Dry Your Smile (15 page)

So this year we couldn't have the cast party until now and nobody could swim in the pool which was alright with me because I don't know how to swim anyway and you never know you could drown like Ophelia did.

But there still was water in the pool because Miss Clement likes to swim for her constitution (looked it up!) which means not the Declaration of Independence, diary, but her health, and so she swam right into early October when it was warm and the pool still hadn't been drained out yet. Miss Clement is a magnificent (looked it up) actress and it's no wonder she's famous and has been on the stage on Broadway and in London too because she sort of acts all the time even out there at her country house where she says she “lets her hair down.” (Not really, diary, she keeps it pinned in a bun on top of her head like always, that's a saying that means she doesn't have to act at the country house, but I think she does at least when anybody else is there I bet even all the husbands.) So Miss Clement stood there in her hostess gown and when Mr. Pierce had so much booze he fell into the pool she wasn't even worried about Ophelia (he can swim) but just stood there with her right hand up to her throat and her big blue eyes open very wide and sort of sang out (Miss Clement can carry a tune and has perfect pitch and used to sing with Noel Coward who was very famous and is old now and maybe dead) anyway she sort of sang out “
Sid
ney! I am ap
pall
ed!” But everybody laughed and he climbed out and Rose (that's Miss Clement's maid who is a Negro lady) got a big towel for him and then he even had another drink.

Ricky played pool (not the water kind but a game with sticks and balls on a table) all day inside with Abe who is our assistant (spell? No, l.i.u!) director and who I love. He always calls me Hey Kid or Trooper or just Julian but never The Baby because he says that years don't count and I'm the oldest one on the set. Which is very nice because I get tired of always being the youngest everywhere. Miss Luchino sat in a deck chair by the pool and kept shouting inside to Ricky that if he was losing his next week's salary he could go to hell before she'd plead for him again with Darlene. (Darlene is Miss Unger's first name but
nobody
not even Mr. Pierce calls her that except only Miss Luchino and Miss Clement and the men from The Sponsors when they visit the control room on Show Day.)

Everybody was having a good time and Momma sat off to one side like she's always careful to do because you don't want anyone to think you're one of those awful stage mothers like other kids in the business have. She drank lots of coffee and talked with Betty who's our script-girl lady and Helga who's the wardrobe lady. Helga comes from Hungary and got out before the communists (l.i.u!) came, by the skin of her teeth she says. And Momma even said I could go for a walk along the forest path all by myself (Miss Clement told her it was “perfectly safe” and not to be “overprotective” (l.i.u.) so what else could Momma do but let me go. I whispered to her that I'd wear my sweater and my muffler and only go a little way and come right back, and I'd gone that path a year ago together on a walk with Momma at the last party so she knew it really was okay and not in woods or anything jungley (?) but just a sort of field with trees back of the house and the pool.

And so diary I had a whole walk in the country all by myself! It was
magnificent
. I saw a skunk! (But I didn't scare it I stood perfectly still until it went away so it didn't put out its smell.) I saw a brown rabbit for just a minute. I wanted to pick a flower but I didn't because you never know there could be poison ivy or something and then I'd get us all into trouble again. So I stuck to the path and looked up at the red and yellow leaves, and when I squeezed my eyes almost shut the sun made sparkles (l.i.u.) like the air was a green color. There were lots of birds but you couldn't see them, only hear them. I stood like a statue and didn't move a muscle like you have to do when being fitted for a costume or if you're posing for a picture where they use a long exposure. But here I stood still just because I didn't want to scare off the birds or the forest or anything. I pretended to myself I was part of the forest, a tree or a wild creature (l.i.u.) just being there. It felt real and I loved doing it. And except for the birds singing and the leaves sort of Shhhing when they fell in the green color air it was so
quiet
, as quiet as the library. Even if Mr. Pierce does despair of me because he says I'm such a hopeless city child (he grew up in Montana which is mostly not cities) Momma always tells him not to worry about me I'm doing just fine and as usual Momma is right because I sure was doing fine all by myself on my first walk alone through the country.

So I kept to the path and remembered my promise to Momma and turned around after a while and came back. Well, to tell the truth, diary, I would have gone on a little more, but I saw something funny through the trees up ahead and I knew better than to butt in. Pietro was there. He is our makeup man who fixed my scratch remember? He really grew up in Brooklyn but is called Pietro instead of Pete because it fits a makeup man better and besides he lived in Rome for three whole years. He is nice and very funny and makes me laugh and calls me his little Garbo. (She is a famous actress who doesn't talk too much, not like me!, in fact she hardly talks at all but is very famous and not dead yet). Pietro was there up ahead through the trees with Lee, who is Miss Clement's house-boy which means he takes care of her house like Rose takes care of her. I like Lee (who isn't a boy but old, about 25 or even more and who always sneaks me Cokes) and of course I really like Pietro a lot and I was going to run up and say Hi to them but I didn't. It was funny. Not funny ha ha but funny strange. Pietro was on his knees in front of Lee and Lee's pants were down around his ankles even his underpants. You could see Lee's bare bottom white in the sun against the brown tree stems or whatever they're called. Lee's head was sort of thrown back and he made sounds like he was in pain. So then right away I knew Lee had been bitten by a snake or some other poisonous thing and Pietro was trying to save his life by sucking out the venom (l.i.u.) like they tell you in first aid books and on TV. I knew Pietro would be very brave about saving somebody's life because he is gentle and tall and handsome. But I hoped he would remember you had to spit out the poison and not swallow any or you could die after you saved the other person.

Anyway, I knew better than to butt in. Besides if there were snakes in that part of the woods I sure didn't want them to bite me and they might too because I am shorter than Pietro and nearer to the ground. When Momma and I play tickle she sometimes acts like a giant and she says in a loud voice “Ho! Tender baby flesh! Yum yum!” and of course I know Momma is just playing so I laugh but I sure didn't want the snakes to think I was tender baby flesh because the snakes would not be playing. Also I didn't know if a person could suck out the poison from two people one right after the other or die themselves and so Pietro might not be able to save me if I did get bitten and then what would I do? I might die of snake poison or ruin the cast party and get Momma and me into trouble again.

So I just turned around very very quiet like in the library and pretended I was an Indian walking through the woods in my moccasins (l.i.u.) without cracking a twig. And I made it all the way back to the house and the pool without a sound.

It was a magnificent walk and Momma said she was proud of me. But when I whispered to her about the snake bite and maybe we should tell the others and call for the ambulance because Pietro might not have got out all the poison you never know Momma said very fast No and not to mention it to anybody that she would take care of it and I should forget I'd ever seen Pietro and Lee in the woods at all. I tried to explain to her how important it was but then I'm trying to get back at least to
near
Perfect on the chart so I stopped because one of the things on the chart list is Not to Argue. So that was that.

Momma was right as always and I should have known better. Because sure enough a little while later Lee and Pietro came up to the pool but not together and since people were coming and going in and out of the house nobody even asked where they'd been or wondered if they'd been dead or alive (which Lee almost was, dead I mean, if Pietro hadn't saved him). Lee didn't mention the snake bite and he looked okay. Pietro didn't mention it either, and I knew that was because Pietro would never brag and I guess he made Lee not tell everybody how brave Pietro had been too. I think Pietro is a good man. He took me to a ballet once on a Saturday afternoon because he knows a lot of the dancers.

Anyway so that's the big news. And Momma and me went back early by train even though we had drove out in one of the cars along with Helga and Betty. But the grownups were staying later and I felt sorry that Momma couldn't stay with them because after all she is a grownup even if she is my Momma. But I had to be got back home early and somebody had to take me and so of course it was poor Momma. She said she didn't mind a bit and she would rather be with me than anybody in the whole world anyway.

We had a nice long train ride which I love because Momma reads the newspaper or a magazine and I can just look out the window at things going by and think. You can't think very much at home because there's always homework or the script or something to do or else you should be sleeping your beauty sleep. But there's not much you can do on a train because it bounces too much to write your homework clearly. You can always be running your lines over in your head to save time but sometimes you can just stop and think a little. So I looked out the window and thought a little and then I guess I fell asleep because I woke up with my head on the windowsill which was all dirty and Momma said I was a filthy-faced muffin and what was she going to do with me? But I knew she wasn't mad or anything, so I didn't complain when she took out a hankie and spit on it and rubbed my face clean. I always hate hate hate when somebody even Momma does this to me and I wish they'd at least let me spit my own spit on the hankie if there has to be spit on the hankie at all when there's no water around. That way I would be smelling my own spit on my face while it dries instead of somebody else's spit at least. But I was too sleepy to care much so then we got home and went to sleep.

That was the only big news which is not very big unless you think Pietro saving Lee's life and being too much of a hero to tell anybody is big news. Which I do. But Momma says we'll keep Pietro's secret, just her and me and not tell a soul.

So I only told you, diary, because you're not a soul.

I love you diary.

Julian the country kid

Dear Diary,

You are a soul, I guess. I have to be careful what I write in you. Momma was checking for my spelling mistakes even though I told her that I promise to look up any hard words myself to save her from having to correct them. Momma says I haven't got the hang of writing in you yet and if I don't get it soon she will hide you away until I'm older.

You see, I should not be putting in these things all the time that really don't have anything to do with me. Like Jewell, because Jewell and I had nothing in common. Like Miss Clement and the husbands and her being an actress even when she lets her hair down. Like Ricky and the track and Mr. Pierce and the booze and the pool. Especially like Pietro saving Lee's life.

I can understand about everything but Pietro because you could sort of say the other things are not positive and might give me the wrong impression when I grow up and read you, diary. But it seems to me that Pietro's being such a hero and so modest about it is
very
positive and something I will want to remember as a happy time of my childhood, to read about when I'm old. And I would never ever show you to anybody else now that Jewell is gone forever. So Momma would be the only person to read you, and then me when I'm old, and both Momma and me already
know
about Pietro saving Lee's life so I don't see what was so wrong about writing that in you.

But I don't want to be difficult all over again and Momma almost had nerves over it so I'll just obey which will give me another star on the chart at least.

I'm sorry, diary. But that's the way it is. You never know.

Still your friend anyway,

Julian

Dear Diary,

There are lots of things I'd like to write in you tonight but I don't think they're in the hang of it so I just better say Hello and I love you. Besides, I'm tired and sort of depressed, I guess.

Julian

Dear Diary,

Today is November 18th. Thanksgiving is coming soon. I'm going to be Queen of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and wear a crown and the tutu and ride on a float!! Also soon Momma and me will give the food and old clothes to the poor Negroes next door. I wonder if we'll see anybody special. Today was okay. Rehearsal, a tunafish sandwich and milk at Grand Central Station before catching the train back to Yonkers, school, ballet and modern dance class one after the other, homework, piano practice, the script, supper, and to bed for the beauty sleep.

My Momma is the most wonderful Momma in the whole wide world. I love her so!!!

Julian

Dear Diary,

Today was Thanksgiving Day. I have so much to be thankful for. The Parade was nice but I was cold. Still, I was a trooper and am the luckiest little girl in the world. We ate turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy and cranberry sauce in a restaurant. It was very traditional (sp? Help Momma!).

Happy Thanksgiving!

Julian

P.S. We gave food and clothes to the poor Negroes next door and they were thankful. The only little girls over there now are all bigger than me so there wouldn't be anybody to give an organdy dress to anyway, even if it would be an insult which Momma and me would never ever make. Nobody else was there.