Drowning In The Dark: #4 The Veil Series (13 page)

Emotional? He had no idea. Or maybe he did. “I should know by now that whatever you say and do, you mean the exact opposite.” He’d sacrificed it all to stop me pulling my own pin and blowing myself away in the netherworld. That was not princely behavior.

His gaze softened. He really had meant everything he’d said. “My plans were perfect. But I did not foresee your volatile return. Had I made my escape any later, you’d have destroyed yourself, and the princes would still breach the veil. You are the best weapon Boston has.”

Speaking of weapons. “Akil, Dawn is alive.”

“Mm.”

“Mm?”

“Well, it’s hardly surprising. Adam Harper is a most resilient human being.” Resilient was one word for him. I could think of several others that weren’t nearly as polite. “The little half blood wasn’t at their facility.” He turned his face toward my window. “I freed all the remaining demons.”

“Then where is she?”

“If I do not know, then neither do the princes, and that is all that matters.” I watched him, watched the light soften the hard, masculine lines of his face. I wasn’t sure when it had happened, or what it meant, but he’d changed.

“It’s bad out there, Akil.” I followed his gaze to the windows but saw only darkness.

“The demon population of Boston will follow me.” He blinked at me as I questioned him with my gaze. “The publicity? Interviews and such? Every demon who’s enjoyed freedom in this city over the past few years knows I’m here. They will rally at my call.”

Every demon but me. Inside, I wanted his power. Not even Mammon could deny me. “And me? If I step outside that door, I’m all demon, and I sure as hell won’t follow you. It seems I have my own agenda.”

“The Mother of Destruction.” Amber singed his dark irises. “I can remove your infusion, giving you back your control. It’s your owner’s influence that’s distorting your desires.”

“Remove it or replace it with your own?”

“Ah, that is the pertinent question, isn’t it?” I waited, while he delayed, measuring his reply. “Do you remember I told you there are two ways to remove an infusion such as yours? One is to simply tear it out, but that would likely kill you. The other option is less painful, but...” I nodded for him to continue. “It takes a great deal of skill and control to remove it entirely, hence only a prince can do it. Such a feat will leave me weak at a time when neither of us can afford to be vulnerable.”

“How weak?”

He didn’t meet my eyes. “Too weak.”

“The solution?” I already knew the answer.

“I replace Damien’s infusion with my own.”

Of course.
I smiled, “Mm, and you get to control me? For my father, perhaps?”

“I would have thought I might have earned your trust by now.”

I barked a laugh. He’d even said that with a straight face. “The words ‘trust’ and ‘Akil’ should never be uttered in the same sentence.”

“I have no intention of handing you over to Asmodeus. Shortly after I brought you to Boston, I began to doubt my own motives. Whatever you think of me, I care about you in ways I struggle to admit, even to myself. It is an alien sensation—disarming—and I have no idea how to deal with it. I find my thoughts irrational around you. Believe me, Muse, I do not enjoy elevating your wellbeing above my own, but I cannot seem to stop from doing exactly that. In this form, it’s infuriating. As Mammon, I find my thoughts…dangerous.”

“I’m honored,” I drawled and then frowned at his less-than-appreciative scowl. “Maybe all the time you’ve spent playing
human
is rubbing off on you.”

“Perhaps, but I am not human.” Concern cut into his features.

My situation had gone beyond trust into necessity. If I was going to regain some measure of control, I had to rid myself of Damien for good. “Can I ever remove your soul-lock once you’re…in me?”

“Yes. When this is over and I can afford to be vulnerable, I’ll remove it completely. You have my word.”

“The word of a Prince of Hell?” I shook my head with a smile. His word was worthless. At least, it had been. I scooped Jonesy off my lap and wobbled to my feet. “Just… Just give me some space.”

“We do not have long.”

“I need you gone so I can think clearly.” And I needed to get out of my bloodied and filthy clothes, so I could at least pretend I was something close to human again. I needed to be alone with my thoughts.

He looked up at me from his position on the floor, the picture of composure even with his Institute sweats and mussed hair. “I’ll do what I can on the streets and return at dawn.” With that, he vanished, leaving me alone for the first time in what felt like weeks. Bone-weary, anxious, exhausted, battered, and bruised, I pushed all the concern and fear aside. I’d been ready to sacrifice it all to stop my brother. At least, that’s what I’d told myself. But inside, I feared Akil had been right. Suicide was not an option, even if it had seemed like the only way out. But he was back. There was another way out of this. I had to let Akil in and hope I didn’t live to regret not turning myself into ash in the netherworld.

T
he TV news
channels were filled with the chaos wrought overnight by the demon attack. The authorities, including the scattered ranks of enforcers, had managed to contain the madness, but speculation about more attacks was rife.
Could it get worse?
One channel noted Akil’s absence. As the spokesperson for the demon community, people wanted answers from him. I wished them luck with that. There were conflicted reports that some had seen him working with the demons at dawn, while others had seen him fighting against them. I tried to reach Ryder to check if Jenna was okay, but the signal on my cell kept dropping out. I tried Lacy’s number and got her voicemail. She’d left for her parents’ house in Maine and taken Rosa, my elderly neighbor, with her. I prayed they’d got out in time. I couldn’t even leave my apartment to check for fear I’d go nuclear the second I stepped outside.

Adam Harper’s disappearance made the headlines. Given his position as the head of the Boston Institute, the rumor was he’d been killed. I didn’t think my luck had changed, so I could assume he was still alive. If one person survived Armageddon, it’d be Adam Harper. Unless Stefan found him first.

Stefan… I had no way of knowing if he was okay. I’d left him out cold in his wrecked car. Wrath could have gone back and finished him off. Surely, if Stefan had been hurt, Akil would have told me. He had Prince FM in his head. He’d know if anything had happened to Stefan.

Trying Ryder’s cell again, I considered Akil’s confession. My father had tasked him to watch me. All this time, he’d been obliged to keep me close, not for himself, but for the Prince of Lust, Daddy Dearest. If that was the case, why had Levi come to collect me all those months ago? Perhaps because Akil had lost his title and was deemed weak. Asmodeus wanted me protected, and Akil’s ability to carry out his orders had been compromised. So my father must have sent Levi to collect me instead.

However, more disturbing than any of that was Akil’s confession that he cared. It should be impossible. If Akil’s words were true, then that put him at odds with my father’s wishes. As princes went, Asmodeus appeared powerful enough to order his brethren around. What would happen when the time came for Akil to hand me over?

The thought that my father was out there, waiting for me, sent a feverish heat washing through me. If Val had his way, it wouldn’t be long before I met our dearest father. If I survived that long. If any of us did.

I had to let Akil replace Damien’s tainted touch with his own. There was no way around it. I’d become so accustomed to Damien’s darkness sucking on my soul that I wondered just what I was agreeing to by letting Akil in. There was no choice here. If I didn’t agree, I’d cut loose and go nuclear. There wasn’t a way to come back from that, even if my half-blood body survived, my humanity probably wouldn’t. When Damien soul-locked me, it had been a vicious attack. Akil had mentioned that ours should be pleasurable union, very different from the physical and mental rape I’d endured beneath the claws of my owner.

My cell died. With a curse, I tossed it onto the kitchen countertop and turned, finding Akil standing in my kitchen. A feminine yelp slipped from me, prompting him to smile. “Holy hell. At least knock, or something.” I tightened my robe and tucked my damp hair behind my ears.

He’d swapped the sweats for black pants and an amethyst button-down shirt and had left his hair a ruffled mess, which worked just fine for me. He noticed me checking him out and arched an eyebrow. Damn him for being so devilishly delicious.

“What’s it like out there?” I flicked on the kettle. I needed coffee. Now. Intravenously, if possible.

“Better. I’ve made contact with the demons on this side of the veil. They’ll step in line or die.”

Subtle. I flicked him a glance. “And what about the king?”

“He’s…preparing.”

“Right. Like you’re doing right now. How convenient.”

“I’m not the King of Hell. If I was, I wouldn’t be in your apartment, wondering what it would be like to untie your robe, touch you in places I know will make you gasp, and breathe in your scent while my city crumbles.”

I ignored the deliberate attempt to bait me. At least I tried to ignore it, but a tiny slither of lust escaped my control and dashed the fine hairs on my arms. “What is the king thinking about then?”

“How to control his wayward subjects without a queen by his side.”

“Can’t he just find another queen?”

“It takes a special kind of demon to be queen, one who can both equal the king and negate his power. Chaos and control. Had we known this would all come to pass once the queen was killed…” A low growl rumbled through him. “Well, the past is filled with graveyards of fools. While the king survives, there is a chance the worst outcome can be averted.”

“If the veil falls?”

“It can be restored, provided the balance between chaos and control is reasserted.” I didn’t hear him move, but I knew he stood behind me just from the warmth pushing against my back. He gathered my hair in a hand and drew it away from my neck. When he spoke, his whispers tickled my skin. “Have you considered what to do about your unwanted visitor?”

I had a quip ready, something about kicking him out, but Akil’s soft lips touched my neck, sending shivers through me. He swirled the tip of his tongue and nipped gently snatching a gasp from me. “Yes.” I exhaled.

“Yes, you have, or yes, you agree to my taking his place?”

I cleared my throat and extricated myself from between him and the kitchen cupboards. “Yes, I’ve thought about it.” I moved into my living room area and fussed with some old magazines. “If I have to do this—which apparently I do—then I want to know how it’s done.” Meeting his gaze, I crossed my arms and lifted my chin. “I need to know all the details.”

He leaned against the countertop and regarded me with that look of perpetual amusement he wore when bored, intrigued, or angry. “If I tell you the details, it will negate the pleasurable aspects.”

“Pleasurable aspects?” I spluttered. “People are dying out there, and I’m not faring much better. Fun is the last thing from my mind right now.”

“Worrying about the demise of anonymous people won’t bring them back.”

Pursing my lips, I planted a hand on a hip. “How very demon of you.”

“Thank you.”

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

His eyes sparkled. “Do you want to sit here and wallow in your human emotions some more, or do you want to do something to protect these anonymous people? ‘
Don’t let me destroy everything I’ve loved
,’ those were your words?”

I glared back at him. “Yes.”

“Then let me help you. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.”

“Because you’ve been the picture of helpfulness up until now? I’ve lost count the amount of times I’ve seen you help old ladies cross the street or rehome stray dogs or volunteer your services for the benefit of humankind.”

His smile twitched and turned down, and his eyes flared with the touch of amber. “You’re the most infuriating woman I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet.”

“Thank you.”

“That wasn’t a compliment.” There was some of that emotion he’d mentioned, just a flicker on his face, a crack in his mask.

“The soul-lock and your part in it, tell me everything now. Otherwise, it doesn’t happen.”

“Must you be so pedantic?”

“Akil, humans have these wonderful little things we like to cling onto called souls. The jury’s still out as to whether demons have them. I sincerely doubt you do. I’m not about to hand mine over without knowing what it entails. Tell me why demons would ever do this to one another? What is the purpose of a soul-lock?”

“An infusion, executed correctly, strengthens both demons. The infusion or soul-lock Damien subjected you to is a knotted cancer. It would never have worked because you weren’t willing. He forced it upon you. Therefore, it had the opposite effect. It weakened you and probably him, although he was too lost in greed to care.” Greed? That coming from the Prince of Greed.

“Okay, so it’s mutually beneficial. What happens when you’re…in me?”

He caught my flinch. “I will not hurt you.”

“Then how does it happen? Before, when Damien…” My chest ached, and despite my best efforts to appear calm, my heart stuttered. I was quite sure the fear showed on my face. I didn’t have the energy to hide myself from Akil. He moved forward but stopped when I shot him a warning glare. “Just tell me.”

“I must weave my element deep inside, pluck out Damien’s hold, discard it, and replace it with my own. Think of it like surgery, if you must. Before, with Damien, you underwent surgery without the aid of an anesthetic. By making it sexual, I can heighten what would be pain into pleasure. It helps that you have your father’s penchant for lust—”

“Stop right there.” I massaged my forehead, fending off a headache.

“You asked for details.”

“I need you to understand. This is… a business transaction. I’m not doing this because I want to.”

“I am painfully aware of that fact.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I was about to tell you as much before the Institute shot me down in the alley a few nights ago. I’ve wanted this for a very long time, but…” He smiled, revealing blunt human teeth. “...not in this manner. I’d prefer you
wanted
to share yourself with me in a genuine union.”

My mouth fell open. Did the gates of hell open and swallow us all? “Holy shit, Akil. Do you hear yourself? Are you feeling alright?”

“Not particularly, but needs must take priority.”

“Okay, look. When all of this is over, we can discuss…” I gestured between us, flicking my hand back and forth with a frown. “…this, whatever it is. Until then, quit being soft. It’s freaking me out.” He settled his gaze on me, lips tight, eyes tighter. “Good. I need you to answer one last thing. Are you doing this to control me?”

“No. Had that been my intention, I could have taken advantage of your naivety long ago and locked you with ease. As I said, I’ve only ever tried to help you. Right now, I’m trying to protect you from yourself. You are—and will be—destruction. You need absolute control, and you need to be all demon if you’re going to survive what is to come.”

“What is to come?”

“That, I cannot tell you.” His smiled softened. “To know one’s future is a curse. You would not thank me for it.”

“So you really do know?” He blinked back at me. “All of it? Everything?”

“Don’t ask this of me.”

“Do I survive?”

His gaze dropped.

“Does Stefan?” He flinched. “Does he?”

“Muse, I have only the knowledge which Asmodeus permits, and Stefan isn’t part of that.”

“Not part of my future, you mean?”

He lifted his eyes. “That is not what I said.”

Oh, God. I couldn’t go through this without Stefan. I needed him, the immovable ice to my liquid fire. Just the thought of him not being there crushed my heart inside my chest and strangled the hope right out of my existence.

“Muse.” Akil said my name with enough force behind it to bring my rapidly deteriorating thoughts to a halt. “We do not have time for you to second-guess a future you cannot change.”

“Then I suppose we’d better get on with it.” I worried my lip between my teeth and swallowed deeply.

He stalked forward, fingers flicking open his shirt buttons. The fabric teased open, revealing a glimpse of bronze skin. I bumped back against the wall beside the window, unaware until that moment that I’d been backing up. Irrational panic dumped ice water in my veins. By the time he’d stopped in front of me, head bowed, shirt open, I was having a hard time trying to convince myself not to run.

He caught my hand—the one clutched on the belt of my robe—and turned it over, peeling open my fingers. Lifting my hand to his lips, he met my wide-eyed gaze and teased the tip of my index finger between his lips. A shudder tumbled through me, not entirely pleasurable—more like fear and terrible anticipation. He turned my hand over and trailed hot kisses over my knuckles. Lifting my wrist, he planted a heavier kiss over my racing pulse. When his flicked his gaze up this time, a golden burn haloed his dark irises. He wanted this, but I—

“Touch me.”

I moistened dry lips, uncertainty stalling me. He planted my hand on his chest, and a wave of heat spilled down my arm. His ethereal touch, a trait all demons shared. An extra sense. It was that touch that would need to dive inside me and dig out Damien. I shuddered and stilled when Akil’s lips brushed mine. He teased with his tongue, trying to convince me to open to him. This was going to be more difficult than I could have imagined.

“Muse…” He sighed, “You must relax.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“You must be willing.”

“It’s just...” I was afraid, not of Akil, but of the horrible memories bubbling below my thoughts, waiting to resurface. I thought I’d dealt with it. I thought I’d moved on. But I hadn’t at all. “It still hurts.” I was afraid of who I was, afraid of what was to come… So terribly afraid of everything.

“That will pass. Once I have him out of you, you’ll be your own being again.”

I nodded, not trusting my voice. Akil’s gaze searched mine, but what he saw there didn’t please him. He clenched his teeth, twitching a muscle in his cheek, and then pushed off me, strode to the nearest framed anti-elemental symbol, tore it off its hook, and threw it to the floor. The sound of glass breaking accompanied the blast of heat from my demon as she came roaring out of the dark. I opened my mouth to cry out, only to find Akil’s heat against mine. His kiss was a savage invasion. To call it a kiss belittled the attack. His lips burned, his tongue licked and teased, and I fell into him, starved for him. Concerns and fears were shoved aside. I needed this. Fire bloomed inside me. My element unfurled, opening, embracing. Yes, I’d wanted this for years—to take
all of him
into me, drink him down until he filled me up. The demon in me, the fire, the lust, the hunger, shoved my humanity aside.

His ethereal touch, a quiver of electric power in the rush of heat, filtered through my flesh and dove inside. Human worries bobbed to the surface of my thoughts, but Akil’s hands speared into my hair and pulled me so close I forgot it all. Lust ran through me like wildfire. I sunk my hands over his behind and yanked him hard against me, swallowing his groan inside our raging kiss. Pleasure spiraled higher, like a hawk caught in the updraft. I rode the madness, snarling when he pulled back, demanding more when he tore open my robe and brushed his thumbs over my nipples. When his mouth scalded those peaks, I arched back, hissing. Energies danced in the air between us. Need throbbed. Demon wants filled my head. I fumbled at his zipper, but it snagged, and with a frustrated groan, I diverted my hands to the hard ridge of his arousal, grinning as a powerful shudder tumbled through him. He growled out my name and knocked my hand aside, hissing into my cheek, “not yet.” The distinct touch of his ethereal power swirled around us, circling like a storm. At its eye, Akil pushed inside.