to talk to her and distract her, even though she worried for her own husband. Mr. McEgan had
gone to Dublin with Conlan, along with several other men of the Adair estate. Anna and Mary worked on plans for the new girls’
school at Adair Court, sewed baby clothes, played card games—and sat and waited.

“I’m not tired, Mary,” Anna said.

“Maybe not, but I would wager the wee one is, Your Grace! Come sit down and have some lemonade. They probably won’t be home
today, and if they are, we’ll hear their arrival just as well from the sitting room.”

Anna glanced once more down the empty drive and nodded. She didn’t have just herself to think about now; there was the baby.
The future of Adair Court, and all of Ireland, no matter what happened in Dublin.

She went back into the house and shut the door against the bright day. “If they were hurt or locked up in
Kilmainham Gaol, we would have heard by now,” she said.

Mary nodded. “Of course we would have. I’m sure they’re on their way home now.”

They went back upstairs to Anna’s own little sitting room, a cool, pretty chamber decorated in shades of rose and cream, that
looked out over the drive and the fields and road beyond. When Conlan arrived she would be able to see it from her window.

Little Molly McEgan played with her dolls on the carpet under the gaze of Anna’s sisters from their portraits on the wall.
Listening to Molly’s sweet, girlish murmurs and being surrounded by her familiar piles of books, estate ledgers, and pictures
helped Anna feel a bit calmer. But she still kept a close watch out the window.

“Perhaps you could read the letter again, Your Grace,” Mary suggested as she poured out glasses of lemonade from the refreshment
tray. “That always makes you smile.”

Anna laughed as she took the well-worn letter from her sewing basket. She kept them all in there where she could bring them
out whenever she needed a bit of comfort. “I have memorized it entirely! I don’t really need to read it any longer.”

She balanced the precious missive carefully in her hands. The thick packet was worn soft from reading, but she kept it close.
It was three letters in one, from her mother and both her sisters in Lausanne. The pages were filled with wonderful accounts
of their life in the pretty, lakeside town, news of Eliza’s new son and Caroline’s studies and her future wedding plans with
Lord Hartley.

After the two weddings at Killinan last winter—Anna’s
grand affair filled with tiaras, lace, and roses, and Katherine’s small family-only ceremony—there had been weeks of celebrations
and family parties. Then Katherine, now Madame Courtois, and her new husband departed to join Eliza and Will in Switzerland
for a long honeymoon, taking Caroline with them to give her time to consider carefully the match with Hartley. Killinan was
left in Anna’s care.

They would probably still be there for months to come, and Anna missed them terribly. But the letters brought them close to
her, and they were always in her heart.

“I want to hear about Switzerland again!” Molly said eagerly. “About the ice skating. It sounds like so much fun.”

Anna laughed. “I am sure they can’t be ice skating in August, even in Switzerland!” She pulled out an older letter from the
winter and re-read it for Molly and Rose, distracting them all with tales of snow and ice, sledding and skating, until the
sun began to set outside.

“I should probably be getting home to see about Mother’s dinner,” Mary said. “And you need to eat, too, Your Grace. You need
to keep your strength up for the baby. I’m sure the men will return tomorrow.”

“Yes, I know you’re right, Rose. I fear we’re going to need all our strength very soon,” Anna said, thinking of the impending
Union and all it would mean for their country. “Won’t you and Molly come back…”

Suddenly, she heard a clamor from outside. She pushed herself from the chair and hurried to the window, with Molly and Mary
close behind her. From along the drive came a sight she had been praying to see for days—Conlan coming home.

And he was not alone. It looked as if the entire estate accompanied him in a triumphal parade. Tenants walked alongside the
carriage bearing torches, while some of them had even unhitched the horses from their traces and drew the vehicle themselves.

Anna pushed the window open to hear the crowd singing the old Irish song
The Cliffs of Doneen
. She felt the sting of tears in her eyes, and her heart pounded with pride for her husband and her country. Even now, with
the last illusion of Irish freedom gone, they were all united. They would not give up.

As the carriage drew to a halt at the front steps of the castle, Anna turned and hurried from the room and down the stairs.
As she pulled open the door, the baby stirred again as if to join in the excitement.

Amid the singing and cheers, Conlan climbed down from the carriage. He looked tired, his eyes circled in purple shadows, but
he was unbowed. He looked up at her, smiling but somber. He would go on fighting, and so would she. They were truly as one
now, dedicated to each other, their family, and their people.

Anna ran down the steps and into his welcoming arms. He held her very close. “You’re home at last,” she cried.

“Home at last,” he answered. He kissed her forehead, her lips. They were together again at last. “But I come in defeat. The
final vote for the Union has passed.”

Anna shook her head and gestured toward the crowd behind them, still singing and cheering, welcoming their chieftain home.
“
They
do not see it as defeat, Conlan! They see that you fought for them, that you will always fight for them.
We
will fight for them.”

Conlan laughed and kissed her again. “My fierce
cailleach.
”

“I
am
fierce, because you have shown me how to be,” she answered. “Together, here, we can do anything.”

“Anna,” he said. “
Is tu mo ghra.
”
I love you.

“
Is tu mo ghra,
” she whispered. “Always.”